Happy = Food

this is spurred by another post I entered this morning. How I chose not to buy the box of donuts and instead bought 1 donut for each child instead, my theory being both my children and I will pick at the remaining donuts until they are all gone.

There was a time when I would do ANYTHING for my son, although I have two children my son has a rare illness and is physically disabled. I would over compensate for his physical restrictions by giving him everything else he wanted, I rarely if ever said no.
If buying my son a box of donuts made him happy, so be it, candy bar, bag of chips, whatever, I would do it and along with him I would indulge as well. telling myself, its just mountain dew, its just cookies, I deserve it after all I sacrifice and am responsible for, poor me. Same attitude towards my son, his life is hard enough as it is, might as well keep him were I do have control. Make him his favorite foods. Well of course my son is overweight, he can't build muscle so his BMI is off the charts, plus he can't be physically active so he doesn't burn calories all day.
I turned my life into his, I thought I would be rubbing it in his face if I was thin, healthy, active.
Unfortunately I wasn't the smart one who saw how dysfunctional that was, my son did.
He saw all the sacrifices his little sister had to make because our lives were restricted by his inability to participate physically, he saw how tired and unhappy I was from being overweight, how I was often too cranky to engage my children, especially my daughter in physical activity.
He encouraged the change, once he gave me 'permission' to live my life differently, that I didn't have to give everything up for him, then I became the adult and I am the one responsible for the follow through on the good decisions.
I am the one who now has to say no to the candy bars, chips, pizza everyday, donuts, my own soda addiction.

Its hard but nothing inspires me more then seeing my son live his life despite his restrictions. It helped me to change my attitude as well and to push for a better quality of life for myself. That is why I don't have a specific weight goal I am trying to reach, I just want to be stronger, healthier, more active, less cranky and more motivated.