Dressing like her Old Self

katedevall · May 2013

It's her choice what she wants to wear. Maybe that's what she is comfortable in. Or perhaps she doesn't want to buy new clothes until she is done losing weight.

Maris_Swan · May 2013

I would approach her privately or just invite her to go shopping with you. I used to be a 28w and now I'm a 12 and I can say that sometimes it is still very hard to dress for my current size. She is probably feeling a lot of body image issues adjusting to the weight loss.

kmm7309 · May 2013

I believe that unless non-public parts of a person are showing, it is never anyone else's business how they choose to dress. It is the same as offering unsolicited critique about food choices.

I have to say I agree with this. My first reaction was to tell you, "yes! Tell her! She deserves to know!" but I don't think it's your place. I still have (and sometimes wear) my 2x's and 3x's, even though I'm a size 14. I usually do it when I know I will have a stressful day. It's a security blanket. Although I have (and wear) larges now, sometimes I feel better in a bigger size because I dressed so frumpy my whole life. It took me several months (and an unsuccessful shopping excursion in the plus size section because I was too small for everything) to realize that my security blanket should be form-fitting clothes.

tinak33 · May 2013

I am quite a fashion conscious woman and believe everyone should endeavour to look their best.

Have you considered that she is not interested in the 'latest fashions' maybe she is comfortable in her clothes? Maybe she feels that she IS looking good with all the weight she has lost? Perhaps she does not feel the need to show off for the people at work and chooses to dress more conservatively? Maybe she has had a hard financial bump and just can't afford to buy clothes?

I would refrain from commenting on her figure or anything else about her wardrobe until / unless you get to know her first. If you don't want to take the time to become a friend then really you shouldn't just offer advice. I lost close to 40 lbs before I even thought about buying new clothes because I just didn't want to be bothered. I don't have anyone at work to impress and as long as my clothing is clean and fits well enough that it wasn't falling off of me it's not high on my priority list. Random people commenting on my life/appearance just annoy me.

^^^This.
I have lost almost 50 lbs. Still haven't bought new clothes. I have other things I need to spend my money on and I don't care about fashion. I don't care that my clothes are baggy now. They are comfortable and aren't falling off me yet, so I will still wear them.
When they no longer fit and DO fall off me, then I will get new clothes.

Hellbent_Heidi · May 2013

She probably doesn't see herself as small as she is now. Do you think she'd be offended if you said "Wow, you look so good, you're probably going to need a whole new wardrobe now"??

I'd say tread carefully as not to offend, but be sure to compliment her and tell her how amazing you think she looks! In the workplace, people are often uncomfortable commenting on someone's body, but woman to woman, its a lot easier. She's very likely noticed your fasion consciousness, so coming from someone like you, she might find it even more flattering!

Goin4goal · May 2013

I would just pay her a huge compliment on how great she is looking and leave it at that. IF she wants fashion advise, maybe she'll say something to you. Otherwise I would leave it alone. I'm sure she knows what she's doing.

ruwise · May 2013

You could give a subtle hint like maybe if you are good at fashion advice tell her that with all the weight she has lost she now has the perfect body for x style. If she is thinner than you or has a slightly different body shape you could even say I wish I had your waist, legs etc so that I could wear this type of dress etc.

You'll probably be able to tell from saying this whether she is interested or not.

There could be lots of factor as to why she hasn't, money may be one but having no clue may be another. I've been overweight most of my life. I've always considered clothes shopping a horrid chore designed to depress and humiliate me. She could be the same and have hang up's about it or she may just not really care about fashion.

carmieg3 · May 2013

Perhaps it's a financial issue. As I was losing weight, I found myself sometimes wearing things that were too big because I couldn't always afford to buy new.

I am in this boat, all my work clothes are basically falling off me, luckily I kept some skinny clothes from my post-college years, but overall my work wardrobe is too big!! Right now I cant afford to buy new clothes, and I still have some weight to loose, so I am not buying a new wardrobe till I hit my goal weight

Way to expensive!!

themanda04 · May 2013

maybe you could organize a clothing swap at your work? depending on how many employees your company has and how many are women, sometimes it's a really cool way to clean out your closet and get some new-to-you things at the same time. could turn into a win/win for everyone!

PippaJo_ · May 2013

maybe you could organize a clothing swap at your work? depending on how many employees your company has and how many are women, sometimes it's a really cool way to clean out your closet and get some new-to-you things at the same time. could turn into a win/win for everyone!

This is a great idea, and I was going to suggest something along those lines. Like - you say you're in the same weight-loss program? Are you (or were you) anywhere close to her current size? Perhaps you can offer her some item from your closet, saying 'hey, I tried this on and it didn't really fit me, but I think it would look fabulous on you, would you like it?'

I can totally understand if she's waiting for financial reasons, or losing more weight. I'm in-between sizes right now, but there's no way I'm going to buy anything that won't fit at my goal weight, so belts it is! I'll just deal with looking frumpy until then, but I know that I'd feel hurt or depressed if someone pointed that out to me. (Especially if I really wanted new items, but simply couldn't afford them.)

However - a well-timed "Girl, you are lookin' *fantastic*, you've got some *shape*!" - and then letting. it. go. would probably be welcomed. Everyone likes a good, honest compliment. Whatever she does with that compliment after that is her business.

luckydays27 · May 2013

I would be embarrassed if the "office fashionista" commented about my wardrobe to me or others.

Think about it this way, if she put on a lot of weight but still wore the same clothes would you say anything to her?

She's not your friend, just someone you see in passing at work.You probably dont even think about her at any point of your day, except when you see her in person so why should you offer any advice to her about her clothing.

Jayne19099 · May 2013

Perhaps it's a financial issue. As I was losing weight, I found myself sometimes wearing things that were too big because I couldn't always afford to buy new.

^^^ This! I really agree! Don't make a comment if you are not sure she could actually afford new clothes! It will only make her feel worse.

alasin1derland · May 2013

I think it would be a mistake. She may have a loose belly that she is very self conscious of and tighter clothing accentuates it. It takes time for everything to fall into place. If she is already self conscious about something and you make her self conscious about her current comfort level, you could accidently ruin her whole outlook. Sometimes its better to just provide compliments and let people be happy with their current situation. The only reason I posted this, is because that is my situation. I look frumpy in my big clothes, but I feel like I look dumpy in the clothes that fit. I know I am more than half way to my goal and that will change as I get closer to my goal, so for now I wear my big clothes. When my floating tummy catches up with my new abs, I will be happy to slip into something smaller. I think its touching that you are enthusiastic with her success but if she is as shy and self conscious as I am, you may do more harm than good.

CM9178 · May 2013

I know I wore my oversized clothes longer than I should have, but I didn't want to spend a lot of money on new clothes if I was just going to lose more weight. If she is still in the losing phase, she may not want to buy clothes yet or she may not have the money or just could be uncomfortable with her new body. Say something innocuous like "Hey you look great, when you are going to stop hiding all your hard work?" or just strike up a conversation, people who've lost a lot of weight (like me) love talking about it.

I was going to say the same thing. I have avoided buying a new wardrobe because I don't have the money to continue buying new clothes every time I go down a size, so I continue to wear some things that are too big on me, for longer than I would like to. I buy new pants when I simply cannot wear the larger ones anymore. And I'll buy a new wardrobe when I've reached my goal.

I'm still wearing a bra that is too big because the bra I like is $60 and I can't afford to buy a whole bunch of new ones in the smaller size yet.
I'd say leave her alone.

yokurio · May 2013

after I lost all my weight I knew i needed to get new clothes, but i was used to baggy crappy clothes that weren't appealing. A coworker told me i needed to get new clothes, and honestly, i appreciated it and took it as positive criticism. Of course, i'm a dude and don't take things personally. I think you should tactfully bring up the topic and get her on track. You might make a really good friend if you approach her right. Something like, "I'm amazed by your weight-loss. The next step is getting you some hot clothes to compliment that beautiful body. How bout we go out for a shopping spree and get you some new stuff?"

btrav5 · May 2013

I had a girl at work reach out to me and I really appreciated it. I have lost 65 pounds over the last few years but have always been heavy. I was too self conscious to do it on my own. Sometimes people do need a little encouragement. You might be just what she needs.

yokurio · May 2013

bump

mazdauk · May 2013

maybe you could organize a clothing swap at your work? depending on how many employees your company has and how many are women, sometimes it's a really cool way to clean out your closet and get some new-to-you things at the same time. could turn into a win/win for everyone!

Just what I was going to suggest! We had one of these events at my old office - women are almost always putting on and losing weight one way or another, so loads of poeple had too big AND too small things to bring in. You had to bring in at least one garment to get a "buying" ticket, then you could pick from the rails. Anything left over when to a charity which provides women on low incomes/long-term unemployed with "business" clothes for interviews. So everyone gains!

lessofheather · May 2013

2 memories stand out for me from the last time I lost a significant amount of weight - I went from super fat to chubby (and I'm here to help me get from chubby to fit!):

1) Security guard at my office on a casual Friday - I was wearing my one pair of jeans, with the bottoms turned up, thinking that I was rocking the 'boyfriend' loose fit - his comment "Damn girl, your *kitten* don't fill them jeans no more!". No kidding - I spent most of the day pulling them up.
2) A friend of mine told me every time I wore a skirt that it was too big and not doing me any favours. One day she turned around and said "no kidding, it looks like you're wearing a bucket. Throw it away. Give it away. Get rid of it. I never want to see it again."
When I got home I used it to do some dusting to make sure I didn't just put it in the wardrobe and wear it again a week later.

It's hard sometimes to see the changes in yourself. I'm used to dressing to make sure my arms are covered, that nothing is too tight, that trousers are unlikely and jeans are out of the question (unless, like above, they were at least 2 sizes too big). Sometimes you can see the changes, but can't afford the wardrobe. And sometimes, when you know you're not done yet, you want to hold out until you hit your goal.

There's nothing wrong with telling her how healthy she's looking, and, seeing as you know it's intentional, worked-at weight loss, striking up a conversation about how she's managing it. The clothes subject could be worked into it - say you're looking forward to treating yourself to some new things in 5, 10, 15 pounds time.

Dressing like her Old Self

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