Counting Calories: Not for Me
ArchangelMJ
Posts: 308 Member
(Brace yourself for brutal honesty, lol.)
Okay, so I've just realized that I really need to stop counting calories. I can't seem to manage without being subdued by ED behaviors (in my case, binging/purging) I don't know that I'd consider what I have to be bulimia, (due to frequency) but I definitely have exhibited bulimic tendencies off and on for at least the past year. While I became far more obsessed with weight-loss/body image/fitness than I've ever been in my life, I didn't start binging and purging until I began counting calories.
In the past I lost 20 lbs, and while I wasn't at my goal weight of 135, (which some would consider low for 5'9", but it'd be a 19.9 BMI, which I think is perfectly fine for my frame.) I was the happiest I'd ever been with my weight. However, I was far from satisfied with my body fat percentage, and I started counting calories in an effort to lower it and lose more. I found that I became far too obsessed with food and that it was a hindrance more than a help. In fact, I had lost the weight previously without counting calories. (though I did count exercise calories for a while)
Within a few months I gained the weight back, and when I decided to seriously lose it again, I started counting calories. At first it seemed like a good idea, but I've come to realize it's just counterproductive for me. I was so focused on measuring every morsel and all I'd think about was what I was going to eat and when. It was distracting me from other priorities and it's culminated in binging/purging cycles that I'm far from proud of. So, I'm not going to count anymore and I think I may be fine with that, despite some fear and anxiety.
Has anyone else decided that counting isn't for them? Frankly, I have a lot of issues, and I realize that as someone who's normal weight, and apparently prone to ED behaviors, that it makes sense that it doesn't work for me. But can anyone else relate? (btw, I've never used the MFP diary thing, I just tracked on my own in a notebook, and I didn't even do 1200 calories, that's *way* too low for me, lol.)
Okay, so I've just realized that I really need to stop counting calories. I can't seem to manage without being subdued by ED behaviors (in my case, binging/purging) I don't know that I'd consider what I have to be bulimia, (due to frequency) but I definitely have exhibited bulimic tendencies off and on for at least the past year. While I became far more obsessed with weight-loss/body image/fitness than I've ever been in my life, I didn't start binging and purging until I began counting calories.
In the past I lost 20 lbs, and while I wasn't at my goal weight of 135, (which some would consider low for 5'9", but it'd be a 19.9 BMI, which I think is perfectly fine for my frame.) I was the happiest I'd ever been with my weight. However, I was far from satisfied with my body fat percentage, and I started counting calories in an effort to lower it and lose more. I found that I became far too obsessed with food and that it was a hindrance more than a help. In fact, I had lost the weight previously without counting calories. (though I did count exercise calories for a while)
Within a few months I gained the weight back, and when I decided to seriously lose it again, I started counting calories. At first it seemed like a good idea, but I've come to realize it's just counterproductive for me. I was so focused on measuring every morsel and all I'd think about was what I was going to eat and when. It was distracting me from other priorities and it's culminated in binging/purging cycles that I'm far from proud of. So, I'm not going to count anymore and I think I may be fine with that, despite some fear and anxiety.
Has anyone else decided that counting isn't for them? Frankly, I have a lot of issues, and I realize that as someone who's normal weight, and apparently prone to ED behaviors, that it makes sense that it doesn't work for me. But can anyone else relate? (btw, I've never used the MFP diary thing, I just tracked on my own in a notebook, and I didn't even do 1200 calories, that's *way* too low for me, lol.)
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Replies
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Yes I had the same problem and I just saw a post out there pretty much discribing that
we are all different and what works for one at some point in their life might not work for you or work for you at the time you try it... It has leaded me to binging/ starvation mode at time too.
Good luck with everything and Hope we manage to accept ourselves the way we are most time than not !! I think it's about being happy in your own skin even if you feel their is room for impropvement 0 -
the other post I mentioned is "TOPIC: Mfp has cause more harm than good for me from Graelwyn750
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You. Are. Not. A. Special. Snowflake.
Chances are you're just doing it wrong.
Did you even bother reading her post? She wasn't complaining about not being able to lose weight.
EDIT: OP, it's not for everyone. It can make people with underlying ED's or another type of disorder worse. I hope you feel better soon, and find a way that works for you. :flowerforyou:0 -
Well done for recognising the pattern and realising the trigger. If you find your still struggling with the issues when you stop counting, then seek professional advice!
For those with the snowflake and get a grip comment... Not helpful.
Zara0 -
You. Are. Not. A. Special. Snowflake.
Chances are you're just doing it wrong.
Love it when people don't even bother reading the post0 -
^ Seriously! How rude the first two responses are! Obviously did not read the post or understand what they're talking about!
Anyway OP, I can see what you're saying & a lot of people have the same issue. Have you tried maybe looking at things in a different way, like instead of seeing things negatively (only can have/ limit to a certain number of calories) & look at a more positive angle: Look at goals you want to have in food. Like having at least 30 grams of fiber a day, or 100 grams of protein - whatever your macros may be. That's what I do a lot. If I'm halfway through my day & thinking about eating something, I think of what I need more of for the day. Try not to think of food as something you have to limit, so much as the things you SHOULD be eating. Honestly, when you're trying to goal yourself for all the good things you want to get throughout the day, you really won't have a lot of room to eat crap.
Hope that helps a bit! 0 -
Maybe a psychologist can help you with the binging and purging thing. It's a psychological thing.0
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First of all, please ignore the rude commentors who stepped in merely to make themselves feel cool. It's quite the common thing around the message boards.
Secondly, if counting calories arises ED tendencies in you, I strongly suggest to stop counting calories. I don't count mine either, because doing so can cause psychological issues for me. It just doesn't work.
As far as being a special snowflake, you are in fact. Every one who is a member here has a unique story and if someone doesn't want to count calories, so be it.0 -
i hear u i feel for u!!! i get so stressed sometimes about calories. when i binge i end up taking laxatives to purge and i hate it. i hope your ok and if u want to talk about just message me best of luck 0
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(Brace yourself for brutal honesty, lol.)
Okay, so I've just realized that I really need to stop counting calories. I can't seem to manage without being subdued by ED behaviors (in my case, binging/purging) I don't know that I'd consider what I have to be bulimia, (due to frequency) but I definitely have exhibited bulimic tendencies off and on for at least the past year. While I became far more obsessed with weight-loss/body image/fitness than I've ever been in my life, I didn't start binging and purging until I began counting calories.
were your calories too low?
bingeing is a normal survival response to eating too few calories. That doesn't mean all bingeing is caused by that, because sometimes it's purely a psychological thing, but IMO that needs to be ruled out before diagnosing yourself with a psychological problem. So when someone only starts binge eating in response to calorie counting or any particular diet they started, IMO there's a strong likelihood that they were undereating significantly, and the binges were the body's survival responses kicking in. Purging is not a survival response, but it is a response to the binge that just happened, most people feel really guilty after a binge, because they think they did something bad and terrible.... rather than seeing it for what it is, a survival response caused by eating too little. many people respond to binges by being more restrictive with their diet or exercising excessively, or purging, and all of these actually make the problem worse, not better, because the body is still deprived of the food that it needs, the survival response of bingeing is going to kick in again sooner or later, and the more restrictive you are, the more likely it's going to happen sooner rather than later.
The way to stop this, is to stop the excessive calorie restriction. Bring your calorie intake back up to a healthy level. If you're already fairly lean, you should not eat less than TDEE -10%. If you are unable to do that due to psychological issues such as fear of weight gain, fear of eating that much, etc, then seek professional help. Additionally, if you're absolutely certain that you were not undereating, and that the bingeing is purely psychological, seek professional help for that.0 -
I totally understand...took me awhile to stop obsessing and realize its not just about the calories...sometimes thats hard for people and can make them obsessed to an unhealthy degree....
but remember that bodyfat that you want isnt just about the counting calories its about the overall nutrition and the workout..
i would stop counting for awhile and just track the workouts you are doing, eat normally , GOOD LUCK0 -
Whilst you need a calorie deficit to lose body fat you don't need to count a single calorie to achieve that state.
Calorie counting isn't for everyone. In fact, many people are incredibly successful without it.
Try something else that is a good fit for you.0 -
I've gone through weird patches whilst using this site - but I've been using hypnotherapy to get on top of my emotional and psychological issues with food and now I'm completely happy with my tracking.0
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I second everything neander said, and add that I felt that calorie counting wasn't for me for the same basic reasons, that it makes me way to obsessive, but I have found using mfp detabase drastically easier than just the paper method. especially if you tend to eat the same foods or recipes throughout the month, once you've saved what you eat often or it's in the frequently used sections, it is much easier and becomes a few clicks in a matter of mins. I didn't need to track to lose, as long as I wasn't depressed, but I started tracking on here to work on eating more protein, 2x as much as I was used to actually, and I don't think i need to count most days.0
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for me personally, its that semi-obsession and ritual that allows me to control a previously uncontrollable habit of just eating and eating without thinking about what was going into my body at all. but I can ABSOLUTELY see that for someone else, it could push them over the edge towards unhealthy behaviors. I strongly recommend you see a professional about the binge/purge behavior. You said its a cycle you aren't proud of, but don't let that turn into an embarrassment that prevents you from getting help.
also, don't let anyone here, or anywhere else, tell you "you're doing it wrong" just bc counting calories isn't for you.0 -
You obviously have psychological problems.I think a lot of us here do.I do too,but in a different way( I don't purge,I just binge from time to time).
I think you need find out what really makes you binge and purge.If you can't do it on your own,maybe you should visit a psychologist.
I don't think it has anything with counting calories.It's all in your head.0 -
I've had unwanted psychological symptoms in the past while dieting, and when that happens I stop the diet. I'm doing this for my health, and having those symptoms is not healthy. I think that applies particularly if you're already at a "healthy" weight. It's just not worth the risk.
It might be best to stop calorie counting for now and see if the symptoms go. I have found that for me, stopping dieting solves the problem. If that's not the case for you, then please get some help with it.
I'm not having problems this time round and I'm not sure why. Maybe the following have helped: not eating too big a deficit, allowing "free" meals and treats, taking it slowly, not feeling guilty about eating, eating enough fat, eating enough generally. I'm sure I've read about a study showing that people deprived of calories started to become obsessive about food, so I feel the less deprivation the better!
Please ignore the mean comments here, and best of luck to you. I hope you get it sorted.0 -
I'd encourage undertaking some sort of activity that will build the mental toughness and resiliance you're lacking to succeed at anything in life.
I never feel the need to respond to this boards but this post is disgraceful, you should be ashamed of yourself.
You know nothing about the OP or her life, your comments could be really damaging (and are totally irrelevant, given the contents of the original post)0 -
Ignore all the people commenting about how it is just an act of willpower for you. I completely understand. Counting calories while already at a relatively healthy weight became the tipping point for me to develop an eating disorder. I lost track of my natural hunger cues, I am obsessed with food to the point of it being a psychological problem but I can't get myself out of the cycle of counting.
I think you should chat to a doctor - you are going to be much better off attempting a recovery program run specifically for people with eating disorders - that avoids many of the common things that can trigger our maladaptive behaviours.
You can get through this Talk to someone in real life (Not on this forum where people are known for being unsupportive and ridiculing eating disorders as a lack of willpower).
To the people *****ing about her post - How about you back up and educate yourself.0 -
I agree with the recommendations to ignore the people on this thread who don't understand. It's not your problem to make them understand. I also agree that you should talk with a doctor about getting some help. Calorie counting is not enough of a trigger if there is not an underlying issue. Calorie counting may not ever be for you, but it still seems like you could use someone to talk to. Best wishes!0
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Sounds like you need to get a grip. Your post just makes me think you don't have enough understanding of nutrition and how to manipulate it to make changes in your body.
Gee, I made it quite apparent that I have a problem with food. (Which is a symptom and not the main issue, as with anyone with an ED.) I'll try to get a grip though, just for you.
I'd actually say I know a considerable amount about nutrition. I'm certainly *not* an expert or professional by any means, but I've read a bevy of information about healthy weight-loss and nutrition, and I've learned many things about cooking and eating in more healthful ways. Please don't assume I'm ignorant and I won't assume you're a jerk by the insensitivity of your post. ^_^0 -
First of all, please ignore the rude commentors who stepped in merely to make themselves feel cool. It's quite the common thing around the message boards.
Secondly, if counting calories arises ED tendencies in you, I strongly suggest to stop counting calories. I don't count mine either, because doing so can cause psychological issues for me. It just doesn't work.
As far as being a special snowflake, you are in fact. Every one who is a member here has a unique story and if someone doesn't want to count calories, so be it.
Oh my gloob, thank you! It's nice to hear that someone understands what I mean without being a judgmental prick! XD I think that for some people, counting calories stirs up a very negative mantra in the brain that propels them to behave in an illogical and unhealthy way. I really don't think it's for everyone, regardless of whether one's doing it "right" or not. It aggravates me that some people assume there's only one right way for everyone. I think that part of my struggle has involved believing in that falsity.0 -
I'd encourage undertaking some sort of activity that will build the mental toughness and resiliance you're lacking to succeed at anything in life.
Woooow, THAT is the sweetest thing I've ever heard! You're giving me diabetes, like for serious. With angels pinions, you've just lifted my sullen day from the doldrums of despair. How will I ever repay you? ; )0 -
Does looking at your bank statement cause erratic spending?
Hxll Yes!
Plenty of $$ in the bank = not much interest in shopping
Broke with more month left = tempted by every impulse item in the store
The Principle of Scarcity does not just apply to macro economics.
The Doritos Conundrum:
I am having a good day, not worried about calories, I grab a handful of chips from the bag, put them on the plate, and eat them in the other room. I enjoy the eating experience while watching tv and don't think any else about it.
or
I'm having a bad day, I am going to go "over" on my calories, the bag says a serving size is 6 chips. I count six PERFECT chips onto a plate (no broken chips unless two broken ones count as one whole chip). I attempt to relish each individual chip without paying attention to tv or anything else around me because I ONLY HAVE SIX! The experience does not satiate but frustrates --- I end up sneaking downstairs at midnight and eating the rest of the bag.
I know I'm not the only one --- that's why I'm on here.
Perhaps we need to petition MFP to make Calories an OPTIONAL instead of required component of the Daily Diary.
Of course, it is to the advantage of their advertisers to keep us all counting our calories tightly and obsessing over those little details -- it makes us more susceptible to the ads for McDs, Chili's, etc. that are so pervasive on this "health" site.
Let us never forget that the true purpose of this site from the perspective of its owners is to sell ad space and make money.
All of our chatter and support and trolling etc. just provides them a more amble and successful medium for their merchandizing.0 -
^ Nice!0
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You. Are. Not. A. Special. Snowflake.
Chances are you're just doing it wrong.
Wow, did you even read the post?0 -
As far as being a special snowflake, you are in fact. Every one who is a member here has a unique story and if someone doesn't want to count calories, so be it.
The point is that the same rules apply to everyone as far as nutrition and diet are concerned unless you have diagnosed medical issues. The fact that the OP doesn't like counting calories because she becomes "too obsessed" is hardly a problem. You need to be obsessed to succeed. If anything it sound like she needs a psychiatrist.
Life tip: Please do not EVER try to speak to someone with any mental disorder, including eating disorders. You obviously have absolutely NO idea how these things work and how idiotic you sound.
OP, counting is not for everyone. I've had to stop a few times too because I found myself crying over whether to go out with my friends and go over on calories, or stay home all alone but keep to my goal. I don't think life should be like that. I've reached most of my weight loss goals and I'm much happier when I'm not counting calories. Do what works for you! Your mental health is just as important as your physical health!0 -
(Brace yourself for brutal honesty, lol.)
Okay, so I've just realized that I really need to stop counting calories. I can't seem to manage without being subdued by ED behaviors (in my case, binging/purging) I don't know that I'd consider what I have to be bulimia, (due to frequency) but I definitely have exhibited bulimic tendencies off and on for at least the past year. While I became far more obsessed with weight-loss/body image/fitness than I've ever been in my life, I didn't start binging and purging until I began counting calories.
were your calories too low?
bingeing is a normal survival response to eating too few calories. That doesn't mean all bingeing is caused by that, because sometimes it's purely a psychological thing, but IMO that needs to be ruled out before diagnosing yourself with a psychological problem. So when someone only starts binge eating in response to calorie counting or any particular diet they started, IMO there's a strong likelihood that they were undereating significantly, and the binges were the body's survival responses kicking in. Purging is not a survival response, but it is a response to the binge that just happened, most people feel really guilty after a binge, because they think they did something bad and terrible.... rather than seeing it for what it is, a survival response caused by eating too little. many people respond to binges by being more restrictive with their diet or exercising excessively, or purging, and all of these actually make the problem worse, not better, because the body is still deprived of the food that it needs, the survival response of bingeing is going to kick in again sooner or later, and the more restrictive you are, the more likely it's going to happen sooner rather than later.
The way to stop this, is to stop the excessive calorie restriction. Bring your calorie intake back up to a healthy level. If you're already fairly lean, you should not eat less than TDEE -10%. If you are unable to do that due to psychological issues such as fear of weight gain, fear of eating that much, etc, then seek professional help. Additionally, if you're absolutely certain that you were not undereating, and that the bingeing is purely psychological, seek professional help for that.
I think it's probably been both for me; the physical as well as the psychological. I'm familiar with the mental aspect, and I know why (to a certain extent) I'm triggered to behave irrationally. However, "fixing" it is not as simple as just will power, and I think there are some aspects of myself that will never be "fixed", so to speak.
I'd been trying to eat between 1500-1800 calories, and I'd considered upping them for the very reasons you've illustrated. However, I'm not sure it's going to do me any good. I have enough internal demons as it is, and the constant thought/allure/nag of food isn't helping accomplish any of my goals. That's why I think it may be best to stop counting at all. I feel as if the added stress is only hindering my progress.0 -
I understand what you are saying. I'm considering stopping with tracking, too.
My reason is that I still struggle with EDNOS tendencies, and I refuse to get sucked back into the ED world this many years outside of recovery (8 years ago - hospitalized and "recovered" but still kept the obsession up, disguised as dieting sometimes, and other times totally binge eating and gaining an insane amount of weight very quickly).
If MFP is making you more obsessed, then I agree it may be time to log off and stop counting. If you need MFP to make sure that you are eating enough, then maybe stick around and also look into seeking counseling for your ED behaviors.
Just a couple of thoughts, along with some (((HUGS))). :flowerforyou:0 -
Long story short, no, you do not have to count calories to loose weight. Many people choose to count calories because they never really thought about what theyw were eating before and counting the calories gives them that "wake up call." Some people count calories because they like the sense of control/ structure that comes with it. Others count for other reasons. Many healthy people do not count calories. They simply choose to exercize, eat healthily, eat when hungry, and eat reasonaable portions. People have been healthy for thousands of years without counting calories. As long as you are in a deficit, you will loose weight.
I count but I can relate to your choice not to. It really can make an ED worse. I, like you, have a tendency to obsess about my weight loss and food. I have come a long way, and while I have never binged and purged, in the past I have resorted to taking ephedrine based diet pills and have even gone as far as putting something in my mouth to eat it ( a doughnut hole) and then spitting it out. This was a wake up call for me. Seriously, that one doughnut hole was not going to make me obese or even overweight.
So sure, do not count if it makes you unhealthy. Instead try to walk or jog a local park for an hour every evening after dinner. Think of a healthy (key word here is HEALTHY, not just thin) body role model and maybe try to ask yourself questions throughout the day like "what did Jessica Alba do to get there?" or "How many of these could Jessica Alba eat everyday and still have her smoking bod?"0
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