Do you get decent support at home?

motown13
motown13 Posts: 688 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't know how to answer my own question, so I am leaning towards saying no.

My wife doesn't really ever say anything about my weight, good or bad. I ask her to workout with me and that never happens. Yes, she works hard, and about 50 hours a week, but I think she loves working that much. But she always complains that she is tired. I explain that working out gives me more energy.. Stil, all of my workouts are done alone.

Do you get decent support at home?

I would LOVE to have the chance to support my wife.
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Replies

  • mlg1712
    mlg1712 Posts: 14
    No.

    My partner is incredibly unsupportive, and it's at the point now that I keep my excitement to myself, otherwise I just get upset.

    I'm relatively new to this weight loss journey, so I was enjoying telling him my results, but I'd be mid-sentence, and he would think of something more important to tell me, such as "I saw a nice looking dog today", or "I might go throw some grass seeds out the front". I'm still waiting for a nice comment from him.

    My kids are great though. My youngest enjoys hearing about my exercise for the day, and my eldest likes sharing my food :smile:
  • marygee1951
    marygee1951 Posts: 148 Member
    Like MLG1712, my SO isn't the least bit interested in my journey. That's why I spend so much time here! (My SO can be a real SOB!)

    I guess we just have to accept the fact that we are doing this for ourselves. It's unfortunate your wife won't join you for your workouts. Is there some type of physical activity she enjoys? Maybe then she'd join you. But you may be right - she enjoys her job more. :brokenheart:
  • talk2elles
    talk2elles Posts: 124 Member
    My SO and I put on our weight together but we are lucky to be supportive and losing it together too. He just signed up on here too after I kept on talking about MFP
  • tachyon_master
    tachyon_master Posts: 226 Member
    I live by myself. And due to work situations my relationship is long-distance.

    I have zero support from anyone. My friends think that "it's too much like hard work" to go to the gym for an hour a day or bother to eat healthy when it's easier to get greasy takeout from the diner.

    It's a lone journey for me, such as it is.
  • crystalrp
    crystalrp Posts: 113 Member
    My SO and I live in different states, but he is really great with me trying to lose weight. When I go to his place for a weekend he always tries to think of foods we can have that fit into my plan. Actually last night when I arrived, he had some delicious steak wraps all ready for us! YUMM-O! He also mentions that he can see that I have lost weight, and doesn't seem to mind when I tell him about my exercising, or what I had to eat that day. I can't see him ever exercising with me, but if he doesn't want to go for a walk, I certainly am not going to hound him. My ex used to complain about my weight but then he would sabotage my efforts by bringing home my favorite candy bars, so I do realize how lucky I am now!
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    My husband is very supportive. He tells his friends how hard I work and says he's proud of me all the time. Sometimes he'll share things he's heard like, "This woman at work is trying to lose weight by drinking these shakes. Why don't people realise that all they need to do is eat sensibly and exercise sometimes, like you are!" He's an awesome cheerleader. He helps motivate me when I can't be bothered working out, but he also reminds me to take rest days if I'm over doing it. I feel quite lucky.
  • kath2810
    kath2810 Posts: 93
    My kids are great with support... Other than that i get good support from my friends on here , they are awesome...:smile:
  • ken_hogan
    ken_hogan Posts: 854 Member
    My wife will 'like' my posts on Facebook when I lose weight or complete a run (I have MFP & my C25K do automatic posts on Facebook.) Other than that, I don't get a 'great job' or 'you're looking great!', etc. She is patient with me though when I measure my servings, etc. at home. But I don't get any 'real' type of support that I would like to get though.
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Mine was okay at first but then he started to get frustrated at the counting....until his test results came back better. That brought him right back!

    My dad and my husbands mom have supported me the whole time. Others are coming around slowly!
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    My husband doesn't join me for my workouts, but that doesn't make him unsupportive.
  • zahid222
    zahid222 Posts: 233 Member
    my husband is not supportive. He actually hinders my efforts. He is very slender but eat my food instead of his and not make me aware of it .So when I go to look for my food its gone. It can be very aggravating. He does say He wants me to loose weight but in reality does little to help!
  • GemmaM_x
    GemmaM_x Posts: 324 Member
    Yes! We're both on MFP and are both eating well and losing together :-)
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    my husband is not supportive. He actually hinders my efforts. He is very slender but eat my food instead of his and not make me aware of it .So when I go to look for my food its gone. It can be very aggravating. He does say He wants me to loose weight but in reality does little to help!
    So why don't you just buy "your" food for the both of you?
  • princessputz
    princessputz Posts: 283 Member
    my husband is not supportive. He actually hinders my efforts. He is very slender but eat my food instead of his and not make me aware of it .So when I go to look for my food its gone. It can be very aggravating. He does say He wants me to loose weight but in reality does little to help!
    So why don't you just buy "your" food for the both of you?

    Ditto why not?
  • missymakayla
    missymakayla Posts: 309 Member
    I have a wonderful husband, and he gives me support every day. It helps that we stared this journey together on 1/15/13. He has lost 35 lbs, and I'm at 48.5 lbs right now. He is where he wants to be, but I still have 31 lbs to go....But we both are very supportive of each other!!!!
  • kimberlyhaddix
    kimberlyhaddix Posts: 21
    Yes and No, I say this because my husband is supportive but as he says, he loves me for me and doesn't care if I loose weight or not. He realizes that this is a journey that I have to make and will help me however he can but like I said, he loves me for me on the inside not the outside so he is ok with how I look. He will walk with me if I ask him too. And will eat whatever I fix or wherever I want to go to eat. He does tell me that he can tell I have lost weight and he doesn't say anything if I have a bad day. I guess I should say he is not pushy. It can be a help and a pain at the same time.
  • nurse2022
    nurse2022 Posts: 18
    My daughter introduced me to this site. I work 12 hours/day, am the heaviest I've been in 25 years, and having a great deal of pain in my back and Rt knee. She told me of MFP and said she enjoyed it; and she had started it less than a month earlier. I've lost 14# in about a week and a half and we support each other with encouragement and recipes, etc. We live about 400 miles apart, she and her husband have given me 3 beautiful grand children, just had to brag a little, and MFP gives us something special that we talk about share. No matter if the scales go up on our weigh day, we just remind ourselves of the changes we've seen already and don't dwell on the negative of a couple of pounds,that is probably fluid anyway.

    I hope all of your SO's become involved and supportive, but even if they don't verbalize it to you; remember they are noticing. There will come a day that they will be very supportive because they will see how much it means to you and the changes in you.
    Don't tell them they should be supportive, just tell them little updates like "i lost another pound this week' and don't say anything else. Eventually they will ask the wonderful next question, "how much have you lost?" and you will have your #1 supporter in your camp.

    Good luck on this new adventure of becoming the people who are healthier and happier. I know I'm on my way thanks to the help of my daughter.
  • Wakefromsleep
    Wakefromsleep Posts: 44
    Some husbands or boyfriends may be worried about all the attention you are getting. They might think you will leave them once you have changed. Therefore, guys will be unsupportive or even mean to burry that feeling. Keep doing what you are doing. You will be better off.
  • dorthymcconnel
    dorthymcconnel Posts: 237 Member
    My husband isn't interested in joining MFP or anything like that, but he does walk with me most evenings and since he buys the groceries most of the time (easier for us) he buys the things he knows I will eat these days. While it's my responsibility to take care of my health, he does stay up long enough in the mornings (he works nights) so I can take my walk without having to worry about our son. When I feel like ditching it all and eating ice cream straight out of the carton, he is there to remind me of my goals and let me know that no stress is worth adding more on top. I'm blessed to have him on my side.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    I get great support at home.

    Mainly because I choose not to rely on the support of others to meet my goals.

    :flowerforyou:
  • meagank28
    meagank28 Posts: 52
    I guess I am lucky. My husband is super supportive. He likes to hear about what I have done for the day. He eats whatever I eat. He works 12-14 hours a day, and is happy to have me pack him a healthier lunch which makes it easier for me because the stuff I am trying to avoid is no longer in the house. He comments on the changes he sees also, which is awesome!!!
  • RunForChai
    RunForChai Posts: 238 Member
    We need to build support systems in our lives that work. Families might try to sabotage our health for their own reasons---I think it is important to develop networks that bypass those issues. Just keep eating healthy, if you have kids provide them with a great role model and lots of healthy food, don't engage in arguments about food with the family members who are trying to hold you back.

    Engaging in arguments or trying to get others to support you who are stuck in their ways is a waste of time---but sometimes slowly over time you might see that you are a positive influence in the lives of those previously unsupportive.

    I try to be sympathetic, family might be scared that if you lose weight you won't love them anymore---or that you will judge them.

    Find some support in your friends or here on MFP.
  • Bekebab
    Bekebab Posts: 18
    Maybe you should ask her to come along just to keep you company? Nothing else? She can bring a book or something! And then she'll see how much you enjoy it and you can begin encouraging her to join in with you :D
    My family is terrible with support, too.
    While I'm busy making brown rice (later than my brothers and sisters, who have eaten pizza or something), my Mum will come in and make a bacon sandwich, or cheese on toast, and I just get so angry with her.
    My Dad always brings a lot of 'junk food' in from shopping and is always offering me stuff, he also rarely buys the food that I would like and have put down on the shopping list. The only support I really get is from my sister Nina, who doesn't live with us anymore anyway.
    I really don't understand, and I don't know what to do. I've asked time and time again for them to cut down on bringing so much food in, but nothing happens >__<
  • Dynamis600
    Dynamis600 Posts: 743 Member
    No support here.My DH will go out and buy doughnuts for the kid's and expect me to control myself, but I wonder if it is because he is insecure about losing me if I get slim funny thing is he was the slim one when we got married. My kid's sometimes help and other times forget and buy me treats. *sigh* but I decided that "if it's to be it's up to me" anyway.
  • GormanGhaste
    GormanGhaste Posts: 430 Member
    My other half is using mfp as well. We just got to the point where we wanted to be healthier.
  • jlcantrell71
    jlcantrell71 Posts: 1 Member
    I think my husband would be supportive if he knew how to be. He knows it is important for me to lose this weight. I have tried on and off for years now. When I told him I wanted his help to train for a 5K, he didn't take me seriously. To his defense, he works nights and takes care of the house while I work and go to school full-time. He just wants me to be happy.

    On the brighter side, I have found a friend that is helping me train for the 5K. We started last week and are signed up for the run October 4th. She is doing WW which is just to much work. I much prefer MFP!

    I hope you are able to get that support from somewhere because it is vital to your success.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Mine is for the most part. He even made an account as a token show of support. The only nit picks I have iwth him are when he offers me beers in the evening even though he knows I haven't allotted any cals for them and I've completely stopped talking about how many cals are in different foods. Nothing malicious or hurtful though and he's all for me trimming up. :wink:
  • mararabb
    mararabb Posts: 37 Member
    I get very little support from my family. I had gastric bypass 7 months ago and have lost 75 pounds, and am 95 pounds below my highest weight. My dad thinks my weight loss is wonderful and asks about it every time he calls, but he's had weight issues most of his life and is still going to the gym every day to keep it under control. All my husband has done is gripe about how much money I'm spending on vitamins/supplements, protein powder and protein bars. If I ask him, he'll tell me that I look much better, but it doesn't mean a whole lot if I had to drag it out of him. My daughter is the only person in my house who is encouraging - she comments on "new" (10 years old, but she's never seen them before) clothes, she rides her bike with me when I run. I'm not sure my sons even notice.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    My husband is super supportive. He buys me all my equipment, works out with me, eats any healthy concoction that I make and encourages me every step of the way. I am a very lucky girl :)
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    My husband is slim, the perfect "V"-- broad shoulders, slender waist and hips, 5'8", 145 lbs. He is supportive. He spots for me when we lift weights and occasionally I catch him watching me while I am lifting and he smiles and gives me a thumbs up. Or out of no where he'll say, "lookin' good!" He and I focus on fitness and health together, and weight loss is my thing. He eats whatever I eat, except larger portions. He doesn't do anything to subvert my efforts. It would just be out of character for him to be "overtly" supportive with constant feedback about my weight loss,and I am fine with that.

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