Anyone else do this on dating websites?

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Replies

  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??
  • mego07
    mego07 Posts: 234 Member
    The whole "meeting someone naturally" is so hard and complicated. I am 24 and newly single. I have never had to play the single game in 6 years. I have had 2 long relationships which were pretty back to back with no single time between. I don't know how to be single, as silly as it is. I have noticed that I have became a workaholic.... I actually had a moment earlier this week, where I thought a guy at work was totally into me and he was very cute and hard working. So something insane got into me (i am outgoing, but not to the point where i would ever ask anyone out...EVER)...well I did... Apparently, you have to be out and open with asking "do you have a girlfriend" before asking"want to go out sometime?" He looked at me confused and finally after three weeks of flirtation and me making a fool out of myself he tells me he is taken. As Charlie Brown would say.... "AAAARRRGGGGGHHH!!"

    The online sites scare me some, and the few times I have checked them out, I always seem to get the creepy ones. Plus, i don't know; still sounds odd meeting someone online and obviously its worked well for lots, but still feel with my family there is a large stigma around it.
  • 5erious
    5erious Posts: 469
    Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??

    wood smash DAT *kitten* for days
  • jamiwren
    jamiwren Posts: 10
    Liz, if you're game, I'm serious! And you can totally use this same pic...I understand about your teeth (though it is probably much more noticeable to you than it would be to someone else), and the pic you have on here is really pretty. Though you aren't really smiling (except in a Mona Lisa kind of way), you look pleasant, and it maybe makes you kind of mysterious and intriguing (like the Mona Lisa, I guess). Go for it!
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Tried OkCupid for a little bit.. I find the bridge from internet to person is hard to overcome. However, I used to post on forums back in middleschool / highschool ... all those meet-ups were great!

    The whole online thing isn't for me anymore unless we're 100% on the same page.
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 831 Member
    I read somewhere that you should look for a partner in places that tell you good things about them. Ie if you meet a guy (or a girl) in a bar all that tells you is that he drinks. If you meet someone volunteering, that says that they care about the world (I know that is a generalization).

    I don't think I would be brave enough to join a dating website! I would be more comfortable volunteering, taking a class, or joining a club that revolved around exercise (tramping club ect). Even if you don't meet someone fantastic you will have meet a bunch of new people some of whom will know other people who are looking to date.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Pre-judging people before you meet them isn't the best way to meet quality partners. The best way to find a partner is not to look. /not even trolling.
  • jamiwren
    jamiwren Posts: 10
    danholden, that's a terrible story!
    You weren't by any chance making that same face in your profile pic on the site, were you?:happy:
  • jamiwren
    jamiwren Posts: 10
    Jessi, not to be too much of a cynic (and I know you were just generalizing), but meeting someone volunteering might also mean they got sentenced to community service for something. :smile:

    I actually agree with what you're saying; those are good suggestions for meeting people as an adult. It is so much different once you are out of school. One more way that kids don't know how good they have it!

    And Warchortle, I understand what you mean about "prejudging"...but to meet quality partners, you DO have to put yourself in situations where you'll be exposed to a variety of people. I think Jessi was talking about some of those situations/places maybe being better indicators of the type of people you'll meet than others. Once you're no longer in high school/college (and I can't tell how old you are, but you look youngish to me) if you fall into the rut many of us do as we get near forty of just going to work and then going home, with little other socialization, it is REALLY easy to go years without even an opportunity for dating. For some people, the workplace can fill that role, but for many of us it can't. I am nurse and, even if I were inclined to date a patient, there are ethical reasons I can't. With my particular set of priorities (and NOT because I judge or look down on people for going to bars), I would choose to meet someone at church or in an adult education class over a bar any day.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??
    I thought it was more like a casual encounters site?
  • chevhi
    chevhi Posts: 3
    There's no reason to be embarrassed or hate the gap in your teeth. Many guys (including myself) find it attractive. There are plenty of examples of famous actresses and models who have a gap in their teeth. Kat Denning (2 Broke Girls), Anna Paquin (True Blood) and Jessica Paré (Mad Men) are a few recent examples that I can think of that I can think of off of the top of my head. Embrace it!
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??
    I thought it was more like a casual encounters site?

    Oh, tomato, tomato........hmmm.....how does one type that?? :laugh:
  • Colorfan
    Colorfan Posts: 230 Member
    @jamiwren ..I can't really say I've enjoyed being single because I haven't gone on a whole lot of dates. I attribute it mainly to the fact that I don't really like doing something I've never done before...and that I still sometimes see myself as 35 lbs heavier than I really am (the weight I've lost)...even when I do see my actuall weight (like 154 lbs) I'm still seeing the flaws. I think of myself as "cute", but not sexy..ya know. I think a lot of it honestly lies within me..because I know I'm generally a down to earth person, but physically I just not there yet with having complete confidence in myself..Meh i guess I need to just grow a pair! :tongue:

    You sound like me. I havent really gone on any dates, but Im worried once I do, that Ill just be completely clueless as to what to do next. I also still see myself as a 300lb+ guy, even though Im 100lbs smaller now. The whole dating thing is hard...

    I dont think I could ever do the online dating thing. Even though it seems like the more "natural" thing for me, personally, to do. The reason being is that I want to meet people in person, get to know them. I find people online and people in person are totally different. Also, as a guy, I feel like I would just automatically be labelled a creep.
  • JosieRawr
    JosieRawr Posts: 788 Member
    I haven't done that on a dating site, but I did meet my partner on yahoo... 7 years n a beautiful 5 year old later.. gotta say, some things are worth the risk, even if they don't turn out how ya plan. n I wasn't looking... I was still in highschool(18 year old senior)
  • mego07
    mego07 Posts: 234 Member
    Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??
    I thought it was more like a casual encounters site?

    Oh, tomato, tomato........hmmm.....how does one type that?? :laugh:

    I managed to read it as said out loud. Funny how our brains work.

    Have any of you thought of meeting someone on here? Even as friends? We all already have something in common, and that is being fit and healthy. That's one step closer, right?
  • jamiwren
    jamiwren Posts: 10
    @catrinah: toMAHto
  • jamiwren
    jamiwren Posts: 10
    There's no reason to be embarrassed or hate the gap in your teeth. Many guys (including myself) find it attractive. There are plenty of examples of famous actresses and models who have a gap in their teeth. Kat Denning (2 Broke Girls), Anna Paquin (True Blood) and Jessica Paré (Mad Men) are a few recent examples that I can think of that I can think of off of the top of my head. Embrace it!

    Also, Lauren Hutton (former supermodel), Madonna, and Amy Winehouse.
  • Maidofmer
    Maidofmer Posts: 908 Member
    I met my hubby on gothmatch.com. dated two weeks, got married. got a 3 yr old in july and a 4 year wedding anniversary in august
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    I'm on a dating site and I don't care if anyone thinks it's weird. I don't really have a chance to meet anyone the "normal" way. I work with all women, I'm taking all my courses online this semester and I work out at home. The only time I have a chance to meet guys is when I go out and the only guys that talk to me are drunk and obnoxious. lol So I thought I'd give the online thing a chance. Why not. Don't be scurred!!! :)
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Pre-judging people before you meet them isn't the best way to meet quality partners. The best way to find a partner is not to look. /not even trolling.

    So very true. It was when I was almost 16 and decided I'm over boys I got stuck with my guy for the last 31 years.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I usually just go on there and tell everyone I'm a doctor, get laid a few times, and then bail.
  • I usually just go on there and tell everyone I'm a doctor, get laid a few times, and then bail.

    that was you?
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    I usually just go on there and tell everyone I'm a doctor, get laid a few times, and then bail.

    Podiatrists get all the poon!! *fist bump*
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Never been on a dating site. When I started dating, pre-internet, a person couldn't text, sext, tweet, twitter, chat or otherwise meet people. Had to have your best friend pass their best friend a not in Gym class and hope for the best.
  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
    Oh god. I delete Skout at LEAST once a week. And then I always come crawwwwwling back.

    We can't deny that amongst the seediness, these things are damn entertaining!
  • tpittsley77
    tpittsley77 Posts: 607 Member
    I did this a few years ago. Signed up for a dating site, put the profile on and figured that nothing would happen. The first day, I got a message from a guy. The only way I could respond was to pay for the site. So I figured why not, if I spent the money, then I would put effort into it. So I paid for 3 months, and responded to that guy. I emailed a couple other guys maybe once or twice, but that one guy.... he is the only one I chatted with, texted, called, and went on a date with.

    We have now been happily married for over 5 years and have two beautiful daughters!

    I'm still pissed that I paid for three months of the service and only used it for a couple days though. I wish I could have gotten a refund!!
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
    I'm on POF and I go back and forth with it. Lot of nutjobs on there though...well I guess that's no different than meeting them anywhere else :/
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I would probably never do an actual dating site because I think there are way too many guys on those sites who are just looking for sex, and they will give you the "I'm a wounded man looking for a relationship" song and dance because they think it will get you naked a lot faster than if they said "I just want to hook up."

    But I think it can be great to meet someone online through a mutual interest (like MFP). I've done it before, and I'd do it again. It's a relief to know, before you even meet up, that you already have something in common.
  • danholden4006
    danholden4006 Posts: 66 Member
    danholden, that's a terrible story!
    You weren't by any chance making that same face in your profile pic on the site, were you?:happy:

    No... well... I used a lot of what I thought was normal looking pics and then I usually threw in a goofy one in an attempt to show that I had a funny side. They might have saw it as a creepy stalker side though now that I think about it...
  • suzbaru
    suzbaru Posts: 37 Member
    I met my husband on EHarmony, we've been married for 3 years now.

    I am a believer in whatever black magic, computer algorithm, crazy *kitten* these site use to make matches.

    This right here is the reason why.

    My husband and I had mutual friends, there are pictures of us at the same parties in different rooms. I have pictures of his ex-gf and I together at night clubs and bbqs. We had never met in the three years we ran in the same circle because we were 2 degrees away from each other. We both love rally cars and rock crawlers, yet we have different manufactures preferences so we never met through those types of events simply because we didn't cross the subaru/toyota or jeep/toyota threshold.

    Here's some advice, suggestions and pros/cons.

    1. Use a site that you need to pay for - if you are serious about getting serious.

    The free sites are really for hooking up, flirting, bored people and these people are not as invested into finding someone. Think married people. They want the thrill of flirting but they can't have E-Harmony or Match, etc showing up on a credit card statement, how do you explain that to a spouse?

    2. People will not know you used a dating website unless you tell them you did. You can still say you met them at a bar, park or where ever you may go for a first date. It's only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing.

    3. Be prepared to see co-workers on your match ups. It does depend on the size of your workplace as well. Dating sites are just a dirty secret that everyone is doing and no one admits to. I worked in an office of 200+, 3 co-workers were matches for me. We never ever mentioned being matches, we all just blocked each other and moved on.

    4. Go with your gut feeling. If you notice poor grammar and it annoys you, quit writing to them and stop pretending it doesn't bother you. Are they smoking in a picture and you don't like smoking, (but he's ssssooo cute)... Is cigarette smoke in your hair cute? Get ruthless and be honest with yourself.

    My personal 1 month experience with E-Harmony.

    My husband was my first match and I put off writing him for the first (and only) month I was on the site, because there is no way it could be right and he was my best match. Also his pictures were meh. I've now decided 1. guys can't post decent pictures of themselves and 2. most people look better in person.

    So I just waited for the interest questions to come from others. I wrote back and forth with 5 guys in total and only went on one date - WORST DATE EVER. He was a 70-80% match for me. But what did that stupid site know anyway, I was sure we would have way more in common, nope. 70% was correct.

    My first month was coming to a close and I had already cancelled my subscription, after seeing 3 co-workers and one horrible date, I was done with this hooey!

    I was just waiting out the last days, because hope springs eternal. Right? The last day, my best match (my husband) sent me the initial questions. After the back and forth was over we set up a date. The rest is history.

    Trust your gut feelings, the crazy black magic that make those site work and realize guys can't take good pictures.