My gym buddies suck! [rant]

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Replies

  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    A good friend of mine, my roommate, and I decided for various reasons we want to get into shape - I think I'm the only one taking this seriously though.

    My roommate is being a complete flake - he has not once gone to the gym with me and I ask him about 4 times a week. He agreed last night to go this morning, but he's is dead asleep still. I did manage to get him to go swimming with me yesterday though, but I think his motivation was to get a tan.

    My other friend lives about a mile from me. We are both similar starting weight, same general level of fitness and when she does go she is pretty good motivation for me to do what I'm supposed to. We had agreed to go 5-6 times a week. She has cancelled 4 times this week, 3 times last week and so on. She always has reasons like sore hips, nausea, shark-week, whatever. I understand not wanting to do things when you feel crappy, but that's exactly when you should do them! I feel like the only valid excuses are fluids projecting out of your body, broken bones or genuine crisis.

    On the bright side, my friends inconsistency has helped my resolve. I am forced to go by myself and be my own motivation. I even find that I push myself a little harder when they are not around as an extra F--- Y-- to get results faster than they are.

    What motivates you when the people in your life let you down?



    This is why I don't do gym buddies anymore too. Every single person who has ever wanted to "get in shape" with me has flaked out. And even worse, they've tried to drag me down with them when they drop out.
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    I had a gym buddy once and she did the same to me, so I started to go alone. Now I have my bf to worry about because he's kinda laizy. He complains a lot and keeps telling me that we'll start tomorrow, but I am always starting today hoping to give a good example. So far it hasn't worked out too great, but in his case I'll give him more chances until I start doing my thing alone.
  • FaerieCae
    FaerieCae Posts: 437 Member
    Its great you're finding ways to motivate yourself and not just throwing in the towel! Well done!

    Like vstraughan workout time is MY time, to focus, to push harder, to see what im capable of, and yes IMO, imaginary trainer does work! Its also the only time of day I can turn off my brain and am not bombarded with inconsequential thoughts because I am focusing on my body and what im telling it to do.

    it doesnt matter where im working out, but I would find it way harder to do if I was working out with one of my bffs at the gym, even tho shes into it as much as I am, we would distract each other and probably be laughing our butts off at each other.

    In other words, keep it up, rely on yourself, enjoy your time to rock that body! :drinker:
  • jamesrmgibson
    jamesrmgibson Posts: 17 Member
    I tried getting the girlfriend to come with me when I tried losing weight a couple of years ago but she really didn't enjoy it and so stopped going, so I then went a lot less often. We carried on playing badminton together but that eventually died off too. It got to the point where, on a good week, I went to the gym once a week and played football (Americans read: soccer) with guys from work at the weekend and she would do netball twice a week and that would be it. I would then complain that I wasn't losing anything etc.

    But now, I do it all on my own. I go kickboxing, swimming, gym, cycling and football, all at least once a week and, if somebody wants to join me, fine, otherwise I'm quite happy to go on my own.

    My target weight is my motivation now. I don't what changed in me that meant I no longer needed somebody to make me go or why my attitude changed, it just did.
  • mperrott2205
    mperrott2205 Posts: 737 Member
    My girl friend and I both agreed at the same time to start getting into shape, however I'm the only one putting maximum effort into it. She will make any excuse not to go to the gym and when she does go, she does minimum effort. She says she doesn't want to feel "uncomfortable" when going to the gym and when I tell her that sort of attitude won't make you lose weight she says I'm unsupportive.

    But then, she moans at me that she hasn't lost any inches and she hasn't lost any weight and she "Just doesn't know why".

    I've already lost a stone from going to the gym 6 times a week and eating no more than 1700 calories. I've told her to try and do the same but because I'm not a personal trainer she won't listen to me or take my advice seriously. So now I've given up trying to convince her, and any time she moans about her weight I tell her to shut up lol.

    I find motivation in myself. In the fact that I am unhappy with my level of fitness and my body. In the fact that I desperately want a new me.
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    That is why I dropped the whole "gym buddies" approach. I could never get to actually follow through, which often led to me not doing anything either. Even today I'd be in the same boat, except that I just do everything myself.
  • SimplyDenyse
    SimplyDenyse Posts: 124 Member
    I feel your pain. Ive been thinking the past few weeks I need to find some like minded friends that have the same goals/mind set that I do. At work Im one of the few that works out during lunch. They actually make comments about me doing it. Also I want to try some of the fun 5ks I see people doing color run and electric run (mostly just to experience it, it looks so neat) and no one is interested. I seriously think I might just attempt it alone.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    I'm lucky that my Zumba girls will totally bug me if I'm not in class. LOL However, when I'm doing stuff on my own, I listen to Jillian Michaels' podcast - I find it really entertaining and motivating.

    It sucks that your friends are bagging out on you, but honestly, you need to just let them go and do your own thing. You can be your best motivator.
  • vstraughan
    vstraughan Posts: 163 Member
    ..................when I'm doing stuff on my own, I listen to Jillian Michaels' podcast - I find it really entertaining and motivating ................


    I did not know she had a podcast. I'll be checking that out ... thanks for the heads up! ;-)
  • estrange22
    estrange22 Posts: 210 Member
    I have learned to love working out alone! I tried several times to work out with my best girlfriend but she doesn't seem to go her hardest when we work out together and we don't get much accomplished! Not to down on her though because I know in a larger group session with an actual trainer, she kills it!

    What really motivates me is going to the same gym every day and seeing how all the people I 'know" there progress. I also like when my husband goes and does his workouts with his friends but sees how hard I'm working, it makes me work harder. Put simply, after you have done it alone for awhile, you will probably prefer to work out alone ! It has turned out to be the best "me time" I could ever ask for!
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    I dont need a buddy to motivate me or to go to the gym with me.
    Its all me as far as workouts go and my motto is "no excuses, ever". I answer only to myself and Im a great motivator.
  • saverys_gal
    saverys_gal Posts: 808 Member
    I have two girlfriends that I take spin classes with...neither of them goes to the gym a lot though and I don't count on them to go with me. I enjoy the times when they do, but I'm totally fine going in and hitting the machines and weights on my own with my ipod.

    I'm my own motivation-not anyone else!
  • Jackson4590
    Jackson4590 Posts: 145 Member
    People try everything and then make excuses or give up because they find out it will actually mean real work. I know a girl that said she'd run with me but decided against it because "it takes too long to dry my hair after a shower". That's your reason for not exercising?!!?

    My thought is I'll continue to work out and get stronger and after a few months they'll wonder why they don't see any progress. It makes me feel so good to have people notice how fit I'm becoming so I don't feel sorry for people who make excuses at all.

    Go without them. Rock it. Make them jealous.
  • BrattyLori
    BrattyLori Posts: 101 Member
    Where is the LIKE button for all these awesome replies?!

    I find that anyone who ever wants to go to the gym with me wants to take it easy and gab the whole time and then go get a frozen yogurt afterward. I need a gym buddy who will be an animal with me. "Raaaaaaaah!"

    If anyne wants a new Raaah buddy, please friend me.

    Bratty:flowerforyou:
  • Jackson4590
    Jackson4590 Posts: 145 Member
    You don't know how badly I want to call people out for their BS behavior. If I didn't want any friends I would, but it would feel so good to tell people how lazy they are and that 15 minutes on the elliptical at 2 mph followed by 4 beers and a pizza isn't "a tough workout day"..
  • Aboulet
    Aboulet Posts: 11
    Likely, your friends want the results of working out, without actually doing any real working out. Lots of people are that way - you say you're going to do something, and they are all "Yeah! Me too!" and then they crap out and don't do anything. Weight loss and fitness training is a personal journey, not a group journey. You need to set your own goals and priorities, and do this because it's time for you to get it done. No one can/will go to the gym 5 days a week unless he/she really wants to make a difference. Maybe they talk the talk, but if they are not willing to walk the walk, you need to forget about them in this sense. Still be friends, and talk about your workout habits, and the benefits of doing it consistently, are having on you (I sleep better, my back doesn't hurt any more, I actually have more energy than I used to, etc.) if they ask. Otherwise, just do your thing without them and let your friendship be a separate issue from working out. All you need to reach your goals is DESIRE!

    For me, my husband and three children are my workout partners these past two weeks. It's nice to be part of a group, but my kids are getting tired of it, and my husband barely has the time to spare. We are doing a 90 day program, but I won't be surprised if he becomes a couch potato again when the 90 days is over (if we make it that long).
  • LBNOakland
    LBNOakland Posts: 379 Member
    I will say I had an awesome gym buddy at first! She was my inspiration to start lifting. When she and I would workout together, we pushed each other. If she lifted a certain weight, I tried to lift as much. It was always more than I would have attempted on my own. She was stronger so it would make her lift more than me because she knew she should be able to. When she moved, I stopped for a while! Hubby stepped in with strength coach and I know realize I just have to keep on keeping on. When my kids work out with me, I notice it pushes me to try to keep up with them. I really do get motivation from working with others because of my competitive nature. My journal he,ps me with that now. I know I have to do one more round than last time if 20 minute circuit. On weights, I always try to lift heavier than last time or add reps from last time. It feeds the competitive me!! :happy:
  • helpfit101
    helpfit101 Posts: 347 Member
    I used to go running with a buddy. Never missed a run. Then he flaked out. I went for a few times then didn't go for a long time either.

    What that has taught me is you need to find your main motivation from within. Of course you can allow buddies to support you now and again, but you need to be ready for when they stop going. You need to find an activity you can continue even if nobody else shows up.

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