How do you deal with HeartBreak??
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Know that relationships aren't always meant to be permanent. People are brought into our lives and leave our lives and many times there's nothing we can do to prevent either. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I needed to stop blaming myself for a breakup and that gorging was just another way I was punishing myself. I thought I was seeking comfort in food until I lost control of the situation and I became totally uncomfortable with the person I had become. I now know that a broken relationship isn't a judgment of me as a person. I'm strong, I'm good enough, and if someone else is no longer attracted to me, well, it is what it is. I thank God for all of the relationships I've had during my life (all 62 years of it), both good and bad. Each of them has taught me a lesson about myself and other people. Today, instead of grabbing that extra serving of pasta or ordering a medium pizza for one, I grab my little dog's lease and take really long walks that allow me to think about the situation, about why it didn't work or couldn't work, and before I know it, I notice something along the way that I've never noticed before.. Whatever you decide to do, know, above all else, that this too shall pass and you will find love again.0
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I'd tell you but it would violate a few of the forum rules here and I think that the statute of limitations has not been reached yet! May not of been "legal" in all the states but damn was fun.0
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Aww boys do this kind of thing too?? That's awesome...
I used to eat. I lost someone who meant the world to me.. By lost I mean he went mental and went from being gushy and loving me to hating me over night with no explanation... That was almost 3 years ago and he still finds it in himself to write me horrible letters saying what a disgusting horrible human being I am. When I would get them before my commitment to being fit, I would eat and eat for days to "comfort" myself. I think my reasoning was that I wasn't worth being healthy because of what he said to me. Now that I am commited, I INSTANTLY go to the gym. I take out my anger and sadness on the equipment in the gym. This has really helped me move on. I am no longer sad, but more indifferent now. And I actually like getting his emails because it shows that he is still thinking about me, and I couldn't care less about him. These workouts are usually my personal bests.0 -
It's hard to end a relationship, but if it isn't working then it just isn't. Time is the best way to move forward. Some people go rebound and start dating right away, but in my opinion, being single and focusing on yourself for awhile is way more rewarding!
I am single right now (been separated for over 2 years now) but I like it that way! I have a toddler to take care of, plus my studies and weight loss to focus on. If I had still been with my husband, I wouldn't be able to finish my degree or focus on my weight. That relationship was one of the worst I have ever been in. I was VERY unhappy, and didn't like being "controlled" or constantly accused of cheating. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did for me and my child (who I didn't know I was carrying when I left).
It was a struggle to be separated and pregnant. I had to pay for rent, utilities, food, and went to school without any help with medical expenses from him with my women's center. He was barely part of the pregnancy, and when I wasn't working, I had to get state assistance with food and health care to help pay for the medical expenses. My parents suggested I move back in with them after my baby was born, and I did when he was 3 months old.
I continued to have "drama" with my husband, and made the decision to force child support and have a custody order. I couldn't handle the lifestyle he chose to live, and definitely didn't want my son around it. Even though I cared for him at one point, I was glad to be out of the relationship. I was stressed for awhile until he stopped coming around so much. He calls more than comes by, but that is okay because my son barely knows him anyway and I don't have to argue or stress when he is around.
Being single is what I prefer at this point. I was depressed slightly at first when I left, thinking I would never have a kid (before I knew I was carrying) and how no one would ever love me again/or I didn't deserve to be loved. Then I found out I was pregnant and my whole outlook changed almost overnight. I KNEW it was best to move forward and not look back. The depression went away, but I was fearful because I didn't know how I was going to make it as a single parent. Then, I was comforted, knowing that I don't have the stress anymore. Then, I was like, "I LOVE being single!" I guess it took me about 5 months to be comforted. By the end of the year I was a completely different person. A new Mom with a gorgeous baby boy who is more important to me than any relationship.
I guess you just have to find your way. Do things that you haven't done, like skydiving or getting a makeover. New suit, new hair cut... Reinvent YOU! Be who you are and do things that make you happy. Go to church or go to the club so you can sing and dance out your worries! Music soothes the soul, so play your favorite music when you are feeling blue and even when you are happy, and with time, you'll be happy.0 -
Every time I've had my heart broken I've moved. It makes me want a fresh start, so I find a new job and a new place to live and I run away. I usually go somewhere with friends (I am fortunate enough to have close friends scattered all across the US, so I could go just about anywhere)0
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well...I personally am just choking on the grief...and no, it hasn't gotten any easier. My motivation to eat or work out ebs and flows with how much I can distract myself at any given moment. I'm struggling so bad there are days I can't get out of bed.
So, yeah, I'm not great role model. I hope your pain is of short duration.0 -
Know that relationships aren't always meant to be permanent. People are brought into our lives and leave our lives and many times there's nothing we can do to prevent either. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I needed to stop blaming myself for a breakup and that gorging was just another way I was punishing myself. I thought I was seeking comfort in food until I lost control of the situation and I became totally uncomfortable with the person I had become. I now know that a broken relationship isn't a judgment of me as a person. I'm strong, I'm good enough, and if someone else is no longer attracted to me, well, it is what it is. I thank God for all of the relationships I've had during my life (all 62 years of it), both good and bad. Each of them has taught me a lesson about myself and other people. Today, instead of grabbing that extra serving of pasta or ordering a medium pizza for one, I grab my little dog's lease and take really long walks that allow me to think about the situation, about why it didn't work or couldn't work, and before I know it, I notice something along the way that I've never noticed before.. Whatever you decide to do, know, above all else, that this too shall pass and you will find love again.
I love this!!!
And I couldn't agree more - people walk in and out of our lives after their role in our path is done. Try not to look at it as a failure, look at it as a lesson. I'm sure there will be some things that you can look back on and see things that happened that you didn't like - thats the lesson - now you know not to accept that behavior in the future.
Also, when you do something that makes you happy - it will exude from you and people will be drawn to that. Plus, if you feel you're losing motivation to stay healthy, remember how good you'll look if you keep it up and they may regret leaving.0 -
put paint remover on her car bro, sugar in the petrol tank,slash her tyres..its all good.0
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The gym always worked for me. Stay away from the food. Just keep telling yourself "this too shall pass" and it will.
. You will definitely find love again 0 -
Time.0
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Lay on my back with tears dripping into my ears for a couple of days.
Then get up and start cleaning things.0 -
This will sound ultra childish but I resort to video games, what better to take you out of reality and into something that you have more control over than a video game? Depending on the game I find it relaxing and it makes me feel better to feel more in control and to be doing something that I consider fun. I even use the kinect to play games so even when in the dumps it makes me get a little active.
I went through a ridiculously long breakup over the last year, initally neither of us wanted to end it but he was being an idiot and shutting me out instead of letting me help or support him while he was going through a tough time. I ended up being really upset after months of being placed on the back burner, well even being forgot about because he didn't feel like reeling me into it. We stopped talking for months, then suddenly started talking again during the winter just to have him pull the same dissappearing act without even the courtesy of an actual "lets not date and lets not be together in any way" being said. I was a mess last year, but what helped were the games and focusing on my home (family), my health and work.
I really hope you find a way to deal, it's never a pleasant thing to go though.0 -
Take it one day at a time. When I'm upset I write a lot. I watch movies and cry when I need to. And chocolate seems to be my comfort food of choice, though I don't reccomend that. Prayer helps a lot. No matter what, keep going, one foot in front of the other as best you can. Try something new or change your routine a bit, and that may help. Good luck.0
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Some great advice here. Sorry that you have to go through this.
1.) definitely don't drink yourself into a stupor - you'll just wake up the next day with a hangover and less money in your pocket - problems are never solved with booze.
2.) pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
3.) don't stop what you are doing with the lifestyle change - you've lost 23 pounds - don't gain it back because of this.
4.) stay clean meaning don't stop taking showers and keeping your appearance up - the next awesome babe in your life may be chased off by your bison musk odor.
5.) you'll be ok.0 -
lift heavy **** and drink tequila 0
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I definately read ALL (EVEN THE LONG ONES AND ESPECIALLY THE FUNNY ONES GLAD TO KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING TO RUIN PROPERTY BUT I WONT) LMAO BUT I so appreciate everyone for this, you guys are totally making me feel better and I have to realize I need to do whats best for me...
What I want maynot be what I need! :ohwell: I appreciate every last one of you guys!0 -
I definately read ALL (EVEN THE LONG ONES AND ESPECIALLY THE FUNNY ONES GLAD TO KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING TO RUIN PROPERTY BUT I WONT) LMAO BUT I so appreciate everyone for this, you guys are totally making me feel better and I have to realize I need to do whats best for me...
What I want maynot be what I need! :ohwell: I appreciate every last one of you guys!
*Brofist*
Nice one dude XD0 -
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Nothing took away my appetite like being dumped. I felt too ill to eat for weeks. It doesn't help when that person who broke up with you feels guilty and won't leave you the F alone so you can get on with your life, though. So if there's any of that going on, cut it out.
I funneled my pain into anger-fueled exercise.
This.......He would call "just to see how I was doing" Really? I was heart broken...........Getting him to stop calling and let me move on was huge. I spent a lot of time at the gym or walking. The look on his face when he saw me down almost 30 pounds and 3 sizes.........Priceless.0 -
Blahahaha! most excellent0 -
Take the money you would have spent on the other person (or on food) and treat yourself to something nice.0
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I'm dealing with a different kind of heartache right now, and I wish I had the answer.
Today it's hitting me hard and I don't really feel like doing anything. I haven't eaten hardly all day. It's not good.
I've been just kind of waiting for it to go away but it's been months. Not always this low but the low periods keep coming back, you know?
No advice, but tons of sympathy. :flowerforyou:0 -
As far as heartbreak, I rationalize everything. If he/she/it were good for me, he/she/it would care about me and still want to be in a relationship with me. He/she/it no longer wants to be in a relationship with me, therefore he/she/it is no good for me. If he/she/it is no good for me, I do not want to be around him/her/it. I might be mildly annoyed that he/she/it beat me to terminating what was obviously an unproductive relationship, but I would feel like that was a failure on my part to correctly evaluate the relationship. And just like that, heartbreak disappears in a puff of logic, and I am left with only a small sense of intellectual inadequacy. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
The rational side of me likes this. It's good to remember all of these points. It's also good to remember that you don't HAVE to quit loving the person. You just have to quit expecting anything from them. And when you think of all the above made points, you probably can fall out of love with them fairly quickly.0 -
As far as heartbreak, I rationalize everything. If he/she/it were good for me, he/she/it would care about me and still want to be in a relationship with me. He/she/it no longer wants to be in a relationship with me, therefore he/she/it is no good for me. If he/she/it is no good for me, I do not want to be around him/her/it. I might be mildly annoyed that he/she/it beat me to terminating what was obviously an unproductive relationship, but I would feel like that was a failure on my part to correctly evaluate the relationship. And just like that, heartbreak disappears in a puff of logic, and I am left with only a small sense of intellectual inadequacy. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
The rational side of me likes this. It's good to remember all of these points. It's also good to remember that you don't HAVE to quit loving the person. You just have to quit expecting anything from them. And when you think of all the above made points, you probably can fall out of love with them fairly quickly.
First off, love your Fin and Jake ticker... Im gonna have to use that and yest, I love her quote and yours. My expectations were extremly high and they were there for a moment... But after awhile, I guess people think they dont have to try because your going to be there... When I complained it was like the perfect out... smh0 -
Know that relationships aren't always meant to be permanent. People are brought into our lives and leave our lives and many times there's nothing we can do to prevent either. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I needed to stop blaming myself for a breakup and that gorging was just another way I was punishing myself. I thought I was seeking comfort in food until I lost control of the situation and I became totally uncomfortable with the person I had become. I now know that a broken relationship isn't a judgment of me as a person. I'm strong, I'm good enough, and if someone else is no longer attracted to me, well, it is what it is. I thank God for all of the relationships I've had during my life (all 62 years of it), both good and bad. Each of them has taught me a lesson about myself and other people. Today, instead of grabbing that extra serving of pasta or ordering a medium pizza for one, I grab my little dog's lease and take really long walks that allow me to think about the situation, about why it didn't work or couldn't work, and before I know it, I notice something along the way that I've never noticed before.. Whatever you decide to do, know, above all else, that this too shall pass and you will find love again.0
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^^^^^^ beautiful!0
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Something you might want to consider is volunteering. Whether it be a soup kitchen, homes for humanity, etc. It's amazing what happens to your own heartache when you are caught up trying to help others who are hurting as well.0
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Put all your focus on what’s going to make you happy, healthy and feel good about yourself.
This is coming from experience person. :flowerforyou:0 -
Write it down.. I used to think this was a hokey thing, but it truly helps to get all those thoughts out of your head and on paper or typed on your computer. Just let everything out, nobody else needs to see it, and you can throw it away or delete it once your done.This helped me tremendously during a devastating breakup. I couldn't sleep or concentrate because of all the thoughts and emotions swirling around in my head. I would get up and write it all out until I felt the feelings ease up. I would do this whenever I needed, and gradually life got better. Doing this helped me move on with my life, and I know it was great for my mental health.0
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Remember you are becoming a better you and eventually you will find a better someone. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be and the other pieces of life will flow to you without you having to do a lot of extra things to get what you think you want.0
http://youtu.be/yWhpk-8QLFQ
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