Anyone else do this on dating websites?

The whole "meeting someone naturally" is so hard and complicated. I am 24 and newly single. I have never had to play the single game in 6 years. I have had 2 long relationships which were pretty back to back with no single time between. I don't know how to be single, as silly as it is. I have noticed that I have became a workaholic.... I actually had a moment earlier this week, where I thought a guy at work was totally into me and he was very cute and hard working. So something insane got into me (i am outgoing, but not to the point where i would ever ask anyone out...EVER)...well I did... Apparently, you have to be out and open with asking "do you have a girlfriend" before asking"want to go out sometime?" He looked at me confused and finally after three weeks of flirtation and me making a fool out of myself he tells me he is taken. As Charlie Brown would say.... "AAAARRRGGGGGHHH!!"

The online sites scare me some, and the few times I have checked them out, I always seem to get the creepy ones. Plus, i don't know; still sounds odd meeting someone online and obviously its worked well for lots, but still feel with my family there is a large stigma around it.

Liz, if you're game, I'm serious! And you can totally use this same pic...I understand about your teeth (though it is probably much more noticeable to you than it would be to someone else), and the pic you have on here is really pretty. Though you aren't really smiling (except in a Mona Lisa kind of way), you look pleasant, and it maybe makes you kind of mysterious and intriguing (like the Mona Lisa, I guess). Go for it!

I read somewhere that you should look for a partner in places that tell you good things about them. Ie if you meet a guy (or a girl) in a bar all that tells you is that he drinks. If you meet someone volunteering, that says that they care about the world (I know that is a generalization).

I don't think I would be brave enough to join a dating website! I would be more comfortable volunteering, taking a class, or joining a club that revolved around exercise (tramping club ect). Even if you don't meet someone fantastic you will have meet a bunch of new people some of whom will know other people who are looking to date.

danholden, that's a terrible story!
You weren't by any chance making that same face in your profile pic on the site, were you?:happy:

Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??

I thought it was more like a casual encounters site?

Never done that. I'm still on MFP.....oh.......wait........this isn't a dating site??

I thought it was more like a casual encounters site?

Oh, tomato, tomato........hmmm.....how does one type that?? :laugh:

I haven't done that on a dating site, but I did meet my partner on yahoo... 7 years n a beautiful 5 year old later.. gotta say, some things are worth the risk, even if they don't turn out how ya plan. n I wasn't looking... I was still in highschool(18 year old senior)

@catrinah: toMAHto

I met my hubby on gothmatch.com. dated two weeks, got married. got a 3 yr old in july and a 4 year wedding anniversary in august

Pre-judging people before you meet them isn't the best way to meet quality partners. The best way to find a partner is not to look. /not even trolling.

So very true. It was when I was almost 16 and decided I'm over boys I got stuck with my guy for the last 31 years.

I usually just go on there and tell everyone I'm a doctor, get laid a few times, and then bail.

that was you?

Never been on a dating site. When I started dating, pre-internet, a person couldn't text, sext, tweet, twitter, chat or otherwise meet people. Had to have your best friend pass their best friend a not in Gym class and hope for the best.

I did this a few years ago. Signed up for a dating site, put the profile on and figured that nothing would happen. The first day, I got a message from a guy. The only way I could respond was to pay for the site. So I figured why not, if I spent the money, then I would put effort into it. So I paid for 3 months, and responded to that guy. I emailed a couple other guys maybe once or twice, but that one guy.... he is the only one I chatted with, texted, called, and went on a date with.

We have now been happily married for over 5 years and have two beautiful daughters!

I'm still pissed that I paid for three months of the service and only used it for a couple days though. I wish I could have gotten a refund!!

I would probably never do an actual dating site because I think there are way too many guys on those sites who are just looking for sex, and they will give you the "I'm a wounded man looking for a relationship" song and dance because they think it will get you naked a lot faster than if they said "I just want to hook up."

But I think it can be great to meet someone online through a mutual interest (like MFP). I've done it before, and I'd do it again. It's a relief to know, before you even meet up, that you already have something in common.

I met my husband on EHarmony, we've been married for 3 years now.

I am a believer in whatever black magic, computer algorithm, crazy *kitten* these site use to make matches.

This right here is the reason why.

My husband and I had mutual friends, there are pictures of us at the same parties in different rooms. I have pictures of his ex-gf and I together at night clubs and bbqs. We had never met in the three years we ran in the same circle because we were 2 degrees away from each other. We both love rally cars and rock crawlers, yet we have different manufactures preferences so we never met through those types of events simply because we didn't cross the subaru/toyota or jeep/toyota threshold.

Here's some advice, suggestions and pros/cons.

1. Use a site that you need to pay for - if you are serious about getting serious.

The free sites are really for hooking up, flirting, bored people and these people are not as invested into finding someone. Think married people. They want the thrill of flirting but they can't have E-Harmony or Match, etc showing up on a credit card statement, how do you explain that to a spouse?

2. People will not know you used a dating website unless you tell them you did. You can still say you met them at a bar, park or where ever you may go for a first date. It's only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing.

3. Be prepared to see co-workers on your match ups. It does depend on the size of your workplace as well. Dating sites are just a dirty secret that everyone is doing and no one admits to. I worked in an office of 200+, 3 co-workers were matches for me. We never ever mentioned being matches, we all just blocked each other and moved on.

4. Go with your gut feeling. If you notice poor grammar and it annoys you, quit writing to them and stop pretending it doesn't bother you. Are they smoking in a picture and you don't like smoking, (but he's ssssooo cute)... Is cigarette smoke in your hair cute? Get ruthless and be honest with yourself.

My personal 1 month experience with E-Harmony.

My husband was my first match and I put off writing him for the first (and only) month I was on the site, because there is no way it could be right and he was my best match. Also his pictures were meh. I've now decided 1. guys can't post decent pictures of themselves and 2. most people look better in person.

So I just waited for the interest questions to come from others. I wrote back and forth with 5 guys in total and only went on one date - WORST DATE EVER. He was a 70-80% match for me. But what did that stupid site know anyway, I was sure we would have way more in common, nope. 70% was correct.

My first month was coming to a close and I had already cancelled my subscription, after seeing 3 co-workers and one horrible date, I was done with this hooey!

I was just waiting out the last days, because hope springs eternal. Right? The last day, my best match (my husband) sent me the initial questions. After the back and forth was over we set up a date. The rest is history.

Trust your gut feelings, the crazy black magic that make those site work and realize guys can't take good pictures.