my 13 year old wants to lose weight

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rosem1020
rosem1020 Posts: 41 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
so I am trying to help my daughter thin out a little. she is 13 and around 170 lbs. i am looking to see how many calories she should be eating a day. any ideas on how I can help her shed her unwanted pounds. i want her to do it the absolute slowest healthiest way she can - no crash atkins or low cal. she needs to learn how to live a healthy lifestyle for the rest of her life not to diet for the rest of her life.

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  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
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    Don't have her counting calories. Make better choices for her when shopping, don't allow her so much sugary, fatty foods, if she eats a lot of them - and find something fun and active you can do with her. The Wii is good, lots of fun stuff on there. Maybe even try a reward system with her, like a dollar for every pound lost, or something small she might want for every 10lbs lost. Just make sure if you're going to confront her with this, you make it about her health, not her appearance.

    She needs to learn healthy habits first and foremost, and I personally think it would be best for her to be able to do that without having to count calories. It is possible, if she can develop the habits early enough in life. I mean, no one really wants to HAVE to count calories, but many of us do because we've just gone too long having bad habits or eating disorders. Good luck to you and your daughter. :)
  • rmtuesley
    rmtuesley Posts: 39 Member
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    I wouldn't suggest counting calories as a first step. She is still growing, puberty can really mess with girls bodies at that age. They can gain a bunch of weight and then grow three inches quick! Instead, focus on healthy eating. Good nutritious foods and snacks. Have her help make healthy dinners. Then start doing healthy fun activities as a family so that it isn't just focused on her weight. Make it a family affair instead of just about her, and she will be a lot healthier emotionally. Girls who start counting calories early are at great risks for eating disorders and non healthy relationships with foods. They can easily develop poor self esteem. Just keep telling her how beautiful she is and that you want to focus on getting healthier as a family. If you make these changes and she is still very overweight for her height, talk to a nutritionist or doctor who works with kids about a healthy way for a growing child to lose weight
  • rosem1020
    rosem1020 Posts: 41 Member
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    this is not about me wanting her to lose weight, she has come to me about this and I want to do everything I can to help her with this. I want her to grow into a healthy adult and not have the same battles I have with weight. she really doesn't eat that much and doesn't drink any sugary drinks at all. only drinks milk or water. is it possible to just be in her genes. it feels like no matter what she eats, she contiunes to gain weight and I have no answers as to why other than is she fat just because I am?
  • rmtuesley
    rmtuesley Posts: 39 Member
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    Again, healthy activities with her. It sounds like you want to lose weight to, so it is a win/win. I understand she wants to be skinny, you just need to put the focus on her being healthy as opposed to trying to get to some magic number on the scale. 13 years olds don't necessarily know what foods are healthy until they are taught. So have her help you make meals. Talk about why the ingredients are good for you. Teach her what carbs, fats, proteins are. When my kids were three we were talking about what part of their meals were the carbs, proteins, veggies (yes, I know they are carbs but wanted to stress their importance to my three year old :).

    You need to instill a lifestyle in her, and you probably don't want that lifestyle to be calorie counting.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
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    this is not about me wanting her to lose weight, she has come to me about this and I want to do everything I can to help her with this. I want her to grow into a healthy adult and not have the same battles I have with weight. she really doesn't eat that much and doesn't drink any sugary drinks at all. only drinks milk or water. is it possible to just be in her genes. it feels like no matter what she eats, she contiunes to gain weight and I have no answers as to why other than is she fat just because I am?

    It's not uncommon to think it's genetic, I probably would too if I were you. The best thing you can do is take her to a doctor or nutritionist and have some blood work done, check her thyroid, hormones, etc. Rule out any physical reasons she might be gaining weight, and if / when you have done that, then you can start fixing her diet and work on getting some exercise into her daily routine.

    I think, and this is just my opinion, you are her mother and you know what is best for her, but I think it would be best if you focus more on the overall content of her diet, rather than counting calories, slim down her portions a bit, and definitely focus on getting her to be more active. Does she do any extracurricular activities in school or outside of school? Does she play outside at all? Does she spend a lot of time watching TV, playing video games, or on the computer? If she is sitting around a lot, it definitely could be contributing to her weight. Kids need a lot of activity day to day.

    Little things that could also help her with eating: Make sure to tell her to chew thoroughly, and put silverware down in between bites. Drinking a sip of water or milk in between each bite also helps in feeling full, and taking the time in between allows the stomach more time to fill and for the brain to recognize it is full. If she eats one serving of food and still says she's hungry - tell her to wait 20 minutes - most of the time, after 20 minutes, the stomach feels more full and the hungry feeling goes away. Again, good luck to you and your daughter. :flowerforyou:
  • Rungirl29
    Rungirl29 Posts: 10
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    My 11 year old wanted to lose weight before her 12th birthday in July. I agree about not having her count calories. She's too young for that type of stress. Instead, I stopped buying fatty, unhealthy foods and she does Xbox live's Dance Central almost every evening for about 45 minutes. She started 3 weeks ago and she's lost 7 lbs.

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