Negative Comments about weight loss.

2

Replies

  • Cwyman1
    Cwyman1 Posts: 72 Member
    They probably envy you, are jealous of you, and secretly want to be more like you. But since they can't or won't put in the work, they try to get you to become more like them.

    If they're over weight and are encouraging you to eat more, maybe turn the table on them and encourage them to put down the food and exercise more to become healthy.
  • Kassadeedle
    Kassadeedle Posts: 136 Member
    I'm with you OP, my grandmom is the worst. She's always telling me I'm so skinny and asking if I eat while she gives me this concerned look. It's really annoying that people doubt you can lose weight without starving yourself. People at work have also asked me if I'm eating and then made little comments while I'm eating my salad and fruit for lunch like there's something wrong with me for eating healthy...meanwhile they go stuff their face with McDonalds 5 days a week. They are just jealous!!
  • trixie315
    trixie315 Posts: 95 Member
    bump
  • sparkle814
    sparkle814 Posts: 78 Member
    Almost everyone in my family is overweight or obese (myself included - [but not for too much longer!]) and my brother was pretty chubby up until middle school. Then he joined the cross country team and grew a foot taller, etc. and since then has been very slim. My whole family used to always pick on him for being too skinny (even though his doctor confirmed he was on the lower end of the healthy weight range for his age and height) and I could tell it really bothered him. I finally lost my **** one day and said to a couple of them something like - You all need to stop picking on him for being the only person in this family who is a healthy weight! He doesn't make fun of any of you for being fat so I don't know why you think it's okay to make fun of him for being skinny!

    Hang in there - people can be rude. I think it's just visually shocking to see someone who used to be overweight now be healthy. It doesn't compute in the brain properly and people think OMG you're dying. lol
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    i overheard a girl the other day saying that i should eat a burger.
    haters gonna hate, don't pay attention to them
  • TheDarlingOne
    TheDarlingOne Posts: 255 Member
    Turn the negative feelings about the comments, into positive feelings! :)

    Maybe consider them saying those things to you because you're clearly doing a good job, and it's showing - not that they're trying to bring you down.

    People are noticing the weight, and instead of falling all over you with compliments and stuff - they're just casually saying, "ooooOoh girl you gonna blow away in the next big wind if you don't eat something!" - as their way of saying "wow I am so jealous you are doing so good! I'm impressed!"

    maybe for fun, when they speak to you saying those things - think of it in an old southern, scarlet o'hara "Gone with the Wind" type of charming accent. Just for laughs lol.

    I would consider it complimenting because at this point....folks be beggin me to STOP eating lol.

    Have a great week - and eat something why don'tcha!?
    JUST KIDDING! :)
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
    Being overweight and/or obese is the norm...people aren't really used to seeing other people at a healthy BF% and healthy weight...looking all fit and what not. A lot of people also think that getting there is unattainable unless you are doing something dangerous like severely under-eating or whatever. Also, most people have no clue when it comes to proper nutrition...if they actually knew and understood what they were putting into their bodies and what that was doing to their bodies they would probably be appalled at themselves (I know I was). People simply lack dedication and severely lack knowledge when it comes to proper nutrition.

    All this! It's hard for people to accept and understand. AND people hate change, period. they will get used to you. :)
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    girl, forget them. You are doing this for you and you are gorgeous!!
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
    the thing that really pisses me off about weight loss, is that people are beginning to associate overweight with the norm. for my personal size, I should weigh ~110-120lbs. if I even MENTION that weight to my mother, all hell breaks loose. everyone is so used to seeing semi-overweight people that when you see someone who's actually a good weight, they immediately associate it with anorexia. ignore all the haters. if your doctor is okay with your weight, then everyone else can buzz off.
  • cma17
    cma17 Posts: 56 Member


    Also, sometimes people get used to you being heavier, so that when you lose weight they think you're now too thin. They think that someone is too small or has gotten sickly, or that he or she has a bigger build and shouldn't look like that, etc. They only have this view because they knew you as bigger. If you just met someone, they would assume you'd always been that way and would think you looked fine. Try not to worry about it because people are always going to say off the wall things.

    This is so true my bf said to me when I started : You have to stop, your getting to thin, only 68 and no lighter! now he has had a chance to adapt and knows my goals he is the opposite and super supportive.
  • gts175
    gts175 Posts: 38 Member
    Okay, I will eat a big ole sandwich with you if you run a mile down the road with me like someone down there is in trouble and depending on us to save their life. And if you beat me I will eat dessert too!
  • asamuels85
    asamuels85 Posts: 170 Member
    i dont know what is worse.. being told to eat or being accused of using a "magic pill" or whatever else the dreamers watch on infomercials!! I do agree though that its like a slap in the face after working your butt off everyday!! But i try to counter act the ugly talk with a reminder compliment i have gotten on my weight loss somewhere a long the line.

    Truth is, i will never quit, I will keep changing, my body and mind, and i will be forever young!! :)

    I REALLY like gts175's suggestion!! i will be using that one soon!
  • marz42
    marz42 Posts: 223 Member
    It seems like its one extreme or the other. Someone always has an opinion.
    I've been trying to lose weight and get fitter, but focusing a more on the fitness and general healthy eating than the scale itself. I won't do any "diets" other than sometimes tracking on here to see how close i'm getting to what I want to be eating, and changing my habits and awareness of things. Well it seems most of my friends fall into two buckets. Either those who want nothing to do with exercise, remind me how few people actually loose significant weight and keep it off, and tell me to accept myself as is ...or tell me what i'm doing isn't enough, and I should eat no more than 1200 calories a day, never ever eat anything that actually tastes good and do P90x for starters or run 5 miles a day. There is a happy medium and I think I'm good with that.
  • carolmcgov
    carolmcgov Posts: 175 Member
    My mother said to me " you're too skinny look at the state of your legs" which was annoying because the my legs are the first place i lose weight/last place I gain and she too has small legs. Her genes gave me these chicken legs and now im being insulted about them!
  • LuisZ81
    LuisZ81 Posts: 77 Member
    Lots of people had issues with my weight loss, including my family unfortunately. Coming from a mexican household it was hard for my mother to see me put down the arroz and frijoles, and take up salads and veggies. I had plenty of negative comments at first, but most everyone is proud of what I've accomplished. Although there are still some haters out there. Guys whose women might think I'm attractive, and women who didn't give me the time of day, butthurt that I turn them down now. :-)
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    "The people who tend to say these things are themselves over weight." And this is a mystery? Enjoy your health.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    My daddy would have said "If you listen to *kitten* brayin' you'll go deaf before you learn anything."
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Your diary rocks! Great work!
  • sleepingtodream
    sleepingtodream Posts: 304 Member

    Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.

    ^^^ Yes. All of that.

    Exactly --- and too often ppl associated weight loss with deprevation which is not true

    ^^^^ Agree! I say "no" to treats more often than I used too which is something that I needed to do. It doesn't mean that I'm deprived! I don't think alot of people (namely my co-workers) get that daily exercise can be a fun and natural thing to do. I'm making it a habit. It's not something that I have to drag myself to everyday or that it cuts into my everyday life...it has become part of my life (along with meal planning and eating cleaner).
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.


    This.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    How can i deal with these people in a constructive way without being a complete ***** to them and tellying them how i *really* feel??
    What's wrong with telling them how you really feel? They have no problem doing it, so they should expect and appreciate the same.

    IMO the most appropriate responses are A- "blow me," and B- "why, so I can look like you? No thanks."

    Why I wouldn't exactly choose those words, I would probably say to my morbidly obese friend (term used lightly) if she commented about my dedication would be "I just don't want to be a morbidly obese person who doesn't take good care of herself and ends up in the hospital having to get abdominal surgery for things such as hernias that wouldn't have been necessary had I just decided to start eating right and exercise on a regular basis."

    But... it's SOOO much more satisfying to tell them to "blow me". :wink:
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
    a few points I'd like to make:

    I think people on here cry 'sabotage' too frequently. im not saying nobody ever tries to sabotage someone's weight loss, just that its not always sabotage or that over-used 'they're just jealous'.

    I think that people genuinely need time to adjust to your new look, and that's ok! people get used to what you look like, and even if you're obese, that becomes normal in their eyes. Then suddenly you take what they accept as normal and shave 60 pounds off it! Of course you're going to seem really skinny if they thought you were normal 60 pounds ago!
    I had this exact scenario at work a few weeks ago - a colleague said to me 'Susie, you're getting too skinny' and I said 'I'm only skinny compared to how I used to look when I was overweight. I'm right in the middle of my healthy weight range. You're just used to me being a chubba!' and that was that.

    Also, a lot of people think that 'oh no, you don't need to lose weight at all!' is the appropriate response to 'I'd like to lose weight'.
    they aren't trying to sabotage you, they aren't trying to derail your progress, they may actually think you DO need to shed a few, but for some people it's an awkward comment to respond to - its not socially acceptable to say 'good, you must be 40 pounds overweight!' to your colleague in the lunchroom!
    Maybe they aren't trying to keep you fat to make themself feel better, they're just trying to be nice. Maybe they're thinking 'she's saying she doesn't like the way she looks, I'll tell her I think she looks good and that'll make her feel better about herself'

    and one more thing - a partner on a diet can be a real drag for other halves! they aren't the one deciding to lose weight, but somehow they get dragged into ditching their desserts, and trading cuddly movie nights with you for, well, getting moving! they might not be trying to derail you by offering you a slice of pizza or wanting you to park on the couch instead of dashing out to the gym, maybe they just miss sitting on the couch and watching tv with you!

    just some thoughts. again, I'm not saying that people never deliberately try to mess you up, just that not every comment or action is malicious, and in some cases are really quite well-intended
  • charovnitza
    charovnitza Posts: 689
    a few points I'd like to make:

    I think people on here cry 'sabotage' too frequently. im not saying nobody ever tries to sabotage someone's weight loss, just that its not always sabotage or that over-used 'they're just jealous'.

    I think that people genuinely need time to adjust to your new look, and that's ok! people get used to what you look like, and even if you're obese, that becomes normal in their eyes. Then suddenly you take what they accept as normal and shave 60 pounds off it! Of course you're going to seem really skinny if they thought you were normal 60 pounds ago!
    I had this exact scenario at work a few weeks ago - a colleague said to me 'Susie, you're getting too skinny' and I said 'I'm only skinny compared to how I used to look when I was overweight. I'm right in the middle of my healthy weight range. You're just used to me being a chubba!' and that was that.


    Also, a lot of people think that 'oh no, you don't need to lose weight at all!' is the appropriate response to 'I'd like to lose weight'.
    they aren't trying to sabotage you, they aren't trying to derail your progress, they may actually think you DO need to shed a few, but for some people it's an awkward comment to respond to - its not socially acceptable to say 'good, you must be 40 pounds overweight!' to your colleague in the lunchroom!
    Maybe they aren't trying to keep you fat to make themself feel better, they're just trying to be nice. Maybe they're thinking 'she's saying she doesn't like the way she looks, I'll tell her I think she looks good and that'll make her feel better about herself'

    and one more thing - a partner on a diet can be a real drag for other halves! they aren't the one deciding to lose weight, but somehow they get dragged into ditching their desserts, and trading cuddly movie nights with you for, well, getting moving! they might not be trying to derail you by offering you a slice of pizza or wanting you to park on the couch instead of dashing out to the gym, maybe they just miss sitting on the couch and watching tv with you!

    just some thoughts. again, I'm not saying that people never deliberately try to mess you up, just that not every comment or action is malicious, and in some cases are really quite well-intended


    Very well said!
  • Mlkmaid
    Mlkmaid Posts: 356 Member
    Haters gotta hate.
  • courtlaubner
    courtlaubner Posts: 3
    I completely understand! A majority of my family is overweight, especially my dad's side. I'm the most in shape/skinniest one and I could still lose 15-20 pounds. My mom thinks I'm plenty skinny enough so every time I work out (all my equipment is in our garage) she gives me these looks like 'that's unnecessary, you're little enough.' Luckily, all of my friends are 100% supportive of my weight loss/fitness. Now, don't get me wrong. My mom thinks it's great I'm trying to keep myself healthy but she just doesn't get it. She always tries to get me to eat more at meals and makes extra just for me because I don't eat much compared to her and my dad. It's frustrating when people don't understand or completely support your choice that is obviously good for you! Just keep going! You've got plenty of people who think you're doing great. If they don't like your choices, that's too bad because they're YOUR choices. Just do what makes you happy:)
  • tokig0313
    tokig0313 Posts: 99 Member
    A lot of people, skinny, overweight, or somewhere in between have insecurities about themselves and their body. It's easy to hide these insecurities by criticizing others and ignoring our own flaws. Try not to let others ruin your hard work.

    If you can, spend some time around some of your more supportive friends and family and perhaps in time others will realize that they should be more supportive and come around to your outlook.
  • joyincincy
    joyincincy Posts: 228 Member
    Sometimes people are saying it because they are genuinely worried and don't have a proper grasp of what "unhealthily skinny" really is.

    I would have to agree, in today's society thinness, especially healthy thinness, is not focused on and therefore people really do not understand what it means, much less what it looks like. As for a constructive way to approach it... when they start making acquisitions that you are unhealthy simply start to talk about all of the good things that have come about with not only your weight loss, but you strength gain and health gains in general. They can't assume that you are unhealthy and weak if you are doing incredible things with your body that out-of-shape people can't do. Right? Now how about that 1 hour cardio session or 90 minute hot yoga class - looking pretty healthy!
  • workout_fish
    workout_fish Posts: 67 Member
    Okay, I will eat a big ole sandwich with you if you run a mile down the road with me like someone down there is in trouble and depending on us to save their life. And if you beat me I will eat dessert too!

    haha, deal!
  • MackieMotivation
    MackieMotivation Posts: 25 Member
    Once I lost the 50lb I had to lose I lost friends. It makes me sad to say it but some people just didn't come around to my new lifestyle. I'm still the same happy outgoing person, probably plus some, but they gradually began not inviting me out. The friends I'm referring to are overweight themselves and I guess I just didn't fit in with them and their unhealthy lifestyle any longer. Maybe I was a constant reminder of where they would be if they had stuck to the healthy new habits that we initially started all together.

    You will learn who your true friends are, surround yourself with people who make you happy and are encouraging, forget the rest :D
  • joyincincy
    joyincincy Posts: 228 Member
    Once I lost the 50lb I had to lose I lost friends. It makes me sad to say it but some people just didn't come around to my new lifestyle. I'm still the same happy outgoing person, probably plus some, but they gradually began not inviting me out. The friends I'm referring to are overweight themselves and I guess I just didn't fit in with them and their unhealthy lifestyle any longer. Maybe I was a constant reminder of where they would be if they had stuck to the healthy new habits that we initially started all together.

    You will learn who your true friends are, surround yourself with people who make you happy and are encouraging, forget the rest :D

    So true, it is sad how some people simply can't accept others for who they were and who they become. Good for you in helping yourself and hopefully your former friends will eventually find their own way.

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