Things People Say That Infuriate Me
myohmy2419
Posts: 6 Member
I'm kinda just venting here...Want to know everyone's thoughts on these types of things and similar stories.
1) My mom: "Well, don't get rid of those bigger clothes, put them in a box and keep them *JUST IN CASE*". How is this supposed to be a helpful comment? I'm not making all these enormously healthy changes to my nutrition, body, lifestyle, and most importantly MINDSET for short term benefits! This is for the long haul! I have no plans to allow myself to go back up to my prior sizes, and keeping larger clothes *just in case* will only be a temptation to do just that. If I someday, with only a smaller-sized wardrobe to choose from, find that my clothes are getting tight, it will be easier to simply clean up my eating and exercise than to go shell out several hundred $$ for a new wardrobe again.
2) My ridiculously skinny (like size 0, can wear toddlers clothing) but not at all toned friend: "Ew, look at you being all healthy over there. You're making me look bad. But as long as I exercise some during the school year, I don't need to eat stuff like that!" Do I even need to explain this? But I want to shake her, because she may not be gaining weight, but she is KILLING her body nutrition-wise. SO frustrating to watch.
3) Several people, including my mom: "A size 7? You're going to look anorexic! You've never been a size 7 in your whole life!" (Also, "145 lb? Are you getting obsessive about this health kick thing? Don't overdo it!") Again, HOW IS THIS HELPFUL? Of course I am not going to look anorexic, and by the way, thanks so much for using such a serious problem to describe me being an athletic thin. I am 5'7" 161 lb now and just squeezing into some size 9s for the first time in 3 years or so, I think my body can handle a size 7. On the weight front, I definitely can afford to lose 15 more pounds, it's just distributed such that most people can't tell how much I actually do weigh. But in any case, it's not anyone's business but mine; nobody knows my body as well as me.
4) Same people: "Why on earth would you ever want to run a marathon? I don't see the point of that". Well, you know what? I can. I will feel unstoppable, on top of the world when I one day in the next few years accomplish this goal - THAT'S the point.
5) My 2 good friends, who I generally adore: no helpful comments, accompanied by looks when I order the healthy options at the restaurants, and flat-out pleading/cajoling/mockery when I refuse to order dessert with them. Question: Why should MY choices have any effect on you whatsoever? If you want to eat junk, go right ahead! I'll sit over here with my baked fish, rice pilaf and steamed-to-perfection broccoli (which is all DELICIOUS imo) and be perfectly content, whereas you seem to be taking my choices as a personal affront. Funny how people get upset when someone else's example causes them to examine things they don't particularly want to have to examine.
The funny thing is, none of these comments have even come close to derailing me from my course. I am seriously committed and successful, and nobody can get in my way but me. On the other hand, it's still SO IRRITATING! Has anybody else dealt with these kinds of comments and issues?
1) My mom: "Well, don't get rid of those bigger clothes, put them in a box and keep them *JUST IN CASE*". How is this supposed to be a helpful comment? I'm not making all these enormously healthy changes to my nutrition, body, lifestyle, and most importantly MINDSET for short term benefits! This is for the long haul! I have no plans to allow myself to go back up to my prior sizes, and keeping larger clothes *just in case* will only be a temptation to do just that. If I someday, with only a smaller-sized wardrobe to choose from, find that my clothes are getting tight, it will be easier to simply clean up my eating and exercise than to go shell out several hundred $$ for a new wardrobe again.
2) My ridiculously skinny (like size 0, can wear toddlers clothing) but not at all toned friend: "Ew, look at you being all healthy over there. You're making me look bad. But as long as I exercise some during the school year, I don't need to eat stuff like that!" Do I even need to explain this? But I want to shake her, because she may not be gaining weight, but she is KILLING her body nutrition-wise. SO frustrating to watch.
3) Several people, including my mom: "A size 7? You're going to look anorexic! You've never been a size 7 in your whole life!" (Also, "145 lb? Are you getting obsessive about this health kick thing? Don't overdo it!") Again, HOW IS THIS HELPFUL? Of course I am not going to look anorexic, and by the way, thanks so much for using such a serious problem to describe me being an athletic thin. I am 5'7" 161 lb now and just squeezing into some size 9s for the first time in 3 years or so, I think my body can handle a size 7. On the weight front, I definitely can afford to lose 15 more pounds, it's just distributed such that most people can't tell how much I actually do weigh. But in any case, it's not anyone's business but mine; nobody knows my body as well as me.
4) Same people: "Why on earth would you ever want to run a marathon? I don't see the point of that". Well, you know what? I can. I will feel unstoppable, on top of the world when I one day in the next few years accomplish this goal - THAT'S the point.
5) My 2 good friends, who I generally adore: no helpful comments, accompanied by looks when I order the healthy options at the restaurants, and flat-out pleading/cajoling/mockery when I refuse to order dessert with them. Question: Why should MY choices have any effect on you whatsoever? If you want to eat junk, go right ahead! I'll sit over here with my baked fish, rice pilaf and steamed-to-perfection broccoli (which is all DELICIOUS imo) and be perfectly content, whereas you seem to be taking my choices as a personal affront. Funny how people get upset when someone else's example causes them to examine things they don't particularly want to have to examine.
The funny thing is, none of these comments have even come close to derailing me from my course. I am seriously committed and successful, and nobody can get in my way but me. On the other hand, it's still SO IRRITATING! Has anybody else dealt with these kinds of comments and issues?
0
Replies
-
"The funny thing is, none of these comments have even come close to derailing me from my course. I am seriously committed and successful, and nobody can get in my way but me. "
That's awesome!!:drinker:
0 -
I have heard so many of those comments and it makes me crazy! I've even lost friends because I don't want to eat at restaurants anymore. I prefer to make my own food so that I know exactly what I am eating. The "you're starting to look anorexic" comment drives me up the wall. My sister told me that and I told her that I am at the high end of healthy weight for me, its just that we are around so many overweight people we have all forgotten what healthy looks like.0
-
Wow that is all I can say :mad: . You know what misery loves company and sometimes those who are supposed to love you (family, spouse, friends) will make you feel your ****tiest :grumble: . Glad you aren't letting them because you are doing this for YOU and not to please anyone else . Hell if you are happy being a size 0 like Ms. Toddler Clothes wearing woman then you go for it. A size 7 is perfectly fine, that is the size I am going for and NO its not anorexic. Next time show them a dictionary with a picture of what an anorexic person looks like so they have their facts straight :blushing:
Keep up the great job :drinker:0 -
So far I've lost 25 lbs and am at the lowest weight since my first pregnancy 5 years ago. I get lots of compliments on how I look but when I tell them I still have 50 lbs to go....they all freak out! Seems like its the ones that are already skinny. I'd like to ask them how much they weigh and what they eat????0
-
I like to think as life as a comedy and just laugh off all the ridiculous things people say to me!! I've been where you are- it's hard, but don't let it get you down! If a healthy lifestyle is not even on someone's radar, it's hard for them to understand why it's so important to you.0
-
I know these comments can be frustrating at times. Depending on who is giving them, they are probably coming from a place of envy, jealousy and maybe even fear. Also, if you have tried to lose weight before and perhaps were not as successful, they may be waiting for the infamous, other shoe to drop! As excited as you are about these awesome changes to your health and body, these changes may not be as easy for those close to you to handle. They may feel like they are losing you in your process of losing weight.
I am in no way trying to justify these comments, I know they can seem unsupportive. I'm just trying to give another perspective that many of us might not see on the surface.
I think it's great that you are really make life long changes for the good of your health. The fact that you are hanging in there though this, proves you are serious. Keep on going - you can do it! Before you know it, they will be on board and you will look great. Who knows... you may even inspire these same folks to join you!0 -
I think you hit the nail on the head!! I do think that statement holds so much truth:drinker:I have heard so many of those comments and it makes me crazy! I've even lost friends because I don't want to eat at restaurants anymore. I prefer to make my own food so that I know exactly what I am eating. The "you're starting to look anorexic" comment drives me up the wall. My sister told me that and I told her that I am at the high end of healthy weight for me,
its just that we are around so many overweight people we have all forgotten what healthy looks like.0 -
Just wait on #2 when all of the sudden she's not a size 0 anymore and then you can say, " i told you so." I haven't tried eating healthy out much yet (will really change when I go home in a couple weeks), though one time my wife's friend asked if I was a vegetarian. One of my goals is to do a triathlon, but I haven't told many of my non-work out friends that one.
I hope these comments just drive you to stay on track and not just drive you mad.0 -
People learn to like you the way you were... Not what you have become... Most are trying to help but really don't understand. I have cancer and lost the weight and increased my exercise to help me fight it. People are almost always uncomfortable with those 2 facts. I smile and keep the faith. My weight loss and exercise program have reduced my cancer numbers and that is all that matters to me!
I will tell you what my oncologist told me, "healthy people live longer". So get healthy, for you , not for your friends and family, and just smile when your friends and family try to help with those comments. Because in the long run it is just you in your skin that will make a difference in your life.
Good luck on your journey and stay STRONG!!!
Steven0 -
It was great to hear your frustration, and sarcastic humor, with these comments. I've been on the receiving end of almost every one of those comments. Yeah for you for seeing it as a challenge to overcome! Unfortunately, I've always been defeated by the comments and quit trying. Maybe things will change:)0
-
yep heard them mainly from my mum who is the same height as me and 20lbs heavier she will moan about her weight why cant she lose any said while eating icecream bars and chocolate and now i have dropped a dress size lost 16lbs off my tummy she is saying im obsessive and i should stop now
noit a chance my target is 125lbs i have 9lbs to go 125 is in th emiddle of healthy weight for my height and no one will stop me i am ube rlucky though i have a supportive husband0 -
I mentioned it on another post with a similar topic, but really, the best thing you can do is thank someone for their compliment or concern and leave it at that.
it's not a good idea to get deeper than that because it's really personal. to say to someone "i have to lose 50 more pounds" might freak them out, especially if they don't see you as being especially overweight, because
a) they may not understand how much 50lbs looks
b) to lose 50lbs for themselves would be dangerous, and therefore dangerous for you too (fuzzy logic)
c) it may actually be dangerous for you to lose 50lbs
d) you don't yet know 50lbs is the number you're looking for!
so when you say things like that, people do freak out and only because they care. so keep it private unless you *like* the drama. 0 -
I think this is the best piece of advice. You will never be able to control what other people think and/or say, so it makes sense to work on what you can control, and that is how you respond to them. If you let those comments get under your skin and infuriate you, you're just wasting energy you could be using for something more positive. If you're confident you are on the right path for you, then just smile to yourself when people make unsupportive comments, whether they're made out of spite or just plain ignorance. Hang in there and good luck!I like to think as life as a comedy and just laugh off all the ridiculous things people say to me!! I've been where you are- it's hard, but don't let it get you down! If a healthy lifestyle is not even on someone's radar, it's hard for them to understand why it's so important to you.0 -
:drinker:People learn to like you the way you were... Not what you have become... Most are trying to help but really don't understand. I have cancer and lost the weight and increased my exercise to help me fight it. People are almost always uncomfortable with those 2 facts. I smile and keep the faith. My weight loss and exercise program have reduced my cancer numbers and that is all that matters to me!
I will tell you what my oncologist told me, "healthy people live longer". So get healthy, for you , not for your friends and family, and just smile when your friends and family try to help with those comments. Because in the long run it is just you in your skin that will make a difference in your life.
Good luck on your journey and stay STRONG!!!
Steven0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions