Losing weight can be depressing

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  • Annerk1
    Annerk1 Posts: 372 Member
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    Yes I am going to the gym. I do the Elliptical, Spin cycle, I do classes, and weights. Plus I do Squats, push-up, ect. I don't do them all at the same time. I choose 2 or 3 that I do, and switch them up so my body doesn't get use to them too quickly. I have my account on here to help me watch what I eat! I just started Slim-fast too!

    ditch the slimfast, you need to learn how to eat healthy balanced meals, not just replace food with shakes... unless you want to eat liek that for the rest of your life?!

    stop thinking fast results, start thinking healthy lifestyle, good role model for your daughter!

    I agree with this. I do carry a Slim-fast bar with me for days like one day last week. I started my work day at 7:00 am and didn't get back home until after 7:00 pm. I had breakfast before I left and Subway for lunch, but by the time 5:00 pm rolled around, I was really fading from hunger. The Slim-fast bar was something I could eat while driving (I was in the car or in customer's offices all day) and it kept me from making a bad choice like fast food or a junk food run at 7-11 until I could get home for dinner. It's an "emergency" stop-gap as opposed to a regular meal replacement.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
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    Did you have a difficult pregnancy medically, or did your b/f just find it difficult because you wree a different shape and he had to share "his" body? Was he traumatised byt you going through the c-section - the pain, the risk etc. - or was the problem that you are now "not perfect?" Think about the answers to these and decide how much of the concern is for you and how much is for him and his lifestyle.

    I agree ditch the slimfast - eating "real" food will teach you more about nutrition than a bunch of chemicals in a glass. Track your calories AND exercise on here - buy a culinary scale to measure your portions (especially things like pasta - when you weigh it uncooked it looks tiny! but 75g is ample).

    Set your goals to 1lb a month and the weight will come off steadily, and your loss will be sustainable - as long as you stick to your calorie levels for MOST of the time - we all have "naughty" days now and again, but it won't stop the weight loss overall.

    And finally - I never believed it at school so apologies to all PE teachers everywhere! - the more exercise you do, the more energy you will have andthe more you will want to do. But do find the exercise YOU enjoy - don't shut yourself up in the gym if you prefer a walk or run in the fresh air, don't do lots of weights if you'd prefer a dance class. Its your body, your choice.

    Feel free to friend if I can be of support!
  • CalypsoNi
    CalypsoNi Posts: 44
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    I know exactly how you feel, i'm the exact same way. I get very discouraged when I don't see some sort of results. Eventually though, we just have to do what's right and what's best, and stick to it! Persistence does pay off, and just think of all the energy you'll have to play with your daughter!
    Gyms are pretty boring unless you're doing classes or, shameful to say, they have a movie room where you can work on a tread or bike and watch the movie. It's much easier since you're not thinking about what you're doing and getting bored with it.
    I have no doubt you can do it. =)
  • Eggwhitecrazy
    Eggwhitecrazy Posts: 5
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    Wow, I'd never thought about all the unseen changes. You can sometimes get so caught up on the physical exterior you forget about all the good things happening inside. Thanks DewDrops
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    Be there for your baby girl as long as possible. Teach her the meaning of being healthy and looking after your body. Be a good role model. It won't happen overnight just as you didn't gain the weight overnight. It will be so worth it for not just you but her also.
    You can do it. Get your mindset right and there will be no stopping you.

    Good luck.:smile:
  • boberrymom
    boberrymom Posts: 362 Member
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    Be there for your baby girl as long as possible. Teach her the meaning of being healthy and looking after your body. Be a good role model. It won't happen overnight just as you didn't gain the weight overnight. It will be so worth it for not just you but her also.
    You can do it. Get your mindset right and there will be no stopping you.

    Good luck.:smile:

    With this said, show your little girl that you are a strong woman and can do anything! Show her that you are doing it for YOU and not some guy who lives in a different state! Your little girl is young now but she will grow up seeing all of this and think that is the way men are supposed to treat their loved ones.....no no, it isn't that way at all. You CAN do this but you have to WANT to for you. No shake or meal replacement will help you lose weight healthily, nor will you keep it off once you stop the shakes.....believe me i know this one first hand. Learn how to eat properly, plan ahead and cook at home. Buy only fresh ingredients or ingredients that have nothing in them. If you really truly want to do it, you will do it.
    But do it in a healthy way, and the weight will come off steadily and will stay off because you've adapted your life in a healthy way, not a quick fix. Take it day by day or hour by hour and think ahead. Youd be surprised what you can do. I wish you luck on your weight loss journey you can and will do it if you really truly want to....don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't.
    But promise YOURSELF that you will arm yourself with as much information as possible and do it in a HEALTHY way.

    **hugs**
  • beautifulmama11
    beautifulmama11 Posts: 13
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    He supports me from a distance. He lives in a different state. But he bought my gym membership because its what I wanted. And he bought me an Ipod for apps and music. And told me if there is anything I need to get my goal accomplished to let him know. But i am basically alone on this. Besides my family!

    Buying you things isn't support. Support would be telling you that he knows you are trying hard. He is passive-aggressive in one sentence buying you a gym membership and in the next saying he won't marry you because you are too fat. Step back and really look at the situation. Make a list of the pro's and con's of your relationship--and do not use the word "love" on that list. It might be eye-opening.

    He does encourage me too. We talk on the phone and he tells me how proud he is. And texts me all the time, with things too. And has is own special ways of helping me. But he didn't say that he wouldn't marry me cause im overweight. He knows how long i have been wanting to marry him. So he used it as a leverage for me to lose weight. He said " he would buy the dress, Anyone I want, But he gets to pick the size. He told me I would look great in a 14 or 16. So it's not like he wants me at a 8 or anything like that. And he wants me to be healthy, Hes a nurse and it killed him watching me be 254 pregnant with our daughter. It was not healthy and I totally agree. But he doesn't always have an openmind. And he's never been overweight. So sometimes I need help from other people that are or have been in the same boat.
  • Annerk1
    Annerk1 Posts: 372 Member
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    He does encourage me too. We talk on the phone and he tells me how proud he is. And texts me all the time, with things too. And has is own special ways of helping me. But he didn't say that he wouldn't marry me cause im overweight. He knows how long i have been wanting to marry him. So he used it as a leverage for me to lose weight. He said " he would buy the dress, Anyone I want, But he gets to pick the size. He told me I would look great in a 14 or 16. So it's not like he wants me at a 8 or anything like that. And he wants me to be healthy, Hes a nurse and it killed him watching me be 254 pregnant with our daughter. It was not healthy and I totally agree. But he doesn't always have an openmind. And he's never been overweight. So sometimes I need help from other people that are or have been in the same boat.

    This is not the man you want to spend your life with,. he's passive aggressive which will not be healthy for you or your child.

    You need to do this for you, and only for you. Forget what he wants. It's not about him. At all. it's about you. And don't buy into his BS of he'll pick the dress size. if he loved you, he'd love you the way you are and not be holding things he knows you want over your head. That is not the way to start a life together.
  • beautifulmama11
    beautifulmama11 Posts: 13
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    I only use the slimfast first thing in the morning. It helps me with my hunger all afternoon, and my emotional eating habits. But I have noticed if I get bored I snack a lot. I have been trying to eat better things. Like an apple with lite yogurt. More salads. But I don't plan on staying on the slimfast it is just a stepping stone in my eating transition.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    inside out weightloss podcast http://podcasts.personallifemedia.com/podcasts/216-inside-out-weight-loss
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
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    He does encourage me too. We talk on the phone and he tells me how proud he is. And texts me all the time, with things too. And has is own special ways of helping me. But he didn't say that he wouldn't marry me cause im overweight. He knows how long i have been wanting to marry him. So he used it as a leverage for me to lose weight. He said " he would buy the dress, Anyone I want, But he gets to pick the size. He told me I would look great in a 14 or 16. So it's not like he wants me at a 8 or anything like that. And he wants me to be healthy, Hes a nurse and it killed him watching me be 254 pregnant with our daughter. It was not healthy and I totally agree. But he doesn't always have an openmind. And he's never been overweight. So sometimes I need help from other people that are or have been in the same boat.

    This is not the man you want to spend your life with,. he's passive aggressive which will not be healthy for you or your child.

    You need to do this for you, and only for you. Forget what he wants. It's not about him. At all. it's about you. And don't buy into his BS of he'll pick the dress size. if he loved you, he'd love you the way you are and not be holding things he knows you want over your head. That is not the way to start a life together.

    I have to say I agree with this. Picking your wedding dress size is BS. Marriage is not a carrot you use to get someone to change their behavior. When you get married, you are not marrying the person in front of you, you are marrying the person that person is going to become, for better or for worse. That is why it is such a huge committment. He is already saying he wants to marry you only when you get to a certain size. What happens if/when you have size fluctuations after you get married? Pregnancy, health problems, hormonal changes will cause your body to change. What then?

    I have lost a lot of weight in the past couple of years. My husband has not ONCE criticized my body. He makes sure I have plenty of time to go to the gym, if I want to go - he takes over morning duty every day because I like to work out first thing in the morning.

    And - why aren't you married already? He knows you've been waiting "so long" to marry him. Why? The fact that he has a child with you, wants another but won't marry you without strings is troubling. I strongly suggest seeing a relationship counselor to figure out what's going on, either with him or by yourself. You deserve a terrific relationship and someone who is supportive in a meaningful way.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    Now he wants me to lose it to, so we can get married. I know that sounds bad, but he knows this is something I REALLY have been wanting, so he used it as a leverage against me! Frustrating but I understand how he means well!

    This part of your post troubles me. Think really long and hard about marriage with this guy. It's one thing when someone who loves you is concerned about your health and well being, that's wonderful. But to use it as "leverage"? No.
  • beautifulmama11
    beautifulmama11 Posts: 13
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    He does encourage me too. We talk on the phone and he tells me how proud he is. And texts me all the time, with things too. And has is own special ways of helping me. But he didn't say that he wouldn't marry me cause im overweight. He knows how long i have been wanting to marry him. So he used it as a leverage for me to lose weight. He said " he would buy the dress, Anyone I want, But he gets to pick the size. He told me I would look great in a 14 or 16. So it's not like he wants me at a 8 or anything like that. And he wants me to be healthy, Hes a nurse and it killed him watching me be 254 pregnant with our daughter. It was not healthy and I totally agree. But he doesn't always have an openmind. And he's never been overweight. So sometimes I need help from other people that are or have been in the same boat.

    This is not the man you want to spend your life with,. he's passive aggressive which will not be healthy for you or your child.

    You need to do this for you, and only for you. Forget what he wants. It's not about him. At all. it's about you. And don't buy into his BS of he'll pick the dress size. if he loved you, he'd love you the way you are and not be holding things he knows you want over your head. That is not the way to start a life together.

    I have to say I agree with this. Picking your wedding dress size is BS. Marriage is not a carrot you use to get someone to change their behavior. When you get married, you are not marrying the person in front of you, you are marrying the person that person is going to become, for better or for worse. That is why it is such a huge committment. He is already saying he wants to marry you only when you get to a certain size. What happens if/when you have size fluctuations after you get married? Pregnancy, health problems, hormonal changes will cause your body to change. What then?

    I have lost a lot of weight in the past couple of years. My husband has not ONCE criticized my body. He makes sure I have plenty of time to go to the gym, if I want to go - he takes over morning duty every day because I like to work out first thing in the morning.

    And - why aren't you married already? He knows you've been waiting "so long" to marry him. Why? The fact that he has a child with you, wants another but won't marry you without strings is troubling. I strongly suggest seeing a relationship counselor to figure out what's going on, either with him or by yourself. You deserve a terrific relationship and someone who is supportive in a meaningful way.
    He was finishing is MBA before we get married. I wanted to stay near my family so WE decided that I would stay with our daughter while he finished is MBA. Now is got excepted for a Executive position that he is in training for. We don't want to get married being over 700 miles apart. And he has not EVER said that he hates my body or that he wont marry me. We are still getting married the end of this year. But he was trying to find a way to help me reach a goal. I am very bull headed and little things don't faze me. I need something Huge. I guess my posting kinda made him look like a jerk. But he's not. He loves me no matter how i look. He just wants me to get healthy for myself and for our future family!!
  • Annerk1
    Annerk1 Posts: 372 Member
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    He was finishing is MBA before we get married. I wanted to stay near my family so WE decided that I would stay with our daughter while he finished is MBA. Now is got excepted for a Executive position that he is in training for. We don't want to get married being over 700 miles apart. And he has not EVER said that he hates my body or that he wont marry me. We are still getting married the end of this year. But he was trying to find a way to help me reach a goal. I am very bull headed and little things don't faze me. I need something Huge. I guess my posting kinda made him look like a jerk. But he's not. He loves me no matter how i look. He just wants me to get healthy for myself and for our future family!!

    The previous advice suggesting relationship counseling was very sage. I'd go now--without him at first, and then bring him into the conversation. Please don't get married unless you do this first. (This is advice I give all couples--my husband and I did this before we got married even though we had a great and very healthy relationship with a lot of respect. It taught us coping mechanisms to get through when things weren't great.

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