Child with ADHD

Might not seem like the best answer... but PATIENCE. Especially since she is only with you part of the time. Cutting back on sugar and crap food is always a great idea. Structured activities are great too. :flowerforyou:

How old is you stepdughter? And how long have you supstected she has ADHD? If she is older than preschool age and it's been longer than six months you should probably have her tested if for no other reason to rule out something else causing the symptoms. And you would have a starting point to decide how you want to go about treating and/or managing her symptoms if it is in fact ADHD, an "official" diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean medication. Good luck!

I have ADD and I can't tell you enough how much coconut oil and chia seeds have helped me. I eat one or the other daily. I don't know if it will calm the H part, but it definitely helps me focus. I do not take any meds.

It's basically because both have high counts of Omega 3 which are really good with people with this problem.

I have two kids diagnosed with ADHD, one we have never given medication, the other we just now started one medication. (My line was when ADHD impacts LEARNING -- learning, not grades was the point that I would consider medication)


Have you tried fish oil? That seemed to help both of my kids -- truth be told I could have been a placebo effect but helpful is helpful.

Caffeine has a beneficial effect on my son (the medicated one), but not my daughter. Caffeine is a stimulant like Ritalin so it makes sense that it could help.

Both my kids have seen psychologist at different times. We just got started with my son, but for my daughter, it was all focused on organizational and other coping skills. My daughter is VERY self aware and those sessions really helped her to understand what was going on (different from others). I think that awareness really benefited her in middle school.

Also with my daughter (who BTW was diagnosed in 3rd grade and is now an 8th grader) I found that books geared specifically to ADHD in girls were really useful, as ADHD in girls is often different than in boys.


We do not have any accommodation through the school at this time. We tried with my daughter, but had a combination of poor teacher follow through and my feeling that the accommodations were not appropriate for her. Her grades can be all over the place (I used to say that if you give her the same assignment on two different days she would get an A on one and an F on the other based simply on how well she was able to focus) and she forgets to turn in assignments (oddly does not forget to do them, just turn them in).

There is a book with a diet for adhd. I think gluten and red #40 are triggers. My son is adhd and not on medication. Patience, consistancy, routine. Those are the things that work for him. The problem is with her having to be with you only part time, the consistancy thing will be hard to do. Maybe her other parents would agree to a system to keep things routine for her so that she don't have to take medication. The medicines for it can be terrible, just suck the life right out of your child. Learn about it, learn to deal with it, and be patient and understanding.

PS. My son is homeschooled bc the schools in my area don't know how to deal with it. My mom schools him while I work since I'm a single parent.

Cut out red dye #40. I've been hearing a lot of studies that say that red #40 can, in some children, make the have the same symptoms as ADHD. It may take as long as 3 months to get completely out of their system but you will know if they're one of those children or actually have ADHD. I'm just beginning this process with my little 3 year old as he's too young to be tested but is so much "different" than other children his age.

This worked for my cousins son. I tried it with my son though and it did not work. Every child is different, I decided to medicate my son once I noticed his ADHD was affecting his learning. Ever since his grades have drastically improved and he is still the same old fun and loving kid he always was. Consistency and patience are a necessity when you are the parent of an ADHD child. ALWAYS follow through with rules and consequences and remember to praise when they are being good. They thrive on success.

My daughter has never been diagnosed, BUT we saw signs in her behavior and we cut our gluten from her diet. That alone made a HUGE difference in her behavior. Recently now that her behavior has changed because of no gluten I can notice when she is exposed to other things that affect her. She had to go on an antibiotic for a UTI and the meds were dyed and flavored because the taste is horrible apparently. She was off the walls for those 10 days and is still not back to normal. I googled red dye last night, it can stay in their brain for up to 6 weeks!!! I'm hoping it doesn't take that long to get out of her system. I'm very pleased with the progress we have made with her diet elimination.

In addition to dyes and excess sugar, we limit processed foods with preservatives in my daughter's diet. She was diagnosed at age 6 after three years of trouble sitting at circle time in nursery school/kindergarten/first grade and having some major anxiety issues with seat work in school. I could deal with her being a chatty patty and high energy, but along with that (and people who don't have a child diagnosed with ADHD rarely understand this) you also have the negative impact of ADHD. Your child knows that something isn't right. My daughter would try to do her homework at night and would erase holes in the paper because she couldn't get her letters to look exactly the way they were pre-printed on the paper. She would cry at the dinner table because it felt awkward to her to sit in the chair and she could only be comfortable if she stood. We would have meltdowns in the mornings because of tags in her shirts, the waistband on her jeans and the seams in her socks. She couldn't dry her hands in a public restroom because the noise of the dryer sounds 1000x louder to her than anyone else. All of these are sensory issues that go along with her anxiety and impulsivity. After trying fish oil and changing her diet for 6-8 months, none of these things were going away and my little girl no longer had a sparkle in her eye or a smile on her face. That's when we decided to go with medication. I've never regretted it. She's flourishing in 3rd grade, 80% of the sensory issues have gone away and her report card is solid. Meds were the best thing in our case. She's my chipper little girl again.

Now I didn't mean to turn this into a "my story", but one thing I wanted to mention - before we could get to the point where she is able to handle this, there was an 18 month wait to see a specialist to have her evaluated and diagnosed. The school can't do much for you without a diagnosis (like a 504 or IEP), and obviously if meds were the best choice you'd need the diagnosis for that too. So I would be aware that if her mom does seem receptive to having her evaluated, don't wait to make an appointment. Things get tougher from this point on (my daughter is also 8), so the sooner she can get some relief, the better for her. Good luck!

ANYTHING with red dyes in it. also APPLES .... they are very high in natural sugars and my brother (ADHD diagnosed) used to eat them like crazy and the doctor pointed out the apples. my 2 boys i am also sure have adhd but like you i have chosen to treat with discipline, stimulation and diet rather than medication because I am able too. My step daughter (16 yo) is on concerta for ADHD by HER choice as she finds it easier to focus on her studies in school ....

Be mindful of preservatives and color additives in food. Also, gluten can (not always, but can) be a trigger. My son is 6 and although his doctor says he's still a little young for official testing, he has all the symptoms. I notice that he's much more focused and manageable when we cut out the gluten/sugar/preservatives, etc. Of course this is REALLY hard with a super picky 6 year old, and I'd be a total liar if I said we never got happy meals or things like that, but we do the best we can and it does seem to help.

Another big thing is sleep. Many children don't get enough sleep, and it tends to contribute to those ADHD symptoms. Making sure your little one gets a good 10 hours of sleep/night (less for adults, but kids need lots of it) will help, too. I am VERY against medicating children unless absolutely necessary, so we are exploring all holistic approaches and alternative therapies before making that move. I have ADHD as well, and holistic methods worked for me until early adulthood; I've only in the last few years had to begin taking medication, and even now I only take a very small dosage.

But as others have said, your biggest ally will be PATIENCE. It's frustrating. Sometimes you just want to tear your hair out. Just be patient, help your child to understand what is going on with them, and just make sure he/she knows that they are smart, loved, and important. I would also recommend keeping your child very active and involved in a sport of some kind. It's really helped with my son, having him in baseball. Good luck!

In addition to dyes and excess sugar, we limit processed foods with preservatives in my daughter's diet. She was diagnosed at age 6 after three years of trouble sitting at circle time in nursery school/kindergarten/first grade and having some major anxiety issues with seat work in school. I could deal with her being a chatty patty and high energy, but along with that (and people who don't have a child diagnosed with ADHD rarely understand this) you also have the negative impact of ADHD. Your child knows that something isn't right. My daughter would try to do her homework at night and would erase holes in the paper because she couldn't get her letters to look exactly the way they were pre-printed on the paper. She would cry at the dinner table because it felt awkward to her to sit in the chair and she could only be comfortable if she stood. We would have meltdowns in the mornings because of tags in her shirts, the waistband on her jeans and the seams in her socks. She couldn't dry her hands in a public restroom because the noise of the dryer sounds 1000x louder to her than anyone else. All of these are sensory issues that go along with her anxiety and impulsivity. After trying fish oil and changing her diet for 6-8 months, none of these things were going away and my little girl no longer had a sparkle in her eye or a smile on her face. That's when we decided to go with medication. I've never regretted it. She's flourishing in 3rd grade, 80% of the sensory issues have gone away and her report card is solid. Meds were the best thing in our case. She's my chipper little girl again.

Now I didn't mean to turn this into a "my story", but one thing I wanted to mention - before we could get to the point where she is able to handle this, there was an 18 month wait to see a specialist to have her evaluated and diagnosed. The school can't do much for you without a diagnosis (like a 504 or IEP), and obviously if meds were the best choice you'd need the diagnosis for that too. So I would be aware that if her mom does seem receptive to having her evaluated, don't wait to make an appointment. Things get tougher from this point on (my daughter is also 8), so the sooner she can get some relief, the better for her. Good luck!

This is almost exactly like my experience with my 10 year old, get her tested, the more you know the better you can do for your own child. They are not going to push medication on you, it will always be your decision to make. My daughter ended up being diagnosed with ADHD, general anxiety disorder, sensory issues and mild OCD. This diagnosis gave us the the starting point from which to develop our game plan. Treating the anxiety allieviated the symptoms of all of the other issues to the point that they were managable for her. It took 3 years to find the perfect combonation of treatments for us. When you know better, you do better.

A lot of the responses comment on what you CAN'T have (or shouldn't) with ADHD. We typically eat a healthy, low-to-no-processed foods (although we've been a little off lately), so a lot of these things don't really make a difference to us. However, one thing I noticed is that our daughter does SIGNIFICANTLY better if she has a mostly protien-rich breakfast before school. She loved having smoothies, fruit, or even plain yogurt with fresh fruit for breakfast. But....when we switched her to more egg-based breakfasts, we noticed her focus increased. She could actually have a conversation about what she did at school, what her homework was about, and she went from taking 2 hours to finish her homework (in 1st grade) to a half hour or less.

Her favorite breakfast is her egg muffins. We make them in a mini muffin pan. Here's what we do:

6 whole eggs (we use brown, cage-free, omega-3 eggs)
6 egg whites
diced bell pepper
diced mushrooms
sausage or chorizo
cheese of her choosing
seasonings of her choosing

Whisk the eggs, add the ingredients, and put in the mini muffin pan and bake

She loves getting to help make them, and that she can microwave as many as she wants by herself for breakfast each morning.

We have a child with ADHD, and we also tried behaviour management and diet. It helped a little for a while, but in the end it was not helping so we decided that we had to go the medication route. It has made a world of difference in him and we have not seen very much difference it his personality. He is not spaced out. He is however, better able to focus in on what he is supposed to be doing. As mathjulz says, it is not a fix but it does help him focus. Everyone is different, and solutions are different as well. As others have said you should see his doctor and get him/her diagnosed.

Above all, realize that this isn't something that you "cure." It isn't even really something that you want to cure. It's a different way for the brain to function. People with ADD/ADHD are highly intelligent and very creative. Einstein most likely had ADD. Same with Thomas Edison. Also, many screenwriters, directors, authors, etc …

Help her learn to control her impulses. Help her learn to manage her activity and to recognize when she's having an "oh shiny" moment, and how to pull herself back. Help her learn to channel her hyperfocus (yes, we get super super focused on things and have a hard time changing tracks) into things that are positive. Help her to do her best in school, but accept that it won't be the same performance as a child without ADD -- and be ready to be her advocate with the schools (An IEP is the best thing we did for our son's education). Some children and adults do need medication in order to learn to manage herself. Meds aren't evil, but they also aren't a "fix," just a help.

And above all, let her know you love and value her just as she is!!

I agree with all of this 100%! My daughter's creativity is off the charts, and her though brain moves at warp speed, now that she can focus a little easier, mostly good things come of that. And the hyperfocus! I do have to limit the minecraft or she would sit in front of it for an entire day, I'm sure. I think being able to zone out on something like this for a little while each day is really good for her. It's kind of her down time.

My son is obsessed with Minecraft too! I think like you said, it helps to have something to zone out on.