question for people who have been fat all their life

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Replies

  • Feed_the_Bears
    Feed_the_Bears Posts: 275 Member
    That's an amazing perspective that I never really thought about before. I was overweight going into grade 9 and lost 48 lbs in an unhealthy way. But growing up chubby I never fully adopted my new self. Since then I've put back on 30 lb (some muscle) and am now struggling all over again to take it off.

    I guess my main point is, try to really identify with your new self. Really accept the new person that you are. When my mom dropped from 360 lb to 150 she said part of the reason that she gained it all back was that she never really accepted her new identity. She closed her eyes and still felt like an obese person. Being heavy for so long you do a lot of self justification "I'm just a heavy person that's the way I am, might as well be me and eat this whole pizza". Those life long self lessons can be hard to overcome and may still echo in the back of your mind. Work hard to reaffirm every day the new person that you are. You are a healthy person with a healthy lifestyle that makes healthy choices. That's who you are, embrase it! :)

    Great job!
  • Feed_the_Bears
    Feed_the_Bears Posts: 275 Member
    I was never technically "overweight," but I have always been fat. I think it's definitely something that's warped my social life--and for me, that's the hardest part. Maybe it's just because high school wasn't that long ago for me, but I still hate how everyone treated me.

    I'm curious how one can be "fat" withouth being "overweight". I hope you're not being too hard on yourself calling yourself fat when you're not. Media can give us unrealistic expectations of what's not fat. (I'm not like that "model/actor" so anything bigger is "fat"). And if you're not overweight, please don't think of yourself as fat :)
  • jpuderbaugh
    jpuderbaugh Posts: 318 Member
    I too have been overweight for as long as I can remember. When I was really young, my cousin and I had matching bikinis, I was too young to appreciate a flat belly. I notice my weight gain in pictures from 2nd grade up. Basically all that my weight has ever done was go up. Middle school was horrible. I don't know why that seems to be a rule of life. Thinking back, I remember more bullying from myself than from anybody else. Mostly it was the simple fact that I was a "dork" and was "unpopular" as the "bullying" that I got, which was just other students avoiding me. You know the childish crap of being picked last to be on teams in class for projects, and nobody wanting to sit next to you for no apparent reason at all. I was awkward for a while in middle school and didn't know how to dress so I wore t-shirts with mismatched flannel shirts over top to hide my arm fat. Once in high school I discovered fashion bug and haven't looked back. I really don't wear t-shirts at all now. hate them frankly. I don't wear shorts anymore either.

    I don't think I coped with it. I think I was completely oblivious to the fact that I could change if I wanted to, but I was so incredibly uneducated when it comes to eating right and exercising. My parents didn't know any of it to teach me, and I don't remember learning proper nutrition in school at all. Once in college I started choosing nutrition classes as electives, even if I didn't need an elective. I wanted to learn what I needed to do. I still don't feel like I know near enough to teach my own kids someday. Which is why I am still trying to grow and learn before I have any.
  • Feed_the_Bears
    Feed_the_Bears Posts: 275 Member
    I got down to 147 and got LOADS of male attention, much more than I was used to, I also went back to uni to do my post-grad degree and found I was in with the 'in-crowd' that time around, it's very strange. I'm trying to get back down again now though!

    I only have 10-20 lb to lose, and I still get hit on often enough... but sometimes I think I subconsciously sabotauge myself because I'm afraid to be more attractive. Don't think I'm being conceited; Let me explain. I have a steady bf and a past trauma makes getting hit on extremely nerve wracking and threatening to me. I know I can't let this get in the way of my goals, but I think sometimes I'm scared of getting more attention.
  • kzemke
    kzemke Posts: 2 Member
    you don't have to be perfect, just happy with yourself.
  • rm830
    rm830 Posts: 531 Member
    I've always been fat, ever since I was a small child. I was always OK with it because I didn't know anything different. Of course I wished to be skinny, wished to be able to wear the clothes my friends wore and look as good as they did, but I didn't want to change my lifestyle at all. My parents would try to make me diet, make me exercise and nope...not happening. I wasn't skinny in HS, but I was fit...very athletic. I let it all go after my jr year, started partying etc. Never had a problem with men, so I didn't feel like I needed to change. When I got married, my husband was ok with my weight...he didn't care what I weighed as long as I was happy with myself and I was. I used to say "I'm gonna die anyway, so I might as well die enjoying my life and eating whatever I want". My wake up moment was last year, when I was looking at my pictures and realized how bad I let myself get....

    ...Now...although I've only dropped 36 lbs, I'm wearing the smallest size I've worn since I was about 14 yrs old. I don't feel any different yet though. I still see the same body as a year ago, and although I see a difference in my pictures, I still feel like the same fat person and try to hide my fat in pictures and clothes. I don't know when I will feel like I look good, I've never been thin so I don't know when or at what weight I will think I'm thin. I don't even know what to picture when I think of reaching my goal weight. Ironically though, I feel like I used to get hit on way more 30 lbs ago than I do now. Who knows what the future holds for my self image/self esteem as I get healthier and get fit.
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
    I have always been fat I dealt with it by being tough (my boyfriend says I can stop that now) and funny. It wasn't really a problem because I was always active in track, marching band, guard, tae kwon do, plays, softball. Once I quit those I just kept gaining and gaining and it seemed like there was nothing I could do.
    I remember in 8th grade I found the perfect pair of flair jeans they fit perfect they looked cool when I took them up the the register it was an older woman. She looked at the size and said are these for you I said "yes!" and all she could say was oh honey with a sad look.
    I
  • deller89
    deller89 Posts: 1
    I have always been big, runs in my family (not that it is an excuse) and it was easy to cope with i was just like all my friends i played every sport i could as a kid, i ate what everyone else did so i really wasn't different so i never cared much until after high school, then came the college years and the only reason i am pushing hard now is my friends have hit the wedding craze so i dont want to ruin their day.
  • JuneBPrice
    JuneBPrice Posts: 294 Member
    I was never technically "overweight," but I have always been fat. I think it's definitely something that's warped my social life--and for me, that's the hardest part. Maybe it's just because high school wasn't that long ago for me, but I still hate how everyone treated me.

    I'm curious how one can be "fat" withouth being "overweight". I hope you're not being too hard on yourself calling yourself fat when you're not. Media can give us unrealistic expectations of what's not fat. (I'm not like that "model/actor" so anything bigger is "fat"). And if you're not overweight, please don't think of yourself as fat :)
    I've been "fat" in the sense that boys in my school would moo at me and call me "Shamu." And so would my friends. And my family.
  • amykins514
    amykins514 Posts: 12 Member
    I've been overweight since I was just a child, the result of being able to drink many sodas a day starting at age 4, along with a lot of fast food for dinners as a kid.

    I just recently became a size 14, which is the same size I was as a freshman in high school, which is so odd to think about...

    Personally, being overweight made me afraid. I have always been painfully shy and so afraid of saying anything, because I always felt like I was going to be judged, much like I was in school when I would get spit on, called gross, and yelled at about how my entire family is fat. So as an adult, it really held me back. People thought I was weird because I had no social skills and couldn't carry on a conversation to save my life.

    As I've been losing weight, I've been coming out of my shell, and I've gained a lot more confidence. I actually speak to people at work now! I have friends because I know how to converse! It's like a whole new world for me. I don't shy away from pictures or mirrors anymore. (It's so sad -- my husband and I have been together for 10 years, and we have maybe 20 pictures taken of us prior to about a year ago. I hated cameras because I hated how I looked, so we really do not have a lot of pictures of us because of that.) I really feel like a new person, and I'm still learning how to adjust. And this is still with a ways to go till I hit my goal -- I can't even imagine who I'll be at that point! My co-worker and I were talking about that the other day, actually. He said, "When you hit your goal, you're gonna walk around like you own this damn place!" lol

    I'm much happier now than I think I've ever been. Losing weight has been so transformative, in MANY ways, not just physically. I'm happier about the non-physical changes then I am the physical...

    That being said though...Fitting in those size 14 pants was still pretty damn awesome!! :)
  • underthisfatareabs
    underthisfatareabs Posts: 18
    ive been fat my whole life and it made me upset so i ate more...got more fat and the cycle continued till i was 225 lbs. now im 130 and losing my last 10. i know ill never be that fat again. i cringe at old pictures
  • hot2def
    hot2def Posts: 80 Member
    Bump
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
    I've also been fat my entire life. Not huuuuge, but.. bigger than everyone else.

    I just got used to it. I was never really bullied at school for my weight but I've had confidence issues for so long now. I want to be able to wear bikinis and skimpy clothing and leave the house without worrying whether I look fat in this.

    This. In high school I used to think I was fat, but I was super athletic and actually looked pretty good - just not tiny.

    I know I will feel a lot better about myself now than I did then, regardless of weight. (Doesn't hurt that the skinny kids in high school are now bigger than me, though:)
  • mish24canada
    mish24canada Posts: 152 Member
    wow that amazing I have a hard time loosing and keeping off 10 pounds.
  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
    I've never been skinny, although I had a period of fitness in elementary school with track. I never got any attention from guys, but honestly, I don't think I would have appreciated it - by the time I was in high school, the only attention I had gotten had been as jokes, and I would have taken any advance that way if it had happened. I don't remember weighting myself except once in high school when we weighed for an aerobics class. I was 170 then, but I don't remember if I felt skinnier than I do now, even though I weight less. I had more muscle then, so maybe I was slimmer, but the fog of time limits me.

    Since I was never skinny, I didn't really have the feeling of being "fat" until I got up to almost 190 last year. I could tell that my thighs were getting quite big when I sat on the bus on my commute to work.
  • Lyndz_88
    Lyndz_88 Posts: 29
    Yep, always been big... i was a healthy weight once in my adult life, and i loved it! But it didnt last long. Got in a serious relationship, and the typical thing happened, i got comfy and slipped back into old habits again. But yea, it was awesome. Just felt so free! Wanna get back there so bad.
  • eliteboss987
    eliteboss987 Posts: 1
    I've always been a big girl. Since I was in kindergarden I was always the biggest or second biggest girl in the class. At 5th grade I was already around 250 and 5'10. At around 8th grade I was 280-290 and sophomore year I was like 320. I graduatedat around 340 and gained a lot of weight afterwards. I was tall so I didnt look terrible even though I was so fat. But of course after high school I partied a lot and though "whats the point in losing weight now?" I would just laugh it off and make jokes about it. I still do to this day, I'm a big woman and I'll probably never be thin, I'm tall (5'11-6'0) and big boned and broad. I was around 360-370 when I was 27, I'm now around 315 and a size 26, I plan on getting down to 200.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
    I never really saw myself as fat till I went to the doctors and she was all O_O you are OVERWEIGHT! Then came the shattering emotions. I was in High School then ( all through till freshman year I was 125lbs to my 5'2 frame) and was being told I weight 175lbs in Sophomore year. I understood I was stressed from all the new homework and stresses HS brings. But I didn't know I was that bad! I would chalk it up to late night pizza binges while doing essays and such. My first attempt to lose weight was an eating disorder. ( I DO NOT CONDONE EATING DISORDERS! SEEK HELP) I would binge eat and force myself to throw up and then also would go days on end without eating.. My parents became aware of this when they found me passed out on the bathroom floor. They then both put their foot down and had me go to a nutritionist. I was then a Junior at this time. I got my weight all the way back down to 140lbs by the end of junior year and into senior year all the way through. After Senior year tho I hit back up to 185lbs and then met my husband. At that point after I got married I went into cheesecake and happy bliss eating mode. and hit all the way up to 250lbs. I worked it off down to 220lbs then a ton of stress in life and then had a major car accident and hit all the way up to 330lbs!!!! ( couldn't walk for 1 1/2yrs and was eating comfort foods) then here I am now at 287 and working my way down :D!

    I sort have always been fat in the moments in life that mattered. I am fighting to lose weight now for my health and for the future of my un born children. They deserve so much more from me as a mom and my husband deserves so much from me as a wife :)
  • hbk991
    hbk991 Posts: 192 Member
    Hi, ive been fat all my life, my heaviest was 287lbs, now im at 197lbs. i always was one the tallest and biggest in my school, i was overweight due to excess of homemade food, never junk, im not a fan of junk food, the only awkward part was that was hard to find clothes, and all was tight lol, but i never felt bad at all during my heavy days, but i have to say that i wouldnt like to return to the heavy club :)
  • rheigneann
    rheigneann Posts: 4
    I've been fat all my life! And the bad thing about it, is that I was the only FAT person compared to my siblings! They are all skinny and sexy and seems to never gain any weight at all! It's so embarrassing! I grew up in a country where when you start to diet they will tease you about it and make you feel bad about yourself. But if you don't do anything about your weight, they will start calling you names and they even tease you more about it.

    I never really got used to it, the biggest that I have been was probably 260 and I was so scared of reaching 280 coz then it means I hit the end of the scale! I am always hurt whenever people call me names or won't let me ride tricycles or bicycles coz I was so fat! But I learned how to just ignore it, growing up with the weight is harder, people tend to look at you older even if I was only 12 they thought I was 25! and I don't even look 25, just because I was big! They always thought I gave birth or I already had a child coz I was soo fat!

    I never got the support from my family, i tried pills to help me lose my apettite and I lose 60 pounds! From 260 I went down to 200, but now I'm gaining it all back again and I'm so scared! I'm no longer a teen and I'm not getting younger anymore! It's scary to think no one will love me, because I'm so fat!
  • CeeHannah
    CeeHannah Posts: 9 Member
    Fat all my life. Suffered some severe teasing in school, too, which perhaps helps explain my at times crippling shyness all these years later. I've never felt comfortable in my skin. As someone else said, I know in my head that I'm not really fat anymore (even though I have haven't reached my ideal weight yet), but I don't feel that way yet. Also, I don't trust it. I've lost weight before (over 170 lbs once), and I gained it all back plus more.

    People who have never been overweight--and I mean really overweight, not the people who want to lose 10-15 lbs--have no idea how biased the world is against obese people. Apparently, it is quite acceptable to make fun of fat people on TV--Andy Rooney once commented on "60 Minutes" that the only two groups that it was politically correct to hate now are fat people and insurance companies. Try watching "Bones" for awhile and see how fat people are regarded on that show. If there's a fat person on the show, I know that person is going to end up being the killer.

    I have noticed only in the past couple of years that I am treated differently at times. I will probably realize even more when I lose my weight...
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