teen stressing about calories :l read

honey, i don't want to sound mean, because i am saying this with a lot of love and concern, but you do not belong here. you need to seek out a therapist that can actually *help* you with your calorie obsession. you are on an unhealthy path and being on an adult calorie counting site is not good for you. yes, it is an adult fitness site, but the majority of people are here to learn to control their eating. their goals (losing weight) are counterintuitive to yours (become less worried about what you consume).

the simple fact is that even if you put all the correct information in except your age (saying you are 18 when you are 14), the calories given to you by mpf for maintenance would be incorrect and insufficient for what your body needs (why is your diary set for 1200 calories if you are not trying to restrict your eating/lose weight?). you are still growing and developing your brain and gaining coordination and maturing as a female. you NEED food and quite a bit of it. a calorie should not be scary; a calorie is a unit of energy. teenagers burn up a lot of energy just existing. an active teenager needs between 2600 and 4000 calories.

when school starts back up, can you see your high school guidance counselor? before school starts can your mom/grandma take you to a dietician? can you afford a therapist (specifically one dealing with eating disorders and body dysmorphia)? if not, many public health nurses would be happy to work with you for free or cheap. is there anyone else that you can talk to about this fear/guilt you have of re-gaining weight/eating food?

you are reaching out for help and that is commendable; you recognize that this is an illogical problem. but myfitnesspal.com is still not the right place for you. there are age-appropriate and goal-appropriate places that will be able to help steer you away from the pressure you are placing on yourself. this website is designed to 'smack you in the face' with counting your calories. it is the exact opposite of the help you need.

hugs honey. i am saying prayers for you.
dawn

I went on a teen site and calculated in all my info and it said I should eat at least 2,400! That's a lot,but If that's my recommendation,I will.

About friendly's. Should I just order what I want with no worry? My Grandma says "every once in a while won't hurt". I always get a lame salad or fish and broccoli,and I eat that at home :l ugh

grandma's pretty smart. 'every once in a while won't hurt' is great advice! apple pie? absolutely. lasagna? absolutely. creamy casserole dish with the yummy noodles? absolutely. french fries? absolutely. not all together. not every meal. not every day. health is important to recognize as a teenager, but calorie obsession is not. balance is key. is your grandma at a healthy weight that you can look up to and emulate? is it hard to accept her advice because she does not practice what she preaches? are you afraid that if you eat something that you enjoy, you are going to over-indulge and binge?

i can't really tell you what to eat; i know what would work for *me* and what *i* would enjoy. but this is about you enjoying food because you need it to live. at friendly's, you were considering a bowl of soup (broccoli cheese) with garlic bread or a ham and cheese melt with coleslaw. was that your first choice or your i'm-worried-about-calories choice? start small with what your taste buds enjoy. what do you *like* to eat? when you say 'lame salad or fish and broccoli', it makes me think that you eat it out of obligation rather than enjoyment. do you like burgers? chicken? do you like salad? it is okay to like salad. i like salad, but i am not going to eat a salad at a restaurant. one, because i can make it taste just as good at home and two, because i can make a serving of it (there is nothing worse than eating a wilted salad the following day) and three, because i can make it much cheaper. lol. but if you like to eat it, eat it. enjoy it!

it looked like there were a lot of 'fried' options on the menu. if there is something that appeals to you that is fried, get it. eat until you are full, then stop. eating crap one meal out of a week is not going to clog your arteries; it is nothing to feel guilt over. you can also chose to make an option healthier by asking for modifications (grilled instead of crispy, making a burger open-faced [only one half of the bun] or wrapped in a lettuce leaf 'bun', hold the butter/cheese/whatever, pick the greasiest thing there but swap out the fries for steamed veggies). i am sure that none of those suggestions are new to you. the hardest part of the evening is not going to be what you EAT, but how you FEEL about what you are eating.

it is important to eat healthy, but for me, eating healthy makes me feel good, not worried! i love cheese. i eat it at least once a day. the fat is good for my brain, the calcium is great for me, and i LOVE how it tastes. i don't feel upset about eating 'too much' cheese. it does not make me feel bad about myself. i try to balance it with lower fat items, but it never stresses me out or keeps me up at night thinking about how much cheese i ate. same with all my other food choices, even when i go thousands of calories over.

i am glad you went to a teen website to calculate a minimum number of calories that you should be eating. i have a feeling, though, that hitting that number (or being approximately close) is going to be extremely difficult for you. you really need to seek the help of a professional (of which i am clearly not).
dawn

Just try to eat a balanced diet, exercise several times a week, drink lots of water, and get plenty of sleep. If I go out to eat, I get what I want. I try not to eat out more than once a week and eat healthy the rest of the time. I lost weight while doing this. I really don't think a healthy 14 year old needs to worry about eating one or two bad meals a week. Honestly sweetie, I think you're far to young to be counting calories at all. You are still growing. The important thing is to get all your daily requirement of nutrients and to exercise to stay healthy.

As for your period, you are still VERY young. Your hormones are still in the process of leveling out, and your cycle may not be regular yet. But, it's something you should see a doctor about. We here really can't help you with that. Only a doctor can figure out what's wrong, give you the necessary meds, or do the necessary procedure.

When I was your age, I once bled for over a month and a half. Every day. Straight. All it took was some hormone pills to get everything balanced the way it should be. Then, when I was 16, I didn't get my period for 3 months. Same thing, nothing was wrong, my hormones were just a little off.

BUT, my friend (who is 24) just lost her period for 3 months, went to the doctor, and it turned out she had an under active thyroid.

You really need to go get checked out, and DON'T limit your calories. You're growing quickly, your body is changing, and what you may see as "fat" is just your body developing. All women need some body fat to have a period, and almost all women have some fat around their hips and belly that won't ever go away (and shouldn't). It's part of being female. True, some women are naturally very slender, but it's their body type and not the result of unhealthy eating habits and yes, eating "healthy" to an extreme is just as bad as over eating.

You really should go to the doctor. It seems like you have more than few things going on.