Why do people assume...

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Mustang_Susie
Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
in Motivation and Support
... that if you are, in their words, "so skinny" you

1) don't need to exercise
2) don't need to count calories
3) "need" to eat more to "put some meat on your bones"
4) are being ridiculous

I get the whole jealousy angle, so we don't even need to re-visit that.

Do people really not get that if I ate more I would weigh more?
Do they really think that maintaining my weight is just an automatic given no matter what I eat or if I never exercise?
That I'll just be "skinny" no matter what?

For the record, I am at a healthy weight for my height.
I don't want to lose, just maintain, eat healthy, exercise consistently and continue to improve my overall fitness.
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Replies

  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
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    I got comments like that when I was thin. I've gotten similarly inappropriate comments now that I'm fat. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's really annoying.

    I think it happens for a range of reasons: people trying (and failing) to be helpful, people projecting their own insecurities, people making small talk (badly), people all up in your business, etc. Their comments say more about them than you.
  • aronao
    aronao Posts: 112 Member
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    Honestly, people should just mind their own business when it comes to how much other people weigh or how they look. I think some times there are good but misplaced intentions, other times it's jealousy and other times it's just pure meanness. Ignore them.
  • karl39x
    karl39x Posts: 586 Member
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    Bet you a hundred dollars all those people who said those things were fat. People who say that are just jealous and hate that they can't look like you.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
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    I agree that people think you are "naturally" healthy and at your correct weight. I used to be fat!!! I have gained and lost but for the last 9 months, I have been maintaining at my current weight and feel great. I get comments like "oh you don't understand, you are sooooo thin". Yes, I understand. I have been there. I just smile, remember when and thank myself for not having dessert, mayo, fried foods etc. At lunch, I ask for everything w/out dressing, mayo etc. Grilled, not fried. I guess they don't see all that or just don't pay attention to it!!!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    ... that if you are, in their words, "so skinny" you

    1) don't need to exercise
    2) don't need to count calories
    3) "need" to eat more to "put some meat on your bones"
    4) are being ridiculous

    I get the whole jealousy angle, so we don't even need to re-visit that.

    Do people really not get that if I ate more I would weigh more?
    Do they really think that maintaining my weight is just an automatic given no matter what I eat or if I never exercise?
    That I'll just be "skinny" no matter what?

    For the record, I am at a healthy weight for my height.
    I don't want to lose, just maintain, eat healthy, exercise consistently and continue to improve my overall fitness.

    a lot of people say i am 'naturally skinny' which drives me mad....

    i'm not, i lost 18lbs and now eat healthy and work out regularly to keep it off... but people dont want to hear that! its easier to believe, while shovelling doughnuts down their throat which i decline, that i have good genes and they dont!
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    I think it is, if they don't know you, they might assume you are naturally skinny and if they do the think you have lost the weight so you can stop dieting now. When I say anything about watching the cals or not having that my mum will say, you don't need to lose anymore. I have to explain to her that I am not trying to lose more I am just trying not to put it back on. She'll say, oh yeah and then the next time will say the same again lol
  • adriayellow11
    adriayellow11 Posts: 140
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    I got once "oh she's a dancer, it's genetic for her to look like that". Um, yes I was a dancer and no that's not genetic. It's a LOT of WORK and that's why. I have devised a comeback for comments that undermine my attempts at staying optimally healthy: Yes I count calories and try to exercise very hard...How do you think I stay fit?
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I got comments like that when I was thin. I've gotten similarly inappropriate comments now that I'm fat. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's really annoying.

    I think it happens for a range of reasons: people trying (and failing) to be helpful, people projecting their own insecurities, people making small talk (badly), people all up in your business, etc. Their comments say more about them than you.

    This.

    People seem to think thin can so easily be achieved. The media has taught them that they don't have to do any "real" work beyond a pill, a quick fix, a plate of vegetables. So they don't think that you ARE working hard.

    It's maddening.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I get comments like that now. Mainly from one woman who is twice the size I used to be. Another tells me I should stop losing weight now.

    I wish I could say to them that they should stop putting on weight & get some exercise rather than waiting for the bus to take them 1km down the road.
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
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    I believe that there are just some people out there that build themselves up by trying to tear others down. In the past I have had friends like that (obviously they are toxic and you end up weeding them out of your life). I try not to let what others say affect me negatively. Just makes me work that much harder... :wink:
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    buy some earplugs. problem solved.

    tumblr_inline_mk4oeeIJEE1qz4rgp.gif
  • Rockstar_JILL
    Rockstar_JILL Posts: 514 Member
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    What they don't realize is that it still takes work to maintain our losses and keep the bodies we got after we lost all of the weight. I have heard those comments too....Just ignore them if you can. :)
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    Yeah.....my boyfriend's mother was over at our place when my BF% calipers got delivered in the mail. I opened them because I was excited about getting my package and wanted to see it! She asked what it was and I told her. She goes, "What is there to measure? You're tiny! You probably have zero body fat!" LOL, no. Then I have people telling me I should workout less and eat more. Really? I think I'd like to maintain my current weight, which I have been for MONTHS now. Why would I change what I'm doing if I've been successfully maintaining for so long? Right, I wouldn't.

    I think that some people are genuinely concerned, (not because they need to be, but because they're not educated on fitness/nutrition). Some may think that by saying things like this, that they're giving you a compliment. Even though it ends up being pretty annoying. Whenever someone says something like this to me, I always just smile and tell them that I'm not trying to lose more weight, just trying to maintain my current weight, or maybe even gain some muscle weight! When they hear me say I might even want to gain a little, that usually shuts them up.
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
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    ... that if you are, in their words, "so skinny" you

    1) don't need to exercise
    2) don't need to count calories

    ...


    People fail to realise I am "so skinny" (I'm definitely not - I'm a healthy weight / BF%) BECAUSE I exercise and eat calories. If I stopped doing so I certainly would not be.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I find it flattering. Lighten up
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
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    I'm (sadly!) not yet at the weight where poeple assume I'm naturlly skinny. But as most people I know have now seen me fat I hope to avoid those comments. I know I'm going to ahve to continue to work even when I reach my target. But I'm OK with that.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    I find it flattering. Lighten up

    high 5 girl!

    tumblr_ml91unNZLv1r4xh8wo1_400.gif
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
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    My male cousins told me I don't need to lose any more weight which I took as a compliment. I mean, they haven't seen me naked so they were saying I looked good in clothes but personally I know I can lose a few more pounds and have a lot of toning up to do.

    My mother also said I didn't want to go under 135lbs but at the end of the day its up to me what I do with my body.

    I'm really hoping when I get to the maintenance stage that I won't have to count calories anymore or exercise quite so much. I usually find my weight sticks around certain numbers and I can eat what I like but I don't know what will happen now that I weigh less than I ever remember.

    You just have to do whats right for you and ignore all the silly comments
  • kegger1997
    kegger1997 Posts: 74
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    i am one of the 2 smallest in my family of 6 (5girls) and i used to get that A LOT from my friends.

    "you don't need to lose weight"

    i tell them it is not a diet, it is a lifestyle change. i am in for life to stay heathy for me. and no one needs to know my secret. let them think what they want to think
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    I get comments like that now. Mainly from one woman who is twice the size I used to be. Another tells me I should stop losing weight now.

    I wish I could say to them that they should stop putting on weight & get some exercise rather than waiting for the bus to take them 1km down the road.

    I don't tell overweight people to eat less.
    I don't tell overweight people to exercise.
    That would be mean, right?

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