why do guys hate being picked-up?

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  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    I think men enjoy being picked up (on a dating level) by girls, as long as they are interested in the girl. :drinker:

    Even if we're not interested. It's an ego boosting event that never-to-rarely happens in a man's lifetime.

    so if you're not interested, how do you turn her down? One guy told me he had to repaint his apartment (maybe equivalent to a woman's "I have to wash my hair all day saturday"?
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    I know that I've had to pick up some of my chick friends (and they all weren't skinny) and throw them over my shoulder and carry them places because they were just being defiant, and I know they hated every second of it...
    so I read your response and thought "man I wish I was a lesbian".... u know how weird first thoughts are...

    but hey, if I was I coulda dated that Olympic hockey player who was hot for me...
  • diolpah
    diolpah Posts: 134 Member
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    I think men enjoy being picked up (on a dating level) by girls, as long as they are interested in the girl. :drinker:

    Even if we're not interested. It's an ego boosting event that never-to-rarely happens in a man's lifetime.

    so if you're not interested, how do you turn her down? One guy told me he had to repaint his apartment (maybe equivalent to a woman's "I have to wash my hair all day saturday"?

    "I'm very flattered, but I'm a taken man."

    In my case, it's true. If I were still single, I'd probably go with "I'm flattered, but you're not my type."

    In any event, it's not something that really ever happens to men below the 95th percentile, so it's not something I've put much thought into.
  • maiaroman18
    maiaroman18 Posts: 460 Member
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    I know that I've had to pick up some of my chick friends (and they all weren't skinny) and throw them over my shoulder and carry them places because they were just being defiant, and I know they hated every second of it...
    so I read your response and thought "man I wish I was a lesbian".... u know how weird first thoughts are...

    but hey, if I was I coulda dated that Olympian hockey player who was hot for me...
    I had two bigger brothers growing up who liked to fight, one of which is 6'7" 300+ lbs, so I had to learn how to hold my own; I'm not exactly a weakling. That, and I'm fairly tall, so I just learned to be the 'babysitter' for my friends.

    Nowadays, if I run into people that I went to high school with and they find out I have a kid, they're shocked because they all thought I was a lesbian. Not sure why, but I find it hilarious.
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    I think men enjoy being picked up (on a dating level) by girls, as long as they are interested in the girl. :drinker:

    Even if we're not interested. It's an ego boosting event that never-to-rarely happens in a man's lifetime.

    so if you're not interested, how do you turn her down? One guy told me he had to repaint his apartment (maybe equivalent to a woman's "I have to wash my hair all day saturday"?

    "I'm very flattered, but I'm a taken man."

    In my case, it's true. If I were still single, I'd probably go with "I'm flattered, but you're not my type."

    In any event, it's not something that really ever happens to men below the 95th percentile, so it's not something I've put much thought into.

    that's just sad. I think every guy should be asked out at least once or twice in his life...:flowerforyou:
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    I know that I've had to pick up some of my chick friends (and they all weren't skinny) and throw them over my shoulder and carry them places because they were just being defiant, and I know they hated every second of it...
    so I read your response and thought "man I wish I was a lesbian".... u know how weird first thoughts are...

    but hey, if I was I coulda dated that Olympian hockey player who was hot for me...
    I had two bigger brothers growing up who liked to fight, one of which is 6'7" 300+ lbs, so I had to learn how to hold my own; I'm not exactly a weakling. That, and I'm fairly tall, so I just learned to be the 'babysitter' for my friends.

    Nowadays, if I run into people that I went to high school with and they find out I have a kid, they're shocked because they all thought I was a lesbian. Not sure why, but I find it hilarious.

    same thing happens to me... shock and awe when I introduce the husband...

    I think I spent too much time hanging out with my brothers, bad influence when you're supposed to be learning how to be a girl!
  • diolpah
    diolpah Posts: 134 Member
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    that's just sad. I think every guy should be asked out at least once or twice in his life...:flowerforyou:

    It's not really "sad". It's just reality. Whether it's evolutionary/genetic sociology or the persistence of Victorian gender roles, it simply is.
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    lol because when a girl can pick up a male it makes them feel inferior... they like to be strong and the masculine role.. but hey im proud of you! good job! :)
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    that's just sad. I think every guy should be asked out at least once or twice in his life...:flowerforyou:

    It's not really "sad". It's just reality. Whether it's evolutionary/genetic sociology or the persistence of Victorian gender roles, it simply is.
    it may be reality right now, but I believe change is possible. I have to believe social mores can change because so much of what is the 'norm' right now depresses me. I'm speaking of wider issues than just women asking men out.
  • diolpah
    diolpah Posts: 134 Member
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    I'm only picked up by fuglies, so, that's why.

    Oh, I guess in girl terms they're called creeps. Now, if they were hot, it would be fine by me. Yeah, double standard but it goes both ways.

    It's not like less attractive women are congenitally blind, stupid or have ****ty taste. What the woman looks like would have absolutely no bearing on the effect of the approach on the ego. I'd be flattered just the same. The only difference would be your response to it.
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    I'm only picked up by fuglies, so, that's why.

    Oh, I guess in girl terms they're called creeps. Now, if they were hot, it would be fine by me. Yeah, double standard but it goes both ways.
    wow, u must be a super nice guy, cause the fuglies actually think they have a chance!
  • maiaroman18
    maiaroman18 Posts: 460 Member
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    ooo... so tempted to flirt, but my husband is watching...
    Come sit by me and flirt away. I'm sure your husband won't mind :wink:
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    I'm only picked up by fuglies, so, that's why.

    Oh, I guess in girl terms they're called creeps. Now, if they were hot, it would be fine by me. Yeah, double standard but it goes both ways.
    wow, u must be a super nice guy, cause the fuglies actually think they have a chance!

    Thx. I was responding to a remark about creeps. I hate hate the term. We're only creepy if you don't enjoy the advance, otherwise, if you enjoy it, it's awesome. It's just a stupid term. A creep is just someone you don't want hitting on you. That's all.
    fair comment.
    I actually have a lot of sympathy for men asking women out... You're vulnerable in that moment.

    In college I hung out with an attractive woman who tried to see how many guys she could turn down in a night... course she had to pretend interest first.
  • diolpah
    diolpah Posts: 134 Member
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    it may be reality right now, but I believe change is possible. I have to believe social mores can change because so much of what is the 'norm' right now depresses me. I'm speaking of wider issues than just women asking men out.

    Maybe. There is mounting evidence that gender roles are not merely social constructs, but may be evolutionarily-guided proclivities that society simply codified into institutions.

    In any event, if you're actually asking men out, you're doing the Lord's work.
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    ooo... so tempted to flirt, but my husband is watching...
    Come sit by me and flirt away. I'm sure your husband won't mind :wink:
    so sweet an offerrr....
    a comedian (can't remember name) once said "aren't women beautiful? if I was a woman, I'd be a lesbian. Seriously, all women should be lesbians."
  • _ting_
    _ting_ Posts: 45
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    it may be reality right now, but I believe change is possible. I have to believe social mores can change because so much of what is the 'norm' right now depresses me. I'm speaking of wider issues than just women asking men out.

    Maybe. There is mounting evidence that gender roles are not merely social constructs, but may be evolutionarily-guided proclivities that society simply codified into institutions.

    In any event, if you're actually asking men out, you're doing the Lord's work.
    mmmm...
    I once read about a fascinating tribe in Papua New Guinea where the men and women lived in separate villages a distance from each other. There was a formal courting ritual when men were allowed into the women's village. young boys stayed with the women until age of 5 or 6. What struck me was the description of the women standing on a hilltop overlooking the men's village and taunting the men prior to the ritual...
    Even if gender roles are not just social constructs there are a variety of ways the proclivities can be codified into institutions...

    As for the Lord's work, I'm an atheist so I'm going to pretend that is a reference to the Victorian practices you mentioned before.

    Sorry, it's late and I'm off to bed. thanks everyone for making my sunday evening enjoyable...
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Who are these men? I would LOVE to be picked up. I feel sad knowing that no woman in my adult life have picked me up :(
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    I think men enjoy being picked up (on a dating level) by girls, as long as they are interested in the girl. :drinker:

    Even if we're not interested. It's an ego boosting event that never-to-rarely happens in a man's lifetime.
    You've never met a friend of mine then, but from my experience most of the guys did not enjoy her behavior. :laugh: I guess there is a difference between being hit on and having a girl throw herself at you though, right?

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