Sabotage and flatulence

2

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    Brussel Sprouts - like a Belgian freight train through your lower intestines.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I used to eat smoked oysters in the office and hide the empty tin in a trash can near a person that annoyed me.

    Had them sniffing around and digging through trash cans in the afternoon.

    Haha.

    This is awesome. I might have to incorporate this into my routine.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Schlitz beer and pickled eggs....go to the dirtiest bar you can find tonight...
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member
    Down some antibiotics, also remove all "natural" yogurt, and cheese from your diet.

    The antibiotics will kill some of the good flora in your GI tract that help you break down food. Then consume beans, broccoli, apples, eggs. Your food will be harder to digest, start to decompose and sulfur will be produced. Also eat with your mouth open and quickly to swallow more air and increase the gas passing.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    gif.gif

    Also, some really hoppy beers. Like IPA's and the like. They give you the good and hot SBDs.
  • Zalovar
    Zalovar Posts: 92 Member
    Cabbage!

    Also, this article might help:

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/324448-foods-that-produce-flatulence/

    Good luck
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
    This thread is awesome.

    Wear some thinner material pants and go commando. Press against a wall or chair when you have to go to make it vibrate and give some great acoustics.

    Just be careful not to gamble and lose. I don't think you want to sabotage yourself in your great journey.
  • Cassierocksalot
    Cassierocksalot Posts: 266 Member
    I second the Fiber One Bars. I enjoy everyone in my surrounding cubicle areas so I make it a point to only eat these at home...right before bed. My husband LOVES it :devil:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Kashi Go lean Crunch cereal. You will become a motorboat.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    This thread is awesome.

    Wear some thinner material pants and go commando. Press against a wall or chair when you have to go to make it vibrate and give some great acoustics.

    Just be careful not to gamble and lose. I don't think you want to sabotage yourself in your great journey.

    Good thought. All of these suggestions must assume a working lump detector.
  • janatarnhem
    janatarnhem Posts: 669 Member
    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.


    I am shamelessly going to use this comment, or something similar - hilarious!
  • InnerConflict
    InnerConflict Posts: 1,592 Member
    Gyro with extra sauce
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    Include lots of fiber and beans into your diet. That stuff will make sure you're gassy all day long. I think you need to get out of SBD mode and just shift towards full on earth shaking flatulence.

    Thank you. That is what I'm trying to accomplish with this topic.

    I've been doing well but I'm still, very much, batting in the minor league's so to speak.

    Is there anyone out there that can't help me kick it up a notch.

    Currently I flatulate about 17 times a day.

    Usually their moist and stinky. I don't count the dry ones.


    I would have never thought to count them... :drinker:
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

    ^^Never piss off DrBentonQuest ^^ lol
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    This thread is awesome.

    Wear some thinner material pants and go commando. Press against a wall or chair when you have to go to make it vibrate and give some great acoustics.

    Just be careful not to gamble and lose. I don't think you want to sabotage yourself in your great journey.

    Thanks.

    I've tried the thinner pants and going commando and while it does improve acoustics I've found that it also produces an undesired side effect. The problem is that my pants then become my 'underwear' and after 17 flatulas a day it can become quite messy.

    :embarassed:
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
    You know, Fiber One bars never did it for me. o.o
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    the silent killer.

    kyle-farting-smiley-emoticon.gif

    fart_swimming-300x267.jpg

    farting-in-group-smiley-emoticon.gif
  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
    Everyone has said what I was thinking.....

    cabbage, black beans, pinto beans, fiber one bars
    spicy food etc


    Best. thread. ever
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    I'm not sure I can support peeing in the kitchen sink....


    Agree. This crosses a line.
  • emily356
    emily356 Posts: 318 Member
    Kashi Go lean Crunch cereal. You will become a motorboat.

    I bought this once. I vowed to finish the box cause it was so expensive. NEVER AGAIN!!!! I have never eaten anything in my life that did to me what this cereal did!!!! :sick: :laugh:
  • ellycope
    ellycope Posts: 80 Member
    Peggy Seeger's song 'It's a free world' actually gives you a full menu plan for getting the kind of results you want...
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
    My husband says he levels the office after eating my spaghetti sauce.... the trick is an ever amount of garlic!
  • VoodooLuLu
    VoodooLuLu Posts: 636 Member
    1.kidney beans from a can don't rinse them either just cook or just put it in a salad cold
    2. sauerkraut
    3. raw onions and raw garlic...
    4. fish

    that's all I can think of for now!!! good luck!!! :flowerforyou:
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    Eat tacos.

    I like what you are thinking! :)
  • caterpillardreams
    caterpillardreams Posts: 476 Member
    Beans Beans Beans.
    They will make you fart and they are nutritious too. Yumm.
  • BrainsOnGains
    BrainsOnGains Posts: 282 Member
    I should ship you some White Castle sliders... it will melt your anal hairs and will burn their eyes.
  • juliana813
    juliana813 Posts: 67 Member
    BROCCOLI GIVES YOU GAS?! IS THAT WHY
    OH GOD
    I'VE HAD SO MUCH BROCCOLI RECENTLY
    IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
  • marcia724
    marcia724 Posts: 180 Member
    I think...YOU are awesome for this.

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