Open-mindedness.... And the lack of it!
UsedToBeHusky
Posts: 15,228 Member
The concept is pretty simple.
We all came here because we wanted to change something about our bodies. Obviously, whatever you were doing before coming here wasn't working. MFP offers this great social aspect that provides us with the opportunity to learn from others who have achieved success. The problem is that too many people come here not ready to accept the fact that their ideas about weight loss (or whatever) have been wrong. Therefore, they are not open-minded enough to receive the information that will help them to succeed.
So... If you want to come here and debate with someone that is fine, but at least be open-minded to that person's perspectives. Find out why they have such strong views on the subject. And if you have a little time, research the topic on your own. You never know, you might just learn something that will help you achieve your goals.
We all came here because we wanted to change something about our bodies. Obviously, whatever you were doing before coming here wasn't working. MFP offers this great social aspect that provides us with the opportunity to learn from others who have achieved success. The problem is that too many people come here not ready to accept the fact that their ideas about weight loss (or whatever) have been wrong. Therefore, they are not open-minded enough to receive the information that will help them to succeed.
So... If you want to come here and debate with someone that is fine, but at least be open-minded to that person's perspectives. Find out why they have such strong views on the subject. And if you have a little time, research the topic on your own. You never know, you might just learn something that will help you achieve your goals.
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Nah.....0
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My mom is very close-minded. Since I have started counting calories, she can see how I am eating better. She constantly talks about being "too fat" but will not do anything about it and she also despises counting calories and says she will NEVER do it. I've tried letting her know that she doesn't have to count everything, just buy things that are generally less then what she has been getting. Anything that is said to her falls on def ears. Yet she likes to fat shame people, including me.
I guess I needed to rant a bit...0 -
My mom is very close-minded. Since I have started counting calories, she can see how I am eating better. She constantly talks about being "too fat" but will not do anything about it and she also despises counting calories and says she will NEVER do it. I've tried letting her know that she doesn't have to count everything, just buy things that are generally less then what she has been getting. Anything that is said to her falls on def ears. Yet she likes to fat shame people, including me.
I guess I needed to rant a bit...
You can't help everyone but this post was more meant for people like her.0 -
Bump... ya closed-minded bishes!0
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Somehow I thought this post would go over better. The lack of response seems quite ironic to me. :laugh:0
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I'm with you! I have had to rethink a lot of things in order to start losing weight. Both my mom and my mother-in-law have wrong ideas about losing weight and won't accept that what I am doing is a good thing. My M-I-L will have a weight loss shake in the morning and won't eat anything else until dinner, where she will procede to eat a tub of ice cream. Yeah, because that balances out and all. And she wonders why she can never lose weight and keep it off...0
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I like to believe that I'm open-minded but must admit that there is one thing that I do struggle with accepting, and that's the issue concerning daily caloric intake needs. MFP and many others have shown that I neeeeeed to ingest at least a certain number of calories, but for some reason I'm so hardheaded on this topic that I WANT to believe that the less calories you eat, the faster you'll burn it off.
I do keep coming back to the threads though to see people saying that you have to have the calories, if nothing else to at least bring me back down to earth.0 -
It is funny that so many people have these ingrained ideas about health, weight loss, fitness, etc. even if they've never had to worry about it themselves. I have one friend who is naturally VERY thin, and to hear her get on her high horse about obesity is honestly just infuriating.
Now, I'm a far way from obese, but I do struggle with my weight a bit. She is thin by complete chance - she does not eat very well and every time she tries to talk about nutrition, I realize that she actually doesn't understand much about it. It just makes me mad because she's so willing to judge those who have become obese by doing the exact same thing as her - not eating right and not working out! Lack of open-mindedness definitely bothers me!0 -
Very true... but it's only half the issue. Some advice givers aren't open minded enough that their program/routine/preferences might not work well for someone else (maybe different goals, different limitations, etc etc).
So...
People seeking advice: you don't know everything, that's why you're looking for adivce. Shut up and listen for a change.
People giving advice: there are lots of ways to skin this cat... your way isn't always the best way.0 -
Very well said.0
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I never, ever consider myself an expert. And I'm open to most any idea that someone wants to put forth.
Here is what I do know. This is a fitness site. It's focus is on calorie counting, proper nutrition and exercise. There's a whole lot we can debate in there, but one thing is always true.
Any exercise is beneficial.
So when you come to a fitness site ranting and raving, "I DON'T WANNA LIFT!", well you're in the wrong place. You should lift. You should run. You should ride a bike and swim in the ocean and climb mountains.
You should live your life in the best and biggest way possible.
You want to limit yourself? You don't want to find out what you're capable of? Fine. But don't tout it as a great plan. It's mediocrity. It's laziness and fear of the unknown.
Do the work, achieve your goals, post your success thread. Because actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words.0 -
This forum a minute fraction of a big old world and like the real world it is a rich tapestry of differing mindsets and various opinions.
Why everyone can't just be an adult and ignore the things they don't agree with, learn from people they can learn from and refrain from the juvenile nastiness is beyond me.
If everybody looked the same it would be so damn boring.0 -
I agree with you. There are some nutters here.0
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Yep.
Smug vegetarians
Smug carnivores
Smug omnivores
Smug cannibals
Cheese haters
Single food fad diet devotees
Miracle pill pushers
IIFIMMers
Clean eaters
OCD TDEE folks
Generally though, people here have supported healthy eating and regular exercise which (gasp) has been my formula for success. I've appreciated all the support and information I've gotten and, as a result, I'm 2 pounds to starting weight (restarted at 10 pounds over). This is a big thing for me to be able to reset back to zero and then continue.
Edited to add that there have been some amazing and civil threads on here with lots of good information exchanged.0 -
People seeking advice: you don't know everything, that's why you're looking for adivce. Shut up and listen for a change.
People giving advice: there are lots of ways to skin this cat... your way isn't always the best way.
Agreed.0 -
I could care less what ANYONE has to say anymore.
Growing up I've always battled my weight and when I would do really good others would put me down saying a bunch of nonsense. There is a difference between tough love, advice, and being an *kitten*.
I'm 29, I've got a huge support group (MFP) who some are knowledgeable and others not so much. I use my own common sense and research (Never go by one person's opinion always research and get at least 3 documentations stating something) to set my goals.0 -
So when you come to a fitness site ranting and raving, "I DON'T WANNA LIFT!", well you're in the wrong place. You should lift. You should run. You should ride a bike and swim in the ocean and climb mountains.
I don't agree here. Not everyone SHOULD lift, run, bike, swim, and climb. Not everyone who chooses not to do these things is just mediocre and lazy either. Everyone SHOULD move, but how each person exercises should be what works best for them.
I'm with the OP- being open-minded and respectful of each others' choices on how to lose weight (as long as it's not unhealthy) is important. Ask questions of people who disagree with you because you might actually learn something new.0 -
I never, ever consider myself an expert. And I'm open to most any idea that someone wants to put forth.
Here is what I do know. This is a fitness site. It's focus is on calorie counting, proper nutrition and exercise. There's a whole lot we can debate in there, but one thing is always true.
Any exercise is beneficial.
So when you come to a fitness site ranting and raving, "I DON'T WANNA LIFT!", well you're in the wrong place. You should lift. You should run. You should ride a bike and swim in the ocean and climb mountains.
You should live your life in the best and biggest way possible.
You want to limit yourself? You don't want to find out what you're capable of? Fine. But don't tout it as a great plan. It's mediocrity. It's laziness and fear of the unknown.
Do the work, achieve your goals, post your success thread. Because actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words.
I think I love you.0 -
So when you come to a fitness site ranting and raving, "I DON'T WANNA LIFT!", well you're in the wrong place. You should lift. You should run. You should ride a bike and swim in the ocean and climb mountains.
I don't agree here. Not everyone SHOULD lift, run, bike, swim, and climb. Not everyone who chooses not to do these things is just mediocre and lazy either. Everyone SHOULD move, but how each person exercises should be what works best for them.
I'm with the OP- being open-minded and respectful of each others' choices on how to lose weight (as long as it's not unhealthy) is important. Ask questions of people who disagree with you because you might actually learn something new.
I was using a bit of hyperbole to counter all the negativity. CLEARLY I'm not saying EVERYONE needs to swim in the ocean, I can't remember the last time I swam in the ocean. And I haven't ridden a bike in years.
Everyone can and should do whatever they want. But don't take a deuce all over someone else's exercise routine because it's not your own.
You don't have to lift if you don't want to. You don't have to run. You don't have to bike. But know that this IS a fitness site and if you want to loudly proclaim how opposed you are to any form of exercise you aren't going to get a positive response. Nor should you.0 -
Agreed. And no one should crap on those who want to count housework or shopping as exercise either.Everyone can and should do whatever they want. But don't take a deuce all over someone else's exercise routine because it's not your own.
Agreed.You don't have to lift if you don't want to. You don't have to run. You don't have to bike. But know that this IS a fitness site and if you want to loudly proclaim how opposed you are to any form of exercise you aren't going to get a positive response. Nor should you.0 -
I agree that it mostly comes down to goals, as far as what type of exercise to do. If you've achieved your physique goals, and you just want to do something active that you enjoy, then truly, do whatever you want. But there are right ways and wrong ways to go about achieving specific goals like fat loss, strength gains, body recomposition, etc. And there are people on this site who simply don't have a good grasp of science.
I totally respect that someone wants to run as a form of exercise because they enjoy it, and I respect that someone doesn't want to lift weights because they hate it. Fine. But when someone says they don't lift because lifting makes you bigger, that's just factually incorrect. It's not about being open-minded vs. closed-minded. It's about being right vs. being wrong.
It's hard for me to sit idly by and watch someone rant on and on about how you should only lift if you want to look bulky and masculine. There was a time when I had that exact same mindset, and then, fortunately, a good friend convinced me otherwise. His advice did more to change my body in 3 months than dieting and cardio did in an entire year. Lifting truly changed my life, and while I can accept that not everyone is going to enjoy doing it and will naturally gravitate toward something else that is more rewarding for them, I cannot accept people using this community to spread complete falsehoods to people who don't know any better and might be missing out on changing THEIR lives.
So my attitude is not one of "You disagree with me, so you must be silenced." It's one of "You're entitled to your own opinions, but you are not entitled to your own facts."0 -
I agree that it mostly comes down to goals, as far as what type of exercise to do. If you've achieved your physique goals, and you just want to do something active that you enjoy, then truly, do whatever you want. But there are right ways and wrong ways to go about achieving specific goals like fat loss, strength gains, body recomposition, etc. And there are people on this site who simply don't have a good grasp of science.
I totally respect that someone wants to run as a form of exercise because they enjoy it, and I respect that someone doesn't want to lift weights because they hate it. Fine. But when someone says they don't lift because lifting makes you bigger, that's just factually incorrect. It's not about being open-minded vs. closed-minded. It's about being right vs. being wrong.
It's hard for me to sit idly by and watch someone rant on and on about how you should only lift if you want to look bulky and masculine. There was a time when I had that exact same mindset, and then, fortunately, a good friend convinced me otherwise. His advice did more to change my body in 3 months than dieting and cardio did in an entire year. Lifting truly changed my life, and while I can accept that not everyone is going to enjoy doing it and will naturally gravitate toward something else that is more rewarding for them, I cannot accept people using this community to spread complete falsehoods to people who don't know any better and might be missing out on changing THEIR lives.
So my attitude is not one of "You disagree with me, so you must be silenced." It's one of "You're entitled to your own opinions, but you are not entitled to your own facts."
So what you are saying is that, at some point, you were closed-minded, but you opened your mind to new ideas and it paid off?
Right on!0 -
This forum a minute fraction of a big old world and like the real world it is a rich tapestry of differing mindsets and various opinions.
Why everyone can't just be an adult and ignore the things they don't agree with, learn from people they can learn from and refrain from the juvenile nastiness is beyond me.
If everybody looked the same it would be so damn boring.
Totally agree with this!0 -
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
Why don't you listen to this, you might like it
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
You're some hypocrite if you say you don't buy it
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
I'll tell you right now that I'm never gonna try it
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
Give me what I want or there's gonna be a riot0 -
I agree that it mostly comes down to goals, as far as what type of exercise to do. If you've achieved your physique goals, and you just want to do something active that you enjoy, then truly, do whatever you want. But there are right ways and wrong ways to go about achieving specific goals like fat loss, strength gains, body recomposition, etc. And there are people on this site who simply don't have a good grasp of science.
I totally respect that someone wants to run as a form of exercise because they enjoy it, and I respect that someone doesn't want to lift weights because they hate it. Fine. But when someone says they don't lift because lifting makes you bigger, that's just factually incorrect. It's not about being open-minded vs. closed-minded. It's about being right vs. being wrong.
It's hard for me to sit idly by and watch someone rant on and on about how you should only lift if you want to look bulky and masculine. There was a time when I had that exact same mindset, and then, fortunately, a good friend convinced me otherwise. His advice did more to change my body in 3 months than dieting and cardio did in an entire year. Lifting truly changed my life, and while I can accept that not everyone is going to enjoy doing it and will naturally gravitate toward something else that is more rewarding for them, I cannot accept people using this community to spread complete falsehoods to people who don't know any better and might be missing out on changing THEIR lives.
So my attitude is not one of "You disagree with me, so you must be silenced." It's one of "You're entitled to your own opinions, but you are not entitled to your own facts."
So what you are saying is that, at some point, you were closed-minded, but you opened your mind to new ideas and it paid off?
Right on!
Yes, exactly. I thought for a second "What if I'm wrong?" and I listened to someone else. And it worked.0 -
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
Why don't you listen to this, you might like it
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
You're some hypocrite if you say you don't buy it
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
I'll tell you right now that I'm never gonna try it
Everyone tells me I'm close minded
Give me what I want or there's gonna be a riot
^^^^ Sorry, title just reminded me of an old song.
On a serious note, I came to mfp completely happy with my body and not wanting to change a thing. I had been told a thousand times that I "wouldn't have that perfect metabolism forever" and to "enjoy it while it lasts", and that I'll be "fat and old someday." So anyway, I wanted to track what I ate, learn a bit about how my body ran; knowledge is power and all that. Then I started to read in the forums. I've actually learned a ton in the forums, and links from the forums, and have even changed my health for the better since coming here, even though that was not my original goal. I didn't do that by being close-minded. It's there for folks who want to find it.0 -
I heard it said once to "work so hardon your own self improvement that you don't have time to worry about what other people do". Not bad advice!0
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I heard it said once to "work so hardon your own self improvement that you don't have time to worry about what other people do". Not bad advice!
<<writing this down on a sticky note and posting it on my wall of inspiration>>
BTW - amazing job on the weight loss MCLA4mom!
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I heard it said once to "work so hardon your own self improvement that you don't have time to worry about what other people do". Not bad advice!
^ this!0 -
I heard it said once to "work so hardon your own self improvement that you don't have time to worry about what other people do". Not bad advice!
That is not what that means. That means "focus on yourself and concern yourself not with what others do" or at least that is the way I have heard it. I'm talking about people that solicit advice and then decide that they don't like the advice that is given.
If you aren't going to receive it (ALL of it), then you shouldn't ask for it in the forums.0
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