preteen is over-weight

I have a different opinion on this. I was always heavy as a teenager, and I wish my parents had taught me about calorie counting, or taught me what a proper serving size was!
Good for you on teaching your child this. I feel like I have done all sorts of diets EXCEPT calorie counting. And you know what the funny thing is, the calorie counting one is the only way of eating that I don't feel hungry, or deprived, and I've done tons of diets.

Is it possible your preteen is gaining muscle?

Check your kitchen... how much junk food is in there. If it is there, get rid of it. How many meals did she have last week that came from a fast food restuarant? Unfortunately, eating healthy usually means eating at home. More work for you, but great benefits for the whole family. Good luck to you. My daughter was overweight, but I was in denial about it. Now she is 30 and has always been overweight. I agree with another poster that it is better to just push healthy eating and not counting calories.

This is so sad, i have no advice to give as i do not know what the right answer is, it's a tricky situation to be in, i think you need to seek some professional help here and speak to your Dr first perhaps there is a physical reason for her weight gain if she is eating right and being active, perhaps her thyroid needs to be checked, you also need to make sure she is eating the right amount of calories for her age e.t.c (not sure what that is your Dr can advise best)

i do feel it is important to try get this under control now but without instilling insecurity in her too, you don't want to end up with her having an eating disorder - this needs to be dealt with very carefully

again please seek some professional help on this so you can make sure emotionally and practically it is being handled properly

wish you all the best

I would not stress her over calories. Keep healthy food options in the house and keep being active with her, maybe take a nutrition class together to learn how healthy foods can fuel your body better. I remember being overweight at that age and while my parents knew nothing about healthy eating they did encourage activity and focused on how I felt about myself vs me being overweight. They never commented that I was overweight or fat and I appreciate that to this day because I already knew it and heard it from kids at school. I know everyone is different but I felt much better about myself with their encouragement, I feel like being put on a calorie counting/workout schedule would have been miserable at that age. I'm not saying you're commenting on her being overweight or anything, but I assume the calorie counting was your idea and in my mind I would have been thinking "oh, my mom thinks I'm fat and wants me to lose weight" which would have added tenfold to the feeling bad about myself.

My daughter is 11 and she is 148lbs. We are on the calorie counting thing, thingand we exercise everyday. But is is still gaining weight. At least a lb a week. Can someone give me any suggestions on what i should do. Im tired of my baby crying and saying she will always be fat no matter what she does. Im trying to stay postive but its starting to worry me. If you have an suggestions, i would appreciate it.

have you talked to her about what she might be eating when you aren't around? if you are both eating an appropriate amount of calories and exercising, and she isn't losing then its really just one of two things: a medical problem, or she's eating privately. I used to sneak food into my room to eat, and take every chance I could outside the home to eat. and I would eat a lot on my own, because I knew that at home I'd have to be a lot more restrictive.

For all the people saying not to create stress for her about her weight... what is the alternative? wait until she has more years of unhealthy habits to battle? I think as long as you stay positive with her, and make sure she knows that her self-worth isn't tied to her weight, then dealing realistically with her problems is the best thing you can do for her.

ETA: i want to acknowledge that she's going through puberty and some weight gain from growth and filling out is of course expected, but if the gain you see seems to be unhealthy weight, instead of her hips just filling out, that's when you'd need to be concerned. I figured that was implied, but i just wanna point it out.

Im not putting pressure on my daughter. I tell her everyday that she will grow into her body. But the other children at school is the ones making fun of her and calling her names. There is no unhealthy snakes at our house and when we come home from grocery store we portion everything out. I dont want people to think its me pushing the weight loss with her. She wants to do it and i am going to do whatever i can to make sure she is doing the most healthy thing possibe.

Actually, that she's so motivated to count calories really concerns me because this is exactly the age where eating disorders run rampant in young girls. It's easy to be frustrated and to turn to extremes.

I really think getting some medical advice is still best, just so SHE hears it from someone "professional" because kids will often take the advice from others before their parents.

I don't have an answer, but I always wonder why we don't teach kids about calories. We say teach them portion control which is basically a generic calorie count. But, as we see here, we are all different in our caloric needs.. I am breastfeeding so I can have a bigger portion of certain foods. We need to make health and calories about science- teach our kids we keep track of calories in order to supply ourselves with proper energy. How many people are completely ignorant about calories here on MFP (myself included)? I would rather teach my kids how to eat properly over learning from friends and the Internet.

In your case though, she is about to hit puberty so that might be a culprit. A talk to your doctor might be good just to make sure he is healthy otherwise. I wouldn't weigh her except for the doctors- that puts the focus on the numbers. Just be active as a family and eat healthy. Have her find healthy recipes and cook them together and show her how to properly measure food.

IMO calorie counting isn't the norm. I grew up with disordered eating for a number of reasons and will probably have to log for the rest of my life, it's a pain in the rear. My goal with my children is to encourage eating the right foods when they're hungry and not eating when they're not in hopes they won't HAVE to count every calorie. Obviously if weight issues develop with them we can talk about it. But that's my thought process.

the girl is 11 years old and you are going to add the pressure to her to be a certain weight. preteen and teenage girls already have enough problems and you are only adding to her problems

You're right, it's much better that she love herself while developing diabetes than to fit a healthy, society mandated image.

Better yet, we could all do a better job of staying at a "Healthy" weight. At some point you have to be an adult.

No. Being overweight is *NOT* okay.

the girl is 11 years old and you are going to add the pressure to her to be a certain weight. preteen and teenage girls already have enough problems and you are only adding to her problems

You're right, it's much better that she love herself while developing diabetes than to fit a healthy, society mandated image.

Better yet, we could all do a better job of staying at a "Healthy" weight. At some point you have to be an adult.

No. Being overweight is *NOT* okay.

and it is not normal or healthy for an 11 year old to go around counting calories either.