Bad Idea

MagicalLeopleurodon
MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I have Zombies, Run! on my phone. love it. havent played in months due to weather.

So i strap on my snazzy armband and my snazzy hrm. I put in my biohazard earbuds.

Its gorgeous today, and my fat dogs looked bored. "Theyre fat dogs. Not like we'll get past a jog."
So on go the leashes. Green for shepherd husky Parker. Pink for shepherd husky Harley Quinn. Black for pitbull curr Rogue.

I hit START MISSION and open the door. Green leaves, blue sky. Aahhhhhh.

We walk and they potty. The voice overs speak. The dogs wag their tails. Life is good.

Then the first ZOMBIES:100 METERS kicks on. Groans. HORROR.
So i start to jog. Rogue decides she wants to keep walking and cranks my left arm behind my back-refusing to go faster. Parker trots like a buggy horse directly beside me before planting his feet DEAD to pee. Harley loses her bleeding mind and rockets forwatd, backward, and side to side-chomping every flipping stick and blade of grass possible at a sprint.

We finally regulate, with Rogue begrudglingly trotting 100000 feet behind us, Parker so close he cant think of peeing, and Harley phasing between lunging forward and walking. ZOMBIES EVADED.

My heart rate is maxed and im sucking wind (upper body workout?).

We resume walking. Minutes later WARNING ZOMBIES 100 METERS.

by the fifth zombie attack, i have been deadlegged, tripped, yanked, dragged, dislocated, and peed on.

The zombies won.

And my dogs are on their own during the apocalypse.
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Replies

  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    Thanks for the LOL.
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
    What's the actual name of that game?
  • Twilightsunflower
    Twilightsunflower Posts: 324 Member
    laughing so hard im almost crying
  • jamaicanlady
    jamaicanlady Posts: 878 Member
    LOVE this. You're a great writer.
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    What's the actual name of that game?
    Zombies, Run!

    the icon on mine is a black and red box wiith hands reaching up to a running guy.
  • tpittsley77
    tpittsley77 Posts: 607 Member
    Haha thanks for the laugh! Sorry the zombies won tho!
  • Melo1966
    Melo1966 Posts: 881 Member
    Wow I can't imagine trying it with 3 dogs the invisible zombies are going to eat you and them everytime. Now if only the dogs could see the zombies you make have a chance for survival.
  • macjenkins
    macjenkins Posts: 62 Member
    Got to try this app. It's sounds hilarious!
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    HAHAHA....

    This is great...also a reason why if I take the pups for a run it is only at Shelby Farms Dog Park...then I don't have to worry about the deadlegged, tripped, peed on, yanked, and face planted me...oh wait..I have a Blue Heeler that always decides I am not running fast enough so jumps and pushes my butt to go faster.....

    But in the end, she is one of my biggest fans so it just makes me smile.
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
    ugh! freakin dogs!! LOL that was funny though...
  • hkmurphy83
    hkmurphy83 Posts: 262 Member
    OMG!! I was laughing so hard, tears started rolling! Thank you for the great laugh. You are an entertaining writer!
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
    Establish yourself as the pack leader, and it will solve the problem =)
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    HAHAHA....

    This is great...also a reason why if I take the pups for a run it is only at Shelby Farms Dog Park...then I don't have to worry about the deadlegged, tripped, peed on, yanked, and face planted me...oh wait..I have a Blue Heeler that always decides I am not running fast enough so jumps and pushes my butt to go faster.....

    But in the end, she is one of my biggest fans so it just makes me smile.

    i adore my dogs-but towards the end i was wondering if its abusive to tie them all together so they will all drag the same direction! my neighbors think im insane, i was yelling at my dogs, "I SWEAR I WILL ROAST YOUR LEGS IN A REAL ZOMBIE APOCSLYPSE!"
  • MorganLeighRN
    MorganLeighRN Posts: 411 Member
    Haha! Bad idea, GREAT story!!
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    Establish yourself as the pack leader, and it will solve the problem =)
    i should introduce you to my dogs....they own this house and we all know it ;) (except the cats. shhh....dont tell them, ill get in trouble!)
  • christy3565
    christy3565 Posts: 349
    This is great!! I laughed so loud in my cubicle I had a coworker peek around to see what was up. Thanks for the laugh!!
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
    Literally laughing out loud, too funny!
  • TurtleRunnerNC
    TurtleRunnerNC Posts: 751 Member
    Thanks for the chuckle!
  • mdraper60
    mdraper60 Posts: 101 Member
    Thank you for the laugh! I am sure my office neighbours are wondering if I've lost it! I must try this app on my phone!!!
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    hehe i love that app
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
    What's the actual name of that game?
    Zombies, Run!

    the icon on mine is a black and red box wiith hands reaching up to a running guy.

    Thank you! Maybe that'll motivate me to run, lol.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,415 Member
    Hahaha. I was using that app to jog home from work when I saw a weird Zombie photo shoot going on in the local park. First time EVER, RUNNER 5 CHASED DOWN A ZOMBIE FOR A HUG. Got my picture taken for posterity. Really wish I'd had a bottle of water and a pack of underpants for the photo...
  • Jan8591
    Jan8591 Posts: 4
    That was a terrific story. What fun!! :happy:
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    in all seriousness folks, the app is a blast (sans dogs. its pretty terrible with dogs.)
    i think it cost $8.99? ive had it over a year and havent beaten it yet-you can replay missions and never get bored. you automatically grab supplies as you go and can use them to build a base when you get done running-so theres gameplay even after you stop working out. its like an audiobook that youre the star of.

    but you will look over your shoulder like zombies are really chasing you (the groaning gets louder as they get closer). you dont need to be an avid runner, 20% faster than whatever your walk was is all ot takes to escape and you can pause it.

    if youre like my mom and nearly get caught-you will cry (if they catch.you-all your suupplies get dropped) and beg a nearby person to take your phone and outrun them (run with an ex track person, just on case).
  • cynthiadmail
    cynthiadmail Posts: 90 Member
    Totally why I let someone else walk the dog.. Loved this story. Two Thumbs up to ya for your get up and go even with the dogs. :smile:
  • Kittenopolis
    Kittenopolis Posts: 26 Member
    i adore my dogs-but towards the end i was wondering if its abusive to tie them all together so they will all drag the same direction! my neighbors think im insane, i was yelling at my dogs, "I SWEAR I WILL ROAST YOUR LEGS IN A REAL ZOMBIE APOCSLYPSE!"

    alwp

    Also, this is something I would TOTALLY yell at any given pet/person/friend/family member/etc in frustration over basically anything ever. <3
  • zhvah18
    zhvah18 Posts: 158 Member
    Haha! Great story. BTW I LOVE your dogs names!
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    I have a life size zombie girl that follows you ( the lil girl from walking dead season 1) you can borrow her to get your dogs moving I know she sure makes my dog scram lol
  • Dr_Waffles
    Dr_Waffles Posts: 141 Member
    This is exactly why we never see dogs in zombie shows. Nor do we ever see zombie dogs.
  • CarmenSantiago
    CarmenSantiago Posts: 681 Member
    Great read. You are a brilliant writer. I'm afraid the zombies would be munching on me for a long time. I would never outrun a slow *kitten*, dead, half blind, zombie.


    You had me in tears! ????

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