Sabotage and flatulence

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Cr01502
Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
in Chit-Chat
There are people really making me mad at my work. I work in an office btw. The way I have chosen to deal with them is to eat food that gives me very bad gas and to make them sit through it. I already consume alot of broccoli and eggs but I think they're getting used to it.

Are there other things I should include in my diet to make my flatulence more frequent and intolerable?
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Replies

  • DrBentonQuest
    DrBentonQuest Posts: 151
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    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Warm Dr Pepper
  • Penny_Lane_
    Penny_Lane_ Posts: 163
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    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

    Hahaha
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
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    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

    this is genius...
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    Include lots of fiber and beans into your diet. That stuff will make sure you're gassy all day long. I think you need to get out of SBD mode and just shift towards full on earth shaking flatulence.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    Eat tacos.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    Beef jerky.
  • jasonp_ritzert
    jasonp_ritzert Posts: 357 Member
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    Try sugar-free candies/chocolates. The amount of sugar alcohol in it gives a lot of people bad gas.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

    Hmmm . . . this is interesting . . . do you have any suggestions on how to obtain this underwear? We don't have a work locker room or anything of that nature so it might be a bit difficult.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Eat tacos.

    Creepy FR on it's way!!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    Protein shakes made with milk. Some people have trouble with Fiber One bars, so you could do a shake and a bar. Expired milk is even better.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Include lots of fiber and beans into your diet. That stuff will make sure you're gassy all day long. I think you need to get out of SBD mode and just shift towards full on earth shaking flatulence.

    Thank you. That is what I'm trying to accomplish with this topic.

    I've been doing well but I'm still, very much, batting in the minor league's so to speak.

    Is there anyone out there that can't help me kick it up a notch.

    Currently I flatulate about 17 times a day.

    Usually their moist and stinky. I don't count the dry ones.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,723 Member
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    There are people really making me mad at my work. I work in an office btw. The way I have chosen to deal with them is to eat food that gives me very bad gas and to make them sit through it. I already consume alot of broccoli and eggs but I think they're getting used to it.

    Are there other things I should include in my diet to make my flatulence more frequent and intolerable?

    HArd boil the eggs. Extra stinky egg farts.
  • amandammmq
    amandammmq Posts: 394 Member
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    Slightly spoiled food ought to do the trick.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

    Hmmm . . . this is interesting . . . do you have any suggestions on how to obtain this underwear? We don't have a work locker room or anything of that nature so it might be a bit difficult.

    HEY, no room here for whiners! I you're going to commit to this revenge plan you're going to have to go all the way. And I mean ALL the way. You want this revenge or not?
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    Beer and deviled eggs. You'll be crop dusting in no time.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Slightly spoiled food ought to do the trick.

    Thank you for the suggestion.

    I'm a little worried about getting sick doing that though.

    I really can't miss anymore time off of work.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    Usually their moist and stinky. I don't count the dry ones.

    The dry ones score big points just for intimidation alone. It doesn't even have to smell to make people run from the room screaming like kids in a candy store.
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
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    Eat lots of asparagus and drink tons of coffee. Make sure not to flush so the rest room smells too. Or pee in the sink, make sure the stopper is doing it's job. Or pee in the kitchen sink.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I'm not sure I can support peeing in the kitchen sink....

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