Thinking about giving up.

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I'm a busy person. I have school work and musical rehearsal until really late after school. But I come home after putting in good 9/10 hour days at school and I'm so tired and I force myself to go running for a good 1-2 hours. And I gained .5 of a pound. Yes I know that's not a lot and it could just be water weight but I'm so frustrated because I try so hard and I cut all my favorite things out of my diet and I run myself into the ground trying to juggle exercise on top of everything else and I'm not getting results. I'm starting to think maybe I'm not meant to be thin. Maybe I should just give up. I hate the way I look and I want to look and feel good for the summer but I'm too exahausted to keep pushing myself if I'm not going to get results.

Sorry for this I just needed to vent. My parents are getting all annoyed at me for being upset but they don't understand. My mom is losing weight an she's not even exercising and my dad just cut out soda and dropped ten pounds- he's not exercising either. I'm the one who's putting in the most effort and getting the worst results and I'm sick of it.
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Replies

  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
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    DO NOT GIVE UP!!! First off change your thinking from wanting to be thin , to wanting to be fit. Being as busy as you sound you are just wearing yourself out. You dont need to run for 1-2 hours and add more exhaustion to your body. Stress can add pounds as well. Re evaluate your weekly schedule see where you can fit proper exercise in ( some strength training and a few days of cardio for no more than an hour). Also make sure you are eating enough proper food and allowing for an ocasional treat or two. It will pay off , just stick with it and prioritize.
  • foleyshirley
    foleyshirley Posts: 1,043 Member
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    You need to give yourself, and your body, a break. No one needs to run 1 to 2 hours a day to lose weight. And you don't need to cut out all your favorite foods. No wonder you are stressed and unhappy. Do some research on here and learn about your TDEE (how many calories you use in a day). Start eating at a moderate deficit, and include some of your favorite foods. Just watch your portion sizes. Add in moderate exercise. And take rest days. Most important, relax. Stress is a weight loss killer!

    Don't compare your weight loss to your dad's. Men lose faster in general than women. Yes, it sucks, but it is what it is.

    This is an exciting time in your life. Enjoy it, and take this weight loss thing slow and steady.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Yeah, you really don't need to run that much. You'd be surprised at what you can do with your body with half that amount of cardio, alternated with weight training. And if you're already worn out at the end of the day, try to see if you feel better working out at the beginning of your day instead of the end. I've found switching like that gave me more energy for the rest of my day. It took some time to get used to getting up earlier, but I also get to bed earlier and get a better sleep now.

    You have to find what works for you, and doesn't make you miserable or you won't stick to it (obviously, as you're thinking about quitting already). You don't have to give up everything- you have to learn moderation. Even in your workouts. It took me forever to get up the "want to" this round of weight loss. Yeah, I'm going slower than when I lost that first 140 pounds (had a baby since then, put some weight on- that's what I'm working on losing), but even at 1-2 pounds a week, I look back and am glad I stuck to it, because I'm 46 pounds lighter than I was in November- and I'll be at my goal by summer. It's worth it. Don't give up. You'll never get there if you quit, and you'll be just as depressed about that as you are right now about how difficult it is.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Part of the reason people fail is because they go from 0 to 60 in .02 seconds and burn themselves out. Balls to the wall, go from Big Macs to celery sticks, exercise tons when you never used to, give up all drinks but water in a single day, efforts rarely work out. You feel deprived, cheated, and exhausted.

    I noticed you said you cut out your favorite foods. Try adding them back in - either smaller portions or else healthier versions of them. That removes the taboo and eventual feelings of cheating yourself. It also helps alleviate spirals of shame when you do "break down" and eat them.

    Exercise but slowly. It doesn't need to be everyday. Just what you have time for. If you can only get in an hour and a half a week - that's still more than you were doing before. Find an exercise you like. I have always disliked cardio so I do Pilates instead. Finding a form of movement you enjoy goes a long way.

    Small goals you can keep up on are better than large ones that you can't.

    Don't give up. Just change speeds.
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
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    I've been doing this since September 20, 2012 I'm down 44 pounds. It's not coming off quickly but it's coming off. Sometimes I'm up as much as 10 pounds from water weight. HOWEVER, even when I'm up 10 pounds from water weight I'm still down 34 pounds. Stress can make you gain weight as well. I'm betting your parents are losing lean muscle mass instead of fat though with your father cutting out sodas I'm not surprised he lost 10 pounds right away. Those things are scary calorie dense. You CAN do this. QuirkyTizzy has a lot of great ideas for you here. *HUGS*
  • kenzieg2017
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    Thank you for your responses. I think that since I'm stressed about my AP tests and the musical, this exercising regimine is just killing me so this week I'm going to take a week off of exercising, try to eat healthy and hopefully maintain my weight and next week when the craziness is over I'll get back into it again. Thanks again!
  • Xhell_on_heelsX
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    Girl..I'm raising a child, going to school (starting nursing clinicals) and working...you can do it believe me. Don't put weight loss/getting fit off just because things get rough, you'll only regret it, I promise you. Good luck with everything
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    What's your calorie intake like? You can exercise all you want but if you don't have a deficit you won't lose anything. Don't give up!
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Don't give up! Maybe just reassess how you're going about things. I agree with others that have said you absolutely do not have to run for 2 hours a day to lose weight. Actually, you don't have to do any exercise at all to lose weight. (Not that I'm recommending that route - exercise has a ton of physical & mental benefits). To lose weight, you need a calorie deficit, and the main way to do that is through your diet. 2 hours of cardio a day is probably overdoing it. Too much exercise can increase your levels of cortisol - a stress hormone that can actually negatively affect your efforts to lose weight. Additionally, you risk burning out, which it sounds like might be happening now. I run max 3 times a week, for up to an hour, and I lift weights 3 times a week. Other than that, I will do yoga and walk, mostly for the psychological benefits. So firstly: cut back on the exercise. You said it yourself, you're exhausted and you're not seeing results, so that's one thing to change! Also, do you actually enjoy running? Doing exercise that you have to "force" yourself to do sounds miserable! If you don't like running, I agree with quirkytizzy: find something you really enjoy.

    The next thing to look at is your diet. You don't need to cut out all your favourite things. I lost 55 ish lbs last year, and I didn't cut out a single food or food group. Honestly, I still ate (and eat) bread, (white) pasta, cheese, chocolate, ice cream, bacon, butter, etc and I still drink alcohol. I just eat them in appropriate portions, fit them into my calorie goal and make sure that I get a wide variety of nutrient-dense foods as well. I realised at the beginning that cutting out all the foods I liked would make me miserable and less likely to continue. I found a way of eating that I could maintain long-term, and I don't feel like quitting now, because I'm just eating the foods I like. I'm not saying don't make any changes to your diet - make whatever changes you feel necessary for your health, but make them small, gradual changes that you know you can live with.

    You don't say how much you're eating, or how long you've been at this. If you've been trying consistently for a long time, then it's worth looking at how much you're eating and making adjustments. This is a really helpful group where you can post asking for more specific advice on your calorie intake: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/10067-eat-train-progress-

    Weight loss is hard. That's a fact, otherwise more people would be successful. However, it doesn't have to be torture. Try and step back and take a few deep breaths. Stop comparing your progress with other people's because you never know what is underlying them. It may seem like your dad just gave up soda, but he may have made other changes you don't realise (or even he doesn't realise) and he probably burns a lot more energy than you just to exist. Comparing yourself to him won't get you anywhere.

    You can do this, you really can. I'm sure you already realise that quitting isn't going to get you where you want. Just try to relax a bit, ease up on the exercise, make your diet a bit more reasonable and easy to stick to, and maybe have a look at your calorie intake.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    You are very cute and looking at your pics, you don't look like you have a whole lot to lose. Relax a little with the exercise. You don't need to run so much. Like someone else mentioned, you can exercise all you want, but if you don't have a calorie deficit, you won't lose. Watch your diet, fit some of your favorites in so you don't feel overly deprived, and be patient. Don't give up, being fit is worth it.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    You've been here less than a month and you're down 5 lbs! That's great progress. I think you need to do a couple of things. Adjust your expectations. In another thread you mention that you watch the Biggest Loser. Personally I think that show sets people up with unrealistic ideas of what weight loss will be like. 1 pound a week is a good rate.

    You don't have to spend hours and hours every day exercising. Personally I exercise by lifting weights for 35-45 minutes 3 days per week and about an hour of cardio once per week. Exercise is good but it seems like you're burning yourself out doing too much.

    You also don't have to cut out all the food you love. Just practice moderation. I do an 80/20 approach. 80% of my calories go toward healthy food. 20% is for treats. I make sure I get enough protein, eat a couple servings of veggies, and hit my calorie goal, and that's it.

    Make sure your calorie goal is realistic. Try this link.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/963088-level-obstacles-lose-weight-target-fat-easy

    And be patient. Developing patience is difficult, but necessary if you're going to be successful. Good luck. :flowerforyou:
  • skoecher45
    skoecher45 Posts: 11 Member
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    Hi... I'm a 64 year old grandma who weighed 128 when I got married to the love of my life 34 years ago. He is and always has been skinny as a rail. Anyway, after getting up to 182 and constantly looking at myself in the mirror and saying "you look fat because you are fat" ... well, I got really sick of it and at my age it isn't just the weight, it's all about being healthy. And with my height and bone structure, 182 isn't/wasn't healthy. I joined MFP on the 10th of April and I've lossed 6 lbs and a few inches. (And shortly after I joined the scales jumped to 185... that was depressing.) But with constant support and encouragement from this site I managed to loose a few pounds and I feel so much better for it. I know I have a long way to go.

    Don't give up! Come to this site often and see how others are coping. For me it's been soooooooooo encouraging.
  • pen2u
    pen2u Posts: 224 Member
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    You might be over training. Back off the intense exercise regimen, continue to eat a healthy diet within proper caloric guidelines (don't starve yourself but do keep a reasonable deficit) and get plenty of sleep. Stay hydrated. Don't be focused on the scale! There are other ways to measure progress such as how good you feel or how your clothes fit. A happy, healthy, fit life is the goal - weight loss will happen if you are moderately active and eating correctly.
  • lahlstephens
    lahlstephens Posts: 28 Member
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    Please don't give up, but don't stress yourself out either. Exercise relieves stress, so it's great to help combat all that you have going on in your life. However, it seems like you are overdoing it. You may want to try the Jillian Michaels dvd's that only take anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes. I'm doing the 30 day shred and its over in 20 minutes and I get a great circuit training workout. I would suggest running every other day for a half hour and adding in strength training or pop in a dvd and get a quick workout on the other days. Eat healthy and enough calories to fuel your busy life and drink lots of water. Water gives you tons of energy. You are young, take it from me....adopt a healthy lifestyle now because later it is much more difficult.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    If you have to cut all your favorite things out of your diet, you're not eating enough. Typically if I exercise, I can have a treat. My goal is 1400 without exercise... up to 1800 with. Of course it's smaller treats or healthier ones, and I avoid fried food, but I honestly don't feel like I'm deprived of anything.

    Don't give up. I wish I could go back to when I was 22 and force myself to stick to it. No you probably won't look good this Summer, but you can look fantastic next Summer. If your parents are not really making much of an effort to lose weight, they'll stop losing eventually.
  • Shetchncn1
    Shetchncn1 Posts: 260 Member
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    You have a choice to make. If you want the change then the answer is keep going. You could restructure a few things to make the time crunch easier on yourself or exercise in the morning. .. There is always an answer you just have to make the decision and if you quit then one thing will absolutely happen - not what you want to happen.

    I have a FT job, 2 small kids in school, a house to maintain and an aging parent to keep up with. Trust me multi-tasking is key!
  • missybct
    missybct Posts: 321 Member
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    You've been here less than a month and you're down 5 lbs! That's great progress. I think you need to do a couple of things. Adjust your expectations. In another thread you mention that you watch the Biggest Loser. Personally I think that show sets people up with unrealistic ideas of what weight loss will be like. 1 pound a week is a good rate.

    You don't have to spend hours and hours every day exercising. Personally I exercise by lifting weights for 35-45 minutes 3 days per week and about an hour of cardio once per week. Exercise is good but it seems like you're burning yourself out doing too much.

    You also don't have to cut out all the food you love. Just practice moderation. I do an 80/20 approach. 80% of my calories go toward healthy food. 20% is for treats. I make sure I get enough protein, eat a couple servings of veggies, and hit my calorie goal, and that's it.

    Make sure your calorie goal is realistic. Try this link.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/963088-level-obstacles-lose-weight-target-fat-easy

    And be patient. Developing patience is difficult, but necessary if you're going to be successful. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

    This this this! ^^^^^

    The thing with wanting to lose weight/be healthy/look better is it needs to be sustainable. You CAN eat the things you like and you DON'T have to run for 1-2 hours - no wonder you are completely spent. If you go from eating McDonalds and only exercising walking to school and back and then reverse your behaviour, your body is going to go WTF? Personally, I would spend the next month thinking hard about foods you like, recipes that you enjoy eating but could modify slightly, getting SOME exercise in (I'd really recommend weight training, even if it's with cans of beans or whatever) and just relax. You sound stressed with school and putting all this pressure on yourself is not helpful for either scenario. I know it's easier said than done - three years ago I lost 60bs and put myself under so much pressure. In the end? I caved - I gave up - I stopped running and walking and I started binging because I was eating too little, exercising too much and driving myself bonkers with the pressure of trying to lose as much weight as possible. I put all that weight back on, plus another 20lbs.

    Eating healthily is a lifestyle you may need to adapt to for life. It is NOT a curse; it's a blessing. I have a friend who can eat all the junk she wants and drinks wine and beer like a fish and not an ounce goes on her. But, I know my body is thanking me for putting good, clean food in my mouth and allowing myself treats every so often.

    RE: Biggest Loser - I love and hate this programme. It's inspiring but it's also very dangerous to those who think weight loss like that is normal - it's not. It's a TV programme designed to attract viewers and in order to do that they need to lose large quantities of weight quickly - they make it seem as if it's a "week on week" thing but isn't always the case. Nobody should work out for 7 hours a day, unless they are a professional athlete, because if you think about it, when the weight is lost and you're feeling fab, you're not going to be thinking about busting your gut at the gym for 7 hours a day - plus you probably wouldn't have the time - I don't!

    xxx
  • mareeee1234
    mareeee1234 Posts: 674 Member
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    Listen to the advice given, and check out those links.

    Figure out your appropriate calorie goal with your tdee/bmr.

    And: If you give up now you WILL regret it later. Fact. Sooo.. don't :smile:
  • Starfish1125
    Starfish1125 Posts: 169 Member
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    Wow - your body is probably in shock from all that exercise, sweetheart! Slow down. Take some time to enjoy exercising. Running 1-2 hours is insane UNLESS you're training for a marathon and even then it's not a daily occurrence.

    I'm a full-time working mom, going to school full time at night, raising kids, taking care of pets, etc. - you CAN do this. It's just not going to work if you are doing it to the point of exhaustion....*hugs*
  • abheshek
    abheshek Posts: 525 Member
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    same issue here

    i run for 2 miles,cycle for 2.5 miles and swim for half a mile daily along with various stringent exercises but still then my weight loss is very slow