Healthy When Significant Other Isn't

Yeah, this. My SO could lose 100, but he eats horrible foods, and working out? No. I ask him at least twice a week to go lift weights with me, and I constantly give him alternatives to the junk he eats, and while sometimes he takes it, most of the time he doesn't. He sometimes jokes and calls me a myriad of names like Jack Lalaine, Richard Simmons, Princess Pushups, etc.... not mean, but it's the way he is.
I try to reinforce that this isn't vanity... it's health, and push for him to do the same so that we have a long life together. So far it's not working

OH, one success I did have, is getting him to cut back the sugary drinks and take in more water. And last night he suggested that he should work on losing some of his belly. I commented on the food he eats, and how that's the only way he'll get rid of it, and I got no response. Baby steps.

I live with a true crap food addict. My other half of 6 years has the WORST sweet tooth!!! If it is high in sugar he will eat it!! Cookies are now a common place grocery in our house! He loves all fast food! We used to have take out at least once a week. We would eat huge slabs of cake, because we didn't want to throw it away. Same with any left over food. He is still the same, but I love him nevertheless (btw he is a string bean!)

I do the cooking, and he isn't a fussy eater, so most of my healthy meals he eats too. There are many foods I prepare for him that I don't eat. For example I would quite happily pick up a McDonalds for him, but eat a homemade lunch instead. I am not saying that the temptation isn't there, but I don't think anyone can say their other half is STOPPING them from losing weight, unless they are literally hiding the salad bag! LOL

99% of the time I take myself out for lovely walks and take in the scenery (camera is a must!) and I attend the gym 3 times a week under my own steam, so I don't consider him to be crucial to my weight loss at all. If he tags along that's nice, and will make a lovely day of it, if not, I don't mind.

I think if people depend really highly on their partners to be healthy its due to an under confidence. yes you can do it on your own, all of it. People not taking responsibility is frustrating. We all have bad days, we all binge from time to time, you cannot blame that on anyone else but yourself. (Again, if your other half sits on you, force feeding you junk then OK, but you may want to consider therapy )

To all those who do struggle: you are one of many, we are all in this together. If one can do it so can we! Believe you can do it and you will, and you're worth the effort. (Whether your other half will support you in that or not!)

It has never bothered me. He is free to eat want he wants. I am not the food police
Started out on my own he would buy/eat whatever. I made the change for me. He started wanting to taste what I was eating lost a few pounds and started coming out for walks with me just to spend time together. His mates started saying how much weight he had lost and then he was hooked. Once he decided he wanted to join in he did and I was more than happy to help. He has lost over 50 pounds and I am so proud. Yes it is a little bit easier with him on board but would be still doing it even if he was not. Sometimes the best thing isn't to make a big deal of it.

My hubby is definitely not as keen on exercise as I am, but he'll eat what I cook. Just by doing that he's lost 11lbs and is officially in the healthy weight range. I'd love for him to work out a little bit, but it still doesn't bother me. I can't force him to do that, and I love him regardless.

I think it's like anything else......when you have a wide gap in belief systems, goals, and priorities, it can make it difficult to have a relationship. Not saying it's impossible, but it's definitely not as easy as it is with two people who are more compatible.

I'm lucky in that my husband was a high school and college athlete and has to maintain some level of fitness for his job. He does power lifting about 3 times a week and run a couple miles a few times a week as well. He hasn't complained about our lack of junk food in the house or my switch to healthier meal choices. But he still likes to get McDonald's now and then and will stop at a gas station for a small bag of chips occasionally. I don't care - he's a grown man and can eat and do what he wants.

We are active together - we go rock climbing (indoor), we go running. We like to take our daughter to the park or just run around outside with her. We lift together. He's awesomely supportive and never complains about how much time I spend exercising. We have a lot of other common interests too and we work in the same field. So, we're pretty compatible all the way around.

I live with a true crap food addict. My other half of 6 years has the WORST sweet tooth!!! If it is high in sugar he will eat it!! Cookies are now a common place grocery in our house! He loves all fast food! We used to have take out at least once a week. We would eat huge slabs of cake, because we didn't want to throw it away. Same with any left over food. He is still the same, but I love him nevertheless (btw he is a string bean!)

I do the cooking, and he isn't a fussy eater, so most of my healthy meals he eats too. There are many foods I prepare for him that I don't eat. For example I would quite happily pick up a McDonalds for him, but eat a homemade lunch instead. I am not saying that the temptation isn't there, but I don't think anyone can say their other half is STOPPING them from losing weight, unless they are literally hiding the salad bag! LOL

99% of the time I take myself out for lovely walks and take in the scenery (camera is a must!) and I attend the gym 3 times a week under my own steam, so I don't consider him to be crucial to my weight loss at all. If he tags along that's nice, and will make a lovely day of it, if not, I don't mind.

I think if people depend really highly on their partners to be healthy its due to an under confidence. yes you can do it on your own, all of it. People not taking responsibility is frustrating. We all have bad days, we all binge from time to time, you cannot blame that on anyone else but yourself. (Again, if your other half sits on you, force feeding you junk then OK, but you may want to consider therapy )

To all those who do struggle: you are one of many, we are all in this together. If one can do it so can we! Believe you can do it and you will, and you're worth the effort. (Whether your other half will support you in that or not!)

This is me, too. My husband eats all the things I can't eat - or if I did, I'd weigh a lot more. There are always Doritos and other chips, cookies, and other junk food in the house, but I make sure I have plenty of my own food there, too. Most time he'll eat what I make for dinner, but a bigger portion. He has tried a lot of new foods these past couple of years, and enjoys all of the healthy food I make, even if his salads consist of lettuce, cheese, more cheese, croutons, and full fat dressing to go along with my nutritious dinner. :-)

But, he is the owner and sole operator of a lawn treatment company, so he is constantly outside doing physical work and burning a ton of calories. He's actually lost about 50 pounds since we got together, so it's not all bad.

I also make food for him that I don't eat. Just last night he was working late on the computer and I made him 2 grilled ham and 3 cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. I would never make that for myself.

He is supportive of my weight loss but still teases me about what I eat sometimes. He doesn't go to the gym with me but that's fine, it's MY time for ME and it doesn't make me less motivated about my own goals.

I do wish he ate better, but only because I want him around for a long time and I want him healthy. It's not about how his food choices affect me.

My boyfriend is 6'6" and has always been really active, meaning that he has literally NEVER had to worry about eating right. When I first realized that I couldn't eat the same stuff (and in the same amounts) as he can, I started cooking "healthy" food that tasted terrible! Not surprisingly, he really wanted nothing to do with it and was kind of resistant. I mean, I can't really blame him - he had no reason to eat bland grilled chicken and steamed broccoli every meal, why would be want to!!

Since then, I've learned how to make healthy food that actually tastes good. And I've learned a lot about what an appropriate portion should look like. This means that when I cook dinner now, I know it's healthy, but he still loves to eat whatever it is and he even compliments how much better my cooking has gotten. He also likes knowing that what we're eating is healthy and nutritious. And I've learned that it's okay to still eat "junk" sometimes if I'm careful not to eat too much of it. Finding this balance has been a huge help. But yeah, at first it was really tough. Luckily, he never flat out refused to change - I know that's a different situation, and I can't imagine how hard that would be to deal with!

Husband hasn't chosen a healthier lifestyle (yet).
He likes to eat high calorie foods. We both do the cooking in our house and he’ll eat whatever I make, but he usually suggests something pretty high in calories when he’s making dinner. I still manage to cope pretty well and if he knows that I don’t have many calories left he won’t suggest poor meals. I know he’s trying and I can’t fault him for wanting to eat some of his favorite meals just because they’re high in calories.
He doesn't like to ‘work out’, but he remains pretty active. We try to stay active outside in the spring/summer. He hates the idea of going to a gym or attending a fitness class, but motivates and encourages me wonderfully.
Maybe someday I’ll inspire him to choose a healthier lifestyle too.

I have been with my SO for 25 years and here's my two cents: we are separate people. We support and love each other and we also accept each other. It is not healthy to try to change people, especially people we love. I am pretty lucky my SO accepts me for who I am and what I'm interested in, because I tend to bounce all over the place. I am always trying new things, sometimes getting a bit obsessed, and constantly changing. We both have shortcomings and and unhealthy habits, but neither of us is the type to dwell on the negative.

My husband used to weigh quite a bit more than he does now; he used to be a McDonald's manager and the convenience of eating at work got the better of him. Not long after he got a new job we started living together and he was eating my home-cooked healthy meals instead of grabbing food at the gas station or McDonald's after work. He dropped weight unbelievably fast at first. About 50lbs lost so far since his diet first began a few years back, and his healthy eating habits are here to stay.

It has been a multi-year battle to get him back to a healthy weight, and I'm very proud of him. But he is SO stubborn about exercising. He says he wants to start toning up and living a more active lifestyle, but he just won't put in the work even though I offer tons of support and suggestions. I can get him to go on walks with me, but I can't get him to do a single workout video.

I often times hear that some people with weight loss success end up feeling uncomfortable in their new bodies; I feel he may be one of those people. Yes, he's happy with his progress, but he has no idea how to dress anymore; he seems so overwhelmed whenever he even looks in his closet for a weekend outfit. He completely shuts down when we go shopping for him. He refuses to get rid of his old bigger clothes. He knows he can't finish his weight loss mission without exercise, but he looks for excuses to not do any exercise. Whenever we talk about fitness he becomes quiet and distant.

It tries my patience at times, but all I can do is keep offering support and love. I've tried being pushy, I've tried being nurturing, I've tried dragging him to the gym. None of it sticks right now. I keep looking to the future--he'll come around when he's ready and only when he's ready.