Is it normal to feel resentment ?

Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?
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Replies

  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
    Without commenting on the possible clean eating vs IIFYM discussion that may erupt, I'll just say sure. It's a natural reaction. It's how you deal with it that matters. I'm a little resentful that some people get to spend their lives doing nothing but living off a trust fund, but I imagine there are other people who are resentful that I don't have to deal with the crushing poverty they were born with, or that I don't have cancer (knock on wood), or I haven't been maimed in a fire. The list goes on.

    There are worse things in life.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    Be proud of your own choices, and try not to worry about what other people are doing.
  • MarizMommie
    MarizMommie Posts: 21 Member
    i didnt make any comments on this being the worse thing ever. I thought I read this topic names motivation and support...I was hoping for some support maybe some ideas on how to not want the food so bad when they eat it around me. Its like watching a slow-mo commercial in 3-d with smell!
  • PhattiPhat
    PhattiPhat Posts: 349 Member
    Without commenting on the possible clean eating vs IIFYM discussion that may erupt, I'll just say sure. It's a natural reaction. It's how you deal with it that matters. I'm a little resentful that some people get to spend their lives doing nothing but living off a trust fund, but I imagine there are other people who are resentful that I don't have to deal with the crushing poverty they were born with, or that I don't have cancer (knock on wood), or I haven't been maimed in a fire. The list goes on.

    There are worse things in life.
    :flowerforyou:
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
    i didnt make any comments on this being the worse thing ever. I thought I read this topic names motivation and support...I was hoping for some support maybe some ideas on how to not want the food so bad when they eat it around me. Its like watching a slow-mo commercial in 3-d with smell!

    I wasn't suggesting that you thought it was the worst thing ever. You did read the forum title correctly. Did you think you weren't getting support?

    Stop thinking you have to have salads and eat foods you don'e like, because you don't. Alternatively, you could just avoid exposure to these foods if it becomes a problem. It's a perfectly normal problem to have. As I was trying to communicate, it's an issue of perspective.

    Allow me to motivate you by reminding you that you're the one in control of whether or not you choose to be an environment where you're exposed to food porn.

    Now, go forth and feel empowered.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Feeling resentment might be an indication that you don't like the food that you're eating. You could work on finding foods that fit into your healthy plan, that you enjoy eating. I don't eat salads instead of hamburgers. If I want a hamburger, I make one, log it, and make sure that it doesn't put me over my calories.
  • darwinwoodka
    darwinwoodka Posts: 322 Member
    work out more and eat what you want! No reason to starve!
  • Have the cheeseburger with out the bun. Or, go get a package of morning side grillers. I fix them just like a cheese burger and I use the orowheat multigrain sandwich thins. In order for this to work for you. You need to find healthier versions of the foods that you love and fix that.
  • startheory
    startheory Posts: 63
    I think its totally normal to feel resentment or even frustration. I wish I could eat a burger from Carls Jr right now. And I know if someone naturally thin did, they'd probably lose weight haha. Its not fair. But life isn't fair...
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
    Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?


    Why are you eating only a side salad with barely any dressing? I'd be hungry and cranky eating that too. I like big salads, but I top with chicken or fish, plenty of veggies on the side, etc. I eat about 1200 calories a day of hearty, satisfying meals. You're welcome to look at my (open) diary.
  • Hlick
    Hlick Posts: 13
    Haha this is a tough one... I think its normal, but you can't really hold it against someone. Well actually sometimes you probably can lol... just kidding. I would just try to distract yourself while they are eating and hold your head up high. You will feel good about it. And give yourself cheat days... cause its going to be impossible to be good 100% of the time when its in your face all the time. Perhaps knowing your cheat day is coming up will you strength in the mean time. Its a struggle that's forsure! Damn boyfriends...
  • goodtimezzzz
    goodtimezzzz Posts: 640 Member
    yes...slap him
  • majasmi
    majasmi Posts: 133 Member
    just work for your food. 45 mins of circuit training and you can chow down a big mac and it wouldnt do much damage. or as another poster mentioned. just dont expose yourself to those foods each day and make your healthy foods more delicious. plain salads suck.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    work out more and eat what you want! No reason to starve!

    :drinker: :love: :happy:
    what she said.
    you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want forever and ever as long as you work out.
    also, no need to be on 1200 cals.
  • ShaunaLaNee
    ShaunaLaNee Posts: 188 Member
    i didnt make any comments on this being the worse thing ever. I thought I read this topic names motivation and support...I was hoping for some support maybe some ideas on how to not want the food so bad when they eat it around me. Its like watching a slow-mo commercial in 3-d with smell!

    I wasn't suggesting that you thought it was the worst thing ever. You did read the forum title correctly. Did you think you weren't getting support?

    Stop thinking you have to have salads and eat foods you don'e like, because you don't. Alternatively, you could just avoid exposure to these foods if it becomes a problem. It's a perfectly normal problem to have. As I was trying to communicate, it's an issue of perspective.

    Allow me to motivate you by reminding you that you're the one in control of whether or not you choose to be an environment where you're exposed to food porn.

    Now, go forth and feel empowered.

    FOOD PORN? BAHAHAH:) I will forever call it food porn now:)
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    Right now, just focus on you. When you get the hang of this you'll stop feeling resentful I hope. And pretty soon you'll be joining him and eating your Favourite foods but still meeting your goals:)
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    work out more and eat what you want! No reason to starve!

    Yes! Probably one of the biggest reason "diets" fail is because they aren't sustainable long term. People go to extremes and make themselves miserable which leads them to crash and burn sooner or later. Whatever you do to lose the weight needs to be something you are willing to do forever. EAT WHAT YOU WANT! Just don't eat a crap ton of it and over time switch to healthier alternatives. Make your favorite foods fit within your calories and exercise to earn extra calories if they don't fit. Good luck!
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    Why are you getting only 1200 cals? To be that should be somewhat higher.

    If that is a problem eat small meals in the day. I do. It works for me.

    However, I do not starve myself.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    You can eat reasonably and healthy and tasty all in one I have discovered I adore cooking example portabella pizza is awesome only 180 cals for 2 ( depending on toppings this is for turkey sausage a lil cheese spinach and tomato sauce that I make) its a great snack! Plus you can eat way more than just a salad have you tried hummus with fresh veggies?? Also not boring :D I have an endless list of health things to satisfy and delight try ohsheglows.com for one and feel free to message or add me if you want some other ideas also recipes under forums is awesome place to get the skinny on yummy things :)
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
    I say keep your eye on the prize and don't worry about anyone around you. In the long run, you will loose wieght and be healthier than him. Just because a person is not over weight, doesn't make them healthy! As for me, I am perfectly content with eating a homemade turkey burger.
  • Diane_1984
    Diane_1984 Posts: 18 Member
    yes...slap him

    Hahaha yes
  • You need a better salad! :)

    A way to use less dressing but still feel like you are having a lot of it is to have it on the side, dip your fork into it, then dip your fork into the salad. It's amazing how delicious this makes your salad!
  • hkb85
    hkb85 Posts: 37
    Have you tired cooking something low cal thats yummy that he would eat?
    It is soo much easier if he is eating the same as you
    I will have smaller portions of meat with more veggies
    or make a stir fry packed full of veggies etc
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.
  • It's completely normal, and while I agree that there may be worse things in life (cancer, poverty, etc.), it's frustrating to not have a fast metabolism, and also to hang around with people who can be insensitve and eat whatever in front of us. I've been overweight my whole life, and often resent when others go to McD's and have a 10-piece nugget meal and 2 McChickens and 3 cheeseburgers, and know that it's the equivalent of 3 days' food for me! But the others are right, this is our journey, and we need to focus on that and try not to look around at what others are doing. Now, if I could only convince myself that's true about the gym! ;-) Hang in there, and just do the best you can every day. If we fall off, we just have to get back up again. We have to keep trying to lose weight as if our life depended on it...because it does.
  • cals83
    cals83 Posts: 131
    I think it is totally normal. I can't eat gluten so whenever someone eats a soft pretzel or any other food that I miss terribly in front of me...I cry on the inside a little. But..I just suck it up and move on and find something else to eat because I know deep down it isn't worth it to me.

    Also, you shouldn't deprive yourself of things that you really enjoy...just keep it under control and within reasonable portions and that should help a little with feeling resentment. I don't think you have to eat clean 100% of the time to reach your goals.
  • chelseybennett1
    chelseybennett1 Posts: 275 Member
    I've failed at many diets in the past because I was under the wrong impression that all I could eat was salads. It wasn't until I changed my eating habits to eat whatever I want just watching my portions and add veggies as sides that I learned the correct way and will never look back.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    Get some noseplugs......

    That's partly a joke, and partly not. Our mind will give us anxiety when we smell something we really desire and fixate on that smell.

    If you didn't smell it, it probably wouldn't bug you.

    You really can't expect "others" to change their eating habits because you have changed yours...it isn't fair to them to be "on your diet" by simple assocation with you.

    So my suggestion is either to find a way to deal with it, or eat separately.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I feel pretty lucky that my daughter, who is the only other person in the household, is on board with what I'm doing. If she were sitting there eating take-out pizza right now, I'd be pretty pissed -- not at her, just at the situation. I give major props to anyone who can keep their resolve while those around them are eating all the goodies.

    Stay strong, and try not to resent him. It's not his fault. It's the burger's. It's always the burger's fault.
    ___

    P.S. If you want a cheeseburger (or pizza or Chinese), make it fit. You may not be able to have it as often as your man, but you can definitely make it work once in a while.
    ___

    :)
  • bonniecarbs
    bonniecarbs Posts: 446 Member
    Yes its normal, but I'll tell you that just eating a salad is really thinking like they did back in the Jane Fonda days. Since you are on MFP, use it as your tool so you can eat like a human being and not a rabbit. and like the other responders said, work those calories off. Lots of success to you.