Snide comments?
Jocmc631942
Posts: 22 Member
Once you started to loose weight and people started to notice, did you get any snide comments? Well, I have two relatives (not husband) who is making snide remarks.... things like "I don't have to exercise to loose weight"...." so glad I wear pretty clothes again"...
Now I have not told anyone that I am loosing weight, dieting or exercising. Not even posted anything on face book or anything yet. But I know the weight loss is starting to show and other friends are saying "wow you look good, you've lost a few pounds...keep it up"
How do you deal with the snide comments? Maybe I am just being touchy, because I have not told them, so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?
Now I have not told anyone that I am loosing weight, dieting or exercising. Not even posted anything on face book or anything yet. But I know the weight loss is starting to show and other friends are saying "wow you look good, you've lost a few pounds...keep it up"
How do you deal with the snide comments? Maybe I am just being touchy, because I have not told them, so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?
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Replies
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I am not getting "snide" from either of those comments.0
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I find it really helps to assume other people are doing the best that they can and respond with as much kindness as possible. Don't get defensive. A lot of times, the snide tone that you think you hear was not intended. And if it WAS intended, there's nothing quite as disarming as replying kindly. It can be a simple as a smile.0
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I didn't tell my family that I was eating healthy and exercising- my mother told me I looked sick and unhealthy. (FYI- No one else thinks that at all- I am 5"5" and 138ish). When I told her no, I am watching what I am eating and working out (now that my ankle has healed) she stated that if I lost any more I would look terrible. I once again told her no, I have a dietation friend that I talk to and my doctor is very pleased. You'd think that family of all people would be happy for you- guess not. I'm not sure why she thinks that, she couldn't tell me other than she thinks I look too skinny.0
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One of the comments "I am glad I can wear pretty clothes" Its on the tone of voice and the eye roll that came with it.
Other comments are from the same person to another person on face book and I might be reading more into it because I am trying to hard and because they did mean that first comment to be mean.
She also wrote how grandmas funeral was going to be miserable because none of her clothes fit..... which I don't thing has anything to do the funeral and shouldn't be said.
But I am emotional right now to so I am biting my tongue so I don't regret saying things later.0 -
people say whatever they want when they are family or friends and assume it's okay... stand up for yourself if you don't like it, or they will never know to stop (easier said than done)0
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If they truly are being snide (and this is impossible to tell w/o knowing your history with them, the tone, inflection, etc.) and you act like they are being genuine and you respond in a positive friendly way, it will REALLY pi$$ 'em off that you don't feel stabbed........0
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This is a very insensitive thing to say, I'm really sorry for your lossShe also wrote how grandmas funeral was going to be miserable because none of her clothes fit..... which I don't thing has anything to do the funeral and shouldn't be said.
Ignore her if you can, some people are just rude!0 -
I think you're being overly sensitive.0
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I don't think the comments are meant the way you are taking them. But even if they are, who cares. This is about you.0
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Snide comments are generated from those who by looking at you, realize that they need to change.
It is a self defense mechanism that allows them to feel good about themselves when they are around people who are making changes (in this case, you!).
Ignore them, they are projecting their own lack of confidence in themselves on you.
Surround yourself with positive people and let these others fall to the way side.0 -
just let it be water of a ducks back! They might be jealous or annoyed that they cant drop a few lbs or maybe they mean it nicely just have no tact lol well done on you and keep it up0
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Don't count on it. I hate to say it but, most people probably don't care.so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?0 -
Don't count on it. I hate to say it but, most people probably don't care.so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?
Good point.0 -
One of the comments "I am glad I can wear pretty clothes" Its on the tone of voice and the eye roll that came with it.
Other comments are from the same person to another person on face book and I might be reading more into it because I am trying to hard and because they did mean that first comment to be mean.
She also wrote how grandmas funeral was going to be miserable because none of her clothes fit..... which I don't thing has anything to do the funeral and shouldn't be said.
But I am emotional right now to so I am biting my tongue so I don't regret saying things later.
I didn't see this before my comment.
Just take a deep breath. Everyone gets crazy when a loved one dies. People lash out at each other to try to avoid feeling the pain of the loss. If this family member isn't a comfort to you right now, then just avoid her. She's really letting her jealousy show right now, and honestly, there really isn't anything you can do to make her feel better.0 -
Guess I can add ignoring it, letting it slide and not taking it personally to my goal list. :blushing:
Thanks for the input everyone.0 -
Guess I can add ignoring it, letting it slide and not taking it personally to my goal list. :blushing:
Thanks for the input everyone.
If it continues past a significant period for grieving, then you might consider confronting this family member, but I wouldn't suggest doing it right now while everyone is grieving. That will just cause drama.0 -
I have in laws (sisters) who have been saying things to me for 25 years. For the first 10 years it really bothered me. I stepped back and tried to understand where their comments were coming from. It's their issue not mine. I now let it go. Don't feed in to their mess and you will be a whole lot happier...
Oh and on a side note. It's lose not loose. Loose is what your pants are when you lose a lot of weight.
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People who make snide comments are usually either jealous, or trying to build themselves up by putting someone else down - either way, they are the one with the problem!! As someone else suggested, if they are trying to get at you, the best reaction is to not be got. And double that by looking fabulous
I know what it is like to be over sensitive and assume the worst, while this is often not the case.
So assume it wasn't about you ("it is none of your business what other people think of you") and keep up the good work!
Go girl! :flowerforyou:0 -
I fully believe that mean comments have more to do with the person saying them than they do with the person they are directed at. They are feeling inadequate, jealous, lousy, ect-and need to boost their pride by comparing themselves to somebody else.
It sucks-I think we've all dealt with it. Just keep your head up high and keep on your journey. You are stronger than they are!0 -
Once you started to loose weight and people started to notice, did you get any snide comments? Well, I have two relatives (not husband) who is making snide remarks.... things like "I don't have to exercise to loose weight"...." so glad I wear pretty clothes again"...
Now I have not told anyone that I am loosing weight, dieting or exercising. Not even posted anything on face book or anything yet. But I know the weight loss is starting to show and other friends are saying "wow you look good, you've lost a few pounds...keep it up"
How do you deal with the snide comments? Maybe I am just being touchy, because I have not told them, so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?
Haters! Jealous people, thats all. Ignore them.0 -
I find it really helps to assume other people are doing the best that they can and respond with as much kindness as possible. Don't get defensive. A lot of times, the snide tone that you think you hear was not intended. And if it WAS intended, there's nothing quite as disarming as replying kindly. It can be a simple as a smile.
Perfectly said.
I'm so sorry for your loss.0 -
Once you started to loose weight and people started to notice, did you get any snide comments? Well, I have two relatives (not husband) who is making snide remarks.... things like "I don't have to exercise to loose weight"...." so glad I wear pretty clothes again"...
Now I have not told anyone that I am loosing weight, dieting or exercising. Not even posted anything on face book or anything yet. But I know the weight loss is starting to show and other friends are saying "wow you look good, you've lost a few pounds...keep it up"
How do you deal with the snide comments? Maybe I am just being touchy, because I have not told them, so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?
I love the backhanded compliment, "You look so much better now."
Gee, thanks *kitten*.0 -
I took my mother-in-law to lunch at Ruby Tuesday on Sunday, so when I "checked in" on Facebook, someone commented, "how can you eat at a restaurant if you're trying to lose weight". I probably over-reacted to it, but he made it sound like I had no self control. I love that restaurants have low calories menu items now.
Just remember, haters gonna hate, and you're gonna look great 0 -
I don't take snide comment personal its not a reflection of you its their own insecurities0
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As others have said, anyone who makes comments which makes people feel bad about losing weight, it's more about themselves and how they feel about their own weight which drives them to say these things. They are just annoyed that you have successfully lost weight and they aren't doing as well as you. Take it as a compliment .
What I find equally as annoying as snide comments is when you have lost weight and it is noticeable to anyone who hasn't seen you in ages, but they don't say anything. Would it hurt for them to say something to show they notice? I know this is a bit of a grey area and people aren't sure if they should say anything in case it's taken the wrong way and you think they are implying you were big before, but it is frustrating when you haven't seen someone in ages and they don't say a thing when you have visibly lost weight.
(steps off soap box ) 0 -
I have lost 28 lbs. Eating healthy and exercising. I see muscles now! But my family and coworkers are saying I look sickly and frail! What? Are you nuts? I am feeling strong and confident!!!
Oh, and yes egwene. I love the low cal menu items! Now that's a treat to eat good when I go out too!!!!0 -
Snide comments are generated from those who by looking at you, realize that they need to change.
It is a self defense mechanism that allows them to feel good about themselves when they are around people who are making changes (in this case, you!).
Ignore them, they are projecting their own lack of confidence in themselves on you.
Surround yourself with positive people and let these others fall to the way side.
This really hit home for me. Thank you for posting this because I didn't look at it that way.
Lots of backhanded compliments coming my way these days, so OP I do get where you're coming from! I just tell myself that they mean well, they're just kind of dense. LOL Keep smiling! You know you look awesome so work it! 0 -
It's hard not to be sensitive to what you deem are snide comments. My entire life I'd always heard, "you're too heavy", "it's not healthy to be fat", "you should get in shape". I took control of my food intake/exercise 3 yrs ago & in that time lost 100 lbs the healthy way, no diets/surgery or weight loss gimmicks. I'm 5'9" & weighed 250lbs when I started. I'm now 150lbs, which is right in the middle of the weight range for my height/build. I've never felt better & I'm proud of myself. Guess what I hear now, "you look good, but don't lose anymore", "oh come on, you can have a burger & fries", "you're making me look bad, you're taking the stairs". At first I took the comments personally, now I just think to myself, I'm winning & how I feel is all that matters. 0
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I slap them.0
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It always surprises me how hard people work to be offended...0
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