Dressing like her Old Self

Treadmillmom1st · May 2013

Hiya,

I wanted some feedback if I may.

I have been in my current job for nearly 12 months. There is a lady in my office who has been on a weight loss program before I started and had lost loads of weight. In the time I have been here she has evidently lost more.

I am quite a fashion conscious woman and believe everyone should endeavour to look their best.

My colleague dresses like her older larger self. She has a waist, hips, a pert bottom and strong thighs but she shrouds herself in over size tops, jeans that are too loose and open bottom skimming shirts.

Every time I want to shout how damn good she looks and it’s time to change her mind set and shop for a new wardrobe.

I fear I’d be greatly overstepping the mark?

chillmcgren · May 2013

Are you friends? You could just suggest having a Girl's Day of pampering and shopping to celebrate your hard work.

LJSmith1989 · May 2013

You should help her. She probably doesn't even know where to begin! She needs shopping advise.

Treadmillmom1st · May 2013

No, just colleagues who pass the pleasantries of the day

samgolod · May 2013

depends how you do it....someone said to me 'you know what you've got such a great figure now you should show it off'. That was really nice. My trainer was a bit more brutal she said 'you've got to get rid of the fat person's clothes or you'll just be tempted to fill it out again' (And then she said 'I forbid you to wear that jumper out of the house!') That wasn't quite so nice. But I took the hint and went shopping

Lifting_Knitter · May 2013

I replaced my clothes several times during my journey and it was expensive. she is probably waiting because of that fact. I don't blame her. And you said she has lost more which means she probably will keep going...so yeah, i think you would overstep. She will replace when it is time.

agggie550 · May 2013

The thing that you have to be careful of here is how does she see her self ... Everyone knows we rarely see ourselves the way others do. I still feel like i weigh 400lbs some days, i dont but some days i feel like that, so you have to be careful approaching this subject with her because she might not feel like she has lost as much weight as she has, or she is self conscious of it and wants to try to hide what she thinks is unpleasant, but I think you are right to breach the subject because people need to be aware of how wonderful they do look, and embrace themselves as they are and not what they think they are.

wmstormvet · May 2013

To me, it doesn't sound like you are friends, just co-workers. If that is the case, I would have to say it is really not your business. On the other hand, if you are friendly and speak often, I think you could say something. If you aren't very close though, I suggest something light, not critical. She could take it the wrong way. Also, keep in mind that some people just don't really care about current fashions and others might but can't afford new clothes. There may be a reason for her not having new stuff.

tpow1196 · May 2013

I struggle with this myself and recently had some co-workers call me out on it! I didn't get angry, I just really didn't "see" the new me. I'm so foucused on how much further I have to go that I forgot what I've already done.

My co-workers finally one by one started making comments like Hey, you don't fit in that anymore or Wow, aren't you excited to go shopping for new clothes. And finally one pulled up next to me in the parking lot one day and was like " you need to go shopping" lol.

Maybe find a comfortable way to compliment her and suggest she hit the shops. She will most likely appreciate you noticing if nothing else.

rahlpn · May 2013

I hear this a lot from my own co-workers. I'm a nurse and I have some scrubs from before that still don't fit me (too small) but all of my XL tops and pants are getting really baggy. I'm in between a L and XL right now, I tried on an L top this morning and still wasn't quite ready to wear it to work, lol. However you say it, say it in a nice way or with a flattering compliment, don't be like my co-workers and say "your pants are getting so loose you look like you have a load in the back."

mazdauk · May 2013

Maybe you could comment about one of those makeover shows - for example I watched "10 years younger" the other day and there was this lady (a Doctor in her early 50s) who had lost loads of weight but still kept to old, frumpy, too big clothes she bought in charity shops, because she didn't see herself as "thin" or "worth spending money on" - and remark how "someone" had lost loads of weight but it didn't show until she got a new wardrobe.

If she's still on her journey and has a lot more to lose, maybe a few nice belts to give a shape might be an idea - perhaps you could wear one and say why you're wearing it, to give a hint.

but I agree as a colleague you need to step wary.

tpow1196 · May 2013

I replaced my clothes several times during my journey and it was expensive. she is probably waiting because of that fact. I don't blame her. And you said she has lost more which means she probably will keep going...so yeah, i think you would overstep. She will replace when it is time.

I am loving Goodwill and some other thrift shops! Its a great place to get the "fat" clothes out of the house and find some of my newer size without breaking the bank. I love it and its fun.

dym123 · May 2013

I know I wore my oversized clothes longer than I should have, but I didn't want to spend a lot of money on new clothes if I was just going to lose more weight. If she is still in the losing phase, she may not want to buy clothes yet or she may not have the money or just could be uncomfortable with her new body. Say something innocuous like "Hey you look great, when you are going to stop hiding all your hard work?" or just strike up a conversation, people who've lost a lot of weight (like me) love talking about it.

cschiff · May 2013

definitely tell her. start with complimenting how great she looks and then suggest a girls day of shopping (like someone else mentioned). chances are she'll love the idea.

lobo_a_gogo · May 2013

I would still compliment her. "Damn, girl, you've lost so much weight! When are you gonna show it off a little bit?" That way she feels good that her loss is acknowledged (If you've avoided telling her because of the way she dresses she may think no one's noticed) and you're pointing out that she could be wearing more flattering clothing.

donna_glasgow · May 2013

I replaced my clothes several times during my journey and it was expensive. she is probably waiting because of that fact. I don't blame her. And you said she has lost more which means she probably will keep going...so yeah, i think you would overstep. She will replace when it is time.

^^^^^ this, I still wear my "fat" clothes as my journey is not finished and I dread buying a full new wardrobe only to get comfortable in my now size and not pushing for my ideal size ... she may just be waiting

lobo_a_gogo · May 2013

I would still compliment her. "Damn, girl, you've lost so much weight! When are you gonna show it off a little bit?" That way she feels good that her loss is acknowledged (If you've avoided telling her because of the way she dresses she may think no one's noticed) and you're pointing out that she could be wearing more flattering clothing.

... that is if you have a good enough rapport and an office environment where she wouldn't see that as sexual harrassment lol

askeates · May 2013

I would still compliment her. "Damn, girl, you've lost so much weight! When are you gonna show it off a little bit?" That way she feels good that her loss is acknowledged (If you've avoided telling her because of the way she dresses she may think no one's noticed) and you're pointing out that she could be wearing more flattering clothing.

^^ This... it is flattering and fun and may be just the kick she needs!

pinkraynedropjacki · May 2013

If someone told me what to wear, regardless of size.....:explode:

There could be a very good reason behind it. Perhaps she does not feel the need to be in fashion...not everyone is obsessed with the trends. Perhaps she does not feel the need to flaunt herself & prefers to keep it simple at work. Perhaps she dresses like that at work & different away from work....you are only co-workers so you would have no idea. Perhaps she has a different reason all together.

Either way...it's not your place or business to say so.

otterish · May 2013

I believe that unless non-public parts of a person are showing, it is never anyone else's business how they choose to dress. It is the same as offering unsolicited critique about food choices.

Reinventing_Me · May 2013

No, just colleagues who pass the pleasantries of the day

Chances are she may not "see" herself yet and hasn't even thought about updating her wardrobe. Tell her she looks great and dedication really shows. If you look at clothing online, perhaps show her something that you thnk would look great on her. Plant the seed.

damiannikodem · May 2013

No, just colleagues who pass the pleasantries of the day

Chances are she may not "see" herself yet and hasn't even thought about updating her wardrobe. Tell her she looks great and dedication really shows. If you look at clothing online, perhaps show her something that you thnk would look great on her. Plant the seed.

This isn't always the case, ive lost a crapton of weight and I still wear all of my fat guy clothes to work simply because years ago I got rid of all of my smaller sizes and I seriously cannot be bothered to go out and buy more.

missbp · May 2013

Hiya,

I wanted some feedback if I may.

I have been in my current job for nearly 12 months. There is a lady in my office who has been on a weight loss program before I started and had lost loads of weight. In the time I have been here she has evidently lost more.

I am quite a fashion conscious woman and believe everyone should endeavour to look their best.

My colleague dresses like her older larger self. She has a waist, hips, a pert bottom and strong thighs but she shrouds herself in over size tops, jeans that are too loose and open bottom skimming shirts.

Every time I want to shout how damn good she looks and it’s time to change her mind set and shop for a new wardrobe.

I fear I’d be greatly overstepping the mark?

Perhaps she is waiting to reach her goal size/weight, before investing in new clothing. While it may not be how you would do things, or me for that matter, I think you shouldn't say anything to her. Just compliment her on her outstanding commitment and let it go at that.

MB

jolt28 · May 2013

I replaced my clothes several times during my journey and it was expensive. she is probably waiting because of that fact. I don't blame her. And you said she has lost more which means she probably will keep going...so yeah, i think you would overstep. She will replace when it is time.

I agree - maybe she can't afford it and you would only embarrass her; no way should someone butt in!

NKF92879 · May 2013

Perhaps it's a financial issue. As I was losing weight, I found myself sometimes wearing things that were too big because I couldn't always afford to buy new.

Lyerin · May 2013

I would just tell my coworker, "hey, I just wanted to tell you that you really look great." She will get around to getting rid of the fat clothes in her own time.

SoDamnHungry · May 2013

You could tell her she has such a cute figure that she would look great in "X". It's not being too pushy but would let her know you think she looks great and could get away with wearing stylish things. It also hopefully wouldn't make her feel like she looks bad in what she currently has, in case she can't afford new clothes, or is perhaps waiting to finish losing before buying new things.

nygrl4evr · May 2013

Perhaps it's a financial issue. As I was losing weight, I found myself sometimes wearing things that were too big because I couldn't always afford to buy new.

This would be me. Even though I have lost a lot of weight I still continue to wear some of my bigger clothes because I just cannot afford any new clothes. I have a daughter in college, 4 pets, and an ex who pays child support when he feels like it. If anyone tried to tell me I needed to go shopping for new stuff I think I would be more embarrassed then anything else having to admit that I just didn't have the funds to. Just give her the compliments of how great she looks and leave the rest alone unless you are positive it isn't a financial issue holding her back from buying new clothes.

skinnyinnotime · May 2013

depends how you do it....someone said to me 'you know what you've got such a great figure now you should show it off'. That was really nice. My trainer was a bit more brutal she said 'you've got to get rid of the fat person's clothes or you'll just be tempted to fill it out again' (And then she said 'I forbid you to wear that jumper out of the house!') That wasn't quite so nice. But I took the hint and went shopping

Bahahahaa quite a contrast in advice given!

Alta2000 · May 2013

I replaced my clothes several times during my journey and it was expensive. she is probably waiting because of that fact. I don't blame her. And you said she has lost more which means she probably will keep going...so yeah, i think you would overstep. She will replace when it is time.

^^^^^ this, I still wear my "fat" clothes as my journey is not finished and I dread buying a full new wardrobe only to get comfortable in my now size and not pushing for my ideal size ... she may just be waiting

This! I have been "shopping" in my closet and wearing my old clothes that I had not thrown. I do not plan to buy anything now until I reach maintenance weight.

Koldnomore · May 2013

I am quite a fashion conscious woman and believe everyone should endeavour to look their best.

Have you considered that she is not interested in the 'latest fashions' maybe she is comfortable in her clothes? Maybe she feels that she IS looking good with all the weight she has lost? Perhaps she does not feel the need to show off for the people at work and chooses to dress more conservatively? Maybe she has had a hard financial bump and just can't afford to buy clothes?

I would refrain from commenting on her figure or anything else about her wardrobe until / unless you get to know her first. If you don't want to take the time to become a friend then really you shouldn't just offer advice. I lost close to 40 lbs before I even thought about buying new clothes because I just didn't want to be bothered. I don't have anyone at work to impress and as long as my clothing is clean and fits well enough that it wasn't falling off of me it's not high on my priority list. Random people commenting on my life/appearance just annoy me.

Dressing like her Old Self

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