Dieting and Relationships

Lilyyy7
Lilyyy7 Posts: 41
in Chit-Chat
I have found that dieting is hard when the person you are dating isn't as commited to fitness as I am.

The guy that I am currently dating is just skinny. He won't gain a pound even if he ate pizza all day. Naturally, he wants to eat pizza, and Chipotle... and drink a bunch of beer and alcohol. He's awesome, but his free spirited outlook on life and dieting is taking a toll on MY HEALTH AND DIETING. I can't eat like crazy because I will get pudgy immediately. I have goals, but I'm having such a hard time sticking to them.

Am I the only person having these issues? Where do you find the motivation to stick to a rigid workout and eating schedule when you are too busy having so much fun? lol.

Replies

  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I suggest you dump him already and find yourself someone equally as driven as you. Just don't fall off the wagon or you'll get replaced.
  • Lilyyy7
    Lilyyy7 Posts: 41
    Just don't fall off the wagon of you'll get replaced. LOL. I like that. .:laugh:
  • Joey_TheGreat
    Joey_TheGreat Posts: 29
    i'm in the same boat (but of course with a woman lol) i am constantly weighing my food, cooking for myself, dieting etc. She can eat whatever she wants and will not gain. She urges me to have cheat meals with her etc but i've come to conclude that at the end of the day its SELF DETERMINATION. yes it would be easier if she was into dieting working out and commit like i do but its life. ........ theres always the option of breaking up lol
  • Lilyyy7
    Lilyyy7 Posts: 41
    i'm in the same boat (but of course with a woman lol) i am constantly weighing my food, cooking for myself, dieting etc. She can eat whatever she wants and will not gain. She urges me to have cheat meals with her etc but i've come to conclude that at the end of the day its SELF DETERMINATION. yes it would be easier if she was into dieting working out and commit like i do but its life. ........ theres always the option of breaking up lol

    Strong man. I need to have some self control. LOLOL.
  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
    I have found that dieting is hard when the person you are dating isn't as commited to fitness as I am.

    The guy that I am currently dating is just skinny. He won't gain a pound even if he ate pizza all day. Naturally, he wants to eat pizza, and Chipotle... and drink a bunch of beer and alcohol. He's awesome, but his free spirited outlook on life and dieting is taking a toll on MY HEALTH AND DIETING. I can't eat like crazy because I will get pudgy immediately. I have goals, but I'm having such a hard time sticking to them.

    Am I the only person having these issues? Where do you find the motivation to stick to a rigid workout and eating schedule when you are too busy having so much fun? lol.

    I have that issue totally. I'm with someone who doesn't eat how I eat, and doesn't work out the way I do. If he wasn't as supportive to me as he is (seriously, holy crap -- MASSIVE support), I don't know how it could work for me. All I know is that boundaries are set in our house: if I can't eat it or it's a danger-red light-binge food, it either has to be REALLY WELL stashed, or left the hell out of the house. And he's been given s*** for it on occasion, too (particularly when the food comes in the shape of a bag of chocolate covered almonds...).

    Relationships like this make one either the most well-disciplined person on the face of the earth, or reveal them to be the most stubborn. To date, I haven't decided which category I fall under yet. :D
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    My SO has a very physical job, and a very poor diet. He will drink a pint of chocolate milk with four brownies and finish that off with a bag of chips and a mountain dew without thinking about it. He is naturally pretty athletic (6'2" 200lbs) but I wish he'd eat healthier. Sometimes its not so much about how much but about what you eat. I have just come to terms that he will be that way, though I have managed to get him to at better by cooking for him. :)
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    My fiance can't process vegetables. It's painful for him. He eats what he can digest without trouble, which is mostly pizza, Beefaroni and other stuff that isn't so healthy. I don't care what he eats because he doesn't force me to eat it with him. I cook him what he eats and I cook what I eat. Besides, I'm not on a diet. I still eat "junk" from time to time. I just control my portions. You are responsible for what you eat, and your partner is responsible for what he eats.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I suggest you dump him already and find yourself someone equally as driven as you. Just don't fall off the wagon or you'll get replaced.

    This. Unfortunately you guys have conflicting goals. Eventually you'll have to either submit and eat pizza or leave him and find someone who has similar interests.

    I'm available.
  • fufi04
    fufi04 Posts: 471 Member
    I just lost a good friend over this same issue. He claims I'm not myself anymore and that I've become "obsessed with fitness" and he finds it very annoying. I explained to him that getting to your goal weight and maintaining your goal weight are two different things but of course, he doesn't understand. Anyways, I decided to part ways with him, I don't need the negative energy in my life (:
  • psyquart
    psyquart Posts: 5
    My boyfriend was the same way, he is super skinny and can eat anything (and should, unless he wants to lose). I actually found it great motivation, the fact that I want to weigh less than my one foot taller boyfriend lol. Also, after seeing how committed to losing weight I am, he has decided that he'll start gaining weight so we can get fit together. If your boyfriend is skinny-fat, the fact that you're about to get hot as hell should motivate him to work hard to earn someone as fabulously attractive as you.

    However, if he's not the same way or doesn't need to get in better shape, just explain that you can't eat everything he does, and don't want to, and ask him to support you. If you have an otherwise great relationship, I wouldn't dump him. He should just understand that this is important to you and try to make it easier for you.
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    Since my DH stopped dragging us to all you can stuffs 3 times a week it's much easier to stay on my diet. He's also stopped encouraging me too eat too much since he can log in and look at my Food Diary and know if I'm anywhere near the amount of food I SHOULD be eating. He's also figured out that unless a 5'4" small framed woman is doing 2 hours of Tae Kwon Do a day she CAN NOT eat as much as a 6'4" large framed man and be anywhere near the "normal" BMI for said woman.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
    Im sure you can compromise with one another if you like each other a lot?

    I understand this though, Ive been in this situation up until recently and Its hard to maintain yourself when your dating/seeing someone new.

    good luck to you what ever you do :)
  • tanyalevan
    tanyalevan Posts: 182
    I am the same but unlike everyone's partners being skinny my boyfriend is pretty much in the same boat as me weight wise but he doesn't want to get as involved as I am which is fair enough but at least try! He hates being told what to do and often gets it confused with support...how do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped but yet he complains about his weight constantly?
  • selina884
    selina884 Posts: 826 Member
    When I was ready to settle in a relationship; one of my requirements were that he MUST be into health and fitness.


    Yeah, so. I don't have to complain now.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    Luckily, I don't have to problem at the moment!! (forever_alone.jpg)
  • tegantheaverage
    tegantheaverage Posts: 142 Member
    My boyfriend and I struggled to find a balance because, when I was eating how he needs to eat, I gained weight and then, when I started trying to get healthy, he was super supportive but ended up getting way too thin. Solution: He'd always make a big effort not to eat anything I couldn't have in front of me.. He'd say he was going to get some water and eat a chocolate bar in the kitchen (it actually took me a while to catch on) which is probably a bit extreme but my point is that I think as long as they're supportive of your goals it doesn't matter if their goals aren't the same. I also got him to start using MFP to make sure he put the weight back on and he would check my diary to see if I had room for a treat before he brought it home for me. It probably also helps that I just scaled down my portion sizes but don't actually deprive myself of anything; so, we can still have whisky and pizza on Friday night, I just get less.

    ETA: You're stunning!
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    I do this for me, and you shouldn't want to force your eating habits on anyone.

    My boyfriend is skinny, doesn't have a pound to lose. He does eat diner with me (we cook together) but during the day and on weekends he eats whatever he wants. I should be strong enough to not give in to that.

    If it bothers you that much, dump him. This is your problem, not his ;)

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