Life and death decisions

haroon_awan
haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
Quick survey for my university work:

In you old age, would you be interested in deciding how you die? If you were suffering from a terminal illness and experienced intolerable pain throughout your day, would you want a doctor to end your life?

What would you consider a “good death”? Quick and painless? Perhaps at home and surrounded by the people you love?
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Replies

  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Quick painless death
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    My brother is going thru this right now. Its tough. He told me when the pain gets to much, he is going to stop the feeding tube. I respect his decision. :frown:
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    If I had to choose I would want to just go to sleep and not wake up. If I had a terminal illness and were in pain I absolutely would want to have the option of having a doctor assist me with ending my life.
  • klross
    klross Posts: 49 Member
    Yes, I would like to right to say when and how my life would end. Especially if there is unrelenting pain, or eminent mental deterioration where I would have no idea who is who and what is what. Perfect death would be to fall asleep and never wake up. But if I linger, I would want to be comfortable in my own home and around loved ones.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    i did not have terminal illness, but i had chronic pain so bad i didn't want to live anymore. i tried (and failed at) the quick & painless approach, 3+ yrs ago.

    i came away from that firmly believing that anyone, anywhere, anytime should have complete dominion over his own life and death.

    what's the kurt vonnegut story with the ethical suicide booths? that one's a trip!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I would like to be put to sleep. If my family wants to be there, that's cool. Even if I wasn't really in pain, but was unable to do anything for myself and my quality of life sucked, and I was becoming a burden financially, yeah, put me to sleep.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    I would like to be put to sleep. If my family wants to be there, that's cool. Even if I wasn't really in pain, but was unable to do anything for myself and my quality of life sucked, and I was becoming a burden financially, yeah, put me to sleep.

    That's another point in some cases too, thanks.

    Just for others: would your answer be different if you weren't in pain, but your quality of life was poor and degrading (you cannot eat or enjoy food, stand or walk, wash yourself or need others to clean your entire body)?
  • I had to make this decision for my mom 4 years ago. As much as it hurt then, I am so glad that she had a "good death". Seeing her suffer would have ultimately been so much more painful for all of us and result in the same end.

    As for me, I definitely would like physician assisted suicide to be an option. Nobody should have to endure that kind of pain.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    I would like to be put to sleep. If my family wants to be there, that's cool. Even if I wasn't really in pain, but was unable to do anything for myself and my quality of life sucked, and I was becoming a burden financially, yeah, put me to sleep.

    THIS
  • LilacDaffodil
    LilacDaffodil Posts: 148 Member
    I agree with all the previous posters, for both scenarios a quick, quiet, painless death please
  • LaurySch
    LaurySch Posts: 277 Member
    Hard to say because I'm not in that position right now, but I think that I would rather not be able to make my own decision. I am of the opinion that you never know how your life affects others - I'm a fighter and would fight to the end.
    That said, if you asked me after a significant period of a particularly painful illness, I might change my mind!
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
    Quick survey for my university work:

    In you old age, would you be interested in deciding how you die? If you were suffering from a terminal illness and experienced intolerable pain throughout your day, would you want a doctor to end your life?

    What would you consider a “good death”? Quick and painless? Perhaps at home and surrounded by the people you love?

    I would certainly appreciate the choice; in my old age, as to how I am to die. I think living a long, full life at least deserves that bit of dignity. If I were suffering constantly, in pain... I'd want to have the choice as well if I am to continue with it.
    As for a 'good death'; I am going to say it would be something that would leave you your dignity. It would be to slip peacefully into the abyss in my sleep; to go quietly with those whom I love at my side.
  • Yes, I would like to right to say when and how my life would end. Especially if there is unrelenting pain, or eminent mental deterioration where I would have no idea who is who and what is what. Perfect death would be to fall asleep and never wake up. But if I linger, I would want to be comfortable in my own home and around loved ones.

    I have a living will that directs my loved ones to terminate life-saving techniques if I'm ever in this condition. Or, as I'm fond of saying when I'm having a bad day - "Somebody shoot me!"
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    I live in a place that has legalized physician assisted suicide. I agree with being able to choose at what point we should be able to make use of this.

    Unfortunately for many of us, even with a Living Will, it will be up to someone else to make that decision. So many variables, and so much nuance to the process, the timing, the "whys and whens" that it is difficult to even write a legal document outlining the desires of a person.

    It's very complicated, and I just hope I die in my sleep - or at least quickly - so neither I nor anyone else has to make this decision..
  • nomena
    nomena Posts: 165
    I have already stated clearly to my SO that if it ever comes to a point when my quality of life is too low to be considered humane, I want to die, with assistance if necessary.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    Fall asleep and not wake up
  • alliemarie77
    alliemarie77 Posts: 378 Member
    After the things I have been through as of late I would agree that it should be ones personal decision on how and when. I definitely think it would also make it easier for the loved ones to process the death a lot easier. Knowing exactly what ones wishes are, and what they want is easier to process than watching them suffer.

    ***Edited to add***

    I am sure a lot of people would just like to go to sleep and not wake up. It would be peaceful in that manner.
  • trying4real
    trying4real Posts: 113 Member
    I'm going with quick and painless, quality of life matters and I would rather go peacefully then be in a horrible nursing home where very few care and abuse is rampant
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    Hard to say because I'm not in that position right now, but I think that I would rather not be able to make my own decision. I am of the opinion that you never know how your life affects others - I'm a fighter and would fight to the end.
    That said, if you asked me after a significant period of a particularly painful illness, I might change my mind!


    ^^^ This. I have no idea what I would want because I am not in that position. I feel like I don't know what I would really choose until I am placed in that position. I would say that I prefer the easy way out because being in pain scares me. But I have been in pain before and I fight through it.
    So I can't really say....

    My grandmother was in this position 2 years ago. She was dying. She had a tube in her lungs to help her breathe because she couldn't do it herself. Everyone came to visit her and she saw her whole family. One night she felt she had seen everyone and had said her goodbyes. She, as weak as she was, pulled the tube out herself. The doctors/nurses called my dad and asked what to do and he said to let her be. That was the hardest decision I think he ever had to make. He went straight over to the hospital with 2 of my aunts and another uncle and they sat there with her till she passed.
    I respect her decision. She didn't want to live unable to do anything and hooked up to a machine.
  • DeeBrownBaker
    DeeBrownBaker Posts: 145
    after having watched my father die a long painful and deteriorating death from cancer, quick and painless or just let me fall asleep and not awaken. If I wasn't in pain and but my quality of life was suffering, I don't think I'd want to be a burden on my children or my family. again, just let me sleep away...
  • If I had to choose I would want to just go to sleep and not wake up. If I had a terminal illness and were in pain I absolutely would want to have the option of having a doctor assist me with ending my life.

    I agree. People have fought so hard to give us freedom for living our lives. We should be equally free to choose how we die (in the case of euthanasia, not suicide cuz yikes)
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
    No matter the situation - Terminal Illness with no hope, no quality of life, and/or pain - please allow me to pass as I wish even if it before my body decides it is done. If I am done mentally then let me go even if I need assistance from medical providers to pass peacefully.

    We give this comfort to our animals - WHY do we as humans have no choice to pass as humanly as possible.
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
    Quick and painless.
    I can't afford a doctor, but guns are easier to get anyway. I will outlive my husband most likely, based on our health. So once he's gone, I will get a gun to "defend" myself with the excuse of being a woman who lives alone. When I reach the point that I am either too sad or in too much pain to go on, I will pack all my stuff, pay all my bills, and take care of the problem myself.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    i don't like to think about this but i suppose we all do/have/will at one point or another. hopefully, i'll be blessed to live a looooong and healthy life--i want to be in my 90s and have great, great grandchildren! so if i had to choose, i'd rather just go to sleep and have that be my peaceful transition.

    but yeah, you know the line from bohemian rhapsody? " i don't wanna die. i sometimes wish i'd never been born at all.... i'm so happy to be alive but i understand the sentiment. for me, death is scary. hopefully i'll be at peace with it sooner rather than later since it happens to every single living being on this planet.
  • traceytwink
    traceytwink Posts: 538 Member
    I'd want to go quick and painless, we put animals to sleep when they can't do any more for them to stop them suffering so why can't humans have the same rights
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    i don't like to think about this but i suppose we all do/have/will at one point or another. hopefully, i'll be blessed to live a looooong and healthy life--i want to be in my 90s and have great, great grandchildren! so if i had to choose, i'd rather just go to sleep and have that be my peaceful transition.

    but yeah, you know the line from bohemian rhapsody? " i don't wanna die. i sometimes wish i'd never been born at all.... i'm so happy to be alive but i understand the sentiment. for me, death is scary. hopefully i'll be at peace with it sooner rather than later since it happens to every single living being on this planet.

    You just reminded me of a quote by Albert Camus:

    In the end one needs more courage to live than to kill oneself.

    Everyone's thoughts on this?
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    i believe in doctor assisted suicide.

    my grandfather spent the last years of his life in incredible pain. whether or not you feel it's enough pain or not, doesn't change that for him it was incredible pain.

    if he could have ended it he would have. I believe we should have the rights to make those decisions about our bodies.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    As someone who has had back pain to the point of wanting to die, I for sure would want someone to end my life if I had a horrible terminal illness.

    The reason I am doing all this, this eating right and exercising thing is not so I can look good naked, it is so I can live to an old age and hopefully die of a horrible boating accident while I am parasailing at the ripe old age of 93.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    i don't like to think about this but i suppose we all do/have/will at one point or another. hopefully, i'll be blessed to live a looooong and healthy life--i want to be in my 90s and have great, great grandchildren! so if i had to choose, i'd rather just go to sleep and have that be my peaceful transition.

    but yeah, you know the line from bohemian rhapsody? " i don't wanna die. i sometimes wish i'd never been born at all.... i'm so happy to be alive but i understand the sentiment. for me, death is scary. hopefully i'll be at peace with it sooner rather than later since it happens to every single living being on this planet.

    You just reminded me of a quote by Albert Camus:

    In the end one needs more courage to live than to kill oneself.

    Everyone's thoughts on this?

    Makes sense to me.
    In the end one expects to die soon as one's way of life has usually drastically changed for the worse. In the end one would rather die and be done with it that continue to live in that situation.
    Some say it's the "easy way out". Personally I think you never know if its easy or hard without being in the mind of that particular person.
    It could be the easy way out. Or it could be the hardest decision that person has ever made.

    ETA: Some people have a loss of hope and/or faith in the end. That could also play a part in the decision to end one's life.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
    In my opinion, no one who is not both elderly and in constant pain could answer this question with any accuracy as regards the decision they would actually make were they in that situation.