I don't know how to feel good about myself.

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  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I lost 25 pounds last year and have gained back all but three so far. I am starting over as of last week. Its been a hell of a year for me and probably one of the most stressful in my life. I've faced the death of my mother and a huge estrangement and abuse from my teenage daughter. Beer was my best friend. Then on day I realized I was killing myself. Not that I really cared about killing myself but the thought of leaving my husband and kids worried me. So I'm starting over. I'm doing it for ME for sure. I realized I don't have to kill myself at the gym...I just do what I can do. I bought a FitBit which sets goals for me of 10,000 steps a day and 10 flights of stairs. I do my best to make these goals every day, but if I don't its not the end of the world. I eat healthy but am not obsessed. This time around its definitely about a lifestyle change, not a diet. Oh, and I've saved Bud Lite for Friday night only.

    Good luck. If you would like to add me, feel free!
  • sierras4fun
    sierras4fun Posts: 5 Member
    I must admit i can definitely relate. My boyfriend is supportive but maybe not in the way that i need him to be. I can not exactly pin point how i need him to be so maybe im the probelm not him... Im a little down as well as i have just noticed that im slowly creeping back to the weight that i once was, i was just in tears this morning. I read your post and Sometimes its hard to stay positive but I think that maybe It's all about support,keeping an open mind and positiveness. if we get negative and shut eveyone out then we end up alone and back to square one. Im glad that i read your post and believe it or not you may have helped me :) Im glad that you - at the least- have your husband there for you- open up to him keep the communication lines open..he wont know what you need until you tell him. Hes the closest one to you or so i assume- At some point though, i do agree with wendysworld13, you may need to get a little bit of counseling. It will only help you.. as im going to be looking into that as well for me. I realize that i have some deep rooted issues that i need to deal with apparently somewhere and thats why i can not control my freaking eating habits! IT's so frustrating:( I wish you luck... i hope you find that Support that you need and get to the healthy weight that you want to be.. :)
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I've been heavy and battled my weight all my life. Ultimately, the motivation has to come from within you to the point where you don't care what your husband is doing or that he's losing weight faster than you or what you look like when you go to the gym. This is about you, and your decision to get on track.

    2 years ago, I went to a school event with my daughter. I could hardly walk to the front door and parked as close as I could to it. Once inside I had to sit down and catch my breath because I was so overweight. It was at that time that I finally decided that "SOMETHING has got to change." I made an appointment that week with a lap-band surgeon thinking that that was going to be the only way I could lose weight. They told me that I had to lose 90 pounds before they'd do the surgery.

    I didn't think I had it in me to do that, but I "felt the fear and did it anyway." I did what they told me to do. I met with their dietician once a month, I made appointments with a therapist (who's had the gastric bypass surgery and lost about 200 pounds), I went and joined Weight Watchers, I go to the lap=band doctor's support group meetings, etc. etc. etc. I haven't had the surgery yet, and am probably beyond being able to get it since I've lost 146 pounds, BUT I still do all that stuff because it's working.

    There are things you can do to still work in the foods you love. If you completely take them away, you're not doing yourself any favors. I try to work those foods in for lunch. For example, I love queso dip. I go (once in a while when I need a fix) to Don Pablo's and order the kids size of it, and count out the 8 tortilla chips. I also love Olive Garden. I order the pasta fagiole soup (lots of protein and fiber) and then order a kids meal (usually chicken fettucini or ravioli), and only have part of a breadstick.

    Also, one thing both my husband and I have done, he has a snack drawer (in his night stand) and I have a "snack box". We keep protein bars, and low cal snacks in our "appropriate places" so that if we get hungry or need something to munch on, it won't be something so horrible to blow the day. Yesterday, I went and got a bag of potato chips. I opened it up and sat it on my desk. Once I realized I was "going to town on them" - I closed the bag up, and asked one of my co-workers to take it into the kitchen for me. Basically - I allow myself to be human and have some of those things from time to time. If I don't, I'll go haywire, and eat the house down trying to compensate - which - no good can come from.

    Sometimes you have to re-evaluate the path your on. Do you want to be fit (exercising) or lose weight (focus on what you're eating)? There's a difference. Know your limitations and what you are willing to do today, and then be able to add to that tomorrow or next week to help you stay on the path. If you give yourself some monumental task like, "OK - I'm going to workout every day this week and eat healthy every day, and not eat anything on the "bad" list...." You're setting yourself up for failure. Take small steps at a time.

    FOr what it's worth - and good luck!
  • shar140
    shar140 Posts: 1,158 Member
    Remind yourself of how you feel right now... and that you hate it. Time to stop doing what you're doing right now and make a change. Yes, you are going to go to the gym in big clothes, and yes you are going to bounce around. Be conscious of that. "I hate how I feel, and right now I am bouncing all of this around, but damn it, I am getting RID of this body for good!! I don't deserve to feel this way, I deserve happiness!" Let it be your motivation. Let YOU be your motivation. It's your body, you are the one responsible for it.

    What I finally realized, and when the weight finally started dropping off and staying off, is that I have to love and accept the person I was inside. And what I didn't like, I had to change - the outside AND inside. I had to do it for myself, no one else.

    If you don't like the person you are right now, CHANGE IT! What does it hurt?
    "Do Things You Love" Thanks to Bri for that.

    Seriously...start simple.

    Have a dog? Take it for a walk
    Don't? Still go for that walk
    Ride A bike
    Swim
    Hike
    Do Karate
    Have sex
    Garden

    I get where you are coming from, I promise you that. This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

    Take 30 minutes a day and go for that walk..outside. You don't need to kill yourself on the treadmill,elliptical, or weights. Just take that 30 minute walk. It helps, I promise.

    One day at a time...

    & get yourself a hug, it sounds like you need it..

    This! I started out 95lb heavier than I am today, and I started out just walking. It was difficult at first, but I kept at it. Why quit if you don't think you're good at it? That's just my motivation to keep trying now!! Always try to do better than you did the last time. Longer, or faster, or more weight, etc. But you have to start trying first! You can do it! :flowerforyou:
  • Sandreeuhh
    Sandreeuhh Posts: 39
    A lot of people mentioned the counseling thing..... I just wouldn't know how to go about asking for help... I know I'll feel embarrassed. Maybe it's something that needs to be done...

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