I don't know how to feel good about myself.

i feel your pain, i lost 2 stone last year, and have put one back on again, but i am back on track now! (5 stone still to go) the trick is to never give up on yourself! you are worth it, you quite obviously want to lose weight, but you are scared of failing again! just start, change your mind set, we are not "dieting" we are getting fit & healthy again, we are eating proper food, no junk, no rubbish, just good wholesome food that makes us feel better, we can and will do it! gyms are always full of "skinny lycra lovlies", i avoid it, do the excercise YOU like, i go to a fitness class twice a week, walk the dog, cycle to work, put a cd on and dance while doing housework, whatever makes you move is great!!! you deseve to feel good, we all do, but you just have to start! count your calories, make healthy food choices, do some excercise everyday! i plan my weeks menu, only buy what i need, (no biscuits, crisps etc) so i cant be tempted, and stick to it! add me a friend if you like!! good luck, but please just start! xx

First of all, you sound like you could use a hug. You remind me of someone I know very well: me. You can do this. One day and one step at a time. For nearly twenty years I didn't like myself. Wouldn't even look in a mirror because then I'd have to see what I didn't want to see. I finally got tired of that and made myself look. I've got a few ideas for you.
Number one, give hubby his old clothes back. Do they make cute workout clothes in your size? Research it. If you don't find something you like, find a pretty top and a pair of shorts or yoga pants that you like. Make sure they are comfortable enough to work out in and pick colors that bring a smile to your face. Wearing clothes that are too loose make you look bigger and more importantly, it makes you feel bad about yourself.
Next, about those food items that are hard to resist. What works for me is I either don't buy them or make them unless I truly, truly want it. Even then, I don't allow much of it within reach. If your downfall is chocolate, like mine, buy one good candy bar when you want it. If I know there is chocolate in the house, I tend to get cravings for it and start justifying a brownie here or a mini chocolate piece there until I gain five or 6 pounds (which is what prompted me to check out MFP in the first place. I got tired of the numbers going up). If it's cheetos that cause you to eat till the bag is empty, either buy the snack size bags one at a time or put the snacks in serving size bags and put them in an out of the way spot. My hubby keeps his sodas in the car because although I've taken myself off of Pepsi, if I see it in the house I'm more likely to want it. Fill the fridge and the pantry with bags of veggies and small containers already portioned out with a single serving of hummus or whatever your favorite dip is.
Now. Talk to your husband about what type of support you need. Give him your thoughts. As for the gym, are there classes that do fit into your schedule? Would you be able to work with a trainer?
And finally, don't compare yourself to your husband or anyone else. Losing 30 pounds is a great accomplishment! You've done it once, you can do it again. There is lots of support here on MFP, plus you have your husband. And you can feel free to add me if you wish. You can do this if you're ready.

At some point, you will make the decision to be healthier. Not to be skinny, not to compete with your husband, not to compete with anyone BUT yourself. At that time, nothing will stand in your way. No excuse, no deep-fried something, no cute gym clothes will prevent you from reaching your goal. You will slip up and you will come back. This is not a race, it is an obstacle-filled journey. And it's not how you end the journey, but how you handle the obstacles that will make you a strong, healthy person. You will do exercises you never thought you could. You will hate them at the time, then you will be proud of yourself for completing them.

I can't make you do any of this. No friend, no family, no personal trainer can set you on this path. You are the only one who can decide that TODAY is the day I make ONE small change to a healthier me.

Bon voyage!

What makes you feel motivated?

Someone commented they bought some hot running shoes - good starting point. Put in the effort to make yourself feel good. I dont think wearing your hubby's old gym clothes is really helping your case. I wouldn't feel good running around in my hubby's current clothes let alone in his old clothes from 100lbs ago (not that he has lost 100lbs). Get my point though?

Life is a series of choices and you have the choice to make good decisions to feed your mind, body and soul. Make choices that you make you proud and feel good about yourself. Start small, buy new runners. Buy a cute gym outfit, and do what you like to do.

Also, you could try to just record for the new two weeks everything that you have eaten. Don't try to cut out anything just keep going the way that you have been. Then, focus on cutting down 300-500 calories per day from what you were at. You'll be able to see easy places to cut. Example, you have a glass of juice for breaky so now, only have a half glass of juice. Say you normally have a bowl of ice cream for dessert, now, just have 3/4 of a bowl or half a bowl and slowly you'll see those cals add up but in a deficit.

Men just lose weight easier and faster than women. However, they die younger and WE have multiple orgasms, so it evens out.

LOL LOVE THIS!

I've struggle with weight my whole life. I've lost and gained the same weight repeatedly. I restarted my adventure again last May. I call it an adventure for my motivation. Sometimes it's smooth sailing and sometimes it's a rough climb. Finding ways to motivate myself is always a challenge, because it's so much easier to give up on the bad days then it is to keep going.

So far, I've been able to lose 30 lbs which is great and I'm really proud but I've struggle with motivation because I haven't had to buy new clothes. I've lost all over but not enough to change my size. That's really hard to grasp and sometimes has made me feel like I'm not doing enough or not trying. I finally realized that I can only work as hard as I'm able and that my body is adjusting to what I'm doing. To motivate myself, I started looking at parts of myself. OK, so I haven't changed sizes, but I can see how lose my pants are in the legs or just a little easier to button. And My t-shirts are no longer tight across the back. It's made me happy by focusing on the little things.

I've also tried to stop focussing on the numbers. That's been a big motivation. Some weeks, I work out 5 days and see no change and other times I would work out once and see a change. By focusing on how I feel and less on the numbers I am feeling better about my journey.

There's no secret to it or anything we can really tell you. It's inside you!

Try looking into different TYPES of exercise if the treadmill isn't inspiring you. Try group classes. Zumba is amazing for weight loss and almost always all women.

Make a new workout playlist.
Buy new workout clothes you feel good in.
Look up positive affirmations and practice saying them with INTENTION three times a day.

Most importantly; the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. :flowerforyou:

What's worked for me is to have set days when I can eat the "naughty" foods. I eat pretty much whatever I want (within reason) on Saturdays and Sundays. The rest of the time, I'm eating at a deficit that will allow me to indulge a bit on weekends and not exceed my calorie goal. This has worked for me because when I get that craving for french fries, for example, I can put it out of my head by knowing that on Saturday I can eat them. When Saturday comes, I sometimes don't even want them anymore, but if I do, it's even nicer because I've been looking forward to them.

OP - you need to find your motivation within. No one else can give it to you. The good news about that is no one can take it away either.

^Yep!

Start the Couch to 5k program. When you are running for 30 minutes straight at the end of 9 weeks, you'll feel awesome about yourself.

Of course, that's only if you like running...

"Why does everyone have to be so mean!!!!"

WTF? This was meant to be funny. There is NOTHING mean about it. Jeez...

I thought it was REALLY funny!!

I feel so right there with you. Lost weight last year and was hyper focused on the whole process. After a set back at the beginning of this year I haven't been able to hold onto that old motivation. Realized this morning that I don't feel adequate and am in a never ending cycle.

I will definitely be reading through this thread when I have time and if anyone wants to add me as a friend, just send me a request with a note.

there is a book by judith beck called the beck diet solution that helps with the self-sabotage and motivation issues that you have when you are trying to make a really big change. you can check it out of your library. it took me about 5 years to lose 10 pounds, but i kept trying, kept educating myself, kept reading success stories, kept learning new healthy habits - and a whole bunch of those habits have stuck so well that i know that i will be able to get the remaining 20 off this year.

many posters have said that the motivation comes from within - and it really does - you may have the motivation inside you and then talk yourself out of being motivated - that's what self-sabotage is.

it's hard work - really hard work to use up the energy we've stored on our bodies. the great news is, it's possible - but fortunately, there's tons of help available. good luck!

I see my husband every day, too. I wouldn't want to compare myself to him. He's too wide in the shoulders, too small in the boobs, too flat in the *kitten*, and he has HAIR all over his FACE!

You have what is known as a compulsive eating disorder. The comments you have gotten about doing this for yourself and not coparing yourself to your husband are all great, but until you get to the root of your problem - the compulsive eating, you will only be putting a bandaid on what truly needs a stitch. Please, go and get some counseling - it is SO WORTH IT, because YOU ARE WORTH IT! If you can't afford it, or your health insurance won't pay for it check with your local county Department of Social Services - they often know of counselors who work on a sliding scale or sometimes there are even free clinics.
Please believe me, I am speaking from experience, mine. I could diet all year and then put it all back on because until I worked on the root of the problem, what causes my uncontrolled eating, I couldn't get a handle on it and it is always the same yo yo!
I wish you loads of luck!