What Is Your Ultimate Cheat Meal?

I ve got to wait another week or two but ...

there is a place where i ll have,

2bowls of soup , 4 bread rolls with butter. 2 melon and gamon steaks( if they are crispy another 2 ) , pieces of garlic bread and mushroom pizza with prawn crackers, 3 portions of turkey breast off the joint and a couple of roast potatoes. 2 chicken with wing breasts maybe in a roll and in between it all try what everyone else has selected and go get some if i like it...then its time for a juicy moist large piece of carrot cake, a large piece of chocolate cake with fresh cream and back for profiteroles and cream. If the apple crumble is on i ll have that with cream and while things settle i ll let my ice crean soften and eat that slowly.
At this point i ll think about the dog at home and go get a couple of portions of gamon and turkey, but the reality is the dog only gets a bit and i eat it cold when home but dont worry as i wash it all down with a healthy free top up of diet cola or diet orange .

I m not joking, we dont go very often at all and for some reason when you ve paid £5.99 for as much as you can eat of well prepared food non of us know how not to make it the best value calorie overload possible and we all feel bad all evening and swear we ll never go again.