Please Don't Judge

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iAMsmiling
iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
in Motivation and Support
What do you think when someone asks you not to judge?
I'm asking because, for me, it goes to the heart of what it means to be "supportive" or "helpful."

If I post a picture of my progress, a food plan, an exercise plan and ask for your feedback, am I not asking you to judge me and my plans?
How will you help me if you don't judge the path I'm on and decide that you believe I should do this or that differently, or even that I'm doing everything right?

Isn't "judgement" essential?
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Replies

  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    oh you, and your logic...
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Most of the time when people say don't judge it means that they're going to be too defensive to listen to good answers that aren't packaged in rainbows and glitter.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    I think judgement is essential....

    but i think like "critique" it's been assumed that all judgement is negative and thus to be avoided.

    the negative is necessary, it keeps us honest and makes us work harder.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Logic be damned!!

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  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
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    Most of the time when people say don't judge it means that they're going to be too defensive to listen to good answers that aren't packaged in rainbows and glitter.

    I love when men talk about rainbows and glitter.... :love:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I think they are really saying "don't tell me what I DON'T want to hear."
  • closenre
    closenre Posts: 225 Member
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    Most of the time when people say don't judge it means that they're going to be too defensive to listen to good answers that aren't packaged in rainbows and glitter.

    I love when men talk about rainbows and glitter.... :love:

    HEHE!!
  • BeTheFire
    BeTheFire Posts: 102 Member
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    What do you think when someone asks you not to judge?
    I'm asking because, for me, it goes to the heart of what it means to be "supportive" or "helpful."

    If I post a picture of my progress, a food plan, an exercise plan and ask for your feedback, am I not asking you to judge me and my plans?
    How will you help me if you don't judge the path I'm on and decide that you believe I should do this or that differently, or even that I'm doing everything right?

    Isn't "judgement" essential?

    I believe to give useful advice some judgement needs to be made. But not to chastise a person's efforts or character is what is important. Post your pics and menu, get critiques, and know its coming from sources of support.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I think they are really saying "don't tell me what I DON'T want to hear."

    i agree this is true for most.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I think it means, "if you give any useful but critical information to me, it must be packaged in a box with a bow on it that is my exact favorite color or I won't open it."
  • shirleygirl910
    shirleygirl910 Posts: 503 Member
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    When I see "Please don't Judge" I think automatically they only want happy positive comments. If you post on MFP you should be open minded and be asking for other people's experiences. I know 99.9% of these people are not doctors. Be open minded people. You want to know the good and the bad of something and then research it more yourself and make your own decisions. If you want coddling and only "happy" feelings, go read Joel Olsten.
  • VryIrishGirl76
    VryIrishGirl76 Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Most of the time when people say don't judge it means that they're going to be too defensive to listen to good answers that aren't packaged in rainbows and glitter.

    love this answer.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
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    Most of the time when people say don't judge it means that they're going to be too defensive to listen to good answers that aren't packaged in rainbows and glitter.

    Ooooh! "rainbows & glitter" ... this is so true.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
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    This topic reminds me of one of my favorite quotes -

    “We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't.” Frank A Clark

    Which, I think, pretty much says it all.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    I think it means, "if you give any useful but critical information to me, it must be packaged in a box with a bow on it that is my exact favorite color or I won't open it."

    Yep. Pretty much.

    Also my immediate thought is if you're so worried about other people's judgements perhaps internet forums aren't the place for you.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,287 Member
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    I think it means tell me how I can improve, suggest how I can do it better, remind me of what I've already accomplished. that would be supportive and encouraging and helpful. I think judging would be saying what they are doing is stupid, a myth, acting like you are better or smarter than them because you have different ideas, etc talking down to them. I don't think it's that hard to tell the difference is it? of course on these boards that is asking for a miracle.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    What do you think when someone asks you not to judge?

    In my experience, that statement is usually followed by a really slutty story.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I normally say "don't judge" when I do something stupid lol
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    i-tried-and-therefore-no-one-should-criticize-me_zps11a3840f.gif
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
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    What do you think when someone asks you not to judge?

    In my experience, that statement is usually followed by a really slutty story.

    Lol....those are the best! And....I never judge. :drinker:

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