My gym buddies suck! [rant]

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  • LBNOakland
    LBNOakland Posts: 379 Member
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    I agree with others. I do have a personal trainer and he assigns homework! LOL AND checks it!! We work together 1 day a week. He has 2 other workouts written out for me 2 days a week. The other 2 days, I am expected to do HIIT cardio then 2 days of rest. I know what is expected of me. I pay for those expectations but you don't have to.

    Set a schedule and don't be diverted. I have a hubby and 4 children. At first, hubby would say, "well, I rented a movie so go tomorrow night." i would say, "Nope, tonight is weights. Tomorrow is cardi. if I do weights tomorrow, I can't do weights the next day. i got a schedule!" He now respects my schedule and knows my schedule. My kids will even go with me some days and do the assigned workouts.

    If I waited on buddies, I would find a million and 1 excuses. Buddies are welcome to join me. Here is my schedule. Wether you make it or not, that's where I will be!! BTW, as they see your progress, your buddies will probably be inspired and will make it more often!
  • rljohnsufl
    rljohnsufl Posts: 48
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    My swim buddy has cancelled probably 4 of the last 6 weeks (we swim once a week). Sometimes it's legit (she has health problems that flare up) but sometimes I don't confirm quickly enough and she makes other plans*. The problem is, I can't get into the pool without her b/c she's the member and I'm her free guest. Really, I'm thankful for the arrangement. She picks me up, takes me to swim for free, then takes me home.

    So I've been weight training at home when she cancels, but I need to just go to my nearby pool and cough up the $7 and deal with the crowds...I really enjoy swimming and it's good for me, but the logistics suck.

    *this seems to be a generational thing. If I (Gen X) have a standing workout date with you, you can assume I'll be there unless I tell you. My friend, though, (Gen Y) seems to decide the day of whether she wants to go, and will cancel if I don't quickly confirm on the day of. One day I didn't check my gmail for a few hours so she made other plans. :grumble:
  • Suzanuh
    Suzanuh Posts: 36 Member
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    My sister and I joined the gym at the same time. I was really pumped, but also realized that my schedule is so different from hers that we wouldn't likely be able to go at the same time every day. So I told her up front I didn't want to feel pressured into being her motivation. If I can't go to the gym one day I didn't want her to blame me for her not getting her butt there too.

    It's worked for both of us though. We go to the gym together a couple times a week, but the rest of the time I am on my own. But it doesn't matter to me because other than the car ride I'm not much company. Once I enter the gym I go into ME mode and I don't get out until I'm done with my workout.
  • cerexflikex
    cerexflikex Posts: 58
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    I don't have gym buddies. For me it's a nice time alone to just get my ipod on and go to it. I didn't know how much I'd like going to the gym, but it's been great for me.
  • missybct
    missybct Posts: 321 Member
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    I joined the gym about a month ago with a friend who was going through a similar, difficult time. He is fitter than me by far (and within a healthy weight range, he just wants to get fitter) but due to various mental issues, he couldn't attend all the time.

    Honestly? I prefer going by myself. Genuinely, I do. I love my friend to death, but I like just being able to stick my headphones in and get on with it - I find that I get distracted if I go with someone else (I tried to get my brother to come and he flaked out on me after half an hour, I was relieved!) because a) my workouts differ as I need to lose a large amount of weight and b) they tend to bumble around or want to leave earlier than me - I have a routine which I like to stick to and I hate being rushed.

    Just keep going - you'll make friends there; I've started chatting to the PT's and regulars, and it's really good to know there are people who want the same goals as you.
  • librarianjenne
    librarianjenne Posts: 66 Member
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    I don't have gym buddies. It just doesn't work out for me. I'm an introvert, though, so it works for me to work out alone. I work harder.
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    meh it doesn't bother me if no one comes with me, I'll go by myself :3 it's their problem, not mine.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
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    I only go with gym with "buddies" on my off days... I only have one friend that I can actually work out, but that's because he's worked out a lot longer than me.
  • vstraughan
    vstraughan Posts: 163 Member
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    Crikey! I really support the comment about looking for your motivation in others will mean a very long journey for you. On the other hand you sound very persistent and like you're instilling discipline in yourself ... so GOOD FOR YOU! :-)

    I can't be much help otherwise as I would hate to go the gym with my friends ... I consider the gym my time to focus on me and my thoughts and listen to some banging tunes for 90 mins. It's definitely my daily selfish time. I have the rest of the day to contend with other people, compromise, blah blah bleurgh
  • DonttrythatwithME
    DonttrythatwithME Posts: 214 Member
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    get you business done without these people dragging you down... I'm a selfish trainer I just want to get things done. I have enough trouble at time convincing myself to drag my *kitten* out of bed nevermind trying to drag someone elses too :P.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    A good friend of mine, my roommate, and I decided for various reasons we want to get into shape - I think I'm the only one taking this seriously though.

    My roommate is being a complete flake - he has not once gone to the gym with me and I ask him about 4 times a week. He agreed last night to go this morning, but he's is dead asleep still. I did manage to get him to go swimming with me yesterday though, but I think his motivation was to get a tan.

    My other friend lives about a mile from me. We are both similar starting weight, same general level of fitness and when she does go she is pretty good motivation for me to do what I'm supposed to. We had agreed to go 5-6 times a week. She has cancelled 4 times this week, 3 times last week and so on. She always has reasons like sore hips, nausea, shark-week, whatever. I understand not wanting to do things when you feel crappy, but that's exactly when you should do them! I feel like the only valid excuses are fluids projecting out of your body, broken bones or genuine crisis.

    On the bright side, my friends inconsistency has helped my resolve. I am forced to go by myself and be my own motivation. I even find that I push myself a little harder when they are not around as an extra F--- Y-- to get results faster than they are.

    What motivates you when the people in your life let you down?



    This is why I don't do gym buddies anymore too. Every single person who has ever wanted to "get in shape" with me has flaked out. And even worse, they've tried to drag me down with them when they drop out.
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
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    I had a gym buddy once and she did the same to me, so I started to go alone. Now I have my bf to worry about because he's kinda laizy. He complains a lot and keeps telling me that we'll start tomorrow, but I am always starting today hoping to give a good example. So far it hasn't worked out too great, but in his case I'll give him more chances until I start doing my thing alone.
  • FaerieCae
    FaerieCae Posts: 437 Member
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    Its great you're finding ways to motivate yourself and not just throwing in the towel! Well done!

    Like vstraughan workout time is MY time, to focus, to push harder, to see what im capable of, and yes IMO, imaginary trainer does work! Its also the only time of day I can turn off my brain and am not bombarded with inconsequential thoughts because I am focusing on my body and what im telling it to do.

    it doesnt matter where im working out, but I would find it way harder to do if I was working out with one of my bffs at the gym, even tho shes into it as much as I am, we would distract each other and probably be laughing our butts off at each other.

    In other words, keep it up, rely on yourself, enjoy your time to rock that body! :drinker:
  • jamesrmgibson
    jamesrmgibson Posts: 17 Member
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    I tried getting the girlfriend to come with me when I tried losing weight a couple of years ago but she really didn't enjoy it and so stopped going, so I then went a lot less often. We carried on playing badminton together but that eventually died off too. It got to the point where, on a good week, I went to the gym once a week and played football (Americans read: soccer) with guys from work at the weekend and she would do netball twice a week and that would be it. I would then complain that I wasn't losing anything etc.

    But now, I do it all on my own. I go kickboxing, swimming, gym, cycling and football, all at least once a week and, if somebody wants to join me, fine, otherwise I'm quite happy to go on my own.

    My target weight is my motivation now. I don't what changed in me that meant I no longer needed somebody to make me go or why my attitude changed, it just did.
  • mperrott2205
    mperrott2205 Posts: 737 Member
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    My girl friend and I both agreed at the same time to start getting into shape, however I'm the only one putting maximum effort into it. She will make any excuse not to go to the gym and when she does go, she does minimum effort. She says she doesn't want to feel "uncomfortable" when going to the gym and when I tell her that sort of attitude won't make you lose weight she says I'm unsupportive.

    But then, she moans at me that she hasn't lost any inches and she hasn't lost any weight and she "Just doesn't know why".

    I've already lost a stone from going to the gym 6 times a week and eating no more than 1700 calories. I've told her to try and do the same but because I'm not a personal trainer she won't listen to me or take my advice seriously. So now I've given up trying to convince her, and any time she moans about her weight I tell her to shut up lol.

    I find motivation in myself. In the fact that I am unhappy with my level of fitness and my body. In the fact that I desperately want a new me.
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,207 Member
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    That is why I dropped the whole "gym buddies" approach. I could never get to actually follow through, which often led to me not doing anything either. Even today I'd be in the same boat, except that I just do everything myself.
  • SimplyDenyse
    SimplyDenyse Posts: 124 Member
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    I feel your pain. Ive been thinking the past few weeks I need to find some like minded friends that have the same goals/mind set that I do. At work Im one of the few that works out during lunch. They actually make comments about me doing it. Also I want to try some of the fun 5ks I see people doing color run and electric run (mostly just to experience it, it looks so neat) and no one is interested. I seriously think I might just attempt it alone.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    I'm lucky that my Zumba girls will totally bug me if I'm not in class. LOL However, when I'm doing stuff on my own, I listen to Jillian Michaels' podcast - I find it really entertaining and motivating.

    It sucks that your friends are bagging out on you, but honestly, you need to just let them go and do your own thing. You can be your best motivator.
  • vstraughan
    vstraughan Posts: 163 Member
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    ..................when I'm doing stuff on my own, I listen to Jillian Michaels' podcast - I find it really entertaining and motivating ................


    I did not know she had a podcast. I'll be checking that out ... thanks for the heads up! ;-)
  • estrange22
    estrange22 Posts: 210 Member
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    I have learned to love working out alone! I tried several times to work out with my best girlfriend but she doesn't seem to go her hardest when we work out together and we don't get much accomplished! Not to down on her though because I know in a larger group session with an actual trainer, she kills it!

    What really motivates me is going to the same gym every day and seeing how all the people I 'know" there progress. I also like when my husband goes and does his workouts with his friends but sees how hard I'm working, it makes me work harder. Put simply, after you have done it alone for awhile, you will probably prefer to work out alone ! It has turned out to be the best "me time" I could ever ask for!

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