People that are Starving themselves

ekahnicole
ekahnicole Posts: 216 Member
It baffles me when I look at some people's diaries and see 500-800 calories a day, often with over 500 calories burned in exercise in a day.

Honestly it's such a sad thing to see, if they haven't developed an eating disorder, they will.

And you know what's worse (and what prompted me making this thread) is seeing people commenting after they complete their entry saying "great day!" "way to go" "awesome job!"

:/

I don't know if I should take them off of my friend's list or what, I just can't stand seeing that.
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Replies

  • Heyyleigh
    Heyyleigh Posts: 268 Member
    delete them, and move on. it too drives me crazy- all the threads too about 1200 cals etc....
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
    Can't save everyone.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    I delete them. It makes it hard for me when they're dropping weight like crazy and I am doing it slowly, slow and steady wins every time. :happy:
  • Nikki_WantsIt
    Nikki_WantsIt Posts: 204 Member
    OP: I looove your hair.
  • seena511
    seena511 Posts: 685 Member
    And you know what's worse (and what prompted me making this thread) is seeing people commenting after they complete their entry saying "great day!" "way to go" "awesome job!"

    this makes me so angry. i have a disclaimer in my profile not to add me if you starve yourself. if someone i add consistently logs under 1200 net, i unfriend.
  • heidihorton
    heidihorton Posts: 110 Member
    I agree, I do stay at 1200 cals but if I exercise I eat them back. It was a gradual reduction for me from when I started so I don't think I noticed any starvation but agree with logging 800 cals and burning 500 is soooo bad for you not trying to be snarky I really do agree :)
  • FitandFab33
    FitandFab33 Posts: 718 Member
    Yeah- that IS disordered eating.

    I don't keep MFP pals with those behaviors (with former tendencies I find it's a trigger for me) unless they're in active recovery and looking for support for that aspect.
  • americangirlok
    americangirlok Posts: 228 Member
    I'm not sure that everyone looks at the diary before commenting. I think sometimes people have lots of friends and see that "so and so completed their diary and is under their calorie goal." And sometimes will respond "Way to go" w/ out actually looking through it.

    But I do think that there are folks that either think netting 500 calories is good and aim for that and congratulate their friends for netting so low. And I think there's a difference between one or two super low days rather than every day being super low.

    But at any rate I like food, so it's a pretty rare occurrence for me to get that low- and I'm just trying to not encourage super small net numbers like that if I encounter it on my news feed. Maybe they have a reason for it, maybe they don't but I don't feel like looking at someone's diary here and there gives me the right to tell them they have an eating disorder. I have friends that truly do- and honestly I think if someone were using MFP to aid them in their anorexia they'd probably close their diary, or log things they didn't eat just so that people wouldn't be jumping on them about it (out of concern, not to be a giant DB). And I think there are people that are trying to recover from an eating disorder and are posting honestly about their logs and need all the encouragment they can get.

    Anywho, yeah, my goal is to not encourage super small numbers, but I'm not going to start prying and throwing out the term "eating disorder" for people who net really low, really often. If I develop a rapport w/ them I might kindly say something, but I'm not sure that my newsfeed is the place for that. (And I deliberately leave my "diet" stuff and weight loss goals off of facebook b/c I don't want to trigger those friends to fall when they are fighting so hard for normal and healthy and to stay in recovery.)
  • ekahnicole
    ekahnicole Posts: 216 Member
    this makes me so angry. i have a disclaimer in my profile not to add me if you starve yourself. if someone i add consistently logs under 1200 net, i unfriend.

    I'm going to add a disclaimer in mine as well
  • ekahnicole
    ekahnicole Posts: 216 Member
    OP: I looove your hair.

    Thank you! xD
  • ekahnicole
    ekahnicole Posts: 216 Member
    I'm not sure that everyone looks at the diary before commenting. I think sometimes people have lots of friends and see that "so and so completed their diary and is under their calorie goal." And sometimes will respond "Way to go" w/ out actually looking through it.

    But I do think that there are folks that either think netting 500 calories is good and aim for that and congratulate their friends for netting so low. And I think there's a difference between one or two super low days rather than every day being super low.

    But at any rate I like food, so it's a pretty rare occurrence for me to get that low- and I'm just trying to not encourage super small net numbers like that if I encounter it on my news feed. Maybe they have a reason for it, maybe they don't but I don't feel like looking at someone's diary here and there gives me the right to tell them they have an eating disorder. I have friends that truly do- and honestly I think if someone were using MFP to aid them in their anorexia they'd probably close their diary, or log things they didn't eat just so that people wouldn't be jumping on them about it (out of concern, not to be a giant DB). And I think there are people that are trying to recover from an eating disorder and are posting honestly about their logs and need all the encouragment they can get.

    Anywho, yeah, my goal is to not encourage super small numbers, but I'm not going to start prying and throwing out the term "eating disorder" for people who net really low, really often. If I develop a rapport w/ them I might kindly say something, but I'm not sure that my newsfeed is the place for that. (And I deliberately leave my "diet" stuff and weight loss goals off of facebook b/c I don't want to trigger those friends to fall when they are fighting so hard for normal and healthy and to stay in recovery.)

    I ended up looking at 2 weeks worth of diary entries for this particular person, they were between 500-800 every single day and burned over 500 calories in exercise every day, plus eating very little real food. Mostly protein bars.

    That is most definitely different than occasionally netting below 1200 cals (I know I have 2-3 days since I've been here where I only netted 700-1000, but it wasn't because I was *trying* to eat that low).
  • americangirlok
    americangirlok Posts: 228 Member
    That is different. I missed that you were referring to a specific person and not just people in general who routinely net that low. My thought is that if it's triggering you to engage in something unhealthy that you probably need to disengage from this person, but if it's someone you feel like you've developed a relationship with then I would send him or her a private message and just say something like, "hey, I noticed your diary and I was wondering if you are happy with what you are eating and are you feeling good most days?" and try to offer some kind advice, but clearly you know the person you are talking about better than I do.

    I'm just saying that I personally do not feel like I know enough about the people in my news feed that I would feel comfortable confronting them about it- out of fear that they'd take it the wrong way and it wouldn't help them but make it worse. It's hard enough to help those people that are my real world friends, let alone the ones I only know through MFP. But I haven't been here long and maybe when I've had more interaction with them I would.

    And I absolutely agree that cheering people on for routinely (like 5 days out of 7) netting around 500 calories is not helpful. But I know that there have been days I see the generic newsfeed message pop up and say good job w/out having culled through the data in the diary.
  • americangirlok
    americangirlok Posts: 228 Member
    And yes, your hair is super cool!
  • Don't unfriend me! I rarely look at other people's food diaries. If I am reinforcing a negative behavior, I don't realize it. I will have to be more careful.
  • tcj83704
    tcj83704 Posts: 8
    Hi everyone, I'm new to all of this calorie counting stuff but I'm having a bit of a problem. Actually an opposite problem from what I thought I'd have. I log everything that goes into my mouth, and MFP gave me a goal intake of 1400 per day. As dumb as this sounds, I'm having a really hard time meeting this goal. I come in around 1000 per day, and often find days that I go drink a glass of milk or eat something when I really am not hungry just to be over 1200. I read somewhere that under 1200 was not good. I feel like I eat a lot. For example, today I had one packet of 100 cal oatmeal for breakfast and 2 Tbsp of half and half in my coffee, a banana a couple hours later. Then a frozen lean cuisine for lunch. Then a fiber one bar. For dinner I had baked potatoes, 4 oz of roast beef, and carrots. This all came in at about 998 for the whole day. I ate a pb&j 2 hours after dinner just to make it to 1400. I don't want to be eating when I'm not hungry, but I also don't want to eat too few calories that my metabolism slows. Any suggestions on what I need to change or what to do? Or is it even a big deal?

    Prior to this eating change I have made we pretty much lived on fast food junk, so when I saw how many calories I was eating that way I thought I'd never be able to stay under 1400. I never thought I'd have the opposite problem. This has gone on for 3-4 days, with different food combinations. I really want to be successful here. I've lost about 6 lbs this first week, which I'm sure is just mostly water, and I'm in it for the long haul....I don't want to do any type of crash high speed diet. Please help.
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
    delete them, and move on. it too drives me crazy- all the threads too about 1200 cals etc....


    MFP set me at only 1330 if I don't exercise. People have different activity levels. Like me, I am typically sitting in front of a computer all day so I am not burning as much calories as say a policeman would...lol. If I exercise, sometimes I will eat them back if I am legit hungry. Everyone is different and burns and loses in different ways.
  • misssiri
    misssiri Posts: 335 Member
    Your metabolism is already slow or your wouldn't be full at 1000 calories per day. Eat more. My oatmeal is 150 calories and I put a tablespoon of peanut butter in it. Don't eat low fat anything, eat some avocados, more nuts, oil, fattier foods that are higher in calories. Fat is good for you and so are calories.
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
    Hi everyone, I'm new to all of this calorie counting stuff but I'm having a bit of a problem. Actually an opposite problem from what I thought I'd have. I log everything that goes into my mouth, and MFP gave me a goal intake of 1400 per day. As dumb as this sounds, I'm having a really hard time meeting this goal. I come in around 1000 per day, and often find days that I go drink a glass of milk or eat something when I really am not hungry just to be over 1200. I read somewhere that under 1200 was not good. I feel like I eat a lot. For example, today I had one packet of 100 cal oatmeal for breakfast and 2 Tbsp of half and half in my coffee, a banana a couple hours later. Then a frozen lean cuisine for lunch. Then a fiber one bar. For dinner I had baked potatoes, 4 oz of roast beef, and carrots. This all came in at about 998 for the whole day. I ate a pb&j 2 hours after dinner just to make it to 1400. I don't want to be eating when I'm not hungry, but I also don't want to eat too few calories that my metabolism slows. Any suggestions on what I need to change or what to do? Or is it even a big deal?

    Prior to this eating change I have made we pretty much lived on fast food junk, so when I saw how many calories I was eating that way I thought I'd never be able to stay under 1400. I never thought I'd have the opposite problem. This has gone on for 3-4 days, with different food combinations. I really want to be successful here. I've lost about 6 lbs this first week, which I'm sure is just mostly water, and I'm in it for the long haul....I don't want to do any type of crash high speed diet. Please help.

    If you feel okay, are drinking your water and seriously aren't hungry I don't think forcing yourself to eat is good. If you could go for a snack or small meal, cheese is always great for me to get the cals up. You are just starting out so you just have to find your grove and see what works best for you. Keep it simple. When it gets all deep, people are more likely to fall off. Learn as you go.

    My motto is: If I have the extra cals and I am hungry, then I eat... if I am not hungry or don't have the cals, then I don't.
  • KaitDW
    KaitDW Posts: 21 Member
    I agree. Add some fat to your diet. Nuts, almond butter... and it doesn't look like youre getting that much protein. If necessary eat six smaller meals. Feel free to add me if you want to chat more. :)
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
    I delete them. Like you I can't stand to see that, so I give them a few days to do better, tell them why they can't continue that way, and then if they continue to starve themselves... DELETE. If they won't listen, I'm not going to help enable their eating disorder.
  • tcj83704
    tcj83704 Posts: 8
    I agree, my metabolism is way out of whack, I can just feel it. I am exhausted all the time and have tons of issues! Which is part of why I started this in the first place. I could try adding some good fats. I have been eating low fat everything. I probably do need more good fats. I don't think I get any of those at all.
    Your metabolism is already slow or your wouldn't be full at 1000 calories per day. Eat more. My oatmeal is 150 calories and I put a tablespoon of peanut butter in it. Don't eat low fat anything, eat some avocados, more nuts, oil, fattier foods that are higher in calories. Fat is good for you and so are calories.
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    Many people don't look at someone's food before commenting. I always do. I'll never give a "great job" to someone who is too low. If I see it happen consistently, I'll ask them about it. Usually, I get a snarky answer, so I delete. I'm only trying to help.

    I had spinal surgery last December & unfortunately have severe pain. On really bad days, I have to take narcotics. They make me nauseous & that's why I sometimes have a 300 or 400 calorie day. It sucks, because I'm hungry, but I throw up. It is interesting to see people tell me that I had a great day when I'm that low.
  • misssiri
    misssiri Posts: 335 Member
    delete them, and move on. it too drives me crazy- all the threads too about 1200 cals etc....


    MFP set me at only 1330 if I don't exercise. People have different activity levels. Like me, I am typically sitting in front of a computer all day so I am not burning as much calories as say a policeman would...lol. If I exercise, sometimes I will eat them back if I am legit hungry. Everyone is different and burns and loses in different ways.

    Still too low. I burn 2000 calories per my body media fit sitting at my computer all day and no exercise. The lowest I would go if I were trying to cut would be 1700 per day. Eat your exercise calories. Eat the food.
  • droneofvelvet
    droneofvelvet Posts: 290 Member
    Whatever the case, gossiping about it on here doesn't help you or them.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    I made a post the other day on my feed about this very thing. I'm seeing a lot of people doing this lately and I'm getting friend requests from THEIR friends and it saddens me. The ones on my page that are doing it consistently (and aren't under doctor's supervision) are netting somewhere between a negative number and 500 cals per day EVERY day. It is a trigger, and at the same time my 'help everyone' instinct keeps me from just taking them off my page entirely. I told one girl who berated me about it to just remove me if she didn't like it (she did) and I'm ready to say the same to others that get on me about it too.
  • It might be helpful to them if you offer suggestions or studies that show that eating a higher calorie diet is more effective. Many people still believe the old way of thinking, so it is our responsibility to make sure they are educated with the new research. But, if they continue to eat super low calorie diets, then it is always acceptable to delete them if you feel they are not supporting you. I know that I will write "great job" without actually looking at the diary, and this could be what those people who are commenting are doing. I do agree with you that a super low calorie diet shouldn't be praised; on the other hand, we shouldn't condemn them either. :wink:
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    Yeah- that IS disordered eating.

    I don't keep MFP pals with those behaviors (with former tendencies I find it's a trigger for me) unless they're in active recovery and looking for support for that aspect.

    This is exactly how I feel. I am always open to being supportive of people who are on a path of recovery, and I understand it's difficult to achieve that, but I find it very hard to see people who don't believe they have disordered eating when under eating drastically. It can be triggering for me, as well. I tend not to keep people who aren't trying to be healthier. It's sad, but I also don't want to be uncomfortable and I want friends whom I feel I can genuinely encourage on their fitness journey.
  • runfreddyrun
    runfreddyrun Posts: 137 Member
    I agree, my metabolism is way out of whack, I can just feel it. I am exhausted all the time and have tons of issues! Which is part of why I started this in the first place. I could try adding some good fats. I have been eating low fat everything. I probably do need more good fats. I don't think I get any of those at all.
    Your metabolism is already slow or your wouldn't be full at 1000 calories per day. Eat more. My oatmeal is 150 calories and I put a tablespoon of peanut butter in it. Don't eat low fat anything, eat some avocados, more nuts, oil, fattier foods that are higher in calories. Fat is good for you and so are calories.

    if you're having trouble hitting your calories then don't eat low fat anything. low fat food is just a fad the food industry latched onto. it's better (and tastes better) to eat full fat foods.

    also, if you're not getting enough protein then try drinking a protein shake once a day and use 2% or almond milk. that will add a few hundred calories right there.
  • I am one of those people who are adhering to a very low calorie diet. Between 500 and 800 per day generally. I would not say that I am starving myself. I am rarely hungry, I generally hit all my nutritional goals and I have never felt better. I have a total of 70 pounds to loose, I am nearly half way there. I have tried every diet under the sun and nothing has worked up until now. I have not really adjusted the amount of food, just making different choices, like ground chicken breast rather than ground beef - shrimp instead of salmon. I still have avocado and cheese - just smaller, planned portions. I also have a glass of wine a few nights a week and last night I had two squares of this amazing dark chocolate. I exercise daily, though with moderate effort and I have a desk job so not a lot of activity during the day.

    I guess I wanted to respond to this comment thread because the blanket statements are unfair. For me, a 1200 calorie diet does not make my weight budge - at this point - it is a maintenance level. The lower calorie diet is working to shed the pounds, which in turn is making it easier for me to exercise. This works for me - what you are doing works for you - that is awesome.
  • baptiste565
    baptiste565 Posts: 590 Member
    live and let live. if u dont like them. delete them.