Not so hot naked!

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ChangingLifestyles
ChangingLifestyles Posts: 117
in Motivation and Support
My main reason for wanting to lose weight is because of my insecurities while NAKED. My boyfriend seems 50/50 on it. Sometimes he's like "Please, take it all off! I want to see your whole body!" But then he acts strange. Maybe I make him feel awkward by me feeling awkward? I would say maybe he's not attracted to it but after two years he still asks me ever so often to get completely naked. Some people may think this topic is a little too much or revealing for the ears and if you feel so you should X out the page. However, this is a very serious yet scary and discombobulating topic for me. But honestly, I'm not happy naked anymore. I think 85% is the stretchmarks and the other 15% is the weight or HEY, maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's the other way around. I guess I'd have to lose weight to truly know where I'm happy with it. With clothes on, I feel pretty good depending on the outfit and I usually choose things I feel pretty in, lol. I'd prefer my butt to stick out more than my belly. How do you guys feel about the topic? Does anybody feel the same or have a similar thought?

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  • SlimJanette
    SlimJanette Posts: 597 Member
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    You are a beautiful woman. You have had a child so stretch marks are part of the deal. I used to feel the same as you, but you need to feel comfortable about yourself before you will think that your bf is comfortable with seeing you naked. After 2 years, he obviously loves you and wants to be with you. Stop worrying about it and enjoy it. You are working to get to a goal so embrace each step or goal and use it as a stepping stone. If your bf doesn't want to be with you because of how he sees you naked, then you shouldn't be with him.
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
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    Ugh I hate being naked. But that's my insecurities though. I'm working on toning up so that I like my body more-it's working. You will still never see me in a bikini though lol.

    I'm not sure why your boyfriend is acting strange, but if its making your body confidence worse maybe you should talk to him about it.

    Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about stretch marks, you just have to accept them.
  • K_Mcfadden321
    K_Mcfadden321 Posts: 87
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    When I am feeling insecure naked in front of my boyfriend I remind myself of this part of Eat, Pray, Love (not that I want to go buy bigger jeans, but you get the idea!)

    Liz: I’m in love. I’m having a relationship with my pizza. You look like you’re breaking up with your pizza. What’s the matter?
    Sofi: I can’t.
    Liz: What do you mean you can’t? This is Pizza Margherita in Napoli, it is imperative to eat and enjoy that pizza.
    Sofi: I want to, but I’ve gained like ten pounds. I mean, I’ve got this. . .right here in my tummy, you know this. . .what’s it called? What’s the word for it?
    Liz: A muffin top. I have one too.
    Sofi: I unbuttoned my jeans like five minutes ago just looking at this.
    Liz: Lemme ask you a question, in all the years you’ve ever undressed for a gentleman–
    Sofi: –it hasn’t been that many.
    Liz: Alright. Has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out, left?
    Sofi: No.
    Liz: Because he doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery. I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before. Counting every calorie I consumed so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese; I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza and then we’re going to go watch the soccer game and tomorrow we’re going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.

    You are beautiful and the more you believe it, the more it will show through on the outside. My boyfriend always tells me he can tell without me saying a word when I am feeling confident vs. when I am not (in and out of clothes) simply by the way I carry myself. I believe that is very true, the better you feel about yourself, the better you will look to the world.
  • jwalkowi
    jwalkowi Posts: 7
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    Had a similar problem with my partner- i thought he didnt want to see me naked, but it turned out he did- and I didn't.

    i think for me, it was all in my head. i was uncomfortable with my body and so I assumed that he just didnt want to see it. nothing is sexier in a person than confidence. so even when i dont feel sexy, when im around him i'll sometimes just say "i may be chubby but i'm sexy as hell!"

    im positive that your partner loves seeing you naked. it sounds cheesey but positive thinking and visualization can really help with the way we see ourselves, and can help change the way others see us. Or as I like to say "fake it till you make it"- I'll look in the mirror in my undies, pose around a bit and say "girl you look good!" and somedays I actually believe it. :)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    I am the opposite and love being naked, but I am TOTALLY shy. Go figure that one out.

    My friends call me nature boy.

    But in a relationship, you need to share of yourself freely. You partner isn't trying to embarass you, but wants to share in your body. You can slowly build up to it, but you need to have confidnce that he is really enjoys your whole body.
  • Tiffyholli
    Tiffyholli Posts: 92 Member
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    Be confident in your body, your sexy!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Sweety my boyfriend has seen me completely naked at 365lbs. You have nothing to fear. Confidence is the best clothing when naked. There is no such thing as the perfect body. Focus on what makes YOU feel good when you guys are making love. Focus on your naughty fantasies. Focus on having the biggest O of you life. You'll feel alive and like the beautiful, sensual woman you are.

    You have the one most glorious tool that will bring any man to his knees right between your legs.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    turn the lights off......
    your bf acts dumb........
    you ar e good enough for him to sleep with so..........
  • vorgas
    vorgas Posts: 741 Member
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    Diet and cardio make you look good with clothes on.
    Weight lifting makes you look good naked.
  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
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    I totally second the weight lifting comment.

    Be happy with yourself and your body; nobody looks perfect except for a very few young people with genetically blessed features.

    But lowering body fat and increasing muscle mass does make a person - be it man or woman - look better with clothes off. It adds sleek, sexy shape to just about every part of the body. Even the wobbly bits look better because there is shape underneath them. Doing cardio alone will help the heart, but it leaves a person as a smaller version of themselves.
  • Meg_Shirley_86
    Meg_Shirley_86 Posts: 275 Member
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    All of the above advice is brilliant. I'd just like to add that you can definitely work your way down to totally naked over time. Babydoll lingerie with boyshort, then sheer babydoll with bikini/thong, then bra and panties, then, well... you get my drift! I feel like I was just dirty talking to you! Sorry about that..... or, you're welcome, whichever is most appropriate.
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
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    Diet and cardio make you look good with clothes on.
    Weight lifting makes you look good naked.

    This^^^

    You also have to have confidence in your body no matter what the size is. Sexy is not a size its a feeling. And remember the definition of the word Beautiful does not require the work Skinny.
  • tankerswife05
    tankerswife05 Posts: 2
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    I'm the same way. I feel so ugly when I'm naked. Even when people say you've got a great body. You look great. I'm sitting here thinking you don't know what I look like with my clothes off. The more you work out the sooner you will feel better. Sounds dumb but as you keep workin out and eating right you boost your self confidence and begin to feel better about your self. I started working out but I also started tanning at the same time I have lost 8lbs and I'm tan. I feel better and excited for my next weigh in. It will take time. I have felt this way all my life. But I never worked out and never had a healthy eating habit. I am starting to feel a little better looking at myself naked. I'm working on being comfortable with my husband seeing me naked.
  • Fitscorcher
    Fitscorcher Posts: 47
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    I don't have much time because believe it or not my husband wants an early night! I'm 392lb at my heaviest 395lb , I've lost 3 lbs lol. I've been married 17 years and my weight has gone up and up. I feel insecure at times but my husband insists he still finds me attractive and our sex life is still good (not perfect but not bad after 17 years) My husband has never bought me sexy lingerie because he says "it does nothing for him", he reckons it's a waste of money as it won't stay on long! He loves me for me and he knows I hate my body but he likes that it's so soft. He has bought me a mini skirt, low cut see through top and high heeled shoes, he knows what he likes.. :-) You shouldn't worry, the fact he's still with you must tell you something!

    Oh and just to add, as I said I'm 392lb / 28st I work as a make-up artist but I often get asked to be a model and pose nude, implied nude or in lingerie for photographers. I've always said no but you'd be surprised how many men want to see erotic photos of the women as large as me.

    I also go to the gym 3-4 times a week followed by a swim and often get someone chatting me up, playing footsie or touching my leg in the Jacuzzi. A couple of months ago a chap started chatting to me after, a while he said "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't noticed your boobs and I'd by lying if I said I hadn't wondered what it would be like to feel them" I was speechless! We might hate our bodies but some men love them! You are you, he loves you for you, if he told you to keep your clothes on you should be worried. enjoy life, buy yourself something you feel sexy in and try to have a special fun evening with him. Stop worrying. ;-)
  • BernardPumpkin
    BernardPumpkin Posts: 86
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    no guy gits awkward jus cuz ur awkward while ur naked. instead we embrace it. do some toning exercises
  • whitnapkin
    whitnapkin Posts: 15
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    Had a similar problem with my partner- i thought he didnt want to see me naked, but it turned out he did- and I didn't.

    i think for me, it was all in my head. i was uncomfortable with my body and so I assumed that he just didnt want to see it. nothing is sexier in a person than confidence. so even when i dont feel sexy, when im around him i'll sometimes just say "i may be chubby but i'm sexy as hell!"

    im positive that your partner loves seeing you naked. it sounds cheesey but positive thinking and visualization can really help with the way we see ourselves, and can help change the way others see us. Or as I like to say "fake it till you make it"- I'll look in the mirror in my undies, pose around a bit and say "girl you look good!" and somedays I actually believe it. :)


    This is so True!!! I finally stopped trying to lose weight to impress people such as my fiance... but for me and me only, Not to get skinny but to get healthy! Confidence really does make all the difference. It feels good to be called beautiful, especially when your body exposed, but what feels even better, is when he calls you beautiful and you actually believe him.
  • eliseofthejungle
    eliseofthejungle Posts: 113 Member
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    Maybe he looks strange because you look SO GOOD that he needs to "think about baseball" and it takes concentration. :wink:

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