I need a 4000-5000 calorie day

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Mutant13
Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi guys

I need to eat a bunch of calories because reasons.

However I have taken to vagrancy lately because I feel that it gives me more artistic depth, opportunity to learn different stabbing methods and insane people to induct into my regime. I'm enjoying the toilet meth and the action I'm getting, but finding calorie dense food can be hard. Can anyone suggest some ways I can reach my goal with good commonly found in dumpsters and soup kitchens?
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Replies

  • AmberLee2012
    AmberLee2012 Posts: 540
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    say-what-yo.jpg
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    If you live near an industrial meat processing plant, that would be a great place to start.
    I've been doing dumpster weight loss for 3 days now and I feel like its a great fit for me. I can't do the 4000-5000 calories a day, I hope to get their soon!
  • kennie2
    kennie2 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    replace 8 cups of water with 8 cups of oil
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    If like to note that is really welcome an opportunity to kill things, so stray animals are an option
  • robinrainville
    robinrainville Posts: 20 Member
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    Man I Wish I Had Time To Sit And Read All These Funny *kitten* Posts All Day...
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
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    Put those stabbing methods to work.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    Eat a whole jar of peanut butter, that would give you about 3,200 calories right there. If the pantry gives you jelly, that's about another 800, so you'd have your 4,000. Just take a spoon from McDonald's. I'm not for eating strays, unless it's opossum, since they're freaky looking anyway. Eating the druggies might not be a good idea, since, you know, they have drugs in them. Gotta keep it clean, sister!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    replace 8 cups of water with 8 cups of oil

    I don't drink water. It dilutes the alcohol too much and I don't like having feelings
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    NO.
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
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    Sometimes a girl just has to eat

    tumblr_ltidzrXwP31qldgav.gif
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Just drink 4000 calories worth of alcohol. Why would you want to dilute that delicious feeling with food? Stick to campus areas. You should be able to find plenty near the frats and sororities. Stock pile during rush week. And if you really need something more solid, just pop into the party for some jello shots and ramen noodles.

    ETA: Stay away from the cowboy parties. Those 1/2 full bottles of beer that they leave around may not actually be beer.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Just drink 4000 calories worth of alcohol. Why would you want to dilute that delicious feeling with food? Stick to campus areas. You should be able to find plenty near the frats and sororities. Stock pile during rush week. And if you really need something more solid, just pop into the party for some jello shots and ramen noodles.

    I like your thinking. However, I like to pretend to be a dinosaur when I eat, and that's something I can't replicate with drink alone
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    Eat several cans of SPAM
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
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    You could always try hanging out behind an Asian restaurant. You can eat all the leftovers, plus you can intercept the cats before they grab them. Not only are you doing a great service, but fresh cat meat!!
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Just drink 4000 calories worth of alcohol. Why would you want to dilute that delicious feeling with food? Stick to campus areas. You should be able to find plenty near the frats and sororities. Stock pile during rush week. And if you really need something more solid, just pop into the party for some jello shots and ramen noodles.

    I like your thinking. However, I like to pretend to be a dinosaur when I eat, and that's something I can't replicate with drink alone

    I can see your dilemma. What kind of dinosaur exactly? You can alternate creeping the frat trash with pawing through the campus cafeteria dumpsters. Dorm food isn't great, but you can roar at it and tear it up. Unless you're more of a vegetarian dinosaur, in which case, you'll want to hang out behing the Souper Salad next to the strip club.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    stray cats
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Resort to cannibalism. I believe people coked out of their heads in public toilets would be easy prey. All the proteins!

    Cannibalism has kind of lost its thrill for me, also I think I've become immune to "people calories"

    Are people slowing your metabolism? Just don't eat the parts with carbs.
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
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    I got some hard dense food for ya right here.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Just drink 4000 calories worth of alcohol. Why would you want to dilute that delicious feeling with food? Stick to campus areas. You should be able to find plenty near the frats and sororities. Stock pile during rush week. And if you really need something more solid, just pop into the party for some jello shots and ramen noodles.

    I like your thinking. However, I like to pretend to be a dinosaur when I eat, and that's something I can't replicate with drink alone

    I can see your dilemma. What kind of dinosaur exactly? You can alternate creeping the frat trash with pawing through the campus cafeteria dumpsters. Dorm food isn't great, but you can roar at it and tear it up. Unless you're more of a vegetarian dinosaur, in which case, you'll want to hang out behing the Souper Salad next to the strip club.

    I lean mostly in the direction of T-Rex because I like to pretend I have comically small arms. But if I've been on the downers I'm known to go for a bit of Pteraydon.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    I got some hard dense food for ya right here.

    I might be a homeless, toilet meth using sociopathic vagrant, but even I have standards
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