How healthy do your kids eat?
sjcply
Posts: 817 Member
I am really trying hard to teach my children healthy eating.....BUT they just arent getting it! I have a 14 yr old son, 9 yr old dtr and 5 yr old dtr. My 14 yr old son and 5 yr old dtr are skinny. My 9 yr old dtr is a little overweight.
So my question is, Do you make your children eat healthy or do you just not worry about it. I have really tried to show my overweight 9 yr old how to make healthy choices, she is pretty active in gymnastics and dance. But she is steadily gaining weight. Her 2 best friends are overweight also and that doesnt help matters, because they are always together and their parents let them eat what they want.
I do not want her to grow up and fight this problem her entire adult life, but I dont want to push her over the edge either, she is already very self conscious about it. Where do you draw the line with kids, let them be who they are even if it means them being overweight as a child and adult or be the mean parent and make them eat foods they dont like.
Should I limit her time with her two best friends or just talk to their parents about what she eats at there house.
:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: It is so frustrating to see your child not care about her health!
So my question is, Do you make your children eat healthy or do you just not worry about it. I have really tried to show my overweight 9 yr old how to make healthy choices, she is pretty active in gymnastics and dance. But she is steadily gaining weight. Her 2 best friends are overweight also and that doesnt help matters, because they are always together and their parents let them eat what they want.
I do not want her to grow up and fight this problem her entire adult life, but I dont want to push her over the edge either, she is already very self conscious about it. Where do you draw the line with kids, let them be who they are even if it means them being overweight as a child and adult or be the mean parent and make them eat foods they dont like.
Should I limit her time with her two best friends or just talk to their parents about what she eats at there house.
:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: It is so frustrating to see your child not care about her health!
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Replies
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Coming from a current teen of parents who never helped me make healthy food choices, I say do what you can to help her. If that means you have to limit time with her friends because they're bad examples, fine. If that means you have to start rationing her dinner plate, do it. I can only imagine how much better my life would have been so far if I hadn't ballooned up to almost 300 pounds by my Freshman year in high school. I secretly wish my parents would have put me on a "diet" of some sort. I may have resented them for it then, but I'd be so grateful now.
EDIT: Of course that doesn't mean you have to be mean about it. It doesn't mean that she has to be put on a strict diet either. Just make little changes, and the weight will come off. She's already involved in sports, so that's great! Now help her make healthier food choices. Limit the junk food and fast food. If you're on MFP because you're trying to lose weight, start making dinners and lunches that are healthy and not only for you, but the rest of your family.
Good luck, really. 0 -
Unfortunately, my son doesn't eat healthy at ALL. He is only 2.5 years old and he just will not eat a vegetable to save his life. He eats bananas, and that's about the extent of his fruit consumption. I generally give him whatever he wants, because I fear he will just not eat at all if I don't and he's already underweight for his age. I do worry about it in the future, because I feel like I am creating bad diet habits but I really don't know what else to do at this point.0
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My 4 year old is a picky eater. I offer him good options but I don't force him if he doesn't want it. I try to sneak things in when I can. If I gave him a plate of healthy food he just wouldn't eat.0
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I don't have an answer ... but will be watching this thread for answers. You've raised some VERY good issues and questions. My girls are 6 and 8, and admittedly we don't eat the best diet. But I'm very active and try to encourage my girls to be active too. My oldest is very active, a decent eater (i.e. she likes fruits and veggies), and so far has an athletic/slim build. But my youngest has some developmental issues that hinder her ability to run and be active, but she enjoys dancing, gymnastics and swimming. Genetically she seems predisposed to large hips and general pear shape (and she still has her toddler belly fat). I'm concerned about what habits (good and bad) I'm giving them, plus the whole "body image" issue. Again, I'll be interested to see others comments. Thanks!0
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Unfortunately, my son doesn't eat healthy at ALL. He is only 2.5 years old and he just will not eat a vegetable to save his life. He eats bananas, and that's about the extent of his fruit consumption. I generally give him whatever he wants, because I fear he will just not eat at all if I don't and he's already underweight for his age. I do worry about it in the future, because I feel like I am creating bad diet habits but I really don't know what else to do at this point.
I wouldn't worry at 2.5 years. My daughter has always been a underweight and the doctors always said to not worry myself with it. When your son is hungry he will eat what you provide. I finally stopped trying to "fatten" up my daughter with whole milk and letting her eat anything she wants. She eats what we cook for the most part. I don't push healthy food on her too much I just try to lead by example. Luckily, she wants to do just about anything that I do. I even got her taking shots of aloe juice even though we both think its pretty gross.0 -
My kids are still young. My son is almost 4 and my baby is only 2 months. I always have the healthy stuff where he can reach and the junk where he can't. I don't completely stop him from having treats or crappy food. I just make the healthy food more accessable. He likes to think he's big, so getting his own food is motivation for him. He is a pretty picky eater also, but I figure he will eat when he gets hungry!! Good luck0
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My situation is different than most, and I do find it hard sometimes... My kids are still very young, 3.5 and 10months, but both of them are in less than the 5th percentile for weight. I've been to a nutritionist for my son(3.5yo) to try and fine ways to sneak in extra calories. So, I am supposed to give my kids all the things that I need to cut out! It's hard to basically make two seperate meals all the time, but I am thankful that my kids are healthy, and gaining, albeit slowly. Both of them, but especially my son, would choose veggies and fruit over anything else, even cake!! So, in the long run, this will be a good thing, and I certainly don't want to discourage these habits, but I seriously find myself saying things like, "Eat ALL your Mac and Cheese, and then you can have more beans.."0
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My almost 7 year old daughter eats wonderfully. She'll try anything at least once and eats all fruits and veggies given to her (with the exception of brussel sprouts and greens-mustard, collard, ect-because we don't buy them-I don't like them either). I'm a vegetarian and my husband is not so she's always been around really healthy things. When she was a baby and we started whole foods we gave her veggies and then fruits so she wouldn't crave sweets.
Junk food in the house is very limited and we're lucky that all of her friends parents are have the same way of thinking as we do. Junk is limited to outings and very special occasions. We do bake on the weekends and cook fresh for every meal. She helps me prepare and cook/bake and she goes to the store with me. She loves going to the farmers markets and Whole Foods...she loves new foods. We've also taught her where the food comes from-we have a garden and understands the importance of fresh foods vs. prepared foods that offer no nutrients. She knows about vitamins and minerals as she knows that it's vital for mommy to eat very healthfully so as to get what is needed to survive (I also am quite close to being vegan-always have been).
She's very active because we limit her tv/video games to 2 hours a day and the rest of the time she either plays outside, helps around the house and garden, or she can read/work on school work/or play creative games. There is nothing worse than seeing a kid sit in front of the tv for hours on end eating crap food and drinking soda.
Give kids an option, go shopping togeather, look at kids cook books, and watch Jamie Olivers Food Revolution as a family-it's an eye opener (even my husband liked it-and if he didn't have me cooking for him, he'd survive off of junk, lol).0 -
I feel very blessed that I don't have picky eaters, and very thankful that I started this life change when my kids were/are very young. My kids always want to eat what mommys eatting. Mommy eats a lot of celery and veggies. My son is 3 and my daugher will be 5 next month. Pickiness isn't really an option in my home, You have to try something 3 times before you can say you don't like it 1 for taste, 1 for texture and 1 to be sure- usually that is the entire portion I give them LOL....but if they choose not to eat it they don't get dessert, dessert is usally fruit hahaha...which is crazy enough they hate to be denied. I also buy fruitables (like v8 fusion) only cheaper and made specifically for kids. My kids see me work out, hear about me working out, Its just me and the two of them so they eat what i eat if its salmon, eggplant, cherry tomatoes, and wild rice (last nights dinner) so be it. I give them correct portion sizes. I do let them have kid things every once in a while. I mean I don't want to give them a complex, but I talk with them about what bodies need and how sugar and sweets effect the body, suprisingly enough, they understand a lot of if. I personally susbscribe to the thought process, I'm their mother, first and if they dont' view me as a friend now, thats fine one day, they will, but its my job to raise them and help them the best I can now. just my view though...like i said my oldest is 5 so i'm still kinda new at this game...it seems to be working though, they eat healthy, they are respectful, they mind their manners, about 80 percent of the time.0
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When my kids were younger I didnt worry about it either....but my dtr is 9 and she is in the TWEEN stage where a girls self esteem really plays a role in there upcoming teen and adult life, and I dont want weight to be an issue for her to deal with! I do not have her on a diet, I am just simply trying to show her healthier alternatives but she just doesnt like them.
When I grew up my parents didnt eat healthy and NEVER worked out, So I didnt even know what to do until I married a man that was health conscious, and worked out daily. So I know my dtr knows her options I just wish she would use them....I guess!
Thanks for your imput!0 -
When my kids were younger I didnt worry about it either....but my dtr is 9 and she is in the TWEEN stage where a girls self esteem really plays a role in there upcoming teen and adult life, and I dont want weight to be an issue for her to deal with! I do not have her on a diet, I am just simply trying to show her healthier alternatives but she just doesnt like them.
When I grew up my parents didnt eat healthy and NEVER worked out, So I didnt even know what to do until I married a man that was health conscious, and worked out daily. So I know my dtr knows her options I just wish she would use them....I guess!
Thanks for your imput!
She may be about to hit puberty and that will effect her weight...she'll probably start to sprout up (and out, if you get my drift). Don't worry too much about it yet, if she is still like this in a few years, then go see a doctore about it. But for now just let her be, monitor the amount of junk, keep her active, and provide support (all of which you're probably doing). I started my period when I was 10 and wasn't heavy at 9 but I still had my baby fat...by age 10 1/2 that baby fat was gone (I swear it all went to my boobs, lol).0 -
I founds that kids learn best by example. We try to have healthy meals and lots of fruits and veggies in the house. My daughter has her own drawer in our kitchen that has "her food" in it. It has lots of healthy options for her to choose from in little containers that she can get if she is hungry. We only drink water and milk in our house 90% of the time and we have never given her soda.
We have made desserts a treat and not a regular thing at home. If we are going to have a dessert, we go out and do a family activity (water gun fight, walk, soccor) then come in and have dessert. It leaves out the tempation of not finishing dinner because I want room for dessert.
I have also never done "clean plate club". I let my daughter decide when she is full. She stops when she has had enough.
I find it imporant to show them the correct choices and teach them those choices. If it is only demanded and not understood then when they are not with you what are they eating. I always found school lunches to be the worse. If you have a child that is overweight, recommend packing a school lunch for 4 days a week then have school lunch only 1 day. That gives a day to be like their friends. That is what I did all the high school. It was cheaper too.
Well, that's my 2 cents worth and what I do with my daughter (now 3) and I raised my brother through his teenage years and did this too.
Good Luck.0 -
you can also put too much emphasis on it as i feel i have done with my daughters 5 yrs and 4yrs. I was so worried about them having a weight problem (their father 50 pounds and i 75 pounds overweight) that I taught her all about protein, carbs, fat, sugar, ect. Before every meal we discussed if it was healthy or not. What is a sometimes food and what is an everyday food....
Unfortunately, what i created is a five year old who is way too body conscience, checks her belly in the mirror (she's very thin), and feels guilty when she's hungry.
I am now trying desperately to back peddle and give her a more balanced view.
signed :guilty parent:
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I have a 2 year old who will eat anything I give her, which is a nice change from my other two. My 3yr old lives on peanut butter sandwiches. It is a fight to get him to eat anything else. My 9yr old son is a big kid, but not overweight. He will eat almost any kind of meat, but hates veggies and is picky on his fruit. He plays several sports, so I know he is getting some physical activity, but I recently noticed his stomach was getting kind of poochy and flabby. So I began to monitor his pop and snack foods. I have also cut out the fast food and I started making him eat at least a spoonful of whatever kind of veggie I have cooked with dinenr that night. He will sit at the table until he does it - sometimes that has taken a while. Now I just need to apply that same philosophy to my 3yr old.0
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My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are very stressed by this issue. I have an 8 yo daughter. I also coach young girls (8-12 yo) through a program called Girls on the Run.
I believe it is super important to lead by example with our kids. You are taking great care of yourself and they are watching you. By your actions alone, you are showing them to do as I do not just as I say.
Once kids get older it also helps to have someone outside the home who is a positive role model spend time "showing" your children as well. Unfortunately, children reach an age where they will accept more information from someone who does not live with them. Have you considered enrolling your daughter in a program like Girls on the Run?
I am lucky that I have never had to make my daughter eat healthy. She just does. Because I know that she eats very healthy at home, I am ok with her eating things we don't eat when she is at a friends or at school. If she is eating healthy 80% of the time, I am happy with what I call the 80% rule.
Hope this helps. Pm me if you would like someone to talk to...0 -
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first of all i just want to point out the difference between a picky eater, a spoiled child, and an obese or overweight child. i have been all three at different stages of my life.
Picky - to this day i'm a picky eater - sometimes that just doesn't change with age. and it can't be helped. but even though it limits my options of healthy food, i have experimented enough to find healthy food that i can tolerate and ways to incorporate it in my diet. i have a list of foods that i love, foods i despise and foods that are mehhh.... lol. and i realize that in order to lose weight i will need a bit of each.
Spoiled - there were a couple of years where i was allowed to do whatever i wanted (i was conscious of this since it started after my moms death when i was 12) and just flat WOULD NOT eat anything healthy because i didn't have to. that changed. thankfully! because then my dad married my stepmom and she taught me how to eat healthy by eliminating junk food at the house completely and making healthy food choices available. if i wanted junk, i had to save money and buy/eat it at school, because there was no way i was getting it at home except on holidays. she cooked our evening meals (even though yes she had a full time job and 3 other kids of her own) and we rarely ate out.
Overweight - my whole life i had been overweight until my stepmom moved in. then we started actually having a meal schedule, and i discovered new foods that i hadn't bothered to try before. before that i was teased and lectured by peers and family and honestly, this only made the problem worse. i found friends that looked like me, and just stayed away from family. it wasn't until i reached adolescence and really started caring about the way i looked, and then after watching my mother die of colon cancer that was related to her obesity and poor eating habits, that's when i started caring and vowed to do my best to take care of myself so my kids wouldn't have to go through that also.
kids' palates are just different from adults. but they still need nutrition just as we do. maybe a change in the way meals are prepared or served is all it takes to get your child to enjoy dinnertime! i have some recipes on my blog that are good for picky eaters and contain veggies, ways to add veggies and meats and dairy. hope this helps!0 -
I was hoping my niece would answer - she is doing great with her 7 and 5 yr old. Here are a few suggestions:
No fast food
Buy only healthy items to stock up your pantry and refrigerator
Get the kids involved in making yummy, healthy meals and TREATS
There are many recipes for home made sorbets, healthy sno-cones, cookies and cakes - here and on many other sites
Let the kids choose - if you only have healthy foods in the house - they will choose healthy
Don't make a big deal about eating something they don't like - they have to try everything but if they don't like it that's OK
Good luck!0 -
Coming from a current teen of parents who never helped me make healthy food choices, I say do what you can to help her. If that means you have to limit time with her friends because they're bad examples, fine. If that means you have to start rationing her dinner plate, do it. I can only imagine how much better my life would have been so far if I hadn't ballooned up to almost 300 pounds by my Freshman year in high school. I secretly wish my parents would have put me on a "diet" of some sort. I may have resented them for it then, but I'd be so grateful now.
EDIT: Of course that doesn't mean you have to be mean about it. It doesn't mean that she has to be put on a strict diet either. Just make little changes, and the weight will come off. She's already involved in sports, so that's great! Now help her make healthier food choices. Limit the junk food and fast food. If you're on MFP because you're trying to lose weight, start making dinners and lunches that are healthy and not only for you, but the rest of your family. Good luck, really.
Thanks, good to hear from a teen! That is what we are currently doing. I have lost my weight and now I am maintaining it, I exercise alot and she sees that. I try to show her a healthy option to what she is eating, but she in just not interested! I can not control what she eats at her friends house, and apparently that is the issue. I just dont want to be the mean mom and not let her hang out with her besties!
Thanks for your input! and good luck to you!0 -
i am always worried about this issue since my 6 yr old is autisic, and its hard to discuss or explain why mommy is overweight - i dont use that word with her because she doesnt get. In my house, I am the only one fighting a weight problem, the kids are good in height and weight and my husband doesnt gain weight, ever. I noticed my kids dont eat junk food since they watch alot of disney channel some of that healthy stuff they show on disney actually get through to them. I have a 6 , 4 and 3 yr old and when we go to the store they go for fresh fruit and carrots- and lots of ranch they dont care if its diet.
My daughter eats the side salad from chick fil a and nothing else, maybe some chicken with ranch.
she wont choose a happy meal.. if shes hungry she will tell me what she wants and at mc donalds the kids just want the toy. i save money by not buying the happy meals. :happy:0 -
I founds that kids learn best by example. We try to have healthy meals and lots of fruits and veggies in the house. My daughter has her own drawer in our kitchen that has "her food" in it. It has lots of healthy options for her to choose from in little containers that she can get if she is hungry. We only drink water and milk in our house 90% of the time and we have never given her soda.
We have made desserts a treat and not a regular thing at home. If we are going to have a dessert, we go out and do a family activity (water gun fight, walk, soccor) then come in and have dessert. It leaves out the tempation of not finishing dinner because I want room for dessert.
I have also never done "clean plate club". I let my daughter decide when she is full. She stops when she has had enough.
I find it imporant to show them the correct choices and teach them those choices. If it is only demanded and not understood then when they are not with you what are they eating. I always found school lunches to be the worse. If you have a child that is overweight, recommend packing a school lunch for 4 days a week then have school lunch only 1 day. That gives a day to be like their friends. That is what I did all the high school. It was cheaper too.
Well, that's my 2 cents worth and what I do with my daughter (now 3) and I raised my brother through his teenage years and did this too.
Good Luck.
Thanks! We def are going to do the no lunch at school because you are right, they are the worst lunches ever!0 -
"I have really tried to show my overweight 9 yr old how to make healthy choices, she is pretty active in gymnastics and dance. But she is steadily gaining weight. Her 2 best friends are overweight also and that doesnt help matters, because they are always together and their parents let them eat what they want."
I would not worry too much about your daughter. As long as she stays active and eats relatively well, she will grow into her weight. Children have a tendency to grow outward then upward- especially in the preteen years. Being active is a huge key. I would, however, limit time with friends (out of your home) if that involves mindless eating of total junk!
My 9, 23, 24, and 26 year olds eat pretty healthy- my 17 year old, not so much. I try to keep the house stocked with healthy choices, but sometimes it just comes down to trying to find something that they will actually eat.0 -
I was hoping my niece would answer - she is doing great with her 7 and 5 yr old. Here are a few suggestions:
No fast food
Buy only healthy items to stock up your pantry and refrigerator
Get the kids involved in making yummy, healthy meals and TREATS
There are many recipes for home made sorbets, healthy sno-cones, cookies and cakes - here and on many other sites
Let the kids choose - if you only have healthy foods in the house - they will choose healthy
Don't make a big deal about eating something they don't like - they have to try everything but if they don't like it that's OK
Good luck!
We already do this, no junk in our house, very limited fast food and if we do it is grilled, no sodas! I only have water, gatorade and milk in my house!
Our issue isnt what to feed them, it is how to deal with the fact that she doesnt want to eat healthy and am I being a horrible mother for pushing it on her. should I just let her be herself even if it is unhealthy!
Thanks for you input!0 -
I totally understand where you are coming from. I also have 3 kids (13g, 9b, and 6g). And the younger 2 are normal/thin, but my oldest is and has been a little overweight. I admit that in the past I was not the best example, and I have to work at it everyday. But, like you I am trying to teach her smart healthy habits and limits. She has the 13 year old attitude so it is not easy to see her unhappy or disappointed when I tell her she can not have a "snack" every night or limit the amount of pasta she eats or if I make something that is not something she "likes" but that is healthyier. I apologize to her and tell her it is my fault this is hard on her, that is was my mistakes in the past that led her and myself to make these changes just to be more healthy, not to lose weight so much. Being at this age I don't want to hurt her self image or create unhealthy goals/expectations. I just want her to understand that we were not healthy on the inside, and not focus so much on the outside. It's not easy but I do know that in the end it is better for her. She will understand later and maybe even be thankful. But we have been 'fast food free' for almost two weeks and I think she is starting to accept the changes. Yesterday we didn't have any "normal" dinner food but she didn't want to shop...and when I expected her to say can we just eat out this once she said "I guess we can have eggs for dinner". So we went home and made scrammbled eggs (mixed whole and just whites) with some ham and a little 2% mozzerella, biscuits and watermelon. Not the most balance meal but not cheeseburgers and fries! And as she was finishing she said "if we keep eating like this, maybe we will lose a few pounds". I said maybe, but even if not, we are being healthier. but I think that is all I can offer based on my exp. Best of luck and stay strong.
PS ~ Her Dr. said that diets are not really recommended unless kids are obese...but try to let her grow into her weight. Like maintain the weight while they grow in height and it will even out.0 -
Both of my boys eat healthy - my oldest (10) is a little more of struggle as he likes his carbs! But other than that - they both eat raw fruits and veggies and regularly expand their palets. They love salad, raw carrots, my 7 year old LOVES frozen peas (I mean, right out of the freezer frozen!), apples, pears, pineapple - oddly, neither is particularly fond of bananas or strawberries.
My younger was a struggle for a short time as toddler - he LOVES noodles and he'd try to get out of eating his veggies in favor of his pastas. It got to a point that he would not get his noodles until AFTER he ate his meat and vegetables. It took being a little resiliant to get over the hump, but once he did it was all good.
See, the mistake that you all are making (and this isn't a judgement - it's an observation based on what you said in your posts) is that you're allowing the child be in absolute control... "My xxx year old won't eat if (s)he doesn't get blah blah blah..." Nonsense. They have you fooled and well trained, Moms!
If you let them get away with it, it will continue unchecked. For those of you who have older children where the habits are fairly ingrained at this point, a little more compromising will be needed rather than flat out telling. Offer sliced apples and peanut butter or honey and 8 oz glass of water - and AFTER that, THEN they can have the pizza rolls and soda, if they still want it. Or celery and cream cheese, etc.. have these things ready and prepared..... my kids will actually ask for these things by name or ask if they can prepare them themselves. For those of you that have kids 5 and younger - START NOW!! Put your foot down - no noodles, dessert, or chips until those fruits and veggies are eaten and NOT EVERY DAY!
One thing that really disturbs me is seeing little kids with colas... really? Seriously?? Why not just give 'em fully loaded coffee??? I'm dead serious. Soda has more sugar and caffeine than a typical (ie: weak.. lol) cup of coffee. I'm a coffee addict - I know the hazards and know I can counteract them if I choose - but these are CHILDREN - they don't get that caffeine is addictive (try explaining addiction to a 6 year old!) and dehydrating. So, mom's.. cut out the sugary drinks and if you must have the kool aid, cut the sugar down - ALOT or get "diet" brands. Keep the soda out. Once in a very great while is fine... by the way, sugar is addictive, too. Additionally, we CRAVE sugar when we're hungry. Take care of the appetite first and the desire for sweets goes down.
I am not one of those super great SAHM's or anything - in fact, my parenting skills leave alot to be desired in alot of ways... but eating healthy and balanced in my house (for my kids) is really just not a question. When my 10 year old comes home from dads, where he often has free access to carbs, fats and sugars, he's finally figured out that butter sandwiches at mom's is not going to happen. Having buttered bread with certain meals is one thing.. but you're not going to live on it. Not in my house.
When they were both little, something that helps was for them to have their own snack drawers/shelves that they could get whatever they wanted out of those places. In the fridge's snack drawer were fruits, cut veggies, cheese sticks and other healthful finger foods. In the pantry there were granola bars, trail mixes (many of which *also* have M&Ms), dried fruit, peanut butter, wheat crackers and things like that. Everything else requires assistance, permission or is not permitted before dinner.
Oh, and water. My kids don't get anything sweet to drink before they have a glass of water and they only get 1 glass of the sweet stuff. After that, it's water, milk or 100% juice. My 7 year old, as a result, is a water addict. If given the option of soda or water, of course he'll pick the soda.... but he doesn't complain when I put a stop to it and tell him he needs to have water from that point forward. He gets it. Doesn't mean he wont' drink 3 glasses of water and then ask for another cup of soda.. once in a while, I'll permit that.
It's all about developing the habits. As a result, I have NO guilt or much resistence to them having their ice cream, cookies, or occasional candy. I know they're eating right 95% of the time so I don't feel the need to deny them the goodies. I just watch how much and when they get it.
I really hope this helps some of you truly struggling. I'm happy to offer more if anyone wants it. :-)0 -
oops0
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"I have really tried to show my overweight 9 yr old how to make healthy choices, she is pretty active in gymnastics and dance. But she is steadily gaining weight. Her 2 best friends are overweight also and that doesnt help matters, because they are always together and their parents let them eat what they want."
I would not worry too much about your daughter. As long as she stays active and eats relatively well, she will grow into her weight. Children have a tendency to grow outward then upward- especially in the preteen years. Being active is a huge key. I would, however, limit time with friends (out of your home) if that involves mindless eating of total junk!
My 9, 23, 24, and 26 year olds eat pretty healthy- my 17 year old, not so much. I try to keep the house stocked with healthy choices, but sometimes it just comes down to trying to find something that they will actually eat.
thank you!! I have control of what she eats at home, it is at her friends house and school that I have not control over. She sees her friends getting and eating what they want, and thinks it is unfair that she cant get that too! and her friends parents just let them have whatever they want. You are right I do need to limit her time with them.0 -
I was hoping my niece would answer - she is doing great with her 7 and 5 yr old. Here are a few suggestions:
No fast food
Buy only healthy items to stock up your pantry and refrigerator
Get the kids involved in making yummy, healthy meals and TREATS
There are many recipes for home made sorbets, healthy sno-cones, cookies and cakes - here and on many other sites
Let the kids choose - if you only have healthy foods in the house - they will choose healthy
Don't make a big deal about eating something they don't like - they have to try everything but if they don't like it that's OK
Good luck!
We already do this, no junk in our house, very limited fast food and if we do it is grilled, no sodas! I only have water, gatorade and milk in my house!
Our issue isnt what to feed them, it is how to deal with the fact that she doesnt want to eat healthy and am I being a horrible mother for pushing it on her. should I just let her be herself even if it is unhealthy!
Thanks for you input!
I am perfectly fine with being the horriable mother that pushes it on them...a drastic comparission ...but if they are tempted to drink alchol I am also gonna be the horriable mother that pushes NO to that also.... There are lots of things in their life, I am going to have to be the horriable mom for and I think that this is just as equal to any of those when I think of all the pain that I have gone through, the feeling ugly, not good enough being made fun of depression unwelcome you name it if i can help save them from going down that road, and it means i'm a horriable mom to them so be it. Thats just me though0 -
WOw and thanks! again this is really not my problem, we only have healthy food in our house and we only drink water, milk and gatorade. Sodas are only on occasion as well as fast food. But I appreciate you taking the time to say all of this, because so many parents do struggle with giving their kids what they want....like my dtrs friends do!Both of my boys eat healthy - my oldest (10) is a little more of struggle as he likes his carbs! But other than that - they both eat raw fruits and veggies and regularly expand their palets. They love salad, raw carrots, my 7 year old LOVES frozen peas (I mean, right out of the freezer frozen!), apples, pears, pineapple - oddly, neither is particularly fond of bananas or strawberries.
My younger was a struggle for a short time as toddler - he LOVES noodles and he'd try to get out of eating his veggies in favor of his pastas. It got to a point that he would not get his noodles until AFTER he ate his meat and vegetables. It took being a little resiliant to get over the hump, but once he did it was all good.
See, the mistake that you all are making (and this isn't a judgement - it's an observation based on what you said in your posts) is that you're allowing the child be in absolute control... "My xxx year old won't eat if (s)he doesn't get blah blah blah..." Nonsense. They have you fooled and well trained, Moms!
If you let them get away with it, it will continue unchecked. For those of you who have older children where the habits are fairly ingrained at this point, a little more compromising will be needed rather than flat out telling. Offer sliced apples and peanut butter or honey and 8 oz glass of water - and AFTER that, THEN they can have the pizza rolls and soda, if they still want it. Or celery and cream cheese, etc.. have these things ready and prepared..... my kids will actually ask for these things by name or ask if they can prepare them themselves. For those of you that have kids 5 and younger - START NOW!! Put your foot down - no noodles, dessert, or chips until those fruits and veggies are eaten and NOT EVERY DAY!
One thing that really disturbs me is seeing little kids with colas... really? Seriously?? Why not just give 'em fully loaded coffee??? I'm dead serious. Soda has more sugar and caffeine than a typical (ie: weak.. lol) cup of coffee. I'm a coffee addict - I know the hazards and know I can counteract them if I choose - but these are CHILDREN - they don't get that caffeine is addictive (try explaining addiction to a 6 year old!) and dehydrating. So, mom's.. cut out the sugary drinks and if you must have the kool aid, cut the sugar down - ALOT or get "diet" brands. Keep the soda out. Once in a very great while is fine... by the way, sugar is addictive, too. Additionally, we CRAVE sugar when we're hungry. Take care of the appetite first and the desire for sweets goes down.
I am not one of those super great SAHM's or anything - in fact, my parenting skills leave alot to be desired in alot of ways... but eating healthy and balanced in my house (for my kids) is really just not a question. When my 10 year old comes home from dads, where he often has free access to carbs, fats and sugars, he's finally figured out that butter sandwiches at mom's is not going to happen. Having buttered bread with certain meals is one thing.. but you're not going to live on it. Not in my house.
When they were both little, something that helps was for them to have their own snack drawers/shelves that they could get whatever they wanted out of those places. In the fridge's snack drawer were fruits, cut veggies, cheese sticks and other healthful finger foods. In the pantry there were granola bars, trail mixes (many of which *also* have M&Ms), dried fruit, peanut butter, wheat crackers and things like that. Everything else requires assistance, permission or is not permitted before dinner.
Oh, and water. My kids don't get anything sweet to drink before they have a glass of water and they only get 1 glass of the sweet stuff. After that, it's water, milk or 100% juice. My 7 year old, as a result, is a water addict. If given the option of soda or water, of course he'll pick the soda.... but he doesn't complain when I put a stop to it and tell him he needs to have water from that point forward. He gets it. Doesn't mean he wont' drink 3 glasses of water and then ask for another cup of soda.. once in a while, I'll permit that.
It's all about developing the habits. As a result, I have NO guilt or much resistence to them having their ice cream, cookies, or occasional candy. I know they're eating right 95% of the time so I don't feel the need to deny them the goodies. I just watch how much and when they get it.
I really hope this helps some of you truly struggling. I'm happy to offer more if anyone wants it. :-)
THanks for so many post on this subject...I am having a hard time reading all of them!0 -
My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are very stressed by this issue. I have an 8 yo daughter. I also coach young girls (8-12 yo) through a program called Girls on the Run.
I believe it is super important to lead by example with our kids. You are taking great care of yourself and they are watching you. By your actions alone, you are showing them to do as I do not just as I say.
Once kids get older it also helps to have someone outside the home who is a positive role model spend time "showing" your children as well. Unfortunately, children reach an age where they will accept more information from someone who does not live with them. Have you considered enrolling your daughter in a program like Girls on the Run?
I am lucky that I have never had to make my daughter eat healthy. She just does. Because I know that she eats very healthy at home, I am ok with her eating things we don't eat when she is at a friends or at school. If she is eating healthy 80% of the time, I am happy with what I call the 80% rule.
Hope this helps. Pm me if you would like someone to talk to...
Thanks, I have not heard of Girls on the run before, but will check it out!0 -
I was hoping my niece would answer - she is doing great with her 7 and 5 yr old. Here are a few suggestions:
No fast food
Buy only healthy items to stock up your pantry and refrigerator
Get the kids involved in making yummy, healthy meals and TREATS
There are many recipes for home made sorbets, healthy sno-cones, cookies and cakes - here and on many other sites
Let the kids choose - if you only have healthy foods in the house - they will choose healthy
Don't make a big deal about eating something they don't like - they have to try everything but if they don't like it that's OK
Good luck!
We already do this, no junk in our house, very limited fast food and if we do it is grilled, no sodas! I only have water, gatorade and milk in my house!
Our issue isnt what to feed them, it is how to deal with the fact that she doesnt want to eat healthy and am I being a horrible mother for pushing it on her. should I just let her be herself even if it is unhealthy!
Thanks for you input!
I am perfectly fine with being the horriable mother that pushes it on them...a drastic comparission ...but if they are tempted to drink alchol I am also gonna be the horriable mother that pushes NO to that also.... There are lots of things in their life, I am going to have to be the horriable mom for and I think that this is just as equal to any of those when I think of all the pain that I have gone through, the feeling ugly, not good enough being made fun of depression unwelcome you name it if i can help save them from going down that road, and it means i'm a horriable mom to them so be it. Thats just me though
you are right....I need to be her parent first, friend second!0
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