Just binged :/ disappointed

When I started my journey to get the fat off me back in Aug of last year, I was completely honest to the whole thing and I have never binged...I know everyone says everyone does it, but that is not true....I never let myself. And yes there have been times when I have wanted too. But I didn't!
You have to ask your self; how bad do you really want to be thin and fit?

Because you see I wanted it so bad, there was nothing going to stop me.
I have gone from 196 to 122.

Anyone can do it, if they really want it!

I agree with everyone else, just get right back on the wagon. We've all done it at some point.
I just wanted to add though, you said you don't like how now you feel bad about when you binge, versus when you used to eat a ton of crap and not bat an eye. The way you feel about food now is a VERY GOOD thing. You realize that you need to eat in a healthy way, and feel bad when you don't. This is so much better than every time you would eat a ton and not worry about it.
I'll give an example. I have an aunt who me and my sister go and sleep over her house a couple times a year. They always have a ton of junk in their house ,and I used to always get excited to go there and eat all of the tasty, fattening snacks.
Last weekend, we went to my aunts and I was actually DREADING eating the unhealthy food. I was not looking foward to it at all, and I just wanting to have a good healthy eating day. But I let myself enjoy some smores and pie and just got back to my healthy way the next day.
You will be fine

Quittings never crossed my mind I'm guess I'm just bummed that I'm dealing with the same weakness popping up. To my friends and family I'm mr willpower who supposedly has fitness figured out. I'm afraid if they knew that I lose control with this emotional eating **** they'd lose motivation

I don't starve myself which is why this is so surprising to me my deficit at this point is -300. Just venting cuz I was caught off guard. Sorry for bothering you guys but I really appreciate the responses. Always crazy support on this site. Keep doing what you're doing folks you're all awesome

Please don't apologize for bothering anyone. That's what this site is for.

Calories are at 2100. I wasn't even hungry and I knew I would feel like **** but it was like blackout fata** mode. When I was younger I never felt guilt from eating. Why is food such a big issue now. This body image ****. I miss the days when I didn't care. I was happier when I was fat it's crazy

If you were happy fat, then why did you decide to start losing weight? I think most of us (maybe not you, I don't know you) might idolize the times when we ate whatever we wanted, but we forget about the times we looked in the mirror and cried, or saw pictures of ourselves at a party and felt sick, or ate a bunch of terrible food and had no energy.

And in the long run, many people who claim to be "fat and happy" are not happy after their 3rd heart attack.

I used to say I was happier when I was fat all the time too. I used to pine for the days where I could eat what I wanted without having to plan out a days worth of calories or have to go to bed hungry if I was irresponsible, or could go out with friends to wherever and not panic about what was available. I guess a lot of recent stress and the nostalgia for when eating was easier kinda lead me back into all my old habits, I practically ate nothing but fast food for a couple weeks straight!! At first I felt so good, finally had that freedom back , could lay around, relax and knock back some McDonalds if I wanted :laugh: ... then I started feeling sick, emotionally and physically. I would normally chalk up that extended binge as a big huge fail on my part but in a way this time I take it as a lesson. It re-taught me that no, having the freedom to eat whatever I wanted was not worth the emotional toll I'd have to pay or even the physical toll of feeling lethargic and sick. It reminded me that I was NOT happy when I was fat but allowed to eat freely. Hell it reminded me that I'll take even the days with the hardest workouts and blandest meals ever that fit to my cal targets over even the laziest of days filled with whatever good foods. Anyway my point is try to use your binges as a lesson if you can, whether you're learning that you need a higher cal target or that maybe you need to try to fit in more treats into your macros or maybe even as a reminder that whatever goals you are working towards ARE worth it Nothing is ever a failure if you can turn it around to your advantage!