Dr Recommends Gastric Bypass over lifestyle

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  • potluck965
    potluck965 Posts: 529 Member
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    I don't usually bother to reply to threads where a bunch of people have already given such good answers, but this one really bothers me.

    Too many people are not willing to wait for or do the work necessary for anything these days. They want a quick fix, whether it is a pill or surgery. Unfortunately, too many doctors are willing to go along with them and, as in your case, have gone overboard and actually push surgery or other treatments.

    Anything invasive, whether it is surgery or even injecting something into you, carries a risk. Anesthesia can be life threatening in itself and have major life altering implications. If you survive anesthesia there is a risk of complications from the surgery itself, from blockages to infections, all life threatening and I don't mean just weight loss surgery.

    And even if you don't need surgery, look at some of the injections. Compounding pharmacies all over the country are being found to be unclean and putting out unsterile products that are killing people.

    Cripes, how many meds have been taken off the market after being in popular use for some time because some horrible side effects were discovered and too many people lost their lives?

    Now, I'm not saying that you should never have surgery or get an injection or take a pill. What I am saying is to be informed and know the risk. It's one thing if you need it to survive, it's another to go into it when there is an alternative.

    There are no quick fixes without repercussions.

    Kudos to you for not being bullied.
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    If you don't think he respects your choices or has your best interest at heart, get a new doctor. When I was 19 and about 285 pounds after having lost about 30 pounds, I went to see a new gyno. She took one look at me (I should say, I carry my weight well, I don't look like I weigh as much as I do) and just started handing me pamphlets that she had ready to go and told me I should get gastric bypass. She didn't ask about my weight, didn't even ask how I was for that matter. Just started shoving her stupid pamphlets down my throat. I looked at her and told her I wasn't going to get the surgery because I can do it on my own. She looked at me and said, "Well why aren't you, then?" I wanted to slap the *****. But at that point I got up and walked out, found a new doc who I love very much :flowerforyou: Sometimes, you just gotta stick up for yourself.
  • RachelSRoach1
    RachelSRoach1 Posts: 435 Member
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    Aren't there patient rating sites online where you can warn people about his tendencies? That makes me sad to hear him say this... and be so obviously for profit. And as much as it hurts to admit, this probably represents a good ratio of America.

    For every 1 person doing the hard thing and doing it right, there is another who is doing it the hard way with fad diets and misinformation. And 15 people who could care less, live in denial and eat what they want, when they want it.

    That is just an estimation.. but that's how it seems sometimes.
  • gdrmuzak
    gdrmuzak Posts: 103 Member
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    Good for you. I personally know several people who've had the various weight-loss surgeries and all of them have either stopped their losses or have gained their weight back and now they are bigger and have more health issues.

    The problem i see is that the surgery doesn't take care of what goes on on the inside which helped create the outer symptoms of obesity...addictions, low self-esteem, lack of discipline, lack of respect for oneself, etc. One can "peel away" the outer results of the inward turmoil and then the real issues that drove a person to become obese are even more evident until the person eats themselves back to obesity.
  • nyaladreamer
    nyaladreamer Posts: 13 Member
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    Stick to your plan and values and bump everyone else who said to get another doctor. Try to find a dr that is sympathetic to your needs and desires. I've known people on MFP to lose a lot of weight = get with those fine folks!
  • GFielding_56
    GFielding_56 Posts: 76 Member
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    Keep on doing what you're doing 45lbs loss is amazing - just keep on top of it - you'll get there in your own way much safer etc.

    You'll also have the pleasure of knowing to quote a song "You did it your way!"

    Well done.
  • dorthymcconnel
    dorthymcconnel Posts: 237 Member
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    I'd find a new doctor, if it is at all possible. He sounds like a jerk. Good for you for standing up to him. A former friend of mine let herself be bullied into the surgery and for the sake of vanity now she's putting her life even more at risk, all because of money grubbing doctors. Keep up the great work you're doing!
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    I feel like there is prob more to this story. Have you talked to your doctor about it before? Is it something you were considering at one point? I disagree with the manner in which they talked to you dont get me wrong. I just feel like something is missing, like there is very little dialogue from him.

    Most doctors encourage you to lose weight naturally even before a surgery like that. It is well knows that the bigger you are, the more likely you are to have complications and are more at risk of dieing during the proccedure.

    Saying that: This is what I wrote on another thread:

    I was offered the surgery around 3 years ago. Most places make you attend a class then a support group before you can meet with the doctor. That SCARED the hell out of me!!! Not only did at least 90% of the support group have a hard time learning how to eat small amounts and get the nutrition they needed, most of them had complications and had to get another surgery or treatments. It wasn't due to the actual surgeon, it was because they either didn't eat enough or threw up all the time so they got dehydrated or anemic and or had to be hospitalized or they ate too much and ripped their stitches. The surgery does NOT change the person. The person changes themselves. The support group seemed to be focused on how to get passed the symptoms rather than how to change their lifestyles.

    My thoughts on why I didn't:

    Have I really tried to lose weight? No, not really. At least not in a good way. Fad diets, shakes, and plans I didn't actually stick to for more than 2 weeks DO NOT COUNT. If I cheated and didn't stick to a healthy diet for a period of time, no. If I have the surgery, it will be years before I get back to normal. If I cant stick a simple plan out now, well, I shouldn't be allowed to do it.

    Do I want to go years without being able to guzzle water and or sometimes eat without throwing up? Hell no

    Do I have the skills to eat right after the surgery? No, I didn't get fat overnight. I have had bad eating skills for a long time. I am a creature of habit like everyone else.

    If I don't have the willpower now, what makes me think I will change later on? It doesn't. Its simply a way to force myself to eat less. It is not a long term solution. I might as well be anorexic and save myself some money.

    Have I exercised enough? No.

    Am I willing to die to lose weight? No. I get the fact some people are so obese they need the surgery but I was not at that stage in my life. If I can walk, there is NO excuse not to exercise. I needed to stop being lazy.

    I had a friend die from the surgery. His mother who had it too had a ton of complications and guess what? 10 years later she is fatter than she was in the first place.

    So, NO NO NO.

    I don't care if people disagree with me. If you haven't busted your butt then no. If you haven't worked out at least 5 days a week for a few hours a day, if you haven't eaten a clean diet, if you haven't stuck to a plan more than at least a few months without cheating much, If you are not so obese you cant walk, no.

    I truly believe 90% of the people who have the surgery should have got off their butts and worked to lose weight first. People say its not the easy way out. Yes it is. At first anyways. It only gets hard AFTER the surgery because you get forced to eat less.

    I feel like the people who lost weight from the surgery have invalidated the hard work I put in 6 days a week at the gym. It disgusts me when people asked if I had it. No, I actually worked for it. I sweat every day, I ate right. I changed my thought process about food. No, I didn't lose it overnight. but I sure earned every single ounce.

    Do what you want but IMO, Just say No.
  • christineadams1840
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    I think this guy is not a good fit for you. Find someone who you can relate to and is willing to HELP you on your current path. Good luck!
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    I am a WLS patient. I struggled for a long time prior to surgery to control my BRAIN and get on track mentally before I felt I was even ready for surgery. For me it was necessary to make the lifestyle/diet change PRIOR to surgery. Even with the changes personally, I felt that that surgery was still needed to address my issues with persistent hunger. I had a larger than normal stomach and a smaller than normal metabolism. I chose the procedure that removes the part of the stomach that produces the majority of the hunger hormone ghrellin but does not change the way my body absorbs food.... I am VERY happy with my surgery and I've lost 30 pounds since my surgery 10 weeks ago... which is about a pound a week faster than I was losing before my surgery, but I don't care much about speed.. it's the fact that I can now be physically satisfied with smaller portion sizes that I am thrilled with.... So I'm speaking here as a very happy WLS patient....

    You are absolutely right the surgery does not control your brain... and your doctor does not know what is going on inside you mentally. It's one thing to recommend a surgery and tell you about the benefits/risks.... but it's quite another to make you feel that there is undue pressure to have it. Surgery can be a wonderful tool for SOME people but it is not the right thing for everyone. I know personally I would have responded very poorly to anyone, even a medical professional trying to force WLS down my throat. It's a DEEPLY personal decision and not one to be taken lightly at all as it is definitely not a quick fix or magic pill. If this doctor continues to push the WLS and not support you on the path that YOU have already proven is working for you then I think you have no choice but to fire him and find a doctor who will be a bit more supportive of assisting you down the path that is right for you.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    Good for you, OP. You have the right mindset, and I have no doubt you will be successful on your journey. '

    Congratulations on the loss so far.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    First of all, I agree that surgery is certainly not for everyone, and he is not a good doctor for trying to get you to do something you're not comfortable with.
    That being said, you should probably educate yourself about WLS first. You're making judgments and stating facts about it that simply aren't true. There's nothing wrong with not going the surgery route, but it should be for the right reasons.
    Good luck and continue the great work!!!

    -Kendra
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    I'm seeing a weight loss doctor and my endocrinologist on a regular basis.
    Today I'm with my endo.
    He hasn't seen me in 6 months.
    After 3-4 minutes he says to me-and not in a compassionate voice-"So when are you going to
    just buckle down and get the surgery?"
    I was incensed.
    I had just told him I've lost 45 pounds.
    This is the 2nd time he's tried to bully me into surgery.
    I told him "never".
    I told him I know people whose lives were destroyed bc of a botched surgery.
    Then I asked him what about the people who after 5 years start stretching what's left of their stomach out and become overweight all over again? My issue is appetite control. Cutting half my stomach won't stop appetite. But teaching my brain and body to reach for salads and protein when I'm hungry, and not cakes, cookies, ice cream and bread; and increasing my activity every month, week and day will help me to accomplish my goal.
    When he was with a patient in the next room, I heard him telling that patient how he was an ovo lacto vegetarian....how superior it must be to be him.
    I can't help but imagine how this as**ole has brow beaten less "stubborn" people into surgery. Don't get me wrong...surgery is the answer for some people, just like my methods are the answer for others. For this pompous as* to try to bully me into what he "thinks" is best for non-vegetarian fat people just rubs me the wrong way. I actually fantasized about getting up and beating the sh(& out of him right there in the treatment room.......but then I'd probably have a hard time refilling my testosterone prescription.

    I like you... a lot.

    Your message is perfect. There's nothing wrong with WLS but sometimes doctors aren't recommending it for the right people (my 20 yo niece being one of them).

    /salute and hat's off to you!
  • bariatricbadass
    bariatricbadass Posts: 6 Member
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    I am a WLS patient. I struggled for a long time prior to surgery to control my BRAIN and get on track mentally before I felt I was even ready for surgery. For me it was necessary to make the lifestyle/diet change PRIOR to surgery. Even with the changes personally, I felt that that surgery was still needed to address my issues with persistent hunger. I had a larger than normal stomach and a smaller than normal metabolism. I chose the procedure that removes the part of the stomach that produces the majority of the hunger hormone ghrellin but does not change the way my body absorbs food.... I am VERY happy with my surgery and I've lost 30 pounds since my surgery 10 weeks ago... which is about a pound a week faster than I was losing before my surgery, but I don't care much about speed.. it's the fact that I can now be physically satisfied with smaller portion sizes that I am thrilled with.... So I'm speaking here as a very happy WLS patient....

    You are absolutely right the surgery does not control your brain... and your doctor does not know what is going on inside you mentally. It's one thing to recommend a surgery and tell you about the benefits/risks.... but it's quite another to make you feel that there is undue pressure to have it. Surgery can be a wonderful tool for SOME people but it is not the right thing for everyone. I know personally I would have responded very poorly to anyone, even a medical professional trying to force WLS down my throat. It's a DEEPLY personal decision and not one to be taken lightly at all as it is definitely not a quick fix or magic pill. If this doctor continues to push the WLS and not support you on the path that YOU have already proven is working for you then I think you have no choice but to fire him and find a doctor who will be a bit more supportive of assisting you down the path that is right for you.

    PREACH! I agree 110%. You phrased my thoughts perfectly. I myself am almost two years out from a RNY :)
  • grim_traveller
    grim_traveller Posts: 627 Member
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    First, everyone should have a doctor who listens to their patients and helps them be more healthy based on what the patient decides. You obviously will never get along with this doctor from the vehemence of your post.

    From the fact that you are seeing an endocrinologist, you also have other issues, probably Type 2 diabetes. Whether you like the doctor or not, it is still his responsibility to give you advice, whether you like it or not. And please, everyone, stop with the greedy doctor crap. All doctors turn away patients because there are too many morbidly obese people, and not enough doctors. This guy doesn't need to pressure people, there are lines going out the door.

    So here's what all of you will give me crap for. Five years ago, I was exactly where the OP was. 48 years old, diabetic, high blood pressure, cholesterol, needed two new knees and one hip, all of that. I had lost and regained more weight than you could shake a stick at. I had lost almost 100 pounds, and was still referred to surgery. I was showed all of the scientific literature showing how vanishing small the chances were of losing enough weight and keeping a significant portion of it off. That kind of success, for being that weight and that age, is nearly insurmountable. You would be better off playing Powerball. I insisted, just as strongly as the OP, that I could do it myself. I was wrong. I just couldn't keep the weight off.

    Let me add, I would not recommend the band to anyone. It's total crap, and doesn't supply the benefits of gastric bypass. Many surgical centers have stopped doing them because of the complications.

    I had gastric bypass. I'm 6'3", and at my peak weighed 475 pounds. Today I was 201, just one pound away from a healthy BMI. Two days after surgery, I was no longer diabetic, and within a month was off of all medications. My blood pressure, and all my labs, are better than most twenty-year-olds.

    And yes, gastric bypass, BUT NOT THE BAND, does control your appetite, not just your portions, as most people seem to think. The lack of appetite, as well as curing diabetes, are the result of hormonal changes from the surgery. Talk to your endocrinologist about this. I can't tell you how different it is to not have constant hunger cravings, the physical addiction, for food. And it absolutely is physical, not just mental. In some other countries, they are now doing bypass operations on diabetics without weight problems, because diabetes disappears. I would have done the operation for that reason alone, without the weight loss. I have seen what diabetes has done to too many people. I like my eyesight, and my feet, thank you very much.

    So, bring on the venom, but five years ago, I could have written the original post. I wish him the best of luck, but the facts are, he will not lose enough weight, or keep it off for very long. And most of you cheering him on will lose a bit of weight, and one day will stop logging on to MFP, gain your weight back, and disappear from view. We hear about success here, but the failures are mute.

    Yes, there are risks to surgery, but no where near the anecdotal evidence you will see on MFP. Remaining morbidly obese is far, far more dangerous than the surgery. it literally saved my life, and was worth the small risk.

    The Ed Davenport's of this world are one in a million. I was no Ed Davenport. I wish I could have been.
  • TheDarlingOne
    TheDarlingOne Posts: 255 Member
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    If he cannot be supportive considering 45lbs down - then who can you trust to get support from!? Sorry you had a rough time! Glad you've got a strong mindset :)
  • EDollah
    EDollah Posts: 464 Member
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    Not to be a contrarian (but I will), I don't think the doctor deserves bashing just for the surgery suggestion. I get the feeling this is just standard practice to suggest the surgery when someone qualifies. Personally, my doctor, who I have much respect for, advised me to get the surgery. I didn't because, like you OP, I still believe I can achieve eventual success the old fashioned way. If you've got other issues with your doc, that's a different matter, but I wouldn't ditch a doctor just for advising this surgery. From their perspective, they see population-wide statistics showing a low probability of success without surgery and a much higher probability of success with surgery. There aren't many doctors that can look into your soul to see how focused you are (or aren't) on achieving target weight.

    Also, to those saying the doc is just looking for revenue, I doubt s/he would make anything since the surgeon would be someone else.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I have a family member that did more than the gastric bypass-he had most of his stomach removed. He is a very intelligent person as well. I still, to this day, cannot understand the logic behind life threatening surgery over gaining control of your food intake. Yea, it is hard to study diet and then actually control the food intake in both quantity and quality. However, the gastric bypass only addresses half of the problem, the food quantity, it does not address the food quality problem.

    :flowerforyou:

    Quoted for truth. I will never understand WLS.
  • aloranger7708
    aloranger7708 Posts: 422 Member
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    The doctor doesn't make any money with you doing it your way.

    This.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Not to be a contrarian (but I will), I don't think the doctor deserves bashing just for the surgery suggestion. I get the feeling this is just standard practice to suggest the surgery when someone qualifies. Personally, my doctor, who I have much respect for, advised me to get the surgery. I didn't because, like you OP, I still believe I can achieve eventual success the old fashioned way. If you've got other issues with your doc, that's a different matter, but I wouldn't ditch a doctor just for advising this surgery. From their perspective, they see population-wide statistics showing a low probability of success without surgery and a much higher probability of success with surgery. There aren't many doctors that can look into your soul to see how focused you are (or aren't) on achieving target weight.

    Also, to those saying the doc is just looking for revenue, I doubt s/he would make anything since the surgeon would be someone else.

    But that's exactly the problem with doctors! They always prescribe drugs and recommend surgeries like there is no other way to reach the same result without!
    ETA: that's why people bash them.