How do you deal with HeartBreak??

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  • lcvaughn520
    lcvaughn520 Posts: 219 Member
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    Think about how awesome it will feel to see that person again and look your best yet! Throw your energy into working out/other active pursuits. Find a new hobby, read, volunteer - stay busy!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I have no idea. And when you find out please let me know.
  • M______
    M______ Posts: 288 Member
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    I dont want to go back to eating like a pig... Did that for a week and it just didnt make me feel better at all... lol How have you deal with a relationship ending? Because all Im doing is stressing out, working out, but stressing out. :brokenheart:

    I know it flat out sucks, but all the things you feel like avoiding. Seeing friends, socializing, work, healthy and positive rest, activities etc. Its those things that are a real support group. Its the rest of your life that you have to fall back on, and that will help to revitalize you.

    A lot of the time I feel like my brain and 'me' are 2 different entities. My brain is full of bad ideas, but I have to say no and choose what I know is the better option. Being a little forceful now will pay a lot of benefits in the long term. It also really helps with motivation which I think is what 'just doing it' really is.
  • CarlottatheBrain
    CarlottatheBrain Posts: 13
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    I focused on myself. Getting to know myself all over again.
  • minijag06
    minijag06 Posts: 70
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    Focus on positive things. Working out makes you look and feel great! Focus!!!!!
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
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    Just break up and move on.
  • ames105
    ames105 Posts: 288 Member
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    The love of my life died unexpectedly from a heart attack in January, talk about heartbreak! I spent most of February in a fog but I continued to exercise and care for myself because that's what he would have wanted. By March, I realized I wasn't doing myself any good, I still have to live. I forced myself to go out on a date, just to get out of the house, and I unexpectedly meet a really nice guy. Its been a bit of a struggle, still grieving while having fun with the new guy, but I'm so glad I made myself keep moving.

    The point is, take care of yourself, you'll feel better from eating properly and exercising. Then, when a little time has passed, put yourself back out there. You seem like a great person, some girl will see that very soon and consider herself lucky to have met you!

    Good luck in your journey!
  • iangelbailey10
    iangelbailey10 Posts: 51 Member
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    Take care of yourself first and foremost... eating away the pain will only hurt you more. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, and then realize that you are going to be just fine without them. Then, start rebuilding your life one step at a time. Falling always stinks.. but getting back up and being better is always a good thing! Good luck to you!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Honestly, time is the only thing that's going to fix it, but working out certainly helps in the meantime. I was never the binge eat type when it came to getting over a breakup. I am typically less likely to eat and more likely to kill it in the gym and perhaps buy some new clothes.
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
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    Ranger up...
    I am stealing this phrase.

    As far as heartbreak, I rationalize everything. If he/she/it were good for me, he/she/it would care about me and still want to be in a relationship with me. He/she/it no longer wants to be in a relationship with me, therefore he/she/it is no good for me. If he/she/it is no good for me, I do not want to be around him/her/it. I might be mildly annoyed that he/she/it beat me to terminating what was obviously an unproductive relationship, but I would feel like that was a failure on my part to correctly evaluate the relationship. And just like that, heartbreak disappears in a puff of logic, and I am left with only a small sense of intellectual inadequacy. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
  • swhite118
    swhite118 Posts: 1
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    Know that relationships aren't always meant to be permanent. People are brought into our lives and leave our lives and many times there's nothing we can do to prevent either. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I needed to stop blaming myself for a breakup and that gorging was just another way I was punishing myself. I thought I was seeking comfort in food until I lost control of the situation and I became totally uncomfortable with the person I had become. I now know that a broken relationship isn't a judgment of me as a person. I'm strong, I'm good enough, and if someone else is no longer attracted to me, well, it is what it is. I thank God for all of the relationships I've had during my life (all 62 years of it), both good and bad. Each of them has taught me a lesson about myself and other people. Today, instead of grabbing that extra serving of pasta or ordering a medium pizza for one, I grab my little dog's lease and take really long walks that allow me to think about the situation, about why it didn't work or couldn't work, and before I know it, I notice something along the way that I've never noticed before.. Whatever you decide to do, know, above all else, that this too shall pass and you will find love again.
  • chadraeder3
    chadraeder3 Posts: 288
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    I'd tell you but it would violate a few of the forum rules here and I think that the statute of limitations has not been reached yet! May not of been "legal" in all the states but damn was fun.
  • backpacker44
    backpacker44 Posts: 160 Member
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    Aww boys do this kind of thing too?? That's awesome...

    I used to eat. I lost someone who meant the world to me.. By lost I mean he went mental and went from being gushy and loving me to hating me over night with no explanation... That was almost 3 years ago and he still finds it in himself to write me horrible letters saying what a disgusting horrible human being I am. When I would get them before my commitment to being fit, I would eat and eat for days to "comfort" myself. I think my reasoning was that I wasn't worth being healthy because of what he said to me. Now that I am commited, I INSTANTLY go to the gym. I take out my anger and sadness on the equipment in the gym. This has really helped me move on. I am no longer sad, but more indifferent now. And I actually like getting his emails because it shows that he is still thinking about me, and I couldn't care less about him. These workouts are usually my personal bests.
  • Viva81Diva
    Viva81Diva Posts: 148
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    It's hard to end a relationship, but if it isn't working then it just isn't. Time is the best way to move forward. Some people go rebound and start dating right away, but in my opinion, being single and focusing on yourself for awhile is way more rewarding!

    I am single right now (been separated for over 2 years now) but I like it that way! I have a toddler to take care of, plus my studies and weight loss to focus on. If I had still been with my husband, I wouldn't be able to finish my degree or focus on my weight. That relationship was one of the worst I have ever been in. I was VERY unhappy, and didn't like being "controlled" or constantly accused of cheating. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did for me and my child (who I didn't know I was carrying when I left).

    It was a struggle to be separated and pregnant. I had to pay for rent, utilities, food, and went to school without any help with medical expenses from him with my women's center. He was barely part of the pregnancy, and when I wasn't working, I had to get state assistance with food and health care to help pay for the medical expenses. My parents suggested I move back in with them after my baby was born, and I did when he was 3 months old.

    I continued to have "drama" with my husband, and made the decision to force child support and have a custody order. I couldn't handle the lifestyle he chose to live, and definitely didn't want my son around it. Even though I cared for him at one point, I was glad to be out of the relationship. I was stressed for awhile until he stopped coming around so much. He calls more than comes by, but that is okay because my son barely knows him anyway and I don't have to argue or stress when he is around.

    Being single is what I prefer at this point. I was depressed slightly at first when I left, thinking I would never have a kid (before I knew I was carrying) and how no one would ever love me again/or I didn't deserve to be loved. Then I found out I was pregnant and my whole outlook changed almost overnight. I KNEW it was best to move forward and not look back. The depression went away, but I was fearful because I didn't know how I was going to make it as a single parent. Then, I was comforted, knowing that I don't have the stress anymore. Then, I was like, "I LOVE being single!" I guess it took me about 5 months to be comforted. By the end of the year I was a completely different person. A new Mom with a gorgeous baby boy who is more important to me than any relationship.

    I guess you just have to find your way. Do things that you haven't done, like skydiving or getting a makeover. New suit, new hair cut... Reinvent YOU! Be who you are and do things that make you happy. Go to church or go to the club so you can sing and dance out your worries! Music soothes the soul, so play your favorite music when you are feeling blue and even when you are happy, and with time, you'll be happy.
  • still_a_caterpillar
    still_a_caterpillar Posts: 50
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    Every time I've had my heart broken I've moved. It makes me want a fresh start, so I find a new job and a new place to live and I run away. I usually go somewhere with friends (I am fortunate enough to have close friends scattered all across the US, so I could go just about anywhere)
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    well...I personally am just choking on the grief...and no, it hasn't gotten any easier. My motivation to eat or work out ebs and flows with how much I can distract myself at any given moment. I'm struggling so bad there are days I can't get out of bed.

    So, yeah, I'm not great role model. I hope your pain is of short duration.
  • slflorian
    slflorian Posts: 33
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    Know that relationships aren't always meant to be permanent. People are brought into our lives and leave our lives and many times there's nothing we can do to prevent either. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I needed to stop blaming myself for a breakup and that gorging was just another way I was punishing myself. I thought I was seeking comfort in food until I lost control of the situation and I became totally uncomfortable with the person I had become. I now know that a broken relationship isn't a judgment of me as a person. I'm strong, I'm good enough, and if someone else is no longer attracted to me, well, it is what it is. I thank God for all of the relationships I've had during my life (all 62 years of it), both good and bad. Each of them has taught me a lesson about myself and other people. Today, instead of grabbing that extra serving of pasta or ordering a medium pizza for one, I grab my little dog's lease and take really long walks that allow me to think about the situation, about why it didn't work or couldn't work, and before I know it, I notice something along the way that I've never noticed before.. Whatever you decide to do, know, above all else, that this too shall pass and you will find love again.

    I love this!!! :heart:

    And I couldn't agree more - people walk in and out of our lives after their role in our path is done. Try not to look at it as a failure, look at it as a lesson. I'm sure there will be some things that you can look back on and see things that happened that you didn't like - thats the lesson - now you know not to accept that behavior in the future.

    Also, when you do something that makes you happy - it will exude from you and people will be drawn to that. Plus, if you feel you're losing motivation to stay healthy, remember how good you'll look if you keep it up and they may regret leaving.
  • billyboybalbo
    billyboybalbo Posts: 156
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    put paint remover on her car bro, sugar in the petrol tank,slash her tyres..its all good.
  • luv4cjandnilah
    luv4cjandnilah Posts: 7 Member
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    The gym always worked for me. Stay away from the food. Just keep telling yourself "this too shall pass" and it will. :smile: . You will definitely find love again
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    Time.

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