I have had ENOUGH (binge-eating)
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There is a physiological reason why you binge eat. It is not psychological, but biochemical. The depression comes from the same biochemical imbalance. Take a look at radiantrecovery.com and see what you think. It helped me tremendously.0
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I like the statement "I am doing it for my self, no one else matters." I believe this, because one taste dose matter, at least for me. If I take that one taste, I just as well eat the whole thing. That's a trigger, one taste. I am starting on my third day of no sugar, its hard!!!!! But voicing my opinion hopefully will help.
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Have you ever thought about you may have a gluten intolerance? I gave up gluten about year ago and it really changed my life. Before I was always depressed, binge ate all the time, and my health was in the toilet. The big thing that makes me think you may not be gluten intolerant is that your weight is so normal, mine was not (long time process, but I'm down from almost 350 lbs!). However, the depression from wheat heavy foods makes me think that you may have at least a sensitivity. Everyone's body responds differently to food. I would go with your gut, if you think these foods are harming you, give them up. There is nothing wrong with that. Good luck!0
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I'm always honest with my boyfriend - I've told him the amount and types of food I can eat in one sitting - I tell him nearly every time (after, of course) I binge. He comforts me, but looks a bit lost whenever I tell him these things. I do not want him to have to be responsible for me, or anything like that. This is MY problem, not his. But whenever I tell him 'I just can't eat that without going overboard' he almost gets angry. It's like I'm telling him that HE can't eat it (to which I always reply, he can eat whatever the hell he wants! I'm just particularly food sensitive and some things trigger me off!) All in all, whenever I approach abstinence, he never exactly takes it well.
I've tried abstinence a few (twice?) times before, but always get off on the wrong foot when I allow myself 'cheats'. Like, I've tried abstaining from sugary things APART from on birthdays, holidays and special events - but then before I know it, I start to think of simple things, like a friend coming over for tea, as a 'special event.' Before I know it, I'm back to the binge.
Just got to be strong and make myself clear I guess!0 -
Have you ever thought about you may have a gluten intolerance? I gave up gluten about year ago and it really changed my life. Before I was always depressed, binge ate all the time, and my health was in the toilet. The big thing that makes me think you may not be gluten intolerant is that your weight is so normal, mine was not (long time process, but I'm down from almost 350 lbs!). However, the depression from wheat heavy foods makes me think that you may have at least a sensitivity. Everyone's body responds differently to food. I would go with your gut, if you think these foods are harming you, give them up. There is nothing wrong with that. Good luck!
I don't think I'm gluten intolerant (believe me, I can eat a TONNE of bread and suffer nothing but a bloated stomach, obviously) but I do believe that an excess of carbohydrates might not help my binge eating. I've read a lot about carbohydrates effecting insulin (drops in blood sugar, making you crave more, etc) so I've been trying to keep my carbohydrates down to a mid-level recently. It's early days.0 -
Maybe, just maybe, you can talk with your boyfriend about giving away most of his delicious baking. Whether he realizes it or not, he's in denial about how much of a problem you feel you have. If he just HAS to bake, he needs to not leave it for you to handle! It would be a nice gesture to show that even if he doesn't quite understand; he still needs to do this for you. Meanwhile, keep busy, keep away from the triggers. Many of us know how hard it is to resist when it's right there in front of you. If you don't see (and smell) it, there's not a problem.0
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If you are binging and not gaining, you might need to increase how much you eat. I mean, if you do not gain weight after eating all that food, you really just might not be eating enough and it is making those binges much worse. It's just something to think about.
It is a bit of a conundrum - I do count myself as VERY lucky to have not become overweight. If you looked at my weekly intake including binges, you wouldn't believe you were looking at the food diary of a healthy-weight individual.
I have taken this into consideration though. I'm lucky enough (I think) to have a high metabolism, so I think it is important for me to eat enough calories. I try to stick to 1600 at the very minimum, but not over 2000.0 -
Maybe, just maybe, you can talk with your boyfriend about giving away most of his delicious baking. Whether he realizes it or not, he's in denial about how much of a problem you feel you have. If he just HAS to bake, he needs to not leave it for you to handle! It would be a nice gesture to show that even if he doesn't quite understand; he still needs to do this for you. Meanwhile, keep busy, keep away from the triggers. Many of us know how hard it is to resist when it's right there in front of you. If you don't see (and smell) it, there's not a problem.
I'll try and talk to him about this - but I can see where it's going already. He eats a lot of bread and is lucky enough to have a healthy relationship with food - but does not realize that when I go home after a horrid day at work and see a lovely fresh loaf - I go bread crazy. If I asked him to give away his baked foods, he'd see it as me asking him to give up bread too.0 -
binge eating can be fun....YUMMMM....yeah trigger foods, got to keep them out of the house or at least out of sight. I might go on a wild multi-cake eating binge twice a month. Here's how its starts for me...get the taste of refined sugar type food in my mouth with say a cookie or something...then I want to chase that high it gives me, so it builds and builds and builds....next thing I know I spent $70 on cakes and bakery items for 2 meals...LMAO I kind of think its fun though. Or it might go like this, one piece of chocolate and be like "O that wasn't bad, I can have 2 pieces of chocolate" then im like, "well I can have a third piece of chocolate cause its only 50% more chocolate!" then Im like, "I can have a fourth piece of chocolate cause that's only 30% more chocolate!" then I have a fifth piece of chocolate cause its only 25% more chocolate.....then I go buy 6 or 7 cakes and eat them all, sometimes I throw the cakey part away and just eat the icing! o yeah then comes a really awesome strength work out follow by a bunch of guilt....LMAO
I "dedi-cake" this post to:
Doughnuts
ho ho pie
snickers pie
M&M pie
sugar cookies
Chocolate Morsels for baking
Ready made pie crust
Raisin nut bran
Granulated sugar
Maple syrup
Boston crème pie with or with out strawberries
Carrot cake
Twix pie
Any candy bar
Nuts
Hersey kisses
Any chocolate
German chocolate cake
Crumb coffee cake
Basically anything in the bakery section
LMAO....YUMMMM0 -
Sweetie! I just want to give you a big big hug!!
I understand being depressed over binge eating too, I have been there. I felt like my life was ripping apart at the seams, and it was affecting everything. My relationships, my well being, my job, EVERYTHING. I've been battling depression since my early teens. I was stubborn in thinking I could handle it myself. I could for a little while, but then something would happen and I'd hit rock bottom all over again. (Cue several binges) Finally at 27 I checked my pride at the door, and talked to my doctor. Best thing I did for myself. She found me the right meds to go on that would also not interfere with my weight loss journey. Now I've found almost complete balance in everything, and I feel like me again! I can't even tell you the last time I ate until I exploded.
I just wanted to share my story because you're not alone.
I wish I had some advice about your boyfriend, but others before me have given AWESOME advice! My bf had to suddenly change his diet around so we support eachother. His health issues at 27 is ridiculous, but nothing a change in diet can't help!
Chin up darlin. It will get better, I promise :flowerforyou:0 -
Holidays are the most fun places to binge eat cause there is way too much fantastic food, and the food is free!!!! even better yet, I look fantastic and the rest of the family watches me eat copious amounts of "junk food", like ice-cream on top of brownies for instance during easter, and they all look at me like they hate me! they are like, "how can he eat that and look so good?" it pisses them off I swear! Also I enjoy cake binges with my 14 year old little brother cause its like hes being spoiled and he loves sugar!!!0
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Binge eating can co-exist with a normal or near-normal weight as easily as with obesity. It does not necessarily correlate with body size.
Further, binge eating is an addiction. Substance abuse researchers say that the brain adaptions that result from regularly eating so-called hyperpalatable foods – foods that layer salt, fat, and sweet flavors, proven to increase consumption – are likely to be more difficult to change than those from cocaine or alcohol because they involve many more neural pathways. Almost 90 percent of the dopamine receptors in the reward center of the brain are activated in response to food cues.
In other words, highly processed foods have impacted your ability to exert "will power," which is never a particularly effective tool in achieving a healthy lifestyle to begin with. You have also conditioned your brain to release dopamine in anticipation and consumption of these foods, the same way an alcoholic or heroine addict experiences pleasure from the next hit.
The good news -- and there IS good news -- is that a program of foods high in dopamine- and serotonin-boosting chemicals, along with numerous brain-amping activities (from simple exercise to listening to music) can regrow those receptors and bring the confidence of fulfillment and health. There is lots of low-cost help available to you, from 12-step programs to the latest research in the science of food addiction to exercise to free meditation classes in your area. Just believe and continue to reach out. :flowerforyou:0 -
The eating is symptomatic of other issues that you really need to address with a professional as soon a possible. You mention that you are depressed from eating. It is very possible that it is the other way around and trying to change your eating habits will probably not improve the depression. Please talk to someone about this as soon as possible.
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It kind of sounds like OCD (obsessive/compulsive disorder). Maybe find a different therapist who knows about this and can see if that's what you're dealing with? It can feel like your brain is being taken over. You need coping strategies. Might help the boyfriend understand that it's not just having the willpower to say "no more", but much harder than that.
Good luck to you, and kudos for being honest with yourself and taking your life back before it takes over. It shows a strength and determination deep in you. You can do this.0 -
I would also recommend overeaters anonymous. http://www.oa.org/membersgroups/find-a-meeting/
I had the good fortune of attending a few meetings while suffering from bulimia/extreme restriction and they were so welcoming. If you don't want to attend a meeting, I would recommend at least reading the book. I felt like you- there was no "reason" for my eating disorder. But it still helped me a lot and made me realize the consequences of my actions on those around me. Good luck to you!0 -
I had completely forgot about this book that I got a long time ago. Its 100% true and addresses the amount of pressure we as women put on ourselves to be perfect, and how the lack of control in our own lives often manifest as eating disorders. Its called ; Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The frightening new normalcy of hating your body.0
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Think of it this way... your trigger foods are the same thing to you as booze is to an alcoholic.... I live with food issues too and it's an addiction... get rid of the triggers and start living!!0
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Sometimes our loved ones can suck the energy out of our resolve if they don't get it. Sometimes when I am working on an area of my life I don't share it even with people I am close too until I feel I have some momentum. I have tried so many different things to lose weight that they just don't take me seriously anymore. Maybe you need to not talk about abstinence and just do it for awhile. Keep a journal maybe. And OA really helps if you are so inclined. There are people there who really understand.0
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I think you may have been going to the wrong kind of therapist - try and find someone who is into behavioral modification. :flowerforyou:0
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What are your general eating patterns like? I used to binge a hell of a lot, 1000's of calories at a time, and i know what you mean about the guilt! But i found out that it was because i just wasn't eating enough during the day, so the minute i would eat something it would trigger someting inside me that said, 'fill up!' and thus i would start binging. Since i worked this out, i've adopted a 'eat little and often' approach to food, and i can't honestly remember the last time i had a massive binge, (i'm talking weeks, not months though lol). Even though i'm only eating something small and low calorie at any one time, because i know i will be eating again soon i don't feel the need to keep stuffing my face. It might be something you're already doing, or it might be something that doesn't personally work for you, but it might be worth a try 0
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I totally understand what you are saying. I wish I could just be normal, and have a cookie or two. Not me, if I have one I have to eat them until the bag is empty. My trigger foods are cereal, PB, cookies, cake, ice cream. I can not just have a little. Every time I eat any, it will set off a binge. I just cannot even eat one bite. I liken it to being an alcoholic..........they can work in a liquor store, because as long as it isn't open they are fine. But, they can't work in a bar, around open liquor. That is exactly how I am about trigger foods. As long as I don't touch it I'm good, if I open it, it triggers a binge. I have also struggled with this for years. I too have had eating disorders going from aneroxia to purging. No one knows I have struggled with this problem. The only way I can manage it, is by completely avoiding my trigger foods. Good luck, it is tuff, and plays havic on your self esteem.0
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Go to a therapist. You can't stay away from your trigger foods forever.0
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Relationships with food are very hard for some people to grasp. I tend not to talk about my unhealthy relationship with anyone because they don't understand. It's a mental/emotional issue most times, and some people just don't get it. I have had issues with food for over 14 years. When I was young and was told to clear the table and put the left overs in the fridge, I would sneak and eat more as I put everything away. I would eat so much I felt sick. This continued well into my 20s and it was just recently that I got a grasp on it, by ABSTAINING!
I will not indulge in that "one piece of birthday cake won't hurt you" mentality. I was at birthday parties all weekend and was told this several times, but I crunched on raw veggies the whole time. I know that if I have that one taste of something I loved so much, it will be a trigger for me to hide after everyone is asleep and eat an entire bag of chips or candy or a whole container of cookies. I do not have binge days anymore, because I cut those things out of my life and I have replaced them with veggies, exercise, and reading books. Anything to keep my mind away from the food.
Eat to live, don't live to eat. <<< I tell myself this every. single. day.0 -
The eating is symptomatic of other issues that you really need to address with a professional as soon a possible. You mention that you are depressed from eating. It is very possible that it is the other way around and trying to change your eating habits will probably not improve the depression. Please talk to someone about this as soon as possible.
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It kind of sounds like OCD (obsessive/compulsive disorder). Maybe find a different therapist who knows about this and can see if that's what you're dealing with? It can feel like your brain is being taken over. You need coping strategies. Might help the boyfriend understand that it's not just having the willpower to say "no more", but much harder than that.
Good luck to you, and kudos for being honest with yourself and taking your life back before it takes over. It shows a strength and determination deep in you. You can do this.
Yes!!... These two posts above.
I really feel for you and know how difficult this journey is--
I'm a therapist in an eating disorder hospital working primarily with binge eating disordered patients within a group context. Our program is based on Dr. Christopher Fairburn's model --his book is called "Overcoming Binge Eating" and it is a guided self help approach to bingeing. You can get it on Amazon for like $12--for my patients, this has been an eye-opening read and life-changer. I think you would really benefit from this book, but also seeking professional help and support... a group can be incredibility important to those who binge so you know you're not alone in this and have others to lean on. Change is NOT linear, but relapses in bingeing teach us A LOT. Instead of beating yourself up, try to be curious as to what when on for you--so next time you'll know more about how to intervene or prevent such an episode from occurring or from the extent that it goes.
This is going to be a process so be gentle with yourself... try to find some self-compassion because guilt only leads to more bingeing. Be curious as to what the function of your bingeing serves... are you trying to avoid, dull, numb feelings of guilt...anxiety...boredom? Or quiet self-critical thoughts? Try to observe whats going on for you (emotionally, in you're thoughts, in your body etc) when you're experiencing the urge to binge using mindfulness, non-judgmentally. Avoid labeling foods "good" and "bad," "okay" and "not okay." Food is food. Try to foster neutrality... it will help diffuse the power it seems certain foods have. As soon as you partake in "not okay" foods, guilt often ensues... Let food just be food. It makes sense to limit foods you feel are unsafe, but fully restricting carbs and sugars from your diet is bound to inevitability feel like you're depriving yourself and will lead to bingeing. Also make sure you're eating enough--when we are constantly physiologically hungry we lose our rationality and feel out of control, naturally, because we're built that way! Our bodies scream at us, "give me as quick and as many calories as possible right this minute" which is often why individuals crave high sugar high fat foods during binges.
No one likes to hear this, truly, but I want to plant a seed with you--Weight loss should be a second goal. Stabilizing and minimizing binge eating should be first and foremost. We cannot tackle weight loss until bingeing is stable. Otherwise it makes for a whole lot of distress and disappointment. How incredibly difficult and hard it is to try to lose weight when bingeing is out of control?
I don't mean to overload you but I work with wonderful individuals like you all day and couldn't read your post without wanting to help. I wish you the best!!
-Jillian0 -
Relationships with food are very hard for some people to grasp. I tend not to talk about my unhealthy relationship with anyone because they don't understand. It's a mental/emotional issue most times, and some people just don't get it. I have had issues with food for over 14 years. When I was young and was told to clear the table and put the left overs in the fridge, I would sneak and eat more as I put everything away. I would eat so much I felt sick. This continued well into my 20s and it was just recently that I got a grasp on it, by ABSTAINING!
I will not indulge in that "one piece of birthday cake won't hurt you" mentality. I was at birthday parties all weekend and was told this several times, but I crunched on raw veggies the whole time. I know that if I have that one taste of something I loved so much, it will be a trigger for me to hide after everyone is asleep and eat an entire bag of chips or candy or a whole container of cookies. I do not have binge days anymore, because I cut those things out of my life and I have replaced them with veggies, exercise, and reading books. Anything to keep my mind away from the food.
Eat to live, don't live to eat. <<< I tell myself this every. single. day.
this^^^^^^ For some people it is just not possible to have just one piece. There is no mental, dark secret for my food issues. I just have an unhealthy relationship with food. I can completely control binge eating by not touching my trigger foods. The only time I can have a bite of a trigger food is in a situation where it will be impossible to have more than a couple cookies, and I will not be alone to binge eat.. I can have it around me now and I am fine. I just don't touch it. One thing that did help me with getting it under control was this. If I knew that I woul be alone and tempted to binge, I set a time limit that I will not eat anything past. I use to not eat anything after 3 in the afternoon. I knew that I couldn't binge at work, and if I didn't allow myself to eat after 3, then that took away the option to binge eat.0 -
I have struggled with binge eating in the past and I found one thing that really helped me was learning about food.
Where it comes form how it's made, reading the science behind the listed ingredients, the polictical aspect of manufactured food.
This might sound weird, but it has totally changed how I look at food and maybe given that you don't seem to have any real emotional triggers making you eat, no deep dark corners or secrets of your life, you should start focusing on the deep dark secrets and corners of the food instead.
Ever since I started taking a real interest in my food, I have noticed how much more I have "fallen in love" with food, changing my whole relationship with it.
I used to think I loved it before, but I didn't know anything about what I was eating in terms of how it was prepared and what went into it, I just loved it as a whole.
Don't get me wrong I still have "binges" now but they are nowhere near what I used to go through. A binge for me these days is a single bag of chips and maybe a couple of snack sized candy bars, which ANYONE can live with.
There are endless online resources and books available on the subject, but maybe if you're more interested, let me know and I can make some suggestions.
Good luck and DON'T GIVE UP!0 -
I just can't take it anymore. I cannot take the way that binge-eating makes me feel. It WILL end up killing me, I'm being honest and I am not overreacting. I'm nearly 23 - only managing to keep at a healthy weight through lots and lots of exercise. I do not want to be one of those people at 50, having binged for the last 30 years (I've already been doing it for 7!)
My boyfriend always rolls his eyes at me when I talk of abstinence from my trigger foods. He believes that it is not necessary, and that I just need to 'be strong.'Problem is, my self-esteem is now at an all time low. 50% of the time, I wake up near-on suicidal with guilt from last's night binge. The only reason I am depressed is because of my binge-eating - but now it is starting to effect my 4-year long relationship (I love my boyfriend so much, but I am now quite regularly in a bad mood due to overeating)
Tonight, I'm going to go home and I'm going to talk to him. I'm going to tell him that I WILL practice abstinence until I feel comfortable enough to start re-introducing trigger foods back into my diet. I am not mentally strong at all right now - I honestly feel that abstinence, though hard for the first couple weeks, is the only way in which I can get a hold of my eating. Believe me, I've tried EVERYTHING. By abstinence, I do not mean deprivation, by the way. I will strike for 1800 or so calories a day - give or take a few. But I simply cannot consume trigger foods (sugar, refined carbohydrates) without wanting to go on a wild eating binge half an hour later.
I just think this is the only hope I've got. My life is important to me and food has taken over. If I have to give up cake for a few years/whatever, I don't care. Living my life happily and healthily is better than any cookie!
Abstinence works. When I lost 60 lbs last time I had to practice abstinence from trigger foods. Some foods I just lose my head with and cannot stop at a good point- like pizza and peanut butter.
I get really depressed from binge eating too. It makes you feel terrible when you do it. I feel fine when I don't binge.
It is frustrating when family, friends, counselors and psychiatrists don't take the time to understand how bad an eating problem and weight gain can make you feel and how much of a problem it is.0 -
@AmyNicole I'm very lucky in that I'm not overweight - but it's a bit confusing, I have no idea why I'm not overweight yet. I binge on average anywhere from 3-5 times a week (we're talking 8000-10,000 calories daily) and I've been doing it for nearly 7 years. However, my weight remains relatively stable, if not going up or down 5 lb every now and again. I'm 5'6 and 136 lb.
But this isn't really about weight for me anymore - I'd like to be a little slimmer, but more important to me is my happiness. Binge eating makes me feel DISGUSTING and very, very inferior. My confidence and self esteem is torn to shreds.
My partner is an odd one; he's lovely, but he's very, very slim (6' 2 and 154lb!) - he has a healthy diet most of the time, but also loves to bake and indulges in cake a couple times a week. He bakes TONNES of bread though, which would be great if I didn't binge on it all the time. He knows that I struggle and comforts me, but the way he sees it is, that I just need to be 'normal' around food and blah blah blah. The problem is, after 7 years of disordered eating, I can't just 'get normal!'
Are you sure you don't need those extra calories? If you are skinny even with your binges you may be undereating most of the time and making up for the lack when you binge. I have two skinny sisters and a slightly overweight mother and they both eat very little some days and more on others. It sort of evens out.0 -
It has come to the point with me that I understand where my triggers are, and no matter how much I try to convince myself that I can stop, and have these items in my house. I am proved wrong every time.
This is me to a tea. Problem is I eliminate one trigger food from my pantry and another food becomes a trigger food. I know I need to deal with this just like the addiction that it is, rather than labelling some foods as wrong or bad. but I'm not strong enough to have the really bad things in my house yet. For now it's elimination of those massive triggers and trying to have the lesser triggers in moderation as some-else mentioned previously.
I have literally an hour ago labelled in big black permanent markers all the glass jars with certain foods in my pantry (the lesser and more healthy trigger foods) with reminders that eating anything is a choice and to remind me to question whether eating those things in those amounts(?!!) are going to be in line with my true desires/goals. I'm no where near as bad as I used to be, I too used to binge in the +5000cal range and now is more like 1500-2000. And I'm not nearly as big as I used to be, but for me its not about the calories or the weight I am, it's about eliminating this habit once and for all before my little beautiful girls pick up on it and carry it forward for another generation.
Best wishes to you,
Sarah0 -
I'm so relating to all of these posts, we need all the support we can get, I think there should be a group fr this so we can check in with each other and give supports, I will definitely look into creating one, until then add me add me!0
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It's how I started this 'diet', frankly. I piggied out so much during the Holidays and after, at some point in January I was just sick of it.. so I decided to stop and try and lose weight. I stopped eating any trigger food for a month, and I was able to restrict myself after that.
Good luck!0
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