MY HUSBAND LIKES ME FAT....MAJOR SABOTAGING!!!!

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  • FindingMyself24
    FindingMyself24 Posts: 613 Member
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    I've been married for over 22 years and have been overweight for the majority. My husband is fit, in the Air Force and runs and trains for 1/2 marathons. He ran four 1/2 marathons (13.1 miles each) in 120 days! I've lost about 20lbs from exercising and changing my eating habits. Hubby is deliberately going out and buying all of my old favorite foods like, Swedish Fish, Oreos, MdDonalds, ice cream and today 32 brownie bites! I'm trying my best not to take one bite of those brownie bites!!!!! Why would a spouse, not want their spouse to lose weight??????


    Oh gosh my hubby is the same way...its horrible....my husband will always be like oh lets go get you this or that...you know you dont wanna cook arent you tired blah blah...yep...he will bring tons of food and junk...plus it dont help that he eats it all the time lol
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    As my hubby always says he still loves me fat BUT he lusts after me thin! :tongue:
  • DawnEH612
    DawnEH612 Posts: 574 Member
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    He's insecure. If u loose weight hismthinkingis.. other guys might be interested or you'll realize other guys are interested and theres the threat of his loosing you to the competition!
  • Bettyeditor
    Bettyeditor Posts: 327 Member
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    I've been married for over 22 years and have been overweight for the majority. My husband is fit, in the Air Force and runs and trains for 1/2 marathons. He ran four 1/2 marathons (13.1 miles each) in 120 days! I've lost about 20lbs from exercising and changing my eating habits. Hubby is deliberately going out and buying all of my old favorite foods like, Swedish Fish, Oreos, MdDonalds, ice cream and today 32 brownie bites! I'm trying my best not to take one bite of those brownie bites!!!!! Why would a spouse, not want their spouse to lose weight??????

    Tell him that if he likes you curvy and wants to buy you stuff, to get you a gym membership and time with a personal trainer. Heavy lifting gives a women a tiny waist, perky *kitten*, and curves all over. But if you are doing something to improve your ability to live a long and healthy life to the fullest, he needs to get his *kitten* in gear and SUPPORT you. ;-)
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
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    Sometime if a person is around you everyday, you can't really tell the weight loss. People who haven't seen you in a few week can really see the difference. As for the junk food, I play a little mind trick/ game called let's see how much dust can gather on that crap. Use it as a "marker" as in "it's been 4 months since you bought that crap and I still haven't touched it.

    I got 3 can's of cokes in the back of my fridge that have been there for 3 months and they are like my little trophy's.

    haha love it. .. awesum job on the 3 trophys too!!! right on
    and great wt loss!
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Because your boobs are bigger.

    The truth is I'm sure that's stuff that you used to be grateful to your husband for. So he's probably just doing more of the same because he thinks it makes you happy.

    Congrats on the 20 pounds! It sounds like you're doing well regardless.
  • Snow3y
    Snow3y Posts: 1,412 Member
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    believe it or not, some people do like sort of thing ... weird ay? Do what makes YOU happy.. Either he really likes it, or he's doing it deliberately because he's afraid of you changing..
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    And he's a CMSgt. He used to having things his way.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    It's probably nothing sinister - there are probably fewer treats about the house since you started eating healthily so he's buying them himself and doing the polite thing and offering you some.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
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    Just let them sit on the side. Don't make a confrontation of it. If he says anything about wh you haven't eaten them, you could say something like you really appreciate his thoughtfullness, but as you can't eat them AND fit into that hot new bikini/summer dress/lingerie you want to buy for him to enjoy:wink: he should eat them/take them inot work to share with his colleagues.
  • Penny_Lane_
    Penny_Lane_ Posts: 163
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    HEY maybe he likes a little extra cushion for the pushing? XD
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    How have you been behaving since starting to lose weight? Are you constantly turning food down, cutting out foods you think you can no longer eat, or constantly talking about your weight loss efforts?

    I ask because maybe he's *not* sabotaging you (Gee, there's a concept). Maybe he's worried you're obsessing over counting calories, and this is his way of trying to tell you that you need to lighten up.

    Or maybe he thinks you're losing weight to feel more attractive to him, and this is his way of saying he loves you no matter what size you are.


    All I'm saying is, consider every option. On the surface it might appear like he's trying to keep you fat, but sometimes men have a hard time with communication. Maybe he's simply trying to let you know that he thinks you don't *need* to lose weight. If this is the real cause of the random treats, simply sit him down, and fully explain to him that you're doing this to feel better both mentally and physically, and that you really need his support.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    How have you been behaving since starting to lose weight? Are you constantly turning food down, cutting out foods you think you can no longer eat, or constantly talking about your weight loss efforts?

    I ask because maybe he's *not* sabotaging you (Gee, there's a concept). Maybe he's worried you're obsessing over counting calories, and this is his way of trying to tell you that you need to lighten up.

    Or maybe he thinks you're losing weight to feel more attractive to him, and this is his way of saying he loves you no matter what size you are.


    All I'm saying is, consider every option. On the surface it might appear like he's trying to keep you fat, but sometimes men have a hard time with communication. Maybe he's simply trying to let you know that he thinks you don't *need* to lose weight. If this is the real cause of the random treats, simply sit him down, and fully explain to him that you're doing this to feel better both mentally and physically, and that you really need his support.

    ^QFT. My DH used to do the same thing back when I was pretty much starving myself. He knew I wouldn't buy the stuff for myself and thought that my restrictions weren't emotionally healthy. He wants me to be successful but also loves me the way that I am. So much so that he felt like he'd rather have me stay like this forever if the alternative was to be with a miserable, thinner version of myself who has major emotional issues with food.

    But the simple version is that he was just doing it to be nice. He noticed that I wasn't buying the things that I loved and was constantly staring in the pantry or fridge with longing b/c there was nothing "fun" to eat. I still bought his goodies but none of my own, so he was just returning the favor.
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
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    Just let them sit on the side. Don't make a confrontation of it. If he says anything about wh you haven't eaten them, you could say something like you really appreciate his thoughtfullness, but as you can't eat them AND fit into that hot new bikini/summer dress/lingerie you want to buy for him to enjoy:wink: he should eat them/take them inot work to share with his colleagues.

    That's great advice
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
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    Maybe he's worried about the fact you are dropping a lot of weight? Speak to him, it's the only way to figure it out.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Why would a spouse, not want their spouse to lose weight??????

    There are various reasons, but I'd bet the most popular is uncertainty. Worry that if you are unhappy with yourself, maybe you are unhappy with your life in general, of which he is a part. Worry that he's not good enough for you and the extra weight is the only thing leveling the field. If you lose the weight, you'll realize how much better you could do and leave.

    Or maybe he really just prefers chubby. Some men like their jello with a little jiggle.
  • dazzo62
    dazzo62 Posts: 78
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    I agree - it's such an unknown that I would want to ask. If he just wanted to do something nice for you - ask for flowers :flowerforyou:
  • Alison12121
    Alison12121 Posts: 198 Member
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    I think you're doing the right thing. Let those brownies just sit there until they rot. :smile: Hopefully he'll stop buying them soon.

    My husband has been buying ice-cream for himself all the time, even though I told him I don't want junk in the house because it's too tempting. I haven't had any of that since I started MFP. If I really want dessert, I'll make it or get it myself, but he can keep his ice-cream.
  • jillyk89
    jillyk89 Posts: 240 Member
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    More cushion for the pushin ;-) hehheh
    You can still be chubby and be healthy just saying ;-)
  • jonathanharwood
    jonathanharwood Posts: 15 Member
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    Sometime if a person is around you everyday, you can't really tell the weight loss. People who haven't seen you in a few week can really see the difference. As for the junk food, I play a little mind trick/ game called let's see how much dust can gather on that crap. Use it as a "marker" as in "it's been 4 months since you bought that crap and I still haven't touched it.

    I got 3 can's of cokes in the back of my fridge that have been there for 3 months and they are like my little trophy's.


    Thats pretty awesome man!

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