Am I crazy???

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lds25
lds25 Posts: 68
in Motivation and Support
Hey there MFP friends. I am Linda and I have been here for a few months having great success with losing weight. Ok so here is the crazy part. I separated from my husband in March of this year. I was pretty sure that I wanted to go for a divorce and never get back together with him. So here is where i stand; we booked a cruise last year while things were rocky but thought maybe we just needed a holiday but I left instead. Well I was sitting here when I got an email reminding me that our payment is going to be due in2 months for our final payment. Hmmm that got me thinking of what we were going to do about this. I look back on my past cruises and remembered how much fun they were, with or without my ex-husband. I love to cruise!!!! So I called to ask what my options were and found out that we would stand to lose a bunch of money if we cancelled.

I am working out so hard to lose weight that I finally decided that I deserve this holiday!!!!!! Am I crazy for still going on this cruise with him???? I am hoping to get some focus on this.

Replies

  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    Questions, questions...


    Can you change the second person to another whom you want to go with for a nominal fee?

    If you go with your ex-H will it be fun or uncomfortable?

    Do you think it would be a good way to rekindle things, or end things?

    The biggest one for me: Do you have children that by going on the cruise with your ex-H would have issues and confusion regarding the situation? Would it give them hope in an otherwise already clearly defined seperation?

    And lastly - can you transfer that money to another cruise for one person, or two people, at a later date?

    Those are the questions I would personally ask myself before going with someone I just split from. Especially after being married for so long.
  • sexylonglegs
    sexylonglegs Posts: 278
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    Not crazy! Go have some fun!!!
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    Can you take someone else? I think it might be uncomfortable
  • Mellie13
    Mellie13 Posts: 424
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    I would say go together. Maybe you will see each other in a different light and be able to work things out! Good luck!
  • tina_011794
    tina_011794 Posts: 39
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    My thoughts are, if you decide to go, lay down rules before hand. No sex, kissing, or unwanted affection. You are going as friends only. This is a time you can evaluate the relationship to see if divorce is the only answer. I see you have 5 children. They need to know the two of you can still be friends and adults. Let them, if age appropriate, know that the trip was planned before everything happened. They need to know not to get their hopes up to you getting back together. Then if you do, it is a big surprise for everyone.
  • hamiltonba
    hamiltonba Posts: 474 Member
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    If he didn't want you to leave, you are sending him mixed messages. Either you want the marriage to work or don't. I would feel used and I would be angry if I was the husband. After all, isn't it the cruise that you're after?
  • riveraphx
    riveraphx Posts: 380 Member
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    I don't think you're crazy at all. If you are making your decision solely based on financial reasons then I think maybe you should reconsider going with him. It may lead him to believe you will be getting back together or vice versa. My motto is "just do what feels good". If going on a cruise with your hubby feels good, then go for it, if it doesn't, then don't go.
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
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    Hey there MFP friends. I am Linda and I have been here for a few months having great success with losing weight. Ok so here is the crazy part. I separated from my husband in March of this year. I was pretty sure that I wanted to go for a divorce and never get back together with him. So here is where i stand; we booked a cruise last year while things were rocky but thought maybe we just needed a holiday but I left instead. Well I was sitting here when I got an email reminding me that our payment is going to be due in2 months for our final payment. Hmmm that got me thinking of what we were going to do about this. I look back on my past cruises and remembered how much fun they were, with or without my ex-husband. I love to cruise!!!! So I called to ask what my options were and found out that we would stand to lose a bunch of money if we cancelled.

    I am working out so hard to lose weight that I finally decided that I deserve this holiday!!!!!! Am I crazy for still going on this cruise with him???? I am hoping to get some focus on this.

    Just a couple of questions first.

    1. Do you both still get on even though you have split?

    2. Would you be able to both go as just friends without either one of you demanding anything more than that from the other? In other words, could be both remain platonic?

    If so, go for it, why not, better to do that than lose a bundle of money. You like your holidays, love cruises, here's your chance.

    If that were me, I would do it, provided I got on with my ex. Couple all that with a fantastic aim to include in your weight loss and you are onto a winner!

    If you do decide to go, enjoy it to bits!!!
  • lds25
    lds25 Posts: 68
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    Just a couple of questions first.

    1. Do you both still get on even though you have split?

    2. Would you be able to both go as just friends without either one of you demanding anything more than that from the other? In other words, could be both remain platonic?

    If so, go for it, why not, better to do that than lose a bundle of money. You like your holidays, love cruises, here's your chance.

    If that were me, I would do it, provided I got on with my ex. Couple all that with a fantastic aim to include in your weight loss and you are onto a winner!

    If you do decide to go, enjoy it to bits!!!

    1. I guess we get along well enough, we are def better friends than married couple.

    2. I think we prob could be platonic. I dont hate him at all. I just found that i was miserable living with him.

    I have thought that if i didnt go then we would have to decide on what other options we have tho.

    Linda
  • kintegra
    kintegra Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Well if you can go as friends & have a great time, then GO FOR IT! But I agree, lay down the ground rules first & let him know you may be doing your own thing while on the cruise. And since you've been doing so awesome working on yourself, you definitely deserve a break & much needed vacation. You may as well go & enjoy your vacation, rather than lose the money you had to fork out for it already.

    Kelly
  • katlou2
    katlou2 Posts: 199 Member
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    Poor you, I have no advice to give and it sounds like a tough decision. You really need the vacation so I hope things work out for you to still be able to cruise. With or without him... Life is weird!

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