Workplace derailment

Medic996
Medic996 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay, I am not going to get into too much detail about this but I want to know if I am over reacting or if I was justified in what I did.

Today there was a retirement party for one of our employees and I wanted to stop by and wish him a happy retirement and that he was going to be missed. While at the party the HR manager comes up to me and tells me to grab a plate and eat. I politely decline as the food they were having did not fit into my diet plan. As I was chatting with the newly retired employee the HR managers again in front of everyone tells me to grab a plate and eat. I decline again and ask her to please stop asking me. As I am walking out of the office the HR manager asks if I snapped at my manager as I snapped at her. I told her “I declined your offer for food once already, why would you ask me again. I am unable to eat the types of food you were serving.” She rolled her eyes at me and went back to typing on her computer.

So the situation that she put me in made me feel really uncomfortable to the point where I left the lunch room (where the party was being held) to go back to work. It’s hard enough to stay with my diet program without having someone try and push junk food on me.

So am I over reacting?

Replies

  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Okay, I am not going to get into too much detail about this but I want to know if I am over reacting or if I was justified in what I did.

    Today there was a retirement party for one of our employees and I wanted to stop by and wish him a happy retirement and that he was going to be missed. While at the party the HR manager comes up to me and tells me to grab a plate and eat. I politely decline as the food they were having did not fit into my diet plan. As I was chatting with the newly retired employee the HR managers again in front of everyone tells me to grab a plate and eat. I decline again and ask her to please stop asking me. As I am walking out of the office the HR manager asks if I snapped at my manager as I snapped at her. I told her “I declined your offer for food once already, why would you ask me again. I am unable to eat the types of food you were serving.” She rolled her eyes at me and went back to typing on her computer.


    So the situation that she put me in made me feel really uncomfortable to the point where I left the lunch room (where the party was being held) to go back to work. It’s hard enough to stay with my diet program without having someone try and push junk food on me.

    So am I over reacting?



    Yes. :noway: And apparently 'dieting' makes you crabby too.
  • Astacia74
    Astacia74 Posts: 166 Member
    As an HR professional, I think you dealt with the situation very well. Seems to me, your HR manager needs to learn how to take no for an answer and, also, some discretion. :ohwell:
  • sakassab
    sakassab Posts: 34 Member
    definitely not.

    I know its hard to stay focused especially if everyone else is enjoying those types of foods! I am a waitress and I have to sit there and smell all the delicious foods and everything that I used to and still do love! but I'm trying my hardest to look the other way!

    but, I can't even lie that I do have to cheat every now and then! :P
  • SnicciFit
    SnicciFit Posts: 967 Member
    I get junk food pushed on me all the time at work. I also get snide remarks about my "diet"...etc. Sometimes, I snap too. People don't know enough to leave you alone.
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
    Why is it that HR reps are always the most catty, obnoxious people at the company. I've been at SEVERAL companies where this was the case. And I mean legit HR, and not like...talent acquisition types. Anyhow...
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Sometimes is just easier to say "thank you" and then eat, drink or don't but its way easier to deal with food pushers this way in my experience of weight loss.
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
    IMO, yes, you are over reacting.

    I don't even know how many times I turn down food from the same people each day. "No, I'm not hungry. Thanks for offering." Other people don't usually think about your eating habits as much as you do. Most of the time, they don't even remember that they offered you food in the first place. They just see you without food and suggest you get some. We have a culture based around food for each celebration so people equate food with celebrating and many people want to make sure that you are enjoying yourself (which for many equals eating).

    NBD. I don't know how many times a day I say "No, thanks" to food and if people seem super concerned, I tell them that I have food in my purse or ready for me to cook elsewhere.
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
    And in answer to your question...food is really personal. Some people dont realize that and insist on making it their business.

    I do think that you might have handled it better. You were probably annoyed and uncomfortable about it, but you should have maybe taken that up with her another time. If it were me, I would have just politely declined again. Even if you were justified, your response could come off as rude. The whole "do you snap at your manager..." bit was over the top, but you opened that door.

    I'm not trying to put this on you. I'm just trying to give you some useful advice, because we can't change other people. We can, however, adjust our own actions to avoid a repeat.
  • britkip
    britkip Posts: 49
    I think you did the right thing. I hate it so much when people try to force me to eat food that I don't want to eat. I just want to scream at them IF I"M HUNGRY I WILL EAT!!!! LoL
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    No that person should not have pushed the food onto you. Its hard enough to not grab a plate on your own, but when someone is telling you several times to get food I would probably have snapped too! Try to look at it from their perspective though, maybe they were just trying to share some of the good food and didn't realize that it is hard for you to say no sometimes. They should try to put themselves in your shoes also and realize that yeah it is hard to diet/lifestyle change whatever you wanna call it.
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
    I have had these types of situations occur and I have HAD to snap at some people to make them stop asking. I used to just avoid all parties and anything like this type of situation but why should I have to just because I am trying to lose weight? These people that just don't let up should be snapped on every once and a while :) I would have handled it just as you did,
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    IMO, not really. I think you handled it OK. I probably wouldn't have added on the "and please stop asking me" part, but that's just me. I'll say no over and over and over... If they want to keep asking me, then I guess there's nothing to stop them. There's also nothing to stop me from saying no if I really don't want it.

    Also, beware... you're probably slammed for not just eating. A lot of folks seem to think that saying "no" when you don't want something that's offered to you somehow makes you a bad person.
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
    As an HR professional, I think you dealt with the situation very well. Seems to me, your HR manager needs to learn how to take no for an answer and, also, some discretion. :ohwell:

    As an HR professional myself, I think the OP did overreact a little, people offer food out of politeness not to be some kind fat pusher, I would imagine she thought you said no out of courtesy yourself. That said, the comment made about snapping at her supervisor was in poor taste.
    Why is it that HR reps are always the most catty, obnoxious people at the company. I've been at SEVERAL companies where this was the case. And I mean legit HR, and not like...talent acquisition types. Anyhow...

    You get major brownie points for seperating the two... hee hee. Sorry to hear you've delt with crappy HR staff. I've been fortunate that has never been the case for me.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    Why is it that HR reps are always the most catty, obnoxious people at the company. I've been at SEVERAL companies where this was the case. And I mean legit HR, and not like...talent acquisition types. Anyhow...

    Couldnt agree more. I have seen this a number of times with HR people. They think they can say anything but everyone else has to toe the line.
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    I don't know if this would fit in with your personality, but I've been described as 'quite laid back' before - I get around it by smiling and saying 'thanks, I will in a bit.', and let them think that I'm going to join in, but then just delay it each time I'm asked. And if they bring something to me, I say 'thank you, that was very kind of you' and then discreetly set it down to continue my conversation.

    Smiling all the time.



    Of course, behind the laid back persona, the truth is that I am screwing with people's heads for fun. Serves them right for constantly shoving food at me. I have family like it - some behave as though they're mortally wounded if you don't instantly inhale about 4000000000000000000 calories of crap. But even they can be diverted by the 'that's soooo sweet of you'.


    Evil genius, me.
  • Medic996
    Medic996 Posts: 14 Member
    Wow kind of a mix bag of results. One of the things I should mention is that we don’t run a large office and I wouldn’t had been as quick to ask her to stop asking me if it wasn’t that she asked me again not more than 5 minutes prior to asking me again but I get what some of you are trying to say. I know she was just trying to be polite, guess I was just a little upset. The other day she had mention this retirement party to me I had told her that I was not going to be able to eat because of my dietary restrictions and the matter was sensitive to me ( my partner at work is the only one that knows that I am dieting ). But I guess I could have come across a little crappy to her but I felt that I should not have to say no over and over again to the same person or have to explain my dietary restrictions.

    In any case, thanks to everyone that gave their input I really appreciate it. It's good to have some outside perspective.
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
    NO I think you did not overreact. As a matter of fact I would file a complaint because of unprofessional behavior. But I am a ***** sometimes. When in a position like HR they need to more aware of ediquette and professionalism than others.
  • idolon
    idolon Posts: 12 Member
    I've been a vegetarian for years, and when there's going to be food served at work, I just seek out the person who is ordering/arranging it and say, "By the way, I have some dietary concerns. Would you mind getting something I can eat that fits that criteria?" They're usually happy to oblige if you ask nicely and before hand. And at this point the admin assistant who almost always orders the food actually goes out of her way to order things I can eat, which even makes surprise lunches work out for me.

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