Embarrassed

kamakazeekim
kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
in Motivation and Support
I love to work out...any type of physical activity. I was going to the gym during my lunch breaks and it broke my heart...I'd end my workout in the shower crying and having to return to work all red eyed. The people at the gym are SO mean (many are coworkers.) Yes, I am fat. I know that I am fat. I don't need it pointed out. No, I don't eat like a pig or eat junk food all day. And even if I did choose to eat that 1/2 a doughnut with everyone else in the office this morning doesn't mean I'm not going to run 3 miles tonight when I get home. Oh but wait...it's completely ok that the 130 pound girl eat 3 doughnuts...

I hate being made to feel like I should hate myself or that I should be punished because I'm over weight. I feel like telling everyone to F*&% off.

Ok...rant over
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Replies

  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    Wait a second... Were people at the gym being mean, or people at work, or what? Are you crying because you aren't happy with yourself, or do people say hurtful things to you?
  • autumnrunning
    autumnrunning Posts: 103
    You shouldn't be ashamed, you should be proud that you like working out and have decided to do something to make your lifestyle healthier.

    F*** everyone who makes you feel embarrassed!

    Just keep you head high and do what you like.

    Long time ago I only went jogging in the dark, late at night because i was embarrassed of myself. Sigh... it'll get better/easier...
  • RobP1192
    RobP1192 Posts: 310 Member
    I wouldn't give anyone that power to ruin my day. People will always try, you just have to remind yourself that they have nothing to do with you. They don't pay your bills, why are you worried about what they say? Who are they to you? Be happy with who you are, and if you want to make a difference, you gotta put the work in. If you're content, then be happy. Never give anyone that power to dictate your feelings, your emotional state. Live stress free baby!
  • edack72
    edack72 Posts: 173 Member
    I would tell everyone to F*** off .......I feel very fortunate that I only get support from everyone at my gym and workplace..people suck
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
    I wouldn't give anyone that power to ruin my day. People will always try, you just have to remind yourself that they have nothing to do with you. They don't pay your bills, why are you worried about what they say? Who are they to you? Be happy with who you are, and if you want to make a difference, you gotta put the work in. If you're content, then be happy. Never give anyone that power to dictate your feelings, your emotional state. Live stress free baby!

    ^^ I love this. I'm so sorry you work with a**holes. Unfortunately, they show up everywhere. It's hard to avoid them completely. Adopt this guy's attitude & you'll be happier for it.
  • carolmcgov
    carolmcgov Posts: 175 Member
    *kitten* what they think. Do this for you! I get ridiculed at work because I am slim and I refuse cake and sweets when they are going around. I actually had a guy in work laugh in my face, the same guy eats a massive bag of crisps (chips if you're from the US) and a pastry every morning for breakfast and is overweight. I know it can be upsetting but **** them, you'll be the healthy one in years to come not them.
  • Alissakae
    Alissakae Posts: 317 Member
    Tell them to eff off. Seriously. You are doing what is best for YOU. It's a process, you aren't going be the 130 lb girl overnight and who cares? It's about taking care of YOU. I'm sorry you are around such jerks.
  • Alissakae
    Alissakae Posts: 317 Member
    I wouldn't give anyone that power to ruin my day. People will always try, you just have to remind yourself that they have nothing to do with you. They don't pay your bills, why are you worried about what they say? Who are they to you? Be happy with who you are, and if you want to make a difference, you gotta put the work in. If you're content, then be happy. Never give anyone that power to dictate your feelings, your emotional state. Live stress free baby!

    Awesome attitude.
  • Kristinam921
    Kristinam921 Posts: 66 Member
    Who cares what those people say. I've learned that people do that because they are unhappy with themselves. DO NOT CRY!!! At the end of the day you know what you do. If you are trying your damndest then **** everyone else. You are doing it for you and no one else. This is your time to pick yourself up and say **** IT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!! Don't give those people the privaledge of your tears they don't deserve them. You are giving them power. Your power is your power, not theirs!!! Come on girl say it with me "**** THEM!! THIS IS FOR ME AND NO ONE ELSE!!!"
  • mommy1126
    mommy1126 Posts: 146 Member
    When I first started going to the gym, while I felt comfortable there, when I got work my coworkers made a lot of rude comments. Everything I ate or drank, they commented. I let it hurt me for a while. Then, I decided I really did not care what they thought. One of them was about my size, and several were smaller. Fast forward a little bit, the one that was my size, is now bigger than me : ). And I run circles around the ones who were smaller than me in the gym every day!!!!! Hang in there! It gets better!
  • thecakelocker
    thecakelocker Posts: 407 Member
    What on earth is going on in your gym?
  • ohmscheeks
    ohmscheeks Posts: 840 Member
    I am not going to feed you that "words can not hurt you" bullcrap , because they freakin' can and do. But, screw those jerks and stick up for yourself. Bite back. Don't absorb their comments; deflect them.
  • ElaineRN100
    ElaineRN100 Posts: 201 Member
    Don't let those people live in your head rent free. Listen to music as you work out if possible, some uplifting, "shake your booty" music. Helps drown out those negative thoughts. Keep up the great work - your positive results as time goes by will shut them up. If not, then who cares.
  • marygee1951
    marygee1951 Posts: 148 Member
    You posted this in your profile......

    I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.

    Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.

    Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

    The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.

    *****************

    Listen to yourself. Believe in yourself.
    If you're not happy at that particular gym, either find another one - or find some other exercise activity.
    If you want to stay at the gym, try to connect with some of the staff or other members. Everyone there is not a jerk - make an effort to make a frriend that you can work-out with.

    You can't let others take control of you. If you do, you'll feel like a failure and end up giving up on your plans.
  • Mmmmona
    Mmmmona Posts: 328 Member
    You may be fat but you are losing weight. They are always going to be ignorant SOB's.
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    Jusr re-read this.

    If the people at your gym are mean, change gyms. Easy solution. Don't pay someplace to make you feel bad. Go somewhere else.

    Also - they are jerks, just tell yourself that while they may be slim, they are crappy people, and no one likes them anyways. It's what's inside that matters most.

    Now, if people are harassing you about your weight or what you are eating while you are at work, go to HR and file a complaint. That's illegal. That is discrimination and harrassment. That is hostile work environment. I guarantee once you go to HR, all that will stop. And don't feel bad about it, because that kind of behavior from a coworker is unacceptable, and they need to learn that one way or the other.
  • Salt_Sand_Sun
    Salt_Sand_Sun Posts: 415 Member
    Take 2 Fukitols and call me in the morning. :wink:

    Do not let these people control your emotions. You know what you are doing, you know you're working your *kitten* off, you know you eat well (with occassional treat) - do NOT let their small minded insensitive attitudes bring you down. Show them up. Go to the gym, run longer/harder, lift heavy things and put them down (repeat). Show them how strong you are and that their words are only that....words!! you are better than they are and they are jealous that you have such determination.

    Stay strong and focused....this is about YOU (not them)!!!! :drinker:
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
    Jusr re-read this.

    If the people at your gym are mean, change gyms. Easy solution. Don't pay someplace to make you feel bad. Go somewhere else.


    I wish I could go somewhere else. I live in a very rural area and I'm luck to be able to use the only gym within an hour's drive. I work on a reservation so I can use their gym.

    I've bought some DVDs to use at home but I have a really hard time figuring out how...I have to do it before the kids wake up in the morning or at night after they go to bed but we have a 2 bedroom house so if I'm in the living room trying to workout that'll wake them up. At least summer will be here soon I can I run on the 4 wheeler trail that's close to my house.
  • SUPERhecticMOM
    SUPERhecticMOM Posts: 61 Member
    I wouldn't give anyone that power to ruin my day. People will always try, you just have to remind yourself that they have nothing to do with you. They don't pay your bills, why are you worried about what they say? Who are they to you? Be happy with who you are, and if you want to make a difference, you gotta put the work in. If you're content, then be happy. Never give anyone that power to dictate your feelings, your emotional state. Live stress free baby!

    AGREED!!
  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    When someone makes a negative comment towards you, it's an issue they have with themselves!!! Ya know when a dog tilts their head & looks at you sideways like WTF?! Just give them that look, grin slightly, and move on with your day & your life. Send them light & love....little by little build up your self confidence....know that you are improving yourself...both inside & outside.....these people w/their comments & criticisms are ugly on the inside....move on and move on with your life gladly.....
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
    I am not going to feed you that "words can not hurt you" bullcrap , because they freakin' can and do. But, screw those jerks and stick up for yourself. Bite back. Don't absorb their comments; deflect them.

    I kinda agree with this..
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    Misery loves company. Just stick to what you are doing and ignore them, in time when you are all awesome looking they will be the ones embarrassed.
  • Melissa11412
    Melissa11412 Posts: 145 Member
    Wear some headphones and enjoy some feel-good, heart pumping music while you train. This way you can tune them out and it may help you to get and stay in the zone without having to listen to their nonsense. I have Rhapsody on my phone and currently have 200+ songs "saved" to my phone (so i don't need a data connection to play the songs). Even though Rhapsody is $8 or so a month I like that I have access to millions of songs and can swap out and "borrow" as much as I want for as long as I want (or until I stop paying the $8 haha)


    Glad to hear you're not giving up regardless
  • hungryhobbit1
    hungryhobbit1 Posts: 259 Member
    If this is someone you know, just look them straight in the eyes and say "Why would you say that to me?" And if they don't answer, keep at them, "Excuse me, I'm just trying to understand why you think that's acceptable. Don't ignore it, because if you ignore it they will keep at you until they get an emotional response. Unfortunately, bullies won't often stop until they are confronted.

    Also - if you are concerned about them complaining to the management, before you confront them go and get a staff member to serve as a witness.

    As others have said, if this is actually happening at work you should report it.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    If someone says something about what you are eating tell them to kindly mind their own business.
    If someone calls you fat just look them in the eye and tell them you are working on that.
    If someone makes fun of you just tell the you wills lose the weight, they will always be a b*tch.

    The more you stand up for yourself, the more they will back off.
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    You should feel proud for working out I know it is hard to ignor hurtful comments but you are doing something about your weight, I felt really awkward when I started going to the gym but I stuck with it and lost 112lbs,,, just stick with it
  • cherryd69
    cherryd69 Posts: 340
    Cant be doing with happy clappy responses.. So ill just say it as i see it.

    You are choosing to let them upset you, next time one of your co-workers say something, let them know exactly how your feeling at that very moment in time.
    Im not sayin go full bore an smack them in the teeth, im saying give them a mouthful, ask them how they think they are helping exactly!

    If its someone at the gym, id choose sarcasm (but im naturally a sarcastic person anyways)

    You cant let people walk all over you, i did that for many years, until it got to a point where i didnt say boo to anyone and i was scared of my own shadow... not anymore, if someone upsets me, they know full well that they have upset me...
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    I'm going to play devil's advocate here....

    How were people at the gym mean? In 14 years of going to the gym I've never seen anyone be mean to another person...once.
  • niuniuhuahua
    niuniuhuahua Posts: 6
    Be strong girl! You should feel really proud of yourself! You got all the people here who will support you!
  • lcvaughn520
    lcvaughn520 Posts: 219 Member
    Wow what a terrible thing to have happen at the gym!! I would definitely be hurt and embarrassed by that also.

    Remember this: there are more important things to be than thin. I know that's like blasphemy on this site ;) but wouldn't you rather be intelligent, kind, honest, etc. over being thin?? Next time someone insults your weight, just remember that, although it's hurtful, there are many worse things you could be than fat. (And I'm not saying that you ARE fat, just that, even if you were, it wouldn't be the end of the world).

    Keep going to the gym and hold your head high!

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