Abusive relationship?

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missimperfect
missimperfect Posts: 66 Member
in Chit-Chat
Anyone here gone though one? I'm really struggling to just...wrap my mind around this. We've been off and on for four years and I'm pretty sure that we are not getting back together after this but I can't stop hurting over him..
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Replies

  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I have not, but I have watched many women go through it.

    Get out now, while you can...before it's too late..
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
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    Do whatever you can to get out now.

    I left my exhusband (alcoholic and he hit one once) that one time was all I needed.

    Best thing I ever did.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    Don't be "pretty sure" it's over, know it's over. You'll be a happier person for it.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Love should never make you question your worth to the other person. If you fear them in any way, or have to post a topic on a forum about how you wanna leave but can't, it's past time to go
  • marciebrian
    marciebrian Posts: 853 Member
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    if anyone touches you inappropriately to hurt you, its abuse and you should be calling the police. emotional abuse is just as bad just not as east to detect if someone hurts you kick his sorry loser *kitten* to the curb and never look back.. now I'm pissed!
  • dawn_eichert
    dawn_eichert Posts: 487 Member
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    Move on for you!!!! You deserve more than someone who is more than happy to beat you down (physically, emotionally, verbally, etc...). Getting out of these situations is not easy but it can be done. Find your own support system and you can start here.
    Feel free to add me and good luck
  • AmandaJCole13
    AmandaJCole13 Posts: 60
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    Been there.
    Add me as a friend and send me a message if you'd like.
    :)
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    I have lived through every kind of abuse. And I have a tough love attitude about it. It's up to each individual to DECIDE to not tolerate abuse and to not raise their kids in an abusive environment. That's how the cycle ends.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Love should never make you question your worth to the other person. If you fear them in any way, or have to post a topic on a forum about how you wanna leave but can't, it's past time to go

    QFT
  • LaLaAlways
    LaLaAlways Posts: 50 Member
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    time will heal you and you will be better and stronger for it. You deserve more than that. I always reminded myself it will hurt for a little while but Im not dragging on the hurt by staying. once a realtionship of any kind goes to that there is nothing left.
  • DorisInTheDena
    DorisInTheDena Posts: 152 Member
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    Anyone that describes their relationship as "off and on" pretty much knows the deal. :frown:
  • DavidC1857
    DavidC1857 Posts: 149 Member
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    Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I haven't talked to or seen her in about 10 years.

    Make the on and off relationship off. And decide you are 100% sure it is over. They don't change.

    You will be happier for it and it will stop hurting. It may not seem like it at the moment, but you will.
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
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    I was in an abusive relationship a couple of years ago. The reality is, that sometimes when you're in it, you don't realize the extent to which it tears you down and plants seeds of hate in your foundation. I didn't realize until after I ended the relationship and got involved with someone loving and kind just how bad it truly was. You may be hurting now, but you need to find strength within yourself to find something better.
  • M______
    M______ Posts: 288 Member
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    Yep, I've been in one. Looking back the best advice I can give is to go with your first judgement. Not the one that creeps up on you after you think 'leave.'
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Yes, I have. I dealt with years and years of verbal and emotional abuse and manipulation by my alcoholic ex. He had all sorts of excuses and was a master manipulator. I didn't "believe in" divorce, so I waited and tried to be the best wife I could. Then he became physically abusive. And still I waited while he went through counseling. Then he became physically and emotionally abusive in front of our kids. And I turned tail and ran. I left. I filed. Slowly but surely I healed and moved on. My only regret is that I didn't leave him SOONER.

    If you know it's abusive, leave. Cut it off. Don't leave any bridges unburned. Sure, you'll hurt, but that doesn't mean you're not doing the right thing. It hurts because you were injured. You have to heal, and you can't do that when the other person keeps opening the wounds.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    get rid of him move on get out of there............
  • mjculbertson4512
    mjculbertson4512 Posts: 157 Member
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    I'd like to suggest calling your local United Way. They can put you in touch with folks to talk to, housing if you need it and places to gain job skills. (don't know your situation) Also, if you need one, the local UW can put you in touch with local shelters for abused women.

    Go, get yourself safe. If you have little ones, get them out with you. Even if it is just with the clothes on your back.

    This may sound harsh on the one you are leaving, but you are worth way, way more!
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
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    Abusive relationships do not get better, so run and don't look back! Remember ... love should build you up not tear you down.
  • bacitracin
    bacitracin Posts: 921 Member
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    http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/13i4is/boyfriend_24m_and_i_26f_had_a_fight_that_turned/c745t89
  • EdwarddeVere
    EdwarddeVere Posts: 178
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    It will end only two ways...

    You will leave now and thank the stars that you did down the road...

    Or leave later and hold regret for not leaving sooner.

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