the pscychological effects of weight loss

Options
24

Replies

  • sandlerlover
    sandlerlover Posts: 96 Member
    Options
    I don't know how to handle compliments. I blush. I shake my head no. I embarrassly say thank you. I always think to myself I shouldn't have gotten so big to need to lose so much. I too don't give myself as much credit as I deserve. I'm getting there though!
  • xxcooneyxx
    xxcooneyxx Posts: 221 Member
    Options
    When I was in 8th grade I went to public school for the first time. In my first week, a boy came up to me and told me his friend thought I was cute, and did I want to date him. I looked to the friend he was pointing at (he was very cute) and nodded yes. Then all the boys in the group erupted in laughter at the idea that I thought they were serious that a guy like him would want to date a fat girl like me.

    Ever since then, when a guy approaches me out of nowhere it takes EVERY OUNCE of my self will not to shout "Get the **** away from me, I'm not a joke!" I was at the mall recently with one of my friends and I was feeling self conscious because everyone was making eye contact with me and smiling at me. I told my friend "Why is everyone STARING at me!?" and she said "Because you are cute." and I was floored. It also makes me sort of sad that when I was fat people would not even make eye contact with me or look at me. It's like I was invisible. Now I make it a point to walk over and talk to bigger people at work/ school and be super friendly because I don't want them to feel invisible. Still I should learn to just treat people like people instead of seeing their weight.

    That was so horrible! I can relate though, I am fairly confident, with my work, family, intellegence and I look good but I get this feeling of paranoia when people stare at me like I have something wierd on my face! I was never a good looking child and I don't really notice what other people do because I was happily invisible at school. I don't think I will ever get used to looking good completely, but now that I do , I really don't want to lose it x

    I know it seems silly, but it makes me feel good that I started dating my boyfriend a month before I started losing weight. It's like I can feel secure in knowing that he loved me when I was fat so I can be sure that he "really" loves me. Isn't that ridiculous? I want to marry my current BF, but I always thought if things never worked out between him and I, that I would join a dating web page and use my old fat pictures on my profile. That way I could be sure the people that agreed to go on a date with me would like me for me. Isn't that silly?
  • unapologetically_crystal
    unapologetically_crystal Posts: 278 Member
    Options
    the brain takes forever to catch up. im now at almost a year and a half of my journey and am just now starting to see myself in a different light. im proud of all that i have done and i really am gaining confidence. the thing is.. you are still the same person you were when you were heavier. you have to get rid of the negativity.. and replace it with positive thoughts and reminders. gotta fight your inner demons. im still "fat" but im okay with it. im healthier then before.. and i plan to continue on so there is no need to stay in the self loathing rut. why? because we are strong! we are amazing. we are rockstars. just admit it to yourself. you are pretty freakin awesome. best of luck. one day your brain will catch up. and its a beautiful thing!
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    Options
    Oh boy, my brain is so not there yet. I feel like I still take up the space of a 300+ pound person. I still have a pang in my heart when I'm at a restaurant and the hostess wants to seat our party at a booth. When I compare myself to others, the "me" I'm comparing is the big me. At least I'm aware of it and know that one day they'll sync up. In the meantime, it's just surreal.
  • xxcooneyxx
    xxcooneyxx Posts: 221 Member
    Options
    Oh boy, my brain is so not there yet. I feel like I still take up the space of a 300+ pound person. I still have a pang in my heart when I'm at a restaurant and the hostess wants to seat our party at a booth. When I compare myself to others, the "me" I'm comparing is the big me. At least I'm aware of it and know that one day they'll sync up. In the meantime, it's just surreal.

    Tell me about it! I still freak out when I sit in an office chair and I can put my arms at my sides without touching the arm rests.
  • Bettyeditor
    Bettyeditor Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    Wow, I can so relate to everything that you all are saying. I'm learning some things and it's helping me. For example, I need to start buying clothes that actually fit the new me instead of swimming around in my old clothes that are now miles too big. And I need to take pictures -- its true that I don't see 70 lbs gone when I look in the mirror. My body looks the same as it always has. I think it will take pictures to convince me.

    It is a weird dichotomy: half the time I don't feel like I lost an ounce (my body is the same lumpy shape... just a smaller version. but still lumpy and misshapen... maybe after I lose the last 50 lbs it will be different). But other times I feel small/skinny, like how I fit in a chair or how I swim around in my big clothes. So I either feel more fat or more thin than I actually am. so weird. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels slightly batty right now!
  • mrscarolbernard
    mrscarolbernard Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    Yeah, you're crazy like the rest of us :heart: I was skinny all my life until I met my husband 11 years ago. He likes to cook and in the beginning I felt bad if I didn't eat alot of what he made. That went on for a few years and 30-40 pounds later, I can't wear even my bigger clothes. So I told him - that's it. But when I look in the mirror it's like "Well not too bad" then I sit down & see my pot belly and say to myself "No you are a fatty". It's really hard to change the image of what we think we are and women are always harder on themselves than anybody else is going to be on them. I was married before to a very vain guy before and if I gained a pound it's like he knew it. My current wonderful husband says I look fine all the time. So listen to your husband he's the only one you have to impress anyway!! :flowerforyou:

    My story is the same as yours. Wasn't really into food until I met my husband and started cooking, going out for breakfast, etc. He's gained about 25 lbs in 12 years and I've gained 50+. But I've had enough and it's starting to go down now!
  • tzig00
    tzig00 Posts: 875 Member
    Options
    I'm so glad other people are like me. I was just writing one of my friends on this. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.
  • Bettyeditor
    Bettyeditor Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    Oh boy, my brain is so not there yet. I feel like I still take up the space of a 300+ pound person. I still have a pang in my heart when I'm at a restaurant and the hostess wants to seat our party at a booth. When I compare myself to others, the "me" I'm comparing is the big me. At least I'm aware of it and know that one day they'll sync up. In the meantime, it's just surreal.

    Tell me about it! I still freak out when I sit in an office chair and I can put my arms at my sides without touching the arm rests.

    That happened to me! I had a moment of panic when we got seated at a booth the other day because in a booth the table is bolted to the floor so you can't push it out to get more room. But to my surprise I fit behind the booth just fine. So surreal.

    And when I look at the size on my jeans that doesn't really register with my brain. It just doesn't compute. For years I would have killed to be this size. Now that I am..... it doesn't seem real.
  • debbylee_maxine
    debbylee_maxine Posts: 24 Member
    Options

    And PS, I still think I am 92lbs heavier when trying to navigate in space... I think there's not room for me to go from point A to point B. I'm still surprised when I sit in a seat and fit. Or when I'm laying in bed and my whole body sits on the mattress in a different way. No idea if that ever ends. I hope this helps. Losing weight is a complicated business. Physical, mental. It's a whole shift in your life. I've never felt so 'crazy' ever in my life.

    I tend to tuck my arms behind my back when trying to navigate through our tiny workspace in an attempt to squeeze through, I started that when I was close to three hundred pounds, and now that I'm 240, I still do it. And I'll probably continue to do it when I reach my goal weight.
  • yuckidah
    yuckidah Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    You're definitely not alone. i find it very hard to take compliments too - when people say 'Wow, you're looking great' all I can think is 'Fark I must have looked seriously gross before'.
    The only good side of this mindset is that it makes me seriously determined not to ever go back to where I was.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    I have only lost a total of about 40 lbs so far. For the first 6 months I didn't even know I was dieting. I started eating more foods with fiber in them that was the only nutrient I was actually tracking. I was aware of calories more because that information is also on the package right where you find the info on fiber, but anyway I wasn't focusing on calories or losing. I noticed more fiber made my joints feel better so I was going with that. I didn't have a scale so I don't know my exact starting weight, but I know it was a lot higher than what I weighed when I went to a doctor in March, because I was down a couple sizes. So anyway, I just got a scale recently and now it seems that the weight is coming off more slowly even though the opposite is likely true since I didn't exercise at all for the first 7 months. In any case, my mind isn't accepting that I need smaller clothes. A lot of stuff still fits me, but I have some pants that are literally just hanging off of my hips.
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    Options
    I look in hte mirror and *still* see the 135 pounds that I have lost. They say your brain catches up. Occasionally I get a glimpse in a mirror and dont recognize me...but then the old image is right back there again.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    Options
    I have only lost 21 pounds so far, but I am not really able to see the difference in my body. My husband sees it. Other people see it. I just don't. I look in the mirror and only see the negative bad points. It sucks, but I know that if I keep on doing what I'm doing, eventually, I will begin to see me again.
  • Ejourneys
    Ejourneys Posts: 1,603 Member
    Options
    I've been down this road many times before, and for me it's a full-body-and-brain experience. I've gone from chubby kid to lifelong yo-yo, including a bout with anorexia and being underweight. Right now I am thrilled with the way I look, imperfections and all (I'm currently about 20 lbs. heavier than I had been in the 2002 photo I use for my avatar).

    I can identify with navigating in space as though I'm still larger. That's just force of habit that it will take me a while to unlearn (again).

    I have to retrain my thinking with respect to temperature, because I'm more sensitive to cold. What blows my mind is that my partner and I have now flip-flopped due to her now-underactive thyroid. She's always been lean but has gained weight due to hypothyroidism. Used to be she wanted the thermostat set at a temperature that made me sweat; now she lowers the setting so that I put on extra layers. (I defer to her because she also has MS, which includes a host of environmental sensitivities.)

    I was also mercilessly teased about my weight as a kid, but luckily I learned a lesson early. Another girl in grade school class was considerably heavier than I was, but she wasn't teased the way I was. That confused the heck out of me until I realized that she followed the clique. Big lesson for me: It wasn't REALLY about the weight. It was about all kinds of conformity.

    In college I learned to love every single bit of me no matter what I looked like, and that was both hard and very scary. I was used to thinking of myself as really not having a body at all. But I forced myself to stand naked before a full-length mirror and accept everything I was from head to toe. This body is where I live and it truly is a gift.

    It also is not uniform. I am at the point now where my sit bones can feel it when I sit for a long time or on a hard surface, but my stomach still has more fat deposition than ideal. C'est la vie. Right now I'm more focused on sustainability than on shape, and I want to keep the good habits I've picked up no matter what. I'm just thrilled to be where I am -- again.
  • VeeSecrets
    VeeSecrets Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    My story starts out a little different I've always been skinny n tall well after 4 children, n stress I got up to 247lbs. Missing the old thin me I joined MFP n the weight has poured off???? now people r like ur so skinny n like u don't believe them cus the mirror looks the same as it has for 6 yrs. I'm getting better with it though n everyday is still a learning experience, but Im still going though the mental challenges too. My husband tells me too that i look skinny too. I guess we have to loss mentally n physicallly ????
  • majope
    majope Posts: 1,325 Member
    Options
    Sometimes, all I can see is how far I've come. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym, and I almost don't recognize myself. I look so slim! I have a waist! Look at my upper torso, it's so different! Those hips, they look so...normal!

    Other times, all I can see is how far I have to go. Oh, my god...look at the jiggle on that belly. Whoa, that's one serious double chin in that picture, fat girl! You're kidding yourself if you think you're slim now. Sure, you're not AS fat. But you're still fat.

    Reminds me of one of those optical illusions where the picture is either a vase or two faces:

    Facevase.JPG
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    Options
    Sometimes, all I can see is how far I've come. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym, and I almost don't recognize myself. I look so slim! I have a waist! Look at my upper torso, it's so different! Those hips, they look so...normal!

    Other times, all I can see is how far I have to go. Oh, my god...look at the jiggle on that belly. Whoa, that's one serious double chin in that picture, fat girl! You're kidding yourself if you think you're slim now. Sure, you're not AS fat. But you're still fat.

    Reminds me of one of those optical illusions where the picture is either a vase or two faces:

    Facevase.JPG

    My brain works the very same way! Peaks and troughs of happiness with my body.
  • FittyFitFitFit
    FittyFitFitFit Posts: 25
    Options
    I know exactly what you mean! I had been overweight since I was a toddler. 12 months at my goal weight and it still shocks me when people refer to me as skinny. I think it takes a bit for our brains to catch up and I am gradually beginning to see myself as slim. Weird too because it is only when I look in mirrors when I'm out that I go "holy crap I AM skinny!!" The mirror at home somehow still sees me as... well... not FAT but not skinny either.

    I'm also gradually learning to accept my body as it is... there is no such thing as a "perfect" body - there is such a thing as a fit, strong body and everyone, no matter what their height, proportions or age can have one of those!
  • brendaschmitt1
    brendaschmitt1 Posts: 218
    Options
    I was super thin in high school because I hardly ate and exercised like an animal so I am the opposite. I think I look great but I really need to lose weight.

Categories