Unsolicited advice at the gym - helpful or annoying?
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Okay, let me make sure I've got the Gym Rules straight:
*If I smile and talk to women at the gym I'm a creeper and they don't want that because they are there to work out, not socialize
*If I offer a woman advice I'm a goofball because I should just mind my business and I probably don't know what I'm talking about
*If I don't approach random women at my gym on a regular basis, I'm being rude and secretly hating that they are in my section
*If a woman smiles at me and I don't instantly sweep her into my arms and carry her back to my car for some loving I'm a jerk.
*If I mind my business and use the stations and equipment I need to workout, I am showing that I'm not willing to share with others.
That's what I've learned so far this week. Did I leave anything out?0 -
About 6 years ago, after I had my babies and rejoined the gym, and was trying out some new stuff with weights. I had taken my husband to the gym and he taught me some things one day. But, then I forgot some details about form. So, a man was friendly with me there and he did point out how my form was wrong. He was right, and I knew he was right (because I remembered that was how my husband had taught me). So, yeah, I find that helpful. A couple months in, he showed up to the gym drunk and hit on me (he was over 30 years older than me and he knew I was married with children), so that wasn't cool. But, in the end he was more embarrassed by the whole thing, than I was (later when he sobered up).
And another guy that was my neighbor invited me to do some lifting with him. At the time that was fine. I was obviously new and looking for ideas on what to do, so things like that were helpful to me. As long as a person isn't pushy and will take no for an answer, I don't really see a problem with it.
Another time a woman asked me if she could lift with me and that was great because she really knew what she was doing. I kind of wish that would happen again.0 -
Someone recently approached me even with my earbuds in and music going, I am not shy on here, but in real life I tend to be.
Anyway, i thought ut oh!
But he didnt correct me, he wanted to tell me how great my form was on my squats.
I will admit, I high fived myself.
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I'd say about 1 in 5 times I go to the gym I talk to somebody there about an exercise, things I prefer, stuff that has worked for me, and programming suggestions. Usually it's younger guys 20-25 or so that I've started talking to where I'll throw in unsolicited advice. I seldom just go up to someone and offer advice, but I have when I see egregious form from a noob.
About the most I've done for women is show them alternate exercises for things they've asked me about.0 -
Okay, let me make sure I've got the Gym Rules straight:
*If I smile and talk to women at the gym I'm a creeper and they don't want that because they are there to work out, not socialize
*If I offer a woman advice I'm a goofball because I should just mind my business and I probably don't know what I'm talking about
*If I don't approach random women at my gym on a regular basis, I'm being rude and secretly hating that they are in my section
*If a woman smiles at me and I don't instantly sweep her into my arms and carry her back to my car for some loving I'm a jerk.
*If I mind my business and use the stations and equipment I need to workout, I am showing that I'm not willing to share with others.
That's what I've learned so far this week. Did I leave anything out?
No... I think you've pretty much covered the Official MFP Gym Etiquette threads quite succinctly.0 -
Ive only been given "advice" once at the gym and it actually made me really annoyed with the guy. I was doing this pull up machine. It had this little leg rest and you could add weight to it so it would support some of your body weight and make the pullups easier. Well I had done this machine often. I knew what I was doing and coul actually do the reps I was doing on just the regular pullup bar, but since that was taken, I was using this. I noticed these two guys staring at me. It happens to a lot of the girls that go over to this side of my gym because it had freeweights and pullup bars and a lot of arms stuff and somehow always had only boys over there. So any girl that went over there often was stared at. But so these two were staring at me and im just enjoying my workout when one of them comes over and explains that if I put weight on the leg rest, it would be easier. I politely told him that I knew that but thanked him anyway. He then proceeded to change my weight for me even though i told him I was fine and insisted I do the pullups with the machine supporting most of my weight.
It really annoyed me! Maybe it shouldnt have but I would have understood if I was struggling, but I was doing my pull ups just fine without that! It just made me think that he thought I should be weaker than i was. Probably me over reacting, but it agrivated me. After he went back to his friend, I changed my weight back while he continued to stare. Never figured out why he thought i needed help but maybe he was just trying to be nice.
I would say it all depends on the approach.0 -
Okay, let me make sure I've got the Gym Rules straight:
*If I smile and talk to women at the gym I'm a creeper and they don't want that because they are there to work out, not socialize
*If I offer a woman advice I'm a goofball because I should just mind my business and I probably don't know what I'm talking about
*If I don't approach random women at my gym on a regular basis, I'm being rude and secretly hating that they are in my section
*If a woman smiles at me and I don't instantly sweep her into my arms and carry her back to my car for some loving I'm a jerk.
*If I mind my business and use the stations and equipment I need to workout, I am showing that I'm not willing to share with others.
That's what I've learned so far this week. Did I leave anything out?
I'm writing this down for future reference.0 -
It depends - since I am a guy it tends to come more often then not from others. Most are annoying as its "Do this to bulk up" or "You are doing it wrong". For the first I dont want to bulk up- I am a kravist (krav maga) and bulk = slow when fighting so I want strength to a point along with twitch muscles (its amazing to me how many power lifters ignore twitch). To the other I often notice their forms suck - I have an awesome trainer who is all about form versus just lifting heavy (I feel my muscles burn more with 20 pounds and correct form then 35 pounds and lousy form)
However, I have had a three people who would quietly come over and suggest this or that or tell me my form was off (and it was). These are the same people who would also quietly tell me that they remember me walking in at 305 punds and what a great transformation I have made and to keep it up.
I personally do not give advice since I am still learning and my way may not be good for their way0 -
Okay, let me make sure I've got the Gym Rules straight:
*If I smile and talk to women at the gym I'm a creeper and they don't want that because they are there to work out, not socialize
*If I offer a woman advice I'm a goofball because I should just mind my business and I probably don't know what I'm talking about
*If I don't approach random women at my gym on a regular basis, I'm being rude and secretly hating that they are in my section
*If a woman smiles at me and I don't instantly sweep her into my arms and carry her back to my car for some loving I'm a jerk.
*If I mind my business and use the stations and equipment I need to workout, I am showing that I'm not willing to share with others.
That's what I've learned so far this week. Did I leave anything out?
You nailed it!!
Okay now I need to go help Ashshell
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I wouldn't mind being approached by some of the very handsome guys who frequent the same gym as I do lol. But in all seriousness so long as the advice is courteous, helpful and constructive I wouldn't mind being approached by anyone at the gym.0
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oh so annoying. noone knows except me what my history, goals, feeling on the day in question, intention with the weight/equipment i've chosen or journey is. I don't care if you're a random or a fitness guru, if i haven't asked your advice, then shut it.
Even if it could prevent injury?
Seriously. What your goals or history are has no bearing on someone doing a lift with bad form or in an inefficient manner. I'm not the person who goes around telling everyone what to do, but if you are doing something really wrong, I'm probably going to point it out and try to help you fix it. That was a great part of the powerlifting scene. Someone would give you a little pointer that helped you out on your next attempt, or you might give a newer lifter some pointers on basic things that your own experience taught you.0 -
I have mixed feelings just like everyone else. If it is good, sure I'll take it. If it is bad, it is annoying. Just like anything in life.
Honestly, I tend to watch everyone else in the gym in order to learn or validate my form, so if I need help, I ask if I must. I don't really leave myself out there for the opportunity to be corrected. For example, if I'm not sure how far to bend over while doing an exercise, I just watch others throughout the week to see others doing it....I generally can get a sense of the correct form by majority rules. If I don't validate myself quickly enough, I have this line I use....I walk up to someone who I know is knowledgeable and I hand them a weight and say, "Do ____." That way without prejudicing their judgement or form, I just visually see how they do it.
I also watch the weights everyone uses. I compare my ability to theirs. It lets me know if I'm on par with the majority of people, if I'm SUPER BEASTING IT or if it might be useful to test out weights again. For example, I started doing calf raises on the leg press at 70 lbs or so....I thought that was a lot....it hurt. But after watching others and trying out the weights more, I moved up to 130 lbs. Sometimes it is really hard to get your set weight correct when starting a new routine. I tend to people watch.
During this time of watching (in mirrors while doing my own work out....I don't just stand around staring at people), I see lots of BADDD form. I'm not one to approach someone on their form UNLESS it is deadlifts. SOO many people have horrible deadlift form, and I'm surprised they are still walking upright.
I will also make it very clear that I'm watching someone if I DO happen to comment (and it has to be ridiculous form). I will stand beside them watching them, so they make eye contact with me, and I say something like, "I noticed _____...." which leads to the person asking how to do it correctly or if they were doing it wrong....this way I am invited to correct them. Or if someone is clearly standing around looking at a piece of equipment, and you can tell in their head they are BEGGING for someone to ask if they can help. This happens often with the Jacob's Ladder.
IDK if my MO would work for some. I am well-known at my gym. So....it might be a little awkward for you to stand beside someone and stare while they are doing shoulder presses....:laugh:
Side note: I get stared at a lot, and it is super uncomfy, but the ones that stare typically do it VERY obviously....like stand behind me in the mirror, so I can CLEARLY see them....and they watch me. Like umm...I CAN SEE YOU FOOL. Maybe I should stop staring so much myself, but I think I do it very secretively....unlike most dudes at the gym--creeper style breathing down my neck behind me.0 -
Being a meathead in the gym has its advantages. No one bothers me. On the opposite end, I normally keep my mouth shut but there was a time when I saw two college girls (it was a college gym) trying tonuse the back extension machine. Instead if putting their legs under the pad, they were sitting on top of it. I asked my female friend over to correct them since I didn't want them thinking I was hitting on them.
I'm not even sure how this is possible. How do you do back extensions with your legs on top of the pads??!?!?!?0 -
It is women who have got men tangled up in this mental web that tick me off. Why in the world do they like to get so offended at every little thing. But yes, somehow this is the maze of "logic" that some do follow. It's kind of scary actually.Okay, let me make sure I've got the Gym Rules straight:
*If I smile and talk to women at the gym I'm a creeper and they don't want that because they are there to work out, not socialize
*If I offer a woman advice I'm a goofball because I should just mind my business and I probably don't know what I'm talking about
*If I don't approach random women at my gym on a regular basis, I'm being rude and secretly hating that they are in my section
*If a woman smiles at me and I don't instantly sweep her into my arms and carry her back to my car for some loving I'm a jerk.
*If I mind my business and use the stations and equipment I need to workout, I am showing that I'm not willing to share with others.
That's what I've learned so far this week. Did I leave anything out?0 -
It depends on the situation.. if I see someone about to injury themselves and it's blatantly obvious, I would hope the other party feels it's helpful for me to have helped them and perhaps give gentle advice.
I think someone who has been lifting for longer than a few months usually knows proper form, their strength/weaknesses.. not saying these people don't need advice or tips ever but I think it becomes annoying when someone tells you that you're doing it wrong cause you grip your barbell differently from them (e.g. mixed grip for deadlifts). I've seen trainers tell people the incorrect way to lift, do kettlebells so not everything is equal in life.0 -
Okay, let me make sure I've got the Gym Rules straight:
*If I smile and talk to women at the gym I'm a creeper and they don't want that because they are there to work out, not socialize
*If I offer a woman advice I'm a goofball because I should just mind my business and I probably don't know what I'm talking about
*If I don't approach random women at my gym on a regular basis, I'm being rude and secretly hating that they are in my section
*If a woman smiles at me and I don't instantly sweep her into my arms and carry her back to my car for some loving I'm a jerk.
*If I mind my business and use the stations and equipment I need to workout, I am showing that I'm not willing to share with others.
That's what I've learned so far this week. Did I leave anything out?
If you mind your business, complete your workout, and go home without offering help you're not being supportive.
That's my fav.0
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