Cancer Regret....question mark

Options
tiddlebit11
tiddlebit11 Posts: 182
in Chit-Chat
When i was younger, i had cancer, leukaemia to be exact. Now, i know im not the first nor last person for this to ever happen to, dont get me wrong. I was told i would die, that i should really be dead right now. I didnt, obviously, but it has left me with numerous health problems (heart, digestive, blood, hormonal and heat regulation issues to name just a few) that will forever affect my life and ultimately cut it short.

But im not here to complain.

The opposite actually

Despite everything, i have no regrets. I in no way wish it didnt happen. Im glad it did. I wouldnt change it for anything.
It was a horribel experience, true, but i feel like i gained so much from that im actually thankful for how it changed me

So my question is - and be 100% honest - what are other peoples perspective on their experience? Do you wish it had never happened or have other feelings towards it?

No judgements here. Just interested to see other people's experiences :)

:)
«1

Replies

  • texaslonghorn42
    texaslonghorn42 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    When I went through breast cancer and treatment a couple years ago I did my best to try to take something positive out of it. Having always been someone that ALWAYS pretty much did everything for myself, going through cancer treatment wiped me out and I HAD to ask for an accept help. And help was there in the form of my family and friends. I remember one day sitting at the bottom of the stairs of my apt complex crying because I was so tired from treatment I couldn't carry a jug of cat litter up the stairs. Having cancer taught me humility. It taught me who I could really count on when I needed it. And it taught me that everything in life can carry a positive to it if you choose to look for it. So to answer your question, no, I don't regret it. :)
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    Options
    I've never had cancer. I did code during childbirth with my oldest. Of course, theres no way I would change it or trade him for the world, but I got a huge reward for my suffering. It did change my perspective completely with my subsequent pregnancies and deliveries. It made me really focus on the most important aspects instead of the more trivial ones.
  • ccludden
    ccludden Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    I can only speak from a different side of experience. I lost a child to leukemia. And have met child hood cancer survivors. It is tough on the kids and the families. But I think makes people appreciate the life they have.
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
    Options
    I've never had a life-changing illness, but I have a heart condition that went undiagnosed for 14 years (due to lack of technology), finally medicated for a couple of years (with no improvement), and eventually kept under control with... wait for it... exercise! I started using running to improve my cardiovascular function (in order to push more blood to my brain) and as my heart got stronger, my episodes got fewer and further in between. I don't know if it's the running that did it, but my resting heart rate went from over 60 to a 48bpm. Can't argue with those numbers.

    But, honestly, passing out for 14 years only made me sick and tired and it worried my mother to pieces. I don't feel like it has enhanced my life in any way. The exercise has, though.

    I'm glad you were able to beat cancer and that it has made a positive impact on your life in the end. I can only wish for that outcome for everyone who battles cancer.

    :)
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Options
    I can only speak from a different side of experience. I lost a child to leukemia. And have met child hood cancer survivors. It is tough on the kids and the families. But I think makes people appreciate the life they have.

    Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry hon.
  • kathyc727
    kathyc727 Posts: 187 Member
    Options
    I was diagnosed with cervical & uterine cancer almost 4 years ago. I had a hysterectomy about 3 years ago that went terribly wrong. I became septic, shipped to ICU, & in a coma. My family was basically told to prepare for my death. I obviously survived both the cancer & the hanging on the cliff of death. I'm not really sure how I feel about all of this...I was in a coma for the worst part & didn't have to experience the scary side. I really feel as if it took a terrible toll on my Mother tho so it is hard for me to find the glory side to it.
  • ken_hogan
    ken_hogan Posts: 854 Member
    Options
    I had testicular cancer 13 years ago. My doc at the time was in his practice 30+ years and said I was only his 3rd patient to ever be diagnosed with it. I caught it before needing chemo or radiation, but I have a nice long scar down my abdomen that needed 40-50 staples to close as a constant reminder of what I went through. I just look at every day as if it was my last and enjoy it!
  • x_JT_x
    x_JT_x Posts: 364
    Options
    You're asking if I wish I had never had cancer? Is this a trick question? The answer is a resounding hell yes!!!!

    I can think of any manner of better ways to learn life's lessons than to have 18 months of my life stolen from me. I can think of about a million different things I'd rather do than have to look into the terrified eyes of my 9 yr old child as they ask me if I'm going to die. I can think of hundreds, no thousands of things I'd rather put into my body than the toxic chemicals needed to rid me of that dreaded disease.

    I will never, as long as I live, understand this need to romaticize cancer. To wear it like some badge of courage and strength. It's a monstrous disease that snuffs out lives and those that it doesn't snuff out it alters irrevocably.

    So, ummm...yeah...I'd say there's a regret or two there.
  • kathyc727
    kathyc727 Posts: 187 Member
    Options
    I can only speak from a different side of experience. I lost a child to leukemia. And have met child hood cancer survivors. It is tough on the kids and the families. But I think makes people appreciate the life they have.
    So sorry for your pain.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Options
    Our experiences shape who we are, and that's all fine an dandy, but if you're asking if given the choice of bearing those **** storms or passing on them, I'd pass on them, thank you very much.

    Sure, they've made me stronger in some ways, but they left periods of my life that are holes that I'll never get back.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Options
    I suffered from a double aneurysm,one of which ruptured which led to a long stay in hospital, a staph infection and complications from that whereby I have degradation of my upper spine. I also lost a lot of muscle while not ambulatory.

    I can really see nothing to be thankful about (well, except the fact that I survived relatively unscathed)

    I am not bitter it happened, it just happened - I just can see no up side from it.
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
    Options
    I've never had physical illness like cancer but I did overcome years of addiction to become a productive member of society. And I don't regret it, I've seen the other side of things and it has made me a much more compassionate person. I now work as a psych nurse taking care of those with not just mental health issues but also substance abuse issues. Whatever we go through in life no matter how good or evil, you just have to grow from it and use that exeperience to help others. To me that's living and learning. You have an amazing outlook!! Keep that with you for the long haul!!

    edit for spelling
  • thewickedlifter
    thewickedlifter Posts: 16
    Options
    I had severe complications from treatments I underwent for my Crohn's Disease. It's truly amazing I'm alive, but the year I spent in the hospital I will never get back. For the first month of my sons life I had to wait patiently everyday for my family to bring him to the hospital so I could hold him. No I wouldn't go through any of it again. Yes it changed me and made me stronger, but I can never get those days back and as we all know, everyday is a precious gift!
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Options
    I'm definitely one of the very lucky few so far,. Although it changed me to be a better person., It did and has put stress directly in my children's life that turn's my stomach every day. I can't help but feel guilty of the hard ache and sadness they have gone through.

    On the flip side, it emphasized all the reasons why my estranged wife was with me. It took something tragic to finally end a failed marriage and bring happiness into my life once again...
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    Well... I'm glad that you managed to turn it into a positive thing. That is not sarcasm. I am genuinely glad that you consider it something that changed you in a positive way instead of a traumatic nightmare.

    That being said, my mother suffered on and off with cancer for ten years before it finally took her life. There were days where she would literally be in so much pain that she wouldn't be able to stop crying from it. And near the end, she was on so much morphine that I felt like I'd already lost her, because she didn't even remember where she was or what was happening any more.

    I regret very much that the last ten years I had with my mother were spent being angry at her disease and how it ruined our family. I regret not supporting her more through what had to be the most awful time in her life, and I regret that as a child, I was very selfish and needy of her when she just could not provide what I wanted of her because she was fighting to live.

    For most people, cancer never will be a thing they are 'glad' happens to them or a loved one. But I will not mock you for being the exception. I have made peace with my mother's death, but I will never reach the level of acceptance that you have.
  • tiddlebit11
    tiddlebit11 Posts: 182
    Options
    I am truly sorry to hear about the bad experiences everyone has been through, and as i said i in no way think that people should be glad to have such periods in their life

    I guess for me i feel like i should be dead now so im thankful for the somewhat difficult and often painful life that remains :)
    Also...as bad as the illness was, my 2-ish years in hospital (and again for a few months later during relapse) actually got me away from a worse environment and made me see the world in a completely new way :)

    Again, i do think everyone will nor should have the same view :)

    I was just interested to hear of other experiences and thank you all for sharing what i know is often a difficult thing to recollect

    :)
  • tiddlebit11
    tiddlebit11 Posts: 182
    Options
    I also greatly appreciate and understand the toll it can take on those around you, especially family, and am sorry to hear people had to experience such things

    I guess in a way i was sort of lucky as my family wasnt....the best nor closest family....i think that the other patients and drs/nurses at the hospital soon became much more of a family to me...which did make it painful to see many of them lose their fight...but it taught me that people could actually care about me and beleive in me...if my doctor hadnt of actually thought i had talent i would have never even tried to follow my dream and study medicine (which i succeeded in doing after high school) ....

    But mine is probably a more unique side to the illness

    And again, thanks all for sharing ...wish you all the best!

    :)
    xxx
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    Options
    I had a massive stroke at 32 due to a dissected vertebral artery. I listened, in a body I had no control over and couldn't speak, while they told my husband that 90% of people will die, and 10% of survivors will ever walk or talk again. For him to have "realistic" expectations of my recovery. I regained EVERYTHING, slowly.... save for some balance issues I'm back to "normal". For months while my dissection healed I would wonder if I would see the light of day and when the sun came up I was so grateful that another day was given to me. I still am. I sort of wish everyone would have some sort of life altering illness that they would fully recover from because is certainly does give you a different perspective. I have completely changed a lot of things, and some things are the same. I am a lot kinder to myself and others and I have no tolerance for rude or arrogant people. Things are just different for me in a better way.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    Options
    glandular hepatitis here, and i'm pretty sure i did actually practically die for a moment... but all it did was make me realise that i'm alive because i choose to be and so i owe it to myself to make things happen. now i'm watching my father die (renal cancer with mets in lung and lymph) and his sole regret is apparently that he ever ate vegetables
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    Options
    When I was 19 I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. It was a very curable kind and I didn't even have to have chemo just surgery. It was scary but i cant imagine what someone with a more severe case would be going through. I do not regret it at all, I am stronger because of it and an interesting story 3 yrs later while pregnant with my son, we discovered the surgery left major scar tissue. My son tried to be born at 28 weeks and because of the scar tissue I couldn't dilate on my own so even the last few weeks were hell He managed to stay in until 35 weeks so in a way I have cancer to thank for that.

Categories